Telling someone they smell...
- Thread starter SarahDinnage
- Start date
T
TheGuru2010
Hey, not sure if this helps much but i used to have to tell some staff they had a smelly issue & the way i used to tackle this was.
Take them to a quite room & state that ive notice a few issues & would thought i would bring it to your attention before other staff members do.
I have on the odd occasion advised i had the same problem when i was younger, this often helps get over the embaresment.
Not 100% the same problem but im sure the same will apply.
Least its perfume !!!
Take them to a quite room & state that ive notice a few issues & would thought i would bring it to your attention before other staff members do.
I have on the odd occasion advised i had the same problem when i was younger, this often helps get over the embaresment.
Not 100% the same problem but im sure the same will apply.
Least its perfume !!!
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O
Officebird
Tell the line manager if they were a good manager they would be able to deal with this themselves.
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A site i work on frequently posts up a large notice at the staff entrance reminding all staff about personal hygiene and excessive use of smellies.
Seems a simple way of addressing the issue to me. Everyone is informed and makes it easier to address the issue with individuals at a later date if required.
Seems a simple way of addressing the issue to me. Everyone is informed and makes it easier to address the issue with individuals at a later date if required.
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T
TheGuru2010
Tell the line manager if they were a good manager they would be able to deal with this themselves.
I personally think this is the way forward, as a manager i dont think i would even go to my supperior with this problem
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OK then...
Tomorrow morning you need to walk into the office and let out the biggest fart ever.
Then casually walk over to the coffee machine whilst muttering something like 'that should even up the balance'.
It's all about the Yin, and the Yang...
Edited to add...
Make sure you don't follow through
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ok some useful and not so useful comments there....
something to note is that she does not know that she uses too much!
Some women think that they need to put it on until THEY can smell it - they don't realise that this is then 20 times stronger for everyone else and that they are walking in a miasma of it. You might try by asking what the perfume is -then remarking that it's quite expensive and that the quality ones (go with this even if it isn't) are expensive because only a small amount is needed - which is great because they ARE so expensive.
You can comment that perfume is a very personal thing in terms of what people like and that on occassion she may be wearing a little more than is necessary - because those spray things are difficult to control sometimes (You're getting my angle here?) and when there is no spray - well we easily use too much.
And there's no point wasting expensive perfume on people that sit around you and don't like it.
Remember that less is more - perfume should be experienced by others as the occassional wiff - not a constant because then we get used to it and our brains switch it off.
This should be dealt with either by her manager - or sometimes it's gentler and less embarrassing for all if it's had as a passing conversation by another female colleague. This is then not seen as a telling off - but advice.
something to note is that she does not know that she uses too much!
Some women think that they need to put it on until THEY can smell it - they don't realise that this is then 20 times stronger for everyone else and that they are walking in a miasma of it. You might try by asking what the perfume is -then remarking that it's quite expensive and that the quality ones (go with this even if it isn't) are expensive because only a small amount is needed - which is great because they ARE so expensive.
You can comment that perfume is a very personal thing in terms of what people like and that on occassion she may be wearing a little more than is necessary - because those spray things are difficult to control sometimes (You're getting my angle here?) and when there is no spray - well we easily use too much.
And there's no point wasting expensive perfume on people that sit around you and don't like it.
Remember that less is more - perfume should be experienced by others as the occassional wiff - not a constant because then we get used to it and our brains switch it off.
This should be dealt with either by her manager - or sometimes it's gentler and less embarrassing for all if it's had as a passing conversation by another female colleague. This is then not seen as a telling off - but advice.
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Print out an anonymous note and leave it on her desk or somewhere she'll find it.
'This is an anonymous note to tell you that your perfume is far too pungent and basically stinks.'
She then gets the message with minimal embarrassment.
'This is an anonymous note to tell you that your perfume is far too pungent and basically stinks.'
She then gets the message with minimal embarrassment.
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Cone on on guys. Your a cruel lot of bas---ds today and it is obvious few of you have ever employed a number of females in the office at one time. I have and I'll tell you.You insult one and you get them all unduly worried and self concious about body odours all the time.
The way to deal with this then is NOT to single the woman but send a memo out to both men & women. This would simply say that recently there has been an 'aroma' of musk or something worn by some staff that some members of staff are allergic too. Please bear this in mind when considering personal hygiene. Job done.
What isn't so easy in dealing with believe you me when you have 4 or 5 female office staff is that bloody time of the moth - and I choose my words carefully.
