Looking for a partner in London

[murdoch]

1. No fast food chain gives a discount card. I will make something similar to the Tesco cards and then give them points for each £ spent.
2. I will have ads on the windows and the walls, it woudn't be a problem for the people that eat and even if it is I rather loose couple of dozens of customers than thousands of pounds.
3. I will be selling also souvenirs, because London is full of tourists. So I will be selling keyrings, etc near the toilets.
4. I will have stuff to buy in the lavatory such as condoms, tissue and golden root complex.
5. I will have a clown in each store which will bring kids with their family...
6. If you have seen in london there are people holding wooden boards with signs saying something like "Mcdonalds 10 meters". To save money I will not hire "stick holders" but will tape the boards to the near walls../QUOTE]

I'm starting to really enjoy this thread now, especially as we are starting to see more of the Business plan. Its either brilliant or mad, but certainly its revealing.

A couple of minor points.
Regarding your point number 6: well, as far as I'm aware, the reason that they employ people to hold advertising boards is that its legally ok for people to stand on their own and advertise something in public, but its NOT legally ok for you to tape boards to nearby walls! (otherwise you would find people tape things to the windows of your chain of fast food restaurants, and there would be no such thing as 'advertising posters' as there would be no need of them, we could all just tape anything anywhere).

regarding point 1: well, discount cards or member cards are used in some restaurants, Ive seen these in laminate like a small credit card... but certainly I agree that Ive not seen them in fast food restaurants before.

Oh, what kind of food will you be serving by the way?
What is you target market, tourists? Or families? or both?

 

[Online Trader]

The funny thing about this thread is how this idiot has managed to get so many people involved in spening time posting (look even I have posted )

He is cleary a wind up merchant and if left alone will dissapear as quick as he came

 

[Simon-M]

The funny thing about this thread is how this idiot has managed to get so many people involved in spening time posting (look even I have posted )

He is cleary a wind up merchant and if left alone will dissapear as quick as he came

It's called "Weekend Fun Time". Back to the real jobs on Monday

 

[streetslocal]

Was you not looking for a quote for a Mcdonalds style website before getting any money in the bank to even open a store?:|

 

[Simon-M]

Was you not looking for a quote for a Mcdonalds style website before getting any money in the bank to even open a store?:|

That's why you only get paid if he likes what he see's. Makes perfect sense.

 

[oldeagleeye]

WHAT A JOKER this guy is. Making money out of condoms in the toilets. I had a really big city centre pub until a couple of years ago. We were taking an average £2K a week out of the pool table and machines.

In a full year the condom machine too a £1 and that was stolen leaving the condoms behind. Never mind it is the way this guy tells them that makes me laugh.

He is not prepared to risk his own or uncle's money but expects us to put up £50K on a no brainer anyway and when it all goes pear shaped have a good laugh.

As for his contacts in London. I am sure that he has or people keen to talk to him. I understand the police are looking for a patient that escaped from a mental asylum that thinks his is a Duke or something. Good job it's not Superman OP and your on top of the Gherkin and try to fly - splat.

There is another possibility of course and the OP may have given himself away in that first post when he described himself as a 'Mastermind' . Well blow me down or is it that devilish Mastermind Blowfield. Could he be the one behind the £40 million jewellery heist in London a few weeks ago.

Possibly. Most of the gang they have been caught with their pants down for not thinking it through. One I understand put an advert in a McDonalds window just up the road. Rolex for sale . Brand new and half price as seen in Graff's Bond Street before the raid. Incredibly the guy gave his own phone number too. Rings a bell that somewhere.

Keep em coming OP. I got rid of the TV a while ago because there was little comedy on the box. This forum is far - far better when we get these posts from wannabe's.

In fact at times it is better than Only Fools & Horses. Bet you know Del Boy - don't you. I would stay away from the Blind Begger pub though. Movietub drinks there and word is that he has a tank full of pirana fish kept hungry for when wannabe's get insulting.

 

In a full year the condom machine too a £1 and that was stolen leaving the condoms behind. Never mind it is the way this guy tells them that makes me laugh.



.

well looks like a golder opportunity free packet of condomes with every 5 pints bought.?

Earl

 

[oldeagleeye]

What I couldn't understand Earl was that even the teenagers that sneaked in didn't take them after the door had broken off the machine. Along with those pyramid shaped Jubbly boxes we used to fill them with water in my day and use them as water bombs.

