Am I being disregarded?

[Dannydee]

Hi guys,

I have been employed with my company for nearly 5 years. We are a large organisation.

At our staff Christmas party a month ago, there was a dance-floor incident which resulted in me suffering a dislocated elbow. There was no foul play as far as I'm aware, it was simply that I was so drunk I fell over, after a female colleague asked me to pick her up, or something to that effect.

Now, I don't actually recall what happened. I had been drinking heavily, and after I drank a full bottle of wine straight from the bottle, that's where my memory switches off. I do have visions of me being first up on the dance-floor loving life, but between that and me being in hospital in extreme pain, I remember very little.

Coincidentally, there is a hospital next door to the venue where our party was being held. When I approached my friend outside, after staff of the venue, apparently, asked me to leave for being too drunk, he said I needed to go to hospital as my arm was hanging off from the elbow. My friend took me to the hospital.

The situation is that I'm currently off on fully paid sick leave, having gotten a months sick line from my GP, taking me up to mid-January. It looks like I will be needing another month at least, because my scan appointment on the 8th of January has been put back to the 12th of February, and I'll possibly require more time off if it turns out that I require surgery. My arm is currently in a flexible brace that is helping avoid the possibility of it becoming dislocated again, whilst allowing some movement. It will not straighten all the way, which is really worrying me. However, I did some research and it seems this injury can take a long time to fully heal, so perhaps I may not need surgery, just lots of physio and rehab.

I know Christmas is a busy period and all that, but I have been feeling a little disrespected by my company in some regards. There hasn't been much acknowledgement of what happened to me. Obviously I had a few phone calls with my TL in the week following the incident, updating them as to what was happening medically, but other than that, I feel somewhat ignored. My friends tell me there wasn't even an email sent out to all staff highlighting and/or acknowledging that a staff member had suffered a serious injury at the Christmas party. To me that doesn't seem right at all, like it has been brushed it under the carpet.

When I say I feel ignored, I have given my TL permission to call me weekly if they wish, to update them on my situation, but what I mean is, given the severity of my injury, and the fact that it happened at a work function, I feel like perhaps the company should be doing more for me. Am I right or wrong to expect so? Are there entitlements that I'm being neglected of?

For instance, I accept that in effect I probably wasn't drinking responsibly, and that's on me. However, the drink was supplied by the company, at a function arranged by them. We are all "representing" the company at work functions, so doesn't that go both ways? I mean shouldn't they be taking it upon themselves to offer to assist and/or aid me in my recovery, given that this happened on their time? What would happen if I had sustained this injury in the office?

I'm not for a second trying to milk what I can out of it or anything like that, but someone did suggest to me the other day that the reason for their lack of acknowledgement and/or offer of support may be that, because it was a works do, that from a legal perspective they could potentially be held accountable for what happened to me. This obviously got me thinking, and it would make sense as to why I feel like it's being overlooked.

Can anyone who knows more about this kind of thing provide me with some advice or insight as to where I stand please?

 

[alan1302]

So you got drunk, injured yourself and want to blame the company?

I'm not sure why you think they should email to tell people that a staff member was injured? I think you should be more embarrassed by what you did than wanting loads of people to know.

 

[fisicx]

To me that doesn't seem right at all, like it has been brushed it under the carpet.

No, you are an embarrassment to the company. Your conduct was disrespectful. Stop with the complaining and offer your deepest apologies to everyone at the party. Right now you are a financial burden on the company.

 

[Prime81]

I wish I hadn't read your message I'm angry at your lack of personal responsibility . You got drunk and hurt yourself so grow up and take the consequences. You are lucky your firm provided drink, most people have to pay for their own at the Xmas party. This world is turning into a 'blame everyone else, not my fault' society. How are you not embarrassed? I really cant believe you are asking these questions.

 

[Mr D]

Been off on long term sick from more than one company. Common to be ignored - maybe at certain points they will request an update but that could be months away.
No reason for people to contact you often. Could be seen as harassment even if work keeps contacting you despite being signed off medically.

 

[ecommerce84]

A friend of mine once attended a wedding with an open bar, paid for by the grooms family.

He drank more than he should of done too, and so did a girl that was also in attendance at the wedding and in their drunken state found a nice secluded spot for a couple of minutes of fun.

4 months later he had a Facebook message from a name he didn’t recognise with a face he couldn’t place. You can guess what it was telling him.... he was going to be a dad.

They’ve done well to be fair, and the child is well loved, but I don’t think it has once occurred to them that anyone other than them are at fault for what happened. Not the venue for having them there, not the grooms dad for supplying unlimited free alcohol and not the bride and groom for inviting them.

