Hostility, B*tching and Nastiness

[DuaneJackson]

A few people recently have commented that we seem to be going through a b*tchy phase here at UKBF. From what I've seen, I tend to agree.

I don't know what's brought it on, but it's not on.

Can I please remind everyone this is a forum for constructive business advice.

Please bear in mind the following before posting:

1) It's not for criticising someones business model or website (unless they specifically ask for it).

2) Please try not to take threads off-topic, especially with frivolous oo-err missus banter (yes, I know I have been guilty of this too)

3) Being plain nasty to others reflects badly on you.

If we have to enforce the rules by giving out more infractions for people breaking rules (ie, being rude to others) then we will do.

 

[Alpha]

If we have to enforce the rules by giving out more infractions for people breaking rules (ie, being rude to others) then we will do.

And be very wary as it looks like you get banned if we give an infraction at the moment (Unless some ghost in the works was just after Ling)

 

[360interactive]

Agree with Duane, people who use forums often think they can say what they like, as they never actually get to meet the individual.

If some of the comments that are posted on here were ever said face to face............

 

[Dave.F]

A few people recently have commented that we seem to be going through a b*tchy phase here at UKBF. From what I've seen, I tend to agree.

I don't know what's brought it on,

I wounder if it is because people/members businesses, are not as busy as they would like (used to be) and now have spare time, plus they are anxious about their future:|

Or plain jealous of other members/competitors success:|

Any other ideas/suggestions?

 

[An Oasis]

That said there is a difference between a heated discussions, which gets resolved as opposed to some of the moronic threads that we have had of late. If you are going to argue then either put up fight and listen or don't bother.

 

[debbidoo]

Agree with Duane, people who use forums often think they can say what they like, as they never actually get to meet the individual.

If some of the comments that are posted on here were ever said face to face............

Agreed, though there is a difference, in that in a face to face situation you can read tone of voice and body language - on a forum, you can't, and if you're having a crummy day it's easy to take offence to something that you would otherwise recognise as being a lighthearted comment.

Some people do have a tendency to come across as agressive even when they're typing with a smile on their face - that's a communication issue, and not necessarily out-and-out nastiness.

It's very easy to forget that this is a public forum, which means that anything you say here under your company name is on Google almost instantly and can reflect very badly on your business.

Personally, I try hard to be aware of this when I post here. Not because I have a tendency to be sarcastic or nasty - I am just as smiley and daft in real life as I am here - but because I have a tendency to ask stupid questions without thinking them through, or make statements without really explaining them properly And that tendency has led to some sarcastic comments from other members, regrettably, but that's my own fault for putting myself in that situation, I think

Anyhoo, that's my two penn'orth, for what it's worth. Just remember that whatever you say on UKBF is there for the world to see, and if you're signing off with a link to your website or your company name, your business may be judged by the way you conduct yourself here.

Debs

 

[Gillie]

I am soooo glad that come tomorrow morning, I am on a flight across the water and won't be taking my laptop, and won't be logging on to the forum for a couple of days!!

Its getting silly season!!

 

[LINGsCARS]

On a serious note, why not consider a "soft-room" area where these gentle and innocent posts can be viewed?

 

[360interactive]

Debbie has it spot on, I am often surprised by some of the comments that are written, with their company name right below it....

 

[sm1]

Hence the reason I don't have my company name here

 

[Excel Expert]

I have to say I have experienced nothing but friendly advice with maybe a small pinch of humour. Thats why I paid up and joined.

 

[Alison Jones]

I think I must be unobservant as I have not noticed anything you have mentioned.

Alison

 

[DuaneJackson]

I wounder if it is because people/members businesses, are not as busy as they would like (used to be) and now have spare time, plus they are anxious about their future:|

That was my theory too.

Any other ideas/suggestions?

Yep. I blame Ling : ). She's a big character and a lot of people look up to her because of her DD appearence. People see her being forthright and antagonisitc, as is her way, and then imitate her or join in. The "Sycophants and mini-Lings" theory.

That said there is a difference between a heated discussions, which gets resolved as opposed to some of the moronic threads that we have had of late. If you are going to argue then either put up fight and listen or don't bother.

Exactly. Look at the Mind of God thread. The most controversial subject possible - mainly dealt with intelligently and maturely.

