First time - please criticize

[dctrpl]

Hi everyone - hope you're all enjoying December so far and getting rady for Xmas in a profitable way.

We just launched our first proper e-product with its first proper sales page and we would be grateful for any kind of feedback on our efforts.

We're selling The Great Christmas Party Quiz Game which gives you all you need to run an amazing Quiz Party for a Christmas party - whether for an office aprty or a family party.

The sales page is at www.reindeerquiz.co.uk

Please let me know what you think...

 

[YODspica]

the font style could be improved, the title headers all seem a bit dull.

 

[silvermusic]

Some jazzing up using graphics with the normal Christmas fare would look better, Christmas trees, Santa, etc.

I'm no copywriter but the headlines could maybe do with a bit of reworking, they're a bit repetitive. As an idea...

Bored with dull Christmas parties?

Then host your own unique Christmas Party Quiz instead.

A great ice-breaker to get everyone in the Christmas mood that's quick and easy to put on, keeps guests happy for hours and makes your party the place to be this Christmas.

Maybe i've missed my vocation in life.

Not sure why you need the product picture and link to purchase five times, makes the page far too long to scroll down. It could all be tightend up to cover no more than two pages of scrolling.

 

[TotallySport]

I looks like a scam site to me!!!

There is two much white space at the top and when not seperate the pages, all that scrolling is simply odd.

Oh and at first glance I still don't really know what your selling.

 

[dctrpl]

Thanks everyone - will certainly consider these points. Thanks to Silvermusic for copywriting skills!

 

[My Owl 1]

Could be a bit more interactive. I agree with another poster could be preceived as a scam.

Good luck with it anyway

Avril

 

[dynamic08]

£30 for a download. Blimey

 

[dctrpl]

Thanks Avril. We sought to avoid interactivity but are open to suggestions. What do you think would work without distracting the prospect from the task in hand of sorting out their xmas party?

Hi dynamic: £30 to sort your Christmas party out - that's not bad and there's a hell of a lot of work in it. I take it you think the price is too steep? We didn't want to make the mistake of being too cheap...

 

[Dawg]

Yeah £30 for a download is ambitious. Especially when the site looks a bit Mickey, there are no trust areas, things that inspire confidence that you are going to get anything but a rehash of a pub quiz book for £30.
And, despite the fact that it is a download, that box needs work doing: if you are going to have a mock up, (which I think you should), it should be a good one. With the corners finished, the type all sharp, maybe even some designer-y elements rather than being wrapped in Woolies paper.

 

[silvermusic]

"Download and open the box. Print and prepare what you need. Begin to play!"

Must admit I didn't spot that bit on first read, I was assuming you'd get everything provided in the box that you show. I suspect I wouldn't be the only one to make that assumption too, which could lead to all sorts of problems. As you have to provide your own pens, paper, printer ink, CD then I think you're going to have a tough time selling it.

Quiz question books are readily available, the rest could be done by anyone with basic PC knowledge. I'm struggling to see what a pre-packaged version has going for it apart from the time saving.

 

[martin@cc]

that reminds me I need to sort our Xmas party out !

 

[dctrpl]

Thanks dawg

Can you expand on what you mean by "trust areas". Perhaps you could point me the way of some best-practice examples.

And if £30 is ambitious, what do you reckon?

Silvermusic - We're aiming at promoting these benefits:
1. time-saving - as you mention
2. it's more than a quiz book - these are properly formatted quiz games that will work at a party.

Perhaps we don't shout these benefits clearly enough...?

 

[Videoguy]

The site looks a bit bland to me. I agree with the earlier post you really need some Christmassy graphics -- a header with Father Christmas on his sleigh and some Christmas trees -- that sort of thing. The copy needs some work too, as does the headline. You're also asking for the sale way too soon. I don't think 30 quid is too much, but you've got to show people what they're getting (have some screenshots or photo of the printouts) and build the customers' expectations and make them believe it's so loaded with value it's worth every penny.

I didn't notice a guarantee. PayPal will insist you give people their money back within 60 days of purchase anyway, so you might as well make a virtue of it: "I guarantee you'll have a Christmas party to remember, or I'll give you your money back in the New Year!" That sort of thing.

 

[dynamic08]

For £30 I can pop into woolies or argos and by something that is put into my hand.

For £30 on your site i get a set of instructions on how to print. Come down to £10 me thinks.

 

[dctrpl]

First of all, thanks to everyone who looked and took the time to pass comment.

We've spent a bit of time trying to improve things and would be interested to see what you thoguht of the changes?

since posting here, we have chnaged:

1. added xmassy graphics (some holly and left it at that - didn't want to go overboard)
2. added trust point: 30 day guarantee badge
3. added a video - gives it a more personal touch as it uses a voice and hopefully gives a clearer idea of what the product is.
4. added coupons - we have sent out coupons to people and tried to incentivize their use - the coupon gets £10 off the (new) price
5. changed the price. We DO think the product is worth the money but yeah £30 for a download - we can understand it seems steep. Changed it to £25 and expect to sell many with a coupon - so £15.

We also bothered to check what the site looked like in Internet Explorer - oops! - should have done that first, eh? Now it looks a bit tidier (the body text was roundabout size 22px for some reason)...

So, I would love to hear what you think of our changes and where you tihnk we're still missing the mark.

Happy Xmas!

Dr Paul

 

[redgrape1985]

All you need is an asthetically please font and colour, apart from that nice site. does exactly what it says on the tin

 

[dctrpl]

Thanks qpj

Everything's in verdana - no one seems to like it?????????

And the colours are pretty simple: no complex hex codes much beyond "red","green". What are you thinking? Darker?

 

[limotek]

Hi everyone - hope you're all enjoying December so far and getting rady for Xmas in a profitable way.

We just launched our first proper e-product with its first proper sales page and we would be grateful for any kind of feedback on our efforts.

We're selling The Great Christmas Party Quiz Game which gives you all you need to run an amazing Quiz Party for a Christmas party - whether for an office aprty or a family party.

The sales page is at www.reindeerquiz.co.uk

Please let me know what you think...

The price is a bit high with the credit crunch, why not give discounts as its only a few days till christmas.