Think yourself lucky it’s just a broken arm..........

 

[Lucan Unlordly]

Seems you've been here before Dannydee?

From your first post in 2018...
It's been 2 full weeks from me calling a customer a cheeky b**ch and I'm still employed there yet no word as yet from HR or otherwise.

 

[MBE2017]

Probably not calling you, but working on your dismissal. They kindly supplied wine, which you chose to drink straight from the bottle. Seriously, if you worked in a company for myself, forget any laws, you would be finished.

I would suggest using your time off looking for a new job, and some form of personal responsibility for your embarrassing behaviour.

 

[JEREMY HAWKE]

I think you might get the sack

 

[obscure]

At best the employer is trying to save your blushes by not informing the whole company of your appalling unprofessionalism and lack of self control. Not that they need to because, you can rest assured that, everyone already knows through the grapevine. At worst they are busy working out the best way to terminate you.

That you even entertain the merest idea that this is somehow their fault or responsibility and or that you deserve any support just beggars belief.

 

[Stas Lawicki]

Assuming this isn't a wind up... It sounds like a very unfortunate situation for both you and the company.

I would suggest you look at why you felt compelled to drink as much as you did, in the manner in which you did. Have you spoken to your gp about this? Has this happened before and does it happen often?

You may not get fired. Your company may well be willing to help you get back on track and provide support and services. They haven't contacted you much for several possible reasons :

1) you're not the only employee
2) they may have closed over Xmas and are busy with people being on leave now back
3) they are worried that contacting you whilst sick may cause trouble in the future with an et
4) they don't care
5) they don't have your current contact details, etc etc

I wouldn't think about what they are or are not doing. Go and get some help and move on. Get back to work ASAP and put the whole thing behind you...

 

[Dannydee]

Ok so it's quite clear what the opinion of the majority here think. However, for people who appear to know what they're talking about, you're being quite ignorant to the fact that a company can't just sack someone on sick leave. And even if I wasn't on sick leave you can't be sacked out of the blue just like that, "forget any laws, you would be gone" ... Sounds like some responses may have been emotionally driven.

So as for this...

I would suggest using your time off looking for a new job

Let's say I did do this, theoretically. How does handing in notice work if I were to get a new job whilst on sick leave with another company? Surely you can't hand in a months notice and stay sick for a month?

Ps. I wasn't trying to pass blame to anyone, I'm fully aware it was my own stupid fault. To all those criticising me and calling me an embarrassment, perhaps the full disclosure is that I have a drink problem I'm finally addressing, given the recent damage done and it's resulting ripple effects. But no, people just go on the attack.

 

[fisicx]

I agree you can’t be sacked but you questioned their lack of communication and then suggested it might even be their fault. That’s why people responded the way they did.

It may be your employers are preparing disciplinary action on your return.

 

[Dannydee]

Assuming this isn't a wind up... It sounds like a very unfortunate situation for both you and the company.

I would suggest you look at why you felt compelled to drink as much as you did, in the manner in which you did. Have you spoken to your gp about this? Has this happened before and does it happen often?

You may not get fired. Your company may well be willing to help you get back on track and provide support and services. They haven't contacted you much for several possible reasons :

1) you're not the only employee
2) they may have closed over Xmas and are busy with people being on leave now back
3) they are worried that contacting you whilst sick may cause trouble in the future with an et
4) they don't care
5) they don't have your current contact details, etc etc

I wouldn't think about what they are or are not doing. Go and get some help and move on. Get back to work ASAP and put the whole thing behind you...

Thank you for your actual useful response. I don't need to speak to my GP about any alcohol related problem as I know myself what is and what isn't right in that regard. I gave up using drugs 9 years ago by myself so I'm much more mentally stronger than the average Joe. So if alcoholism needs addressing, I can do that on my own merit.

I've never had such an injury through this kind of thing. Closest to it would have been when I was 13 I was drunk and fractured both my arms. That's 20 years ago. However the severity of the current injury has most certainly made me sit up and take notice of my alcohol consumption, which admittedly, is too much. I'm doing the dry January thing, for a start.

I know for sure the company won't be firing me, nor will they be engaged in the process of orchestrating such a plan. I'm 99.99% certain of this.

I even had a message from one of my colleagues earlier this evening telling me how much they all missed me and couldn't wait until was back.

 

[BustersDogs]

Ps. I wasn't trying to pass blame to anyone

that from a legal perspective they could potentially be held accountable for what happened to me.

