- Original Poster
- #1
Two Irish builders are working hard one day on their building site. Every morning, Paddy (the slightly more intellectual builder) gets up, has his shower, has his shave, and goes through to the kitchen to meet his beautiful wife.
His wife (who has made herself presentable 30 minutes before Paddy even bothered to get up) has already set out his breakfast and a packed-lunch for him to take to work. Every morning, Paddy gives his wife a tender loving kiss on the neck and sits down to his tea and toast. As soon as he's finished his toast, his wife takes his empty plate away and replaces it with a bowl of Flakes of Corn (for copyright reasons, we can't say Cornflakes!).
At the other end of the small village in which the two Irish builders live, Mick is just stirring. His wife, already up and ready to leave the house to take the kids to school, is shouting at him from downstairs to "get yer ar*e in gear!"
At about 8.30am, Mick rises from his pit, gets a quick shower and shave, and comes downstairs for his breakfast. By this time, his wife has since left the house, taking with her the only umbrella the own. On the plus side however, she has been kind enough to make him a bowl of Flakes of Bran (yes, you know why!) and his packed-lunch too.
Once Mick has finished his breakfast, he grabs his lunch and his hard-hat, and jumps in his car for his 20-minute drive to work. Upon signing in at the front gate, he gathers his high-visibility jacket from the cloakroom and meets Paddy at the top of the scaffolding.
Paddy, a man of many talents, has already been ready at the top of the scaffolding to start work for ten minutes. He has waited patiently for Mick to arrive.
This scaffolding is like no other. The new Town-Hall has been given a fantastic face-lift by some eccentric designer whose only two colour-schemes are Yellow-Red or Red-Yellow. Paddy and Mick have a regular laugh about the monstrosity that they're building, but at the end of the day, are happy to oblige - seeing as they're paid a reasonable wage (even if it is in Euros!).
At lunch-time, the horn blows, and both men grab their lunch-boxes. Like synchronised clock-work they both pick up their boxes and walk to the edge of the building. They sit down, legs dangling over the side, and eat their lunch whilst watching the traffic and people pass below.
"Ach Mick, this sure is a fine view up here ain't it?" says Paddy, on that regular repetitive basis.
"For goodness sake Paddy, you say this every lunch-time, and every lunch-time I agree with you. Aye, it sure is!" retorts Mick.
"So…" but Paddy is cut off before he has a chance to finish his sentence.
"Don't tell me… What have I got today for lunch?" Questions Mick, knowing exactly what Paddy was going to ask.
The two men compare lunch (like they do every day without fail), and swap their biscuits (like they do every day without fail).
"You know Mick, it would be so much easier if we just swapped wives, rather than swapping lunch all the time!" joked Paddy.
"Aye pal, it sure would. You don't see me complaining though, I'm quite fond of a ham and cheese sandwich so I am."
Every day, Mick gets a ham and cheese sandwich which he throws down his neck faster than a starving seagull. Paddy on the other hand has Tuna, he eats it, but doesn't really like it anymore - after all, for the past three weeks that's all he's had in his lunch-box.
The next day Paddy gets up, has his shower, has his shave, and goes through to the kitchen to meet his beautiful wife. Today, she's not standing waiting on him to kiss her, but she's sitting at the table reading a letter. Paddy asks what it is and his wife explains that it's just an electricity bill.
Paddy sits down next to his wife who has by now finished reading the bill, and starts eating his toast. As soon as he's finished his toast, his wife takes his empty plate away and replaces it with a bowl of Flakes of Corn (oh yes!).
Back in Mick's house, he's just stirring again, and his wife is shouting up that she's leaving to do the school-run. Again, she has been kind enough to make him a bowl of Flakes of Bran (it just gets better!) and his packed-lunch too.
Once Mick has finished his breakfast, he grabs his lunch and his hard-hat, and jumps in his car for his 20-minute drive to work. Upon signing in at the front gate, he gathers his high-visibility jacket from the cloakroom and meets Paddy at the top of the scaffolding.
Paddy, that man of many talents, has yet again been ready at the top of the scaffolding to start work for ten minutes. Mick, like usual, can't believe he's been beaten again.