Then you don't know what the hell is going on. It' seems to be either PreMT or Post MT with one or the other all the time. Well at least for the first 6 months. After that it's strange but their time of the month all seem to merge.
Absolute heaven if you take to having long pub lunches that week.
Robert
The way to deal with this then is NOT to single the woman but send a memo out to both men & women. This would simply say that recently there has been an 'aroma' of musk or something worn by some staff that some members of staff are allergic too. Please bear this in mind when considering personal hygiene. Job done.
What isn't so easy in dealing with believe you me when you have 4 or 5 female office staff is that bloody time of the moth - and I choose my words carefully.
Then you don't know what the hell is going on. It' seems to be either PreMT or Post MT with one or the other all the time. Well at least for the first 6 months. After that it's strange but their time of the month all seem to merge.
Absolute heaven if you take to having long pub lunches that week.
Robert
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Is this one of your temps Sarah?
Personally, I don't understand why the line manager can't do it themselves, if she is a temp then the consultant who registered them should invite them in to discuss the issue.
Personally, I don't understand why the line manager can't do it themselves, if she is a temp then the consultant who registered them should invite them in to discuss the issue.
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I agree that it is a bit off that this cannot come from the line manager not a complete stranger that has never met them before. How intimidating and embarrassing.
A true story from some years ago...
One of my female bosses years ago really stunk and some of the older women in the team suggested that we leave it with them and they would handle it tactfully (she was the boss after all)
Anyway, I came back from lunch to find that this woman's desk had been completely surrounded by about 25 fans, some on stands, some on the desk, some on filing cabinets, and it seemed everyone in the office had donated a deoderant or perfume of some description... even little hanging car air fresheners hanging from her chair and the fans.
That image will stay with me whenever I think of telling someone that they smell! People can be so cruel
A true story from some years ago...
One of my female bosses years ago really stunk and some of the older women in the team suggested that we leave it with them and they would handle it tactfully (she was the boss after all)
Anyway, I came back from lunch to find that this woman's desk had been completely surrounded by about 25 fans, some on stands, some on the desk, some on filing cabinets, and it seemed everyone in the office had donated a deoderant or perfume of some description... even little hanging car air fresheners hanging from her chair and the fans.
That image will stay with me whenever I think of telling someone that they smell! People can be so cruel
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OMG how sexist are you? This isn't the 70s anymore, please keep your offensive sexist views to yourself and not spread them around. If you really think of every woman that you employ like that, then you probably have all kinds of other sexist views on their abilities too.
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It is obvious that you madam have a chip on your shoulder that you are somewhat lacking in height. I would say short on the facts of life and humour too.
It is a fact of life that women have PMT. It is a fact of life that when you have a team of about 4 or 5 women working in a happy environment that somehow they manage to to channel that time of the month where most become irritable into a single week so that they too can enjoy the rest of the moth without worrying about periods or depresion. If you think that my observation on that is in some way sexist you are completely out of order.
In fact as an employer I can honestly say that in over 4o years of being in a wide varirty of busineeses I have never - I repeat never had a female employee leave apart from one who emigrated to Canada. I might also add. that Ruth who like the others had been with me some 10 - 20 years like most of the other gals and her husband insisted I be best man at the wedding.
Don't then madam, ever slag me off as being sexist. I do however happen to call a very shortly built friend of mine eith Bridget the Midget or a Smurf so get a sense of humour like she has.
Robert
Nice one Eastern and Brut is so cheap these days.
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- Original Poster
- #27
Blimey..well thank you for the contributions..it's a mind bender.
This is a lady I have placed in a permanent position with a client. The situation is I have met her but of course won't be working with her directly.
Client loved her but has asked me to pass on the message can she tone down the perfume a little, less is more etc.
So without putting her back up before she starts her new job in a weeks time I need to convey the message in a friendly way.
I have a feeling I am going to have to bite the bullett.
This is a lady I have placed in a permanent position with a client. The situation is I have met her but of course won't be working with her directly.
Client loved her but has asked me to pass on the message can she tone down the perfume a little, less is more etc.
So without putting her back up before she starts her new job in a weeks time I need to convey the message in a friendly way.
I have a feeling I am going to have to bite the bullett.
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Sarah. Use the 'Musk' excuse that the client is allegic. Most cheap perfumes have too much of it.
Me I am thinking of setting up a dating site called the 'Homepride Men' seems there are going to be a lot of trendy girlies out there that are their size.