Yeah, that's trying to pass the blame. You were so out of control you drank until you passed out, but apparently that's the company's fault?

"I accept that in effect I probably wasn't drinking responsibly,"

I think you seriously need to get help, because apparently you admit to drinking an entire bottle of wine by yourself, from the bottle itself, no need to slow yourself down by taking a few moments to use a glass, and you think this 'probably' wasn't responsible??

Seriously, the crazy has started.

 

[Dannydee]

I agree you can’t be sacked but you questioned their lack of communication and then suggested it might even be their fault. That’s why people responded the way they did.

No I was merely stating what a local shopkeeper suggested to me the other day.

It may be your employers are preparing disciplinary action on your return.

I heard they were opening an internal investigation as to what happened, to make sure such a thing doesn't happen again.

There's not much to investigate. Guy was smashed off his face and fell. Case closed

 

[Dannydee]

Yeah, that's trying to pass the blame. You were so out of control you drank until you passed out, but apparently that's the company's fault?

Again, this was just something a local shopkeeper suggested to me the other day. Not an idea I had formulated.

 

[Root 66 Woodshop]

Incorrect conduct - can have you fired... the fact that you're off sick at the moment, won't stop them dismissing you if/when you go back.

I was bottled by a work colleague when I was in my 20's it was funny, as hell...

We were all in the hotel, drinking as you do... I was sat on the Managers table, along with the colleague, and the Director came and sat with us, we were all chatting when he came out with some random crap about having a gun, and he was going to defend his missus, and his unborn child if anything happened... I told him to grow up as that wouldn't get him anywhere... so, he bottled me...

I stood up and went closer to him to have words... as I was laughing at the fact he'd done it... he obviously thought... oh pooh... and legged it...

He was sacked in the first week back.

 

[Dannydee]

Incorrect conduct - can have you fired... the fact that you're off sick at the moment, won't stop them dismissing you if/when you go back.

I was bottled by a work colleague when I was in my 20's it was funny, as hell...

We were all in the hotel, drinking as you do... I was sat on the Managers table, along with the colleague, and the Director came and sat with us, we were all chatting when he came out with some random crap about having a gun, and he was going to defend his missus, and his unborn child if anything happened... I told him to grow up as that wouldn't get him anywhere... so, he bottled me...

I stood up and went closer to him to have words... as I was laughing at the fact he'd done it... he obviously thought... oh pooh... and legged it...

He was sacked in the first week back.

I didn't hurt anyone but myself.

Listen guys there is nobody planning my dismissal in my current absence. As someone kindly reminded me in an earlier response; I once vehemently swore at a customer and survived it. I've made mistakes in life and I've always paid for them. This being only my second major mistake at this company, and I immediately paid for it with a serious injury.

 

[Clinton]

Again, this was just something a local shopkeeper suggested to me the other day. Not an idea I had formulated.

Of course not, it's always someone else who's the pratt

If you had the smallest iota of a moral compass, you'd have punched him in the face instead of jumping at his suggestion.

But it takes an opportunistic tw*t to dump what they know is right and get excited at the prospect of screwing their employer for a mistake of their own making.

Your time at this job is limited and I'll tell you what a lot of people in this thread are thinking: I do hope this character doesn't end up as one of my employees.

 

[Dannydee]

Your time at this job is limited

Since everyone keeps saying this I shall continue to repeat, smugly at this point, that I shall not receive my marching orders from this company

 

[fisicx]

So what exactly is it you want from this thread?

 

[Dannydee]

So what exactly is it you want from this thread?

I just wanted to find out if I was right or wrong to expect more support from them in the aftermath of the incident.

I think I've gotten got my answer.

 

[Newchodge]

you're being quite ignorant to the fact that a company can't just sack someone on sick leave

Whyever not?
How long have they employed you?

 

[Dannydee]

Whyever not?
How long have they employed you?

5 Years

 

[tony84]

What do you want them to do?
You are a grown man, they are not going to come and wrap you up in cotton wool, work life goes on and your manager and everyone else still has their job to do, if not more now they are covering for you.

You are probably sat there doing very little bar watching crap on TV so you have more time to think about it. They still have to get up, go to work, do their job, go home etc.

Whilst I dont agree with it, they do have some responsibility, but if you just picked up a wine bottle and necked it, there is probably not a lot they could have done short of watching you every second of the night. You got drunk, probably made a bit of a tit of yourself came out of it worse off and you live and learn.

Enjoy the month off, dont think about work and then go back and carry on as normal.