On a more serious note. If anyone is out shopping and sees a condom filled with what looks like water -say in an seemingly lost shopping bag STAY WELL AWAY and inform secirity - any security nearby. The IRA used petrol instead of water in condoms and attached to simple trigger used them as IED's. There can be no doubt AQ haven't got the same idea up their sleeve.

Rob

 

[*Lexxy*]

The funny thing about this thread is how this idiot has managed to get so many people involved in spening time posting (look even I have posted )

He is cleary a wind up merchant and if left alone will dissapear as quick as he came

do you think there's a Special School out there that's released it's Trainees out into the wild? the Course on how to be a Business Whizz for No Effort & Using Other Peoples Money must last about 2 years. The evidence is clear, Citizen_Erased 'found' us 2 nearly years ago & now we have the new improved version, The London Baron...

do you think they send them here as the first test of their abilities?

**shudders**

 

[Iwillmakeit]

Hi there,

As you I am also quite young compared to the members on here. Similar to yourself I got a B in business. Although I started in business at a very young age. The reason I got a B in A Levels this year was because I read the theory books and not because of real life experiences.

If I had answered a question associated to real life experiences then I am sure I would have got a U.

Getting an A/B in business does not show you are a good business person and you know about the business world. It shows you have good memory.

If your own uncle believes that your business might not work then that says it all for us.

Now mate if you are putting £0 in and asking for 50k for 30% equity then you are deluded.

I can get a random person on the street to come up with an idea it does not mean i will be giving him 50k.


So if you think you will get investment without putting £0 then think again. If it is a good idea any investor will take your business plan. Go away with it and open a similar model if its effective.


Now don't be a prat. Go work and invest money in the model itself then approach in an investor.

I'm not being harsh at all. In fact I can totally understand where you are coming from. However you come across as very ignorant.

Try a business angel if you still think you can get the funding.

 

[The London Baron]

thanks, you are the first person here to understand me. But it is not fair if the idea is mine to put the same amount of money for 50%, because I will be running the business because I have good leadership skills and cannot let someone without a track record to tell me what to do!
I cannot take orders and this is one of the reasons why I want to run my own business, don't want some business angel telling me what to do...

I better go to Dragons Den because I am sure they will give me the money, because my figures look something like that:
Year 1: £120 000 net profit (with just 1 reastuarant)
Year 2: £700 000 net profit (with 4 and economy of scale)
Year 3: £1 350 000 net profit (with 7 and 12 franchises)

So I will be able to raise £50 000 for just about 10% of the business cos they are rich and wouldn't care that much for £50 000... also I am a very proficient public speaker as for A levels I have done 6 presentations in front of not just 5 people like the dragons are but in front of the whole class of 23

Thanks for you reply again

Hi there,

As you I am also quite young compared to the members on here. Similar to yourself I got a B in business. Although I started in business at a very young age. The reason I got a B in A Levels this year was because I read the theory books and not because of real life experiences.

If I had answered a question associated to real life experiences then I am sure I would have got a U.

Getting an A/B in business does not show you are a good business person and you know about the business world. It shows you have good memory.

If your own uncle believes that your business might not work then that says it all for us.

Now mate if you are putting £0 in and asking for 50k for 30% equity then you are deluded.

I can get a random person on the street to come up with an idea it does not mean i will be giving him 50k.


So if you think you will get investment without putting £0 then think again. If it is a good idea any investor will take your business plan. Go away with it and open a similar model if its effective.


Now don't be a prat. Go work and invest money in the model itself then approach in an investor.

I'm not being harsh at all. In fact I can totally understand where you are coming from. However you come across as very ignorant.

Try a business angel if you still think you can get the funding.

 

[Iwillmakeit]

thanks, you are the first person here to understand me. But it is not fair if the idea is mine to put the same amount of money for 50%, because I will be running the business because I have good leadership skills and cannot let someone without a track record to tell me what to do!
I cannot take orders and this is one of the reasons why I want to run my own business, don't want some business angel telling me what to do...

