Advice for dealing with workplace bullies?

[Visfor]

Hello all,

I've set up a temporary account, as the nature of this thread is fairly sensitive. For the last 2 years I've been running my own business, so I am a bit out of the loop. Also, apologies in advance for the lengthy thread, please stick with it, as I am really desperate to get answers on this.

My long-term girlfriend is experiencing difficulties at work with some of her colleagues. She has been with the business just shy of a year.

When she started, everything was great. There was one colleague (let's call her Wilma) who immediately took a dislike to her, but hey-ho, she got on with it; everybody else was quite nice, so it didn't bother her much. But after about 2 months, Wilma and another colleague (call her Daphne), who was previously very friendly with my girlfriend, started to be openly quite rude and condescending towards my girlfriend. Criticising her for being well-mannered/spoken, always getting on with her work and not really engaging in loads of gossip about other members of staff (she is a very sweet, non-confrontational, happy-go-lucky girl who genuinely engages with, and loves people).

It is also worth mentioning that all 3 women answer to the same line manager (call him James), who according to what my girlfriend has witnessed over the year, has an inappropriately close relationship with Daphne.

Anyway, long story short, after one particularly nasty interaction between Daphne and my girlfriend, witnessed by another member of staff (call her Dorothy, who consoled my girlfriend and asked her if she wanted her to step in and say something), Daphne decided to complain to management about my girlfriend. She claimed my girlfriend was causing trouble in the office and had refused to do her job (accusations which are completely contrary to my girlfriend's character).

After this James was tasked with carrying out some fact finding, and Wilma corroborated everything Daphne had said, using the opportunity to stick the knife in herself (even though at the time of the event, Wilma was on annual leave). Dorothy, who witnessed the actual event, was also questioned and backed up my girlfriend's version of events which was that she has been subject to bullying from both Daphne and Wilma (Dorothy, by the way, sits in the same office but is completely neutral most of the time).

When James reported back to upper management, he sided with Daphne and Wilma's version of events. When my girlfriend challenged him (rare for her to have the courage) about what Dorothy had said, he said she had corroborated with Wilma and Daphne story (an outright lie, confirmed after the fact when my girlfriend spoke to Dorothy about it, Dorothy was outraged). For this, my girlfriend was branded a trouble-maker by upper management, who then for some reason took the opportunity to attack her on a very personal level. When she told me what had happened I was so shocked and outraged, I was planning to go with her the next day to confront her management (she begged me not to however, and I unwillingly obliged).

Ever since, my girlfriend has had no where to turn, the bullying has gotten worse because Daphne and Wilma know they can get away with it, even in front of James. This has now been going on for months.

The final straw, and the reason I am writing this post, was when my girlfriend stepped out of the office, she overheard Daphne, James and Wilma talking about her. They were saying they knew she was unhappy but didn't know why she wouldn't leave the company. James mentioned that he had spoken to upper management about it, and none of them knew how to get her out.

This to me is an admission, that they are trying to bully me girlfriend into quitting. But the truth is, she can't, she needs the money. They have been making her life hell just to get her to quit. It's breaking my heart watching her go through this and we don't know what to do.

I want to approach this properly and legally, so any and all advice is very much appreciated.

 

[STDFR33]

The people in the business are toxic. You aren't going to be able to change that.

I would do everything asked and with a smile and look for alternative employment. Yes, she shouldn't have to, but that's the only realistic solution to this.

 

[Mr D]

Appears they want her out.

Her or them. And be harder to force them out than leave herself.

 

[RobinBHM]

But the truth is, she can't

Are there no other jobs around of that type.

No amount of money is worth the damage of working in a toxic bullying environment.

I know it may feel they have won, but sometimes its best just to cut your losses.

Could you both survive financially if she just left and got another lower paid job.

Happyness trumps money every time.

Do a budget and see what is possible.

Weighnit up against a tribunal where your girfriend may face any dirt thrown at her that can be made up. Bullying is often difficult to prove -even passive aggressive bullying is unpleasant.

 

[Newchodge]

She can raise a formal grievance , but the time to do that was when James lied about Dorothy's statement. She can go sick with work related stress, if she is struggling to cope, and may later have a personal injury claim against the company. She can look for another job or she can just get on with it. she should keep a detailed diary of every incident. What happened, who was present etc. She may ahve a chance to use it one dy, but she probably won't.

There is nothing she can do, legally.

 

[Visfor]

Thanks all for the comments. Pretty much summing up how we both feel about the situation already. I know it's petty, but I'd really like to stick it to them all in some way. My girlfriend is so lovely, and she really wouldn't hurt a fly, it's just so frustrating.