At 12.30pm on the dot, the horn goes to signify lunch and both men grab their lunch-boxes. Like synchronised clock-work they pick up their boxes and walk to the edge of the building - which is now an extra story high! They sit down, legs dangling over the side, and eat their lunch whilst watching the traffic and people pass below.
Once they've finished their lunch, Paddy turns around and sees a large pile of red bricks sitting up against the wall. Mick also turns round and sees the designers contrasting scheme of beautiful colours and spots the yellow bricks piled up against the wall.
"You know Paddy, I bet you ten euros that I could pick up one of those bricks and throw it higher than you could!" challenged Mick.
"Yer talking rubbish Mick. There's absolutely no way you could do that, I tell you, no way!"
"alright then" says Mick, "lets have a go then shall we?"
"Yer on Mick!" retorts Paddy.
The two men get up and walk over to the pile of bricks. Paddy lifts up a red brick and Mick a yellow brick. Paddy walks slowly to the edge of the building and looks down.
"Oh dear, it's a long way down Mick! I don't want to accidentally fall off the edge!"
"Don't be a sissy" says Mick, "just get on with it and take a beating like a real man!"
Not to be the kind that gets discouraged, Paddy takes a few steps back, red brick in his hand, and then runs to the end of the building and launches it high into the air.
The red brick goes up and up and up. Then it slowly turns, losing acceleration, before plummeting back down towards the ground.
The red brick zips right past Paddy and Mick, and they run right to the edge of the scaffolding to watch it fall towards the pavement.
The red brick hits the ground with a large "THUMP!" and a small cloud of dust puffs around the fallen brick.
Mick starts to s****** and tosses his yellow brick from his left hand to his right hand and then back again.
He takes the yellow brick in his dominant hand (which, by the way, is his right).
Mick takes seven steps back away from the edge of the scaffolding and then runs as fast as he can towards it.
Just before he hits the metal safety rail, he launches the yellow brick high up into the air.
The yellow brick goes up….
And the yellow brick goes up….
And up…
And up…
And up.
Hehehehehe! Don't you just love it?
hehehe!
His wife (who has made herself presentable 30 minutes before Paddy even bothered to get up) has already set out his breakfast and a packed-lunch for him to take to work. Every morning, Paddy gives his wife a tender loving kiss on the neck and sits down to his tea and toast. As soon as he's finished his toast, his wife takes his empty plate away and replaces it with a bowl of Flakes of Corn (for copyright reasons, we can't say Cornflakes!).
At the other end of the small village in which the two Irish builders live, Mick is just stirring. His wife, already up and ready to leave the house to take the kids to school, is shouting at him from downstairs to "get yer ar*e in gear!"
At about 8.30am, Mick rises from his pit, gets a quick shower and shave, and comes downstairs for his breakfast. By this time, his wife has since left the house, taking with her the only umbrella the own. On the plus side however, she has been kind enough to make him a bowl of Flakes of Bran (yes, you know why!) and his packed-lunch too.
Once Mick has finished his breakfast, he grabs his lunch and his hard-hat, and jumps in his car for his 20-minute drive to work. Upon signing in at the front gate, he gathers his high-visibility jacket from the cloakroom and meets Paddy at the top of the scaffolding.
Paddy, a man of many talents, has already been ready at the top of the scaffolding to start work for ten minutes. He has waited patiently for Mick to arrive.
This scaffolding is like no other. The new Town-Hall has been given a fantastic face-lift by some eccentric designer whose only two colour-schemes are Yellow-Red or Red-Yellow. Paddy and Mick have a regular laugh about the monstrosity that they're building, but at the end of the day, are happy to oblige - seeing as they're paid a reasonable wage (even if it is in Euros!).
At lunch-time, the horn blows, and both men grab their lunch-boxes. Like synchronised clock-work they both pick up their boxes and walk to the edge of the building. They sit down, legs dangling over the side, and eat their lunch whilst watching the traffic and people pass below.
"Ach Mick, this sure is a fine view up here ain't it?" says Paddy, on that regular repetitive basis.