I better go to Dragons Den because I am sure they will give me the money, because my figures look something like that:
Year 1: £120 000 net profit (with just 1 reastuarant)
Year 2: £700 000 net profit (with 4 and economy of scale)
Year 3: £1 350 000 net profit (with 7 and 12 franchises)

So I will be able to raise £50 000 for just about 10% of the business cos they are rich and wouldn't care that much for £50 000... also I am a very proficient public speaker as for A levels I have done 6 presentations in front of not just 5 people like the dragons are but in front of the whole class of 23

Thanks for you reply again

What you have to understand is from an investors point of view is that you are not taking any risks therefore they will not invest.

Now I can see where you are coming from with the figures but still they are only figures you need something to support it e.g you would need to set up one by yourself then go to the investor.

However you need to be careful if you are serious about this. Signing a form does not offer you any sense of security. If those figures to match up and an investor likes your BP it is very likely that they will take the business model and do it themselves there is nothing stopping them. Instead of only receiving 30% when they can have 100%.

But like i said if you do not have the funds go and work or open a mini venture then support it initially yourself.

Posting on a public forum about your business is not good. You could have avoided all of this by allowing individuals PM if they wanted further information based upon the business figures.

Good Luck.

 

[oldeagleeye]

GET REAL you idiot. Virtually everyone in this forum has a better track record that you. I 'll save you the time and being chosen by the producers of the DD as the laughing stock of all time by quoting James Caen

Tell me what is 30% of NOTHING.

And finnaly because I have had enough of this farce. You mentioned something about the last laugh. If you can't hear it now you are deaf as well as dumb because make no mistake we are all laughing at YOU and the way you are approaching business we always will.

 

[which_08]

I better go to Dragons Den because I am sure they will give me the money, because my figures look something like that:

Please do , that would be classic, i reccon it will top the guy who asked for money to gamble in casinos !! ha , ,seriously i cant wait .. imagine

Peter jones ,' I think you have wasted my time '
Baron : ' You dont have a clue you only made your money from luck bet you didnt think of selling condoms ? "

Theo : You want me to invest 50k of my childrens hard earned inheritence in your resturants. Tell me has anyone else shown and interest.
Baron : Well I have had some offers ,
Theo : Really oh well can i see them.
Baron Go to ukbusinessforums.co.uk and you will see some very interested partys. I have even have a website for £2.99

ha bloody great !! this will beat a night of michael macketyre and Alan Carr doing a double act.

So when are we going to see it ?

 

[The London Baron]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dragonsden/apply/form.shtml is that what you need to do to go to the Dragons?

The only problem is I do not have a business name yet how do i get the form to form a company please give me a link

 

[googol]

Did they not teach you that in Business Studies?

 

[Iwillmakeit]

Yes that's it.

You have two one is the online one.

The other is the TV one.

The producer of the show has said that the tv one they do take entries however they open them next year and will be shortlisted next year.

In terms of the online one bring your offer to 49K and record a video pitch of yourself and uploaded on there and then if you get shortlisted you will be on Dragons Den. Which will broadcast on BBC2 in one months time part of a 6 episode series.

You need to be over 18!

 

[The London Baron]

But I want to ask the money from the real dragons like James, Peter and Duncan don't want any money from the funny guy that has something wrong with his eye. I need the real dragons contacts and will probably ask them for more than £50 000. I was thinking ot maybe £150 000 for 15%, because my figures value the business on even more

 

[oldeagleeye]

As said. Deaf as well as dumb. Try StarbucksReborn. Cost 25quid which you can do on-line - fool. They are closing shops like there no tomorow. Mind you. You can forget that too. £50K wouldn't even pay the rates in the West End even if some fool gave it to you.

 

[Iwillmakeit]

But I want to ask the money from the real dragons like James, Peter and Duncan don't want any money from the funny guy that has something wrong with his eye. I need the real dragons contacts and will probably ask them for more than £50 000. I was thinking ot maybe £150 000 for 15%, because my figures value the business on even more

Watch what you say im in talks of investment with the guy who you just described. He is a serious business person with great sense. More than you will ever have.

The only contact you need is this: http://www.wlmht.nhs.uk/

You are deluded arent you; Im sorry but how can you go from 50k for 305 to 150k for 15% are you making this up.