Heated debate and disagreement is what makes this place interesting. Bullying, hostility and nastiness is what makes unattractive.

 

[LINGsCARS]

I think I must be unobservant as I have not noticed anything you have mentioned.

Alison

I have noticed a degree of ambiguity creeping into posts so you never quite know what they refer to.

 

[Bathead]

Using Ling as an example I reckon she is as blunt and loud as they come, which as far as i'm concerned is great. I look forward to logging on now.

However i've used other forums and not UKBF over recent months because I cant stand the snidey stabbings that seem to happen A LOT. Any sign of weakness, any opportune moment someone will come in and start stirring or knocking another member and their business. It's just a load of willy waving to me by idiots who should not be so in love with their own egos.

The thing with Ling is that she is actually constructive - not nasty.

 

[Gillie]

Using Ling as an example I reckon she is as blunt and loud as they come, which as far as i'm concerned is great. I look forward to logging on now.

However i've used other forums and not UKBF over recent months because I cant stand the snidey stabbings that seem to happen A LOT. Any sign of weakness, any opportune moment someone will come in and start stirring or knocking another member and their business. It's just a load of willy waving to me by idiots who should not be so in love with their own egos.

The thing with Ling is that she is actually constructive - not nasty.

Mick .... you have been away for a while is all I can say!! As dear Ling got a telling off tonight for being abusive!

 

[Tin]

Bang on the button Duane! It's clear to me that a very small number of members think that they can repeatedly get away with slinging personal insults to others which are neither welcome or warranted. These comments often border on verbal abuse and it's simply not acceptable. These same members would not conduct themselves this way in person and I see no acceptable reason why they should be allowed to do so here.

This is a business forum - it's really time some members pulled their necks in and thought how they'd feel if the boot were on the other foot!

NB: This is a purely personal, members only, point of view without the constraints of my mod's hat (Oh, how it itches sometimes)

Ray

 

[DuaneJackson]

However i've used other forums and not UKBF over recent months because I cant stand the snidey stabbings that seem to happen A LOT. Any sign of weakness, any opportune moment someone will come in and start stirring or knocking another member and their business. It's just a load of willy waving to me by idiots who should not be so in love with their own egos.

Someone buy that man a drink. Spot on.

The thing with Ling is that she is actually constructive - not nasty.

Usually, yes. And humorous. But she (sorry, speaking about you as if you're not here!) does step over the mark too often. A new member being told he is asking a stupid question and that he is an idiot isn't acceptable.

 

[360interactive]

Any sign of weakness, any opportune moment someone will come in and start stirring or knocking another member and their business. It's just a load of willy waving to me by idiots who should not be so in love with their own egos.

The problem is, this is what ling DOES. But Ling doesn't have a willy!

 

Afraid its just the boiling pot of human nature.

I don't see a lot of it in the main,just seems that the nasties get pretty nasty.

There are always going to be people who take a dislike to an individual and will go gunning for them and try to whip up others to join there cause.

Just make sure you have a good tail gunner.

always amazes me how people can be so affected by what someone on a forum decides to write about them.?

Earl

 

[DuaneJackson]

Your most coherent post for some time, SurrEal! (I only said that so Alpha can try his "banning a mod" theory)

 

[estwig]

Afraid its just the boiling pot of human nature.

I don't see a lot of it in the main,just seems that the nasties get pretty nasty.

There are always going to be people who take a dislike to an individual and will go gunning for them and try to whip up others to join there cause.

Just make sure you have a good tail gunner.

always amazes me how people can be so affected by what someone on a forum decides to write about them.?

Earl

This is a forum, it's the interweb, wake up, grow a thicker skin and smell the Tea!!!

We don't do coffee, if you drink coffee then you are a girl!!!

 

[estwig]

I was agreeing with surreal!!!

 

[who_me]

Surely if someone’s comments become offensive there are enough outspoken people on this site to redress the balance.

If you truly feel that individuals have breeched your rules then they should be informed directly. I know personally that I would like to know if I have crossed a line, no matter how unwittingly?

Written text can often be taken out of context… I know this because like many business men and women I am direct and lack sensitivity but I realise that this often leads to people that are not surrounded by directness read into something that isn’t there.