"For goodness sake Paddy, you say this every lunch-time, and every lunch-time I agree with you. Aye, it sure is!" retorts Mick.
"So…" but Paddy is cut off before he has a chance to finish his sentence.
"Don't tell me… What have I got today for lunch?" Questions Mick, knowing exactly what Paddy was going to ask.
The two men compare lunch (like they do every day without fail), and swap their biscuits (like they do every day without fail).
"You know Mick, it would be so much easier if we just swapped wives, rather than swapping lunch all the time!" joked Paddy.
"Aye pal, it sure would. You don't see me complaining though, I'm quite fond of a ham and cheese sandwich so I am."
Every day, Mick gets a ham and cheese sandwich which he throws down his neck faster than a starving seagull. Paddy on the other hand has Tuna, he eats it, but doesn't really like it anymore - after all, for the past three weeks that's all he's had in his lunch-box.
The next day Paddy gets up, has his shower, has his shave, and goes through to the kitchen to meet his beautiful wife. Today, she's not standing waiting on him to kiss her, but she's sitting at the table reading a letter. Paddy asks what it is and his wife explains that it's just an electricity bill.
Paddy sits down next to his wife who has by now finished reading the bill, and starts eating his toast. As soon as he's finished his toast, his wife takes his empty plate away and replaces it with a bowl of Flakes of Corn (oh yes!).
Back in Mick's house, he's just stirring again, and his wife is shouting up that she's leaving to do the school-run. Again, she has been kind enough to make him a bowl of Flakes of Bran (it just gets better!) and his packed-lunch too.
Once Mick has finished his breakfast, he grabs his lunch and his hard-hat, and jumps in his car for his 20-minute drive to work. Upon signing in at the front gate, he gathers his high-visibility jacket from the cloakroom and meets Paddy at the top of the scaffolding.
Paddy, that man of many talents, has yet again been ready at the top of the scaffolding to start work for ten minutes. Mick, like usual, can't believe he's been beaten again.
At 12.30pm on the dot, the horn goes to signify lunch and both men grab their lunch-boxes. Like synchronised clock-work they pick up their boxes and walk to the edge of the building - which is now an extra story high! They sit down, legs dangling over the side, and eat their lunch whilst watching the traffic and people pass below.
Once they've finished their lunch, Paddy turns around and sees a large pile of red bricks sitting up against the wall. Mick also turns round and sees the designers contrasting scheme of beautiful colours and spots the yellow bricks piled up against the wall.
"You know Paddy, I bet you ten euros that I could pick up one of those bricks and throw it higher than you could!" challenged Mick.
"Yer talking rubbish Mick. There's absolutely no way you could do that, I tell you, no way!"
"alright then" says Mick, "lets have a go then shall we?"
"Yer on Mick!" retorts Paddy.
The two men get up and walk over to the pile of bricks. Paddy lifts up a red brick and Mick a yellow brick. Paddy walks slowly to the edge of the building and looks down.
"Oh dear, it's a long way down Mick! I don't want to accidentally fall off the edge!"
"Don't be a sissy" says Mick, "just get on with it and take a beating like a real man!"
Not to be the kind that gets discouraged, Paddy takes a few steps back, red brick in his hand, and then runs to the end of the building and launches it high into the air.
The red brick goes up and up and up. Then it slowly turns, losing acceleration, before plummeting back down towards the ground.
The red brick zips right past Paddy and Mick, and they run right to the edge of the scaffolding to watch it fall towards the pavement.
The red brick hits the ground with a large "THUMP!" and a small cloud of dust puffs around the fallen brick.
Mick starts to s****** and tosses his yellow brick from his left hand to his right hand and then back again.
He takes the yellow brick in his dominant hand (which, by the way, is his right).
Mick takes seven steps back away from the edge of the scaffolding and then runs as fast as he can towards it.
Just before he hits the metal safety rail, he launches the yellow brick high up into the air.
The yellow brick goes up….
And the yellow brick goes up….
And up…
And up…
And up.
Hehehehehe! Don't you just love it?
hehehe!
:|