Mind you I won't be becoming a member. I have to admit I like long - long legs and that is before the high heels go on.
Any finally with apolgies for going off thread Sarah but another somewhat delicate matter do you all not think that member ShortCouture could not have not come up with a better name.
My ex was only about 5ft 4 and she used to shop at a boutique called Petite Fashion. Either that or go in C & A and buy childrens clothes.
Seriously poster I think and I note other do that call some-one short is not exactly PC.
http://www.ukbusinessforums.co.uk/f...[URL=http://imageshack.us]ImageShack.us[/URL]
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Robert
Me I am thinking of setting up a dating site called the 'Homepride Men' seems there are going to be a lot of trendy girlies out there that are their size.
Mind you I won't be becoming a member. I have to admit I like long - long legs and that is before the high heels go on.
Any finally with apolgies for going off thread Sarah but another somewhat delicate matter do you all not think that member ShortCouture could not have not come up with a better name.
My ex was only about 5ft 4 and she used to shop at a boutique called Petite Fashion. Either that or go in C & A and buy childrens clothes.
Seriously poster I think and I note other do that call some-one short is not exactly PC.
http://www.ukbusinessforums.co.uk/f...[URL=http://imageshack.us]ImageShack.us[/URL]
![http://www.ukbusinessforums.co.uk/f...[URL=http://imageshack.us]ImageShack.us[/URL]](https://www.ukbusinessforums.co.uk/forums/%5BURL=http://img201.imageshack.us/i/rsnowwhitewdwarfsl04150.jpg/%5D%5BIMG%5Dhttp://img201.imageshack.us/img201/8612/rsnowwhitewdwarfsl04150.jpg%5B/IMG%5D%5B/URL%5D%20%20Uploaded%20with%20%5BURL=http://imageshack.us%5DImageShack.us%5B/URL%5D){kind=link}
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Yes, very constructive comments... good job... 
muppets.
Firstly this is no place for political correctness but it is relative to discrimination in the workplace and emotional consideration for the mental well-being of employees, you should be understanding and look below the surface of the problem to appreciate the cause as well as have compasion for the worker whom has many rights.
Get it wrong and you could face a tribunial for unfair constructive dismissal and discriminatory hearings could ensue.
The employee in question may have a medical condition you are unaware of, indeed a previous workplace perhaps made fun of her personal hygiene and hence the oodles of scent being worn currently but can only understand that via a 1-2-1 discreet conversation, with an impartial witness to stand arbitrary if a situation develops - she may not be aware and repute your allegations. A gentle tap in the right direction, "...I noticed recently, not too obvious but enough I was aware and could you at work wear a little less? How's everything else...?". An office memo is more damaging than good, if she's not aware and other staff are they'll gossip about her and eventually she'll catch on and it's not easy working somewhere when you think everyone is talking behind your back. Thus the memo is a thoughtless idea.
Jokes are all good and well but this is someones mental health you're playing with.
muppets.Firstly this is no place for political correctness but it is relative to discrimination in the workplace and emotional consideration for the mental well-being of employees, you should be understanding and look below the surface of the problem to appreciate the cause as well as have compasion for the worker whom has many rights.
Get it wrong and you could face a tribunial for unfair constructive dismissal and discriminatory hearings could ensue.
The employee in question may have a medical condition you are unaware of, indeed a previous workplace perhaps made fun of her personal hygiene and hence the oodles of scent being worn currently but can only understand that via a 1-2-1 discreet conversation, with an impartial witness to stand arbitrary if a situation develops - she may not be aware and repute your allegations. A gentle tap in the right direction, "...I noticed recently, not too obvious but enough I was aware and could you at work wear a little less? How's everything else...?". An office memo is more damaging than good, if she's not aware and other staff are they'll gossip about her and eventually she'll catch on and it's not easy working somewhere when you think everyone is talking behind your back. Thus the memo is a thoughtless idea.
Jokes are all good and well but this is someones mental health you're playing with.
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So she hasn't actually started the job yet? Mmmmm maybe she just went overboard with the perfume for the interview (not intentionally)?
God this is a difficult one, personally i would have suggested that to the line manager that it may have just been a "one-off" although i suspect for the first day/week it could be the same. I do think that it would be better addressed by the line manager, it may seem less formal.
Overbearing perfume can be a nightmare.....
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- Original Poster
- #33
Well she has to pop in next week to say hi to the other staff so..
I am going to send her some "new starter" information which will include company dress code, start and finish times etc and as an addendum I will put an "we request that members of staff wear minimal aftershave/perfume as some members of the team have allergies".