I am left wondering exactly how fluffy my post are expected to be :|

P.S If you have any complaints about me please direct them to my company of which I am an employee and they will investigate (and subsequently sack me for going on forums in working hours )

 

[elaine@cheapaccounting]

Ok - I must have missed it all yet again.

I never notice this but mainly hang out in the accounts forum.

Mind you Duane a bit 'pot calling' after what you said to me today:

http://www.ukbusinessforums.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?p=675139#post675139

Tee hee

 

[Bathead]

Mick .... you have been away for a while is all I can say!! As dear Ling got a telling off tonight for being abusive!

yeah I know. I think Ling is reasonably transparent, you see what you get. What I don't like are all those other posts, we all know the one's over the past few months.

Not saying Ling should not have been warned mind.

 

[DuaneJackson]

Surely if someone's comments become offensive there are enough outspoken people on this site to redress the balance.

Then it just devolves into a slanging match and puts of newcomers from using the forum.

If you truly feel that individuals have breeched your rules then they should be informed directly. I know personally that I would like to know if I have crossed a line, no matter how unwittingly?

They are.

No need to be fluffy,just not rude or offensive. There is gray between the black and white.

Mind you Duane a bit 'pot calling' after what you said to me today:

http://www.ukbusinessforums.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?p=675139#post675139

Tee hee

That was just me being community spirited. Help the aged and all that. I'd do the same for Keith if I saw him hanging out on the forums looking lost and confused.

 

[estwig]

I see pick on the builder is it???

I'll have the lotta ya!!!!

Poofs!!!

 

[who_me]

No need to be fluffy,just not rude or offensive. There is gray between the black and white.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

[An Oasis]

...I never notice this but mainly hang out in the accounts forum.

:|Where?:|

 

[Blush]

This all happened a while back too didn't it? I remember staying away for quite some time, them I popped back and found it all over again!!
I haven't seen any of ling's post, she mustn't have been here before.
But it is a full moon tonight

 

[estwig]

:|Where?:|

The accounts bit, they talk about <lowers voice to a trembling whisper> HMRC and VAT.

Scary!!!!

 

[elaine@cheapaccounting]

The accounts bit, they talk about <lowers voice to a trembling whisper> HMRC and VAT.

Scary!!!!

:|Where?:|

Yeah I know I need to get a life

 

[elaine@cheapaccounting]

That was just me being community spirited. Help the aged and all that. I'd do the same for Keith if I saw him hanging out on the forums looking lost and confused.

Thanks - will you get my shopping for me then, clean my car, mow the lawn .....

 

[estwig]

I would like to offer in the interests of peace and harmony for the forum, that if you have any feelings of......

Hostility, B*tching and Nastiness



Here I am, I'm a big lad, give to me, go on you know you wanna?????

 

[Tej]

That said there is a difference between a heated discussions, which gets resolved as opposed to some of the moronic threads that we have had of late. If you are going to argue then either put up fight and listen or don't bother.

Could not agree more. This is an adult forum after all, and surely "rude or "offensive" is a matter of perception IMHO.

 

[An Oasis]

The accounts bit, they talk about <lowers voice to a trembling whisper> HMRC and VAT.

Don't be disgusting!

 

Usually, yes. And humorous. But she (sorry, speaking about you as if you're not here!) does step over the mark too often. A new member being told he is asking a stupid question and that he is an idiot isn't acceptable.

I think its dispicable picking on the mentally impaired .Ling is not familiar with our culture and customs.

And is hardly able to speak English.

And is probably just trying to get a bit of revenge for what a lot of Hairy Ars*d Englishmen did to here people many moons ago.

I think a bit of tolerance is called for here.

I would not treat a dumb animal in such a way.

Earl

 

[deniser]

I think I have missed all of this too - this forum is generally a nice place and very funny. I sometimes have tears of laughter streaming down my cheeks.

People have taken the odd swipe at me from time to time but I just ignore it - that way it can't turn into anything.

If it is really bad, then others will leap to your defence as has already been mentioned.

 

[RLD Plastering and Tiling Services]

as someone who had some petty squabbling the other night on here , i would like to think that as adults we could just put it down to experience and learn from it. If members do have issues with certain individuals why not just ignore any threads they've posted. I'm sure most people on here do not mean anything nasty by there posts sometimes it might just be they've had a bad day at the office