NO ONE WILL INVEST IN IDEAS: YOU NEED TO SHOW THAT YOU ARE SERIOUS BY ADDING IN A CASH SUM YOURSELF

 

[The London Baron]

The rent of a house in London varies between £1000 and £2000, so £24 000 of the money will go towards rent. So do not speak unprepared, I have done my reasearch. Imagine if a whole house costs £1500 per month, how much a simple construction will cost, also there will need to be some refurbishment whcih will cost about £10 000...

As said. Deaf as well as dumb. Try StarbucksReborn. Cost 25quid which you can do on-line - fool. They are closing shops like there no tomorow. Mind you. You can forget that too. £50K wouldn't even pay the rates in the West End even if some fool gave it to you.

 

[oldeagleeye]

THIS HAS TO BE A WIND UP GUYS. Why don't we show the OP what a laughing stock he has become.

I am out close the thread.

 

[Simon-M]

Who's the guy in your Avatar Baron? Is that your care worker?

 

[Iwillmakeit]

The rent of a house in London varies between £1000 and £2000, so £24 000 of the money will go towards rent. So do not speak unprepared, I have done my reasearch. Imagine if a whole house costs £1500 per month, how much a simple construction will cost, also there will need to be some refurbishment whcih will cost about £10 000...

I'm sorry I had respect for you because you are the same age as me into business. But your business sense has just taken the respect about your idea and thrown it out of the window.

You are going to open a takeaway in a house in London. Are you serious who would let you do that? It's hard to get an A1 licence let alone and A3/A5 licence.

10,000 for refurbishment. I think your only talking about buying 30% of the equipment needed to start a takeway.

I hope you weren't inspired by this lot: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQBMzQlH3sA&feature=PlayList&p=iPSWjN5P6Vs

 

[Simon-M]

I'm sorry I had respect for you because you are the same age as me into business. But your business sense has just taken the respect about your idea and thrown it out of the window.

You are going to open a takeaway in a house in London. Are you serious who would let you do that? It's hard to get an A1 licence let alone and A3/A5 licence.

10,000 for refurbishment. I think your only talking about buying 30% of the equipment needed to start a takeway.

Masala Masood. Get in touch with Ian Beale C/O Beales Plaice, Walford High Street. Walford. The London Borough Of Walford. He is an entrepreneur after your own heart and will likely stump up the readies to set up in your bedsit.

 

[oldeagleeye]

WHOOPs missed that last one so one final point because I am concerned about what they do teach people in businees studies these days. How to run a business obviously not. The difference between self-employed and how to form a limited company obviosly not. What about health & safety - licencing. Premiums even on empty properties. Obviously not.

What pi--es me off more than anything is not the totaly unrealsitic expectations that the OP has but that my taxes are being used to produce a breed or absolute moroons.

Does the OP really deserve the Cuckoos Nest Award then. Yes - for his sheer arrogance in insulting time served and successful business entrepreneurs.

 

[ORDERED WEB]

The rent of a house in London varies between £1000 and £2000, so £24 000 of the money will go towards rent. So do not speak unprepared, I have done my reasearch. Imagine if a whole house costs £1500 per month, how much a simple construction will cost, also there will need to be some refurbishment whcih will cost about £10 000...

So now you have a place to live, whats the rest of the money for? A ompany car?

 

[Iwillmakeit]

WHOOPs missed that last one so one final point because I am concerned about what they do teach people in businees studies these days. How to run a business obviously not. The difference between self-employed and how to form a limited company obviosly not. What about health & safety - licencing. Premiums even on empty properties. Obviously not.

What pi--es me off more than anything is not the totaly unrealsitic expectations that the OP has but that my taxes are being used to produce a breed or absolute moroons.

Does the OP really deserve the Cuckoos Nest Award then. Yes - for his sheer arrogance in insulting time served and successful business entrepreneurs.

To be honest many individuals who study business do not want to start their own business; they do it because they want to learn more about the business world.

However what we learn is the theory behind it. How to produce a cash flow forecast, quantity of demand etc...

Companies house, licensing etc... we do not get taught that.

However a bit of common sense would tell anyone that you cannot expect to open a takeaway in a house.

 

[oldeagleeye]

That is what I mean . How long does this course last. A year . 2 years. I could teach a a 10 year old how to produce a cash flow forecast in 10 mins flat and what is this quantity of demand. There is no such thing as demand wriiten in stone. Businesses create it and service it and then they find new markets.