We've been looking around for similar jobs this evening and have found one in the neighbouring town. So it looks like she may have an option to get out of there after all...

I am on the cusp of much healthier financial times within my business and my girlfriend has been pushing hard to leave the 9-5 to pursue her own business, since before this began anyway. So hopefully something gives and she'll be able to walk away from that awful place soon.

I suggested after she finally leaves, she may wish to leave a Glassdoor review for the company. As I feel that this kind of systemic toxicity is worth warning future candidates about.

 

[Lucan Unlordly]

has an inappropriately close relationship with Daphne.

Is blackmail an option?

 

[Visfor]

Hi all,

There has been a rather significant development.

Today, midway through the morning, my girlfriend was called into a meeting room by James, who handed her a letter stating they were ending her contract with immediate effect.

She asked if he meant at the end of the day, but he quite curtly told her "no, now." He then got up and left her in the meeting room without so much as a goodbye.

The most frustrating thing about this is that my girlfriend had been very diligent, and had worked her socks off to get ahead in her job. Making sure things would run smoothly for months in advance, now they have just fired her for - and these are his words - 'creating a dull atmosphere in the office'. Since when was that a valid reason to fire someone?

Wilma and Daphne were sharing knowing glances and smirks with one another as my girlfriend gathered her belongings to leave. No one said goodbye to her, and she left in silence.

What a rotten end, to a rotten time, at a rotten company.

Please can someone tell me if the above sounds in any way lawful or not? Because I am absolutely bewildered by the whole thing. How can it be right that my girlfriend is bullied and shunned by her immediate colleagues, and to some extent line manager, then fired because 'she' has created an atmosphere in the office?

 

[Visfor]

Is blackmail an option?

That would be my approach, but my girlfriend would be dismayed by that

 

[Newchodge]

She doesn't have 2 years' service. She hasn't been sacked because she has a protected characterstic. Lawful. And Awful

 

[Lucan Unlordly]

That would be my approach, but my girlfriend would be dismayed by that

My blackmail post was somewhat tongue in cheek, but if one holds the belief that wronguns will eventually get their deserved comeuppance, the discreet sharing of some indiscreet information can often speed up the process.

 

[Chris Ashdown]

I would be inclined to write a letter to the managing director and copied to all other directors, stating all that has been going on just for there information, not to get the job back or anything, just to let the person at the top know the facts

Maybe its only a small company and james boss is the top man/women in which case its pointless

 

[Visfor]

She doesn't have 2 years' service. She hasn't been sacked because she has a protected characterstic. Lawful. And Awful

Thanks for letting me know. I'm just so shocked and saddened for her.

The company never made an attempt to reconcile the situation. They just let it happen until they'd got what they needed, then sacked her on the spot with a weeks' money to find a new job. Disgusting.

 

[ecommerce84]

I know what I’d do if I was in your girlfriends shoes.

Hot bath, a couple of beers and an Indian takeaway.

Then I’d try and put the whole thing behind me and move on. Some workplaces are toxic and you’ll never change it and if you don’t fit in they’ll drive you out eventually if they haven’t pushed you out of the door in the meantime.

She is so much better off not working there.

Oh and there are websites where you can leave reviews about what it’s like to work at companies - they might be worth a look. I’d certainly be grateful if the heads up if I was looking at joining them.

 

[Visfor]

I know what I’d do if I was in your girlfriends shoes.

Hot bath, a couple of beers and an Indian takeaway.

Haha we had that last night as it goes!

Yes, I'll definitely be advising her to leave a review on the various websites about the appalling consequences of working for such a company. Because there is only about 30 or so staff at the company, it will be very obvious who left the review

In the end, this thread will just have to serve as a stark reminder that the world isn't perfect, there are some nasty people out there.

I just sincerely hope that no other unfortunate soul ends up there, in the same situation as my girlfriend. But if they do, that they find this thread and realise, they aren't alone!

 

[Visfor]

I would be inclined to write a letter to the managing director and copied to all other directors, stating all that has been going on just for there information, not to get the job back or anything, just to let the person at the top know the facts

Maybe its only a small company and james boss is the top man/women in which case its pointless

Very flat structure, top boss is just above James. So he would've known all about it.

My girlfriend even stopped in the hallway to have a chat with the boss - just prior to James calling her in - she asked him how his holiday was and they apparently very pleasant conversation. Turns out he'd speaking to recruiters all morning, she just didn't realise he was going to be replacing her...