You work in a big company, you are just another cog in the machine. I have been one when I worked for a bank. I realised when I left, people that I had spent 3 years working with, going out with 2-3 nights a week, growing up with, were not real friends. I do not speak to any of them anymore. If you left, I bet 90% of the people there would forget about you within 6-12 months of leaving, bar that story that comes out once a year at the christmas do about that lad who got off his face and broke his arm.

 

[Newchodge]

urely you can't hand in a months notice and stay sick for a month?

Whyever not?

 

[Newchodge]

5 Years

Then they cannot sack you without going theough a (potentially very brief) process. they can do that while you are on sick leave.

 

[Mark T Jones]

I suspect you're trolling; however, if it helps, I enjoy a drink.

Sometimes a little too much.

However, there is no way on earth I would employ you.

 

[Dannydee]

What do you want them to do?
You are a grown man, they are not going to come and wrap you up in cotton wool, work life goes on and your manager and everyone else still has their job to do, if not more now they are covering for you.

You are probably sat there doing very little bar watching crap on TV so you have more time to think about it. They still have to get up, go to work, do their job, go home etc.

Whilst I dont agree with it, they do have some responsibility, but if you just picked up a wine bottle and necked it, there is probably not a lot they could have done short of watching you every second of the night. You got drunk, probably made a bit of a tit of yourself came out of it worse off and you live and learn.

Enjoy the month off, dont think about work and then go back and carry on as normal.

You work in a big company, you are just another cog in the machine. I have been one when I worked for a bank. I realised when I left, people that I had spent 3 years working with, going out with 2-3 nights a week, growing up with, were not real friends. I do not speak to any of them anymore. If you left, I bet 90% of the people there would forget about you within 6-12 months of leaving, bar that story that comes out once a year at the christmas do about that lad who got off his face and broke his arm.

I would've said that it was interesting that you'd assumed I'm just sitting on my backside watching crap on TV and doing very little. Except I can't really blame you as people wasting every spare second on Netflix seems to be the thing these days, or perhaps that's what you would do.

I don't watch TV, at all. I'm spending most of my time reading some of the books on my extensive reading list, watching and listening to lectures and talks (by Dr Jordan Peterson, mostly), and even evaluating online business ideas. Unfortunately I had to cancel my gym membership since a surgeon recommended waiting at least 3 months before I lift any weights again, but I can at least go walking and other exercise. I'm not someone who "kills time" but rather, invests as much as possible of my time, to best effect. Although one downside is that my sleeping pattern is almost back to front.

It's all on me this incident, I get that. I just want to recover from my injury and get back to my usual life as quickly as possible. However, when that will be, is as yet unknown because there is still the possibility that I could require an operation, as the healing isn't going as well as I expected. What I'm saying is it could be more than a month off.

 

[JEREMY HAWKE]

This is where I blame the owners of this site and it is extremely rare that I would do this as I offer nothing but support.

I was never lucky enough to have a job I would not be able to get a job . Nobody would employ me
Like others on here I have always had to grow my own So allowing stupid questions regarding employment is ridiculous

When are all concerned going to get it into their heads that this is not a trade Union forum it is a forum to support business

If people are coming on here to moan about their job expect inappropriate reply's

If you have a problem at work ,I don't care

 

[Dannydee]

I suspect you're trolling; however, if it helps, I enjoy a drink.

Sometimes a little too much.

However, there is no way on earth I would employ you.

Well I'm not trolling.

I'm pleased however, that it's somewhat entertained you by evidently being out of the ordinary compared to what you're used to on here, it would seem.

 

[Dannydee]

This is where I blame the owners of this site and it is extremely rare that I would do this as I offer nothing but support.

I was never lucky enough to have a job I would not be able to get a job . Nobody would employ me
Like others on here I have always had to grow my own So allowing stupid questions regarding employment is ridiculous

When are all concerned going to get it into their heads that this is not a trade Union forum it is a forum to support business

If people are coming on here to moan about their job expect inappropriate reply's

If you have a problem at work ,I don't care

The title of this particular forum is "Employment and HR"

If you have a problem with that, I don't care

 

[antropy]

I accept that in effect I probably wasn't drinking responsibly

Probably... you mean you were not drinking responsibly! Alex

 

[Ian J]

If people are coming on here to moan about their job expect inappropriate reply's

I don't think that any of the responses were inappropriate

 

[paulears]

If you know you won't suffer consequences at work, then are you really just annoyed they're not phoning, popping in and making small talk because they miss you? You've left them in the lurch, embarrassed yourself, perhaps spoiled it for others in the future and you feel aggrieved they're not behaving nicely? Wow.

 

[fisicx]

I think this has now run its course.

Thread closed.