Jesus - Joseph & Mary. What has happened to this country where we have the uneducated producing yet more of the breed. Hopefuly some like Iwillmakeit will seek advice from elders - take it on board and go on.

I fear however there is no hope whatsover for pompous arrogant wannabe's like the OP and we see all too many of them on this forum it is frightning.

 

[Scott-Copywriter]

thanks, you are the first person here to understand me. But it is not fair if the idea is mine to put the same amount of money for 50%, because I will be running the business because I have good leadership skills and cannot let someone without a track record to tell me what to do!
I cannot take orders and this is one of the reasons why I want to run my own business, don't want some business angel telling me what to do...

Don't take this offensively but the reason you can't take orders is because you come across as a bit of an immature prat.

Not being able to take orders is NOT a good trait to have when wanting to start a business. Just because you're so egotistical and can't accept authority from someone who knows what they're talking about, it seems like you think that's a good reason to start a business.

Let me tell you now that no matter what you do in future, in any kind of business, you will be told what to do. Sure you have more control over your own life, but the client is in control and the client is always right.

You have no experience on how to run a business and you have no leadership skills. I highly doubt you've ever led a serious business venture in your life. You have no experience in running a restaurant/business and you would much rather ignore anyone who knows what they're talking about.

If anything, your attitude/mindset proves that you have extremely poor leadership skills.

You know, I can understand a 15/16 year old having this attitude during GCSE business studies (I had a similar attitude when I was 12), but if you're near 20 and just completed your A-levels, I'm astounded you have such a mindset.

You having this 'idea' doesn't mean a thing. You're basically copying McDonalds and adding in a few minor twists which will barely many any difference to your sales. You're flying straight into a highly competitive area with no experience and no unique selling point.

If you think an investor is going to invest in YOU when it comes to making this business a success, you have another thing coming.

I better go to Dragons Den because I am sure they will give me the money, because my figures look something like that:
Year 1: £120 000 net profit (with just 1 reastuarant)
Year 2: £700 000 net profit (with 4 and economy of scale)
Year 3: £1 350 000 net profit (with 7 and 12 franchises)

So I will be able to raise £50 000 for just about 10% of the business cos they are rich and wouldn't care that much for £50 000... also I am a very proficient public speaker as for A levels I have done 6 presentations in front of not just 5 people like the dragons are but in front of the whole class of 23

That is hilarious. PLEASE try and go on Dragons Den, it would make my week.

Just because you've made up some figures it doesn't count for nothing. You have NO idea what kind of footfall or sales you will have.

Go and watch some episodes of Dragons Den and tell me if it looks like they happily hand over £50,000 for 10%. You're completely and utterly deluded.

 

[lesliedocherty]

he just called me a piece of **** in reply to my text, at least i get free texts

 

[The London Baron]

So it was you yesterday as well

I will teach you good, you mess with the wrong man!!!



To all the others, cut the crap. I will be back to the thread once I receive the investment from the dragons. Let see who will laugh after the real business people invest in my idea. I am qualified for the job because:
1. I will not let the wannabe employees steal money from the business.
2. I have education that speaks for itself.
3. My uncle has got a real business, not the online things you call a business. Why do Seo Experts and Web Designers think they are businessmen? To be a businessman you need to do more than just put a picture on the internet.
4. I will come back and post a picture with my contract with the Dragons. bye bye
5. I will be still overseen what is happening in here so do not think you can offend me without a comeback

he just called me a piece of **** in reply to my text, at least i get free texts

 

[*Lexxy*]

ah, i see. weekend release is now over & you've got to get back before they come looking for you, yes?

ok, well good luck with the Dragons & we'll see you again when you're a squillionaire with 50 restaurants.

bye

 

[ORDERED WEB]

To all the others, cut the crap. I will be back to the thread once IF I receive the investment from the dragons. Let see who will laugh after the real business people invest in my idea We are real business people.