Before she goes back in I will give her a call and mention it again, and just say this was an issue with another new starter I had..
I don't think I need to say "your new boss says your over doing it.."..
I am going to send her some "new starter" information which will include company dress code, start and finish times etc and as an addendum I will put an "we request that members of staff wear minimal aftershave/perfume as some members of the team have allergies".
Before she goes back in I will give her a call and mention it again, and just say this was an issue with another new starter I had..
I don't think I need to say "your new boss says your over doing it.."..
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That sounds like the most tactful way of dealing with it.
Don't do what my dad did and get a can of Magic Tree Air Freshener and spray it at her whenever she wears too much perfume (god knows how he's managed 40-odd years as an employer without getting sued!!!).
Don't do what my dad did and get a can of Magic Tree Air Freshener and spray it at her whenever she wears too much perfume (god knows how he's managed 40-odd years as an employer without getting sued!!!).
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- Original Poster
- #35
[FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif']Well I think I have found the right tone..this is a sample of the email I sent[/FONT]
[FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif'][/FONT]
[FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif']"[/FONT][FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif']Just touching base regarding the new start a week on Monday did you get a chance to look into when might be a good time to meet up with the team? [/FONT]
[FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif'] [/FONT]
[FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif']If you let me know then I will pass this on to xxx he is very pleased to have found you! [/FONT]
[FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif'] [/FONT]
[FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif']As far as I know hours are Mon-Fri 9 to 5:30 in the xxx Office I am going to double check this with him on Monday. Dress code as I am sure you know and are used to is office corporate. Its also worth knowing last time I put someone in there it came up that someone in the xxx office has an allergy to perfume/aftershave, therefore I now have the pleasure of asking people to either avoid or be light handed - not sure if you are a user but if so can you ensure its minimal for fear of setting off a sneeze attack somewhere in the office..personally I think it would be quite fun to try and work out who has the allergy but I have a very mean streak...[/FONT]
[FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif'] [/FONT]
[FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif']Did your friend have any luck with her job of not I would be interested to have a look at her CV, and of course if something came of it I would be happy to pay you a nice referral bonus. [/FONT]
[FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif'] [/FONT]
[FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif']Other then that hope all OK and speak soon will wait to hear when a good time to go in is for you. [/FONT]
[FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif'][/FONT]
[FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif'][/FONT]
[FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif'][/FONT]
[FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif']"[/FONT][FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif']Just touching base regarding the new start a week on Monday did you get a chance to look into when might be a good time to meet up with the team? [/FONT]
[FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif'] [/FONT]
[FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif']If you let me know then I will pass this on to xxx he is very pleased to have found you! [/FONT]
[FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif'] [/FONT]
[FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif']As far as I know hours are Mon-Fri 9 to 5:30 in the xxx Office I am going to double check this with him on Monday. Dress code as I am sure you know and are used to is office corporate. Its also worth knowing last time I put someone in there it came up that someone in the xxx office has an allergy to perfume/aftershave, therefore I now have the pleasure of asking people to either avoid or be light handed - not sure if you are a user but if so can you ensure its minimal for fear of setting off a sneeze attack somewhere in the office..personally I think it would be quite fun to try and work out who has the allergy but I have a very mean streak...[/FONT]
[FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif'] [/FONT]
[FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif']Did your friend have any luck with her job of not I would be interested to have a look at her CV, and of course if something came of it I would be happy to pay you a nice referral bonus. [/FONT]
[FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif'] [/FONT]
[FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif']Other then that hope all OK and speak soon will wait to hear when a good time to go in is for you. [/FONT]
[FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif'][/FONT]
[FONT='Arial Narrow','sans-serif'][/FONT]
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D
DancingWithPoodles
Seems that lots of people on this forum don't have any experience with women.
Listen all you need to do is say "Mmm thats a nice perfume. What is it?" She gonna say something like "D&G Light Blue" and you gonna say "It makes both my heads spin but is a little bit strong for the office" She gonna say "oooh is it, i wear it every day and probably lost my sense for the smell" you say "Yeah, maybe you should try something ligher
Listen all you need to do is say "Mmm thats a nice perfume. What is it?" She gonna say something like "D&G Light Blue" and you gonna say "It makes both my heads spin but is a little bit strong for the office" She gonna say "oooh is it, i wear it every day and probably lost my sense for the smell" you say "Yeah, maybe you should try something ligher
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