I am qualified for the job because:
1. I will not let the wannabe employees steal money from the business.
Why does that qualify you for the job? Yes it is important, on a scale of 1-10, it is ranking at 0.5 for the things you need to be worrying about now. This point wont sell food, or ensure you have the cash to buy the food at the right times
2. I have education that speaks for itself.
And everyone else doesnt? I have 4 a'levels, 2 degrees, 2 HND's and several very hard to get diploma's, and they have no relevance to how i pitch for a job, or why somone would pick me over someone else for a job
3. My uncle has got a real business, not the online things you call a business. Why do Seo Experts and Web Designers think they are businessmen? To be a businessman you need to do more than just put a picture on the internet.
What does your uncle have to do with it? Does your uncle also have education (see point 2) you are both personalising yoru pitch, and then depersonalising it in 2 sentances. My uncle owns a huge building company, and my grandfather helped form Taylor Woodrow - does that mean i know anything about building, or deserve special attention, or know how to run a business - NO

You are asking people to invest in you, not your extended family

you asked about webdesigners being businessmen..
I happen to design websites. I swapped carrear to improve my work life balance. I didnt jsut wake up one day and become a photographer and designer - I planed the change, I have been designing sites for nearly as long as the internet has been arround. Before that I did Ceefax pages.

I also have 20 years of experience of running real bricks and mortar retail and manufacturing businesses. Often right at the top of the businesses management chain. Thats 20 years of very hard learnt management and business experience, I bring to my website customers. My wife has 25 years of experience of running her own (and other peoples) businesses, in a different sector. We work together. When we sit down with a business, we are bringing 45 years of "at the coal face" busines management experience with us to the table.. Exactly how many years of business experience are you bringing to the table?

And... by our own admision you dont know what a SEO is. So who are you to judge?

You mention "just putting a picture on the internet" I have a camera that costs more than most would care to spend on a car, and the lenses are a similar price. Forgetting that. Just putting a picture on the internet isnt going to drive business through your door. If webdesign was about just putting pictures on the internet, then I would never do it.. There is so much more to it. you analogy is like saying that being a mechanic is just a case of filling a car up with petrol. Develop your own site, i want a laugh

4. I will come back and post a picture with my contract with the Dragons.
bye bye. He who lives by the sword..
5. I will be still overseen what is happening in here so do not think you can offend me without a comeback
What on earth does that mean in educated english?

 

[Dawg]

I am qualified for the job because:
1. I will not let the wannabe employees steal money from the business.

If they are wannabes, (want to be), they won't be employees and so won't have any access to your businesses money, will they?

2. I have education that speaks for itself.

Yes, sadly, it does.

3. My uncle has got a real business, not the online things you call a business. ... To be a businessman you need to do more than just put a picture on the internet.

I'm sure Jeff Bezos would like to know.

4. I will come back and post a picture with my contract with the Dragons. bye bye

Kid, believing the Dragons do real business is like believing in the Tooth Fairy.

5. I will be still overseen what is happening in here so do not think you can offend me without a comeback

Yes. I'm sure you are 'ard, well 'ard. Respek. Gnarrff.

 

[Scott-Copywriter]

So it was you yesterday as well

I will teach you good, you mess with the wrong man!!!



To all the others, cut the crap. I will be back to the thread once I receive the investment from the dragons. Let see who will laugh after the real business people invest in my idea. I am qualified for the job because:
1. I will not let the wannabe employees steal money from the business.
2. I have education that speaks for itself.
3. My uncle has got a real business, not the online things you call a business. Why do Seo Experts and Web Designers think they are businessmen? To be a businessman you need to do more than just put a picture on the internet.
4. I will come back and post a picture with my contract with the Dragons. bye bye
5. I will be still overseen what is happening in here so do not think you can offend me without a comeback

I'm 70% convinced this is a joke now. It has to be surely? I really hope all of that taxpayers money hasn't been wasted giving you that A-level education.

Looking forward to seeing that picture and that contract. The form is at http://www.bbc.co.uk/dragonsden/apply/form.shtml, let us know how it goes.

 

[An Oasis]

THIS HAS TO BE A WIND UP GUYS. Why don't we show the OP what a laughing stock he has become.

I am out close the thread.

No, no, no!!!! Keep the thread open, it's the funniest thing I've read in ages. What ever pills TLB is popping I want a years supply.

 

[An Oasis]

BTW TLB is that a syrup in your Avi?

 

[Simon-M]

BTW TLB is that a syrup in your Avi?

That's his cat fluffy

 

[JGSG]

OP I don't have a B at A level business studies but I have owned, operated and consulted to major chains of fast food restaurants including most of the major franchises and I can tell you based on actual industry EXPERIENCE as someone qualified to tell you this... you are completely clueless and should give up now.