Quit my job..

[GC123]

I've worked for the same man for 4 years. Always got on well with my boss until recently, when some personal issues came between us. Anyway, my employer stormed into work yesterday morning and demanded that I ring his mother to apologise for something I had said to her because if I didnt he was going to "kick my c*** in", "and then sack you" if I didn't. I quit on the spot. Obviously I felt very threatened and had to quit, but I just want to know if anyone had any advice?

 

[Parthelan]

Ah yes. You're the person who's working in the office of a man who's married to one of your sisters and having an affair with the other one.

And your response to this was to call everyone who knew him, business and personal and accuse him of being a paedophile, including, presumably, his mother.

Seeing as you slandered him, and falsely accused him of just about the most heinous crime known to man, did you apologise?

Your initial thread was along the lines of asking if you could quit and then sue him for constructive dismissal even though you admitted you never had a problem with him.

I see you're back for a second bite of the cherry.

 

[GC123]

Seeing as you slandered him, and falsely accused him of just about the most heinous crime known to man, did you apologise?

The single and only time that word was raised was on this forum. If you remember correctly, someone else used that word and I said that in my opinion that was the perfect word for him. I did not accuse him of that crime. I did say however that I was unsure of the actual legislation regarding it.

Your initial thread was along the lines of asking if you could quit and then sue him for constructive dismissal even though you admitted you never had a problem with him.

My initial thread was me asking for advice, I didn't want to be dismissed because he had accused me of someththing at I hadn't actually done, and didn't want him thinking he could just sack me and be rid of me and get away with it!

 

[Parthelan]

You're quite correct. I was misrememberating. Someone else did indeed use the term, and you agreed with it. However, you seemed to think he was, given you werent aware of the age of consent where you are; here's what you said:

Also, I live in northern ireland and as far as I'm aware, the age of consent is 17, which makes him a sex offender. However, knowing my little sister, she wouldn't be interested in pressing any charges. Anyway I hope this helps some of you understand why exactly this has bothered me so much to the point that I decided to let his customers know his true colours, to have someone I trusted and considered to be a friend, do that to my family.. It's sick.

When you let his customers know his true colours, did you call him a sex offender, or a paedophile? Given that at the time you thought he was, as you didnt know the age of consent.

And did you call him sex offender or paedophile to his mother?

Did you use those terms in any conversation about him to anyone?

 

[GC123]

When you let his customers know his true colours, did you call him a sex offender, or a paedophile? Given that at the time you thought he was, as you didnt know the age of consent.

And did you call him sex offender or paedophile to his mother?

Did you use those terms in any conversation about him to anyone?

No, as I said the only time that word has been used or those implications were made are here on this forum. When I said "true colours" I meant with regards to him breaking my trust, we were good friends before all this and used to socialise regularly. I only spoke to his mother in the past week, and since coming onto this forum and people telling me that he had not infact broken any laws with regard to her age, I didn't use those terms to his mother, or anyone else. I did use the word "sick", but thats about it.

 

[Parthelan]

Any witnesses to his violent threatening behaviour?

 

[GC123]

Well yes, my first witness would be my little sister, who still works there and I now know their relationship is continuing, so we can count her out as a witness. She was outside in the smoking area which is where he originally threatened me. However I went back inside and he repeated his threat, that time I'm sure at least one person heard him say it. However, I haven't asked yet, but I know any witness(es) are not likely to be forthcoming considering they still work there and do not want to risk their jobs. If someone does say they were a witness to his behaviour, do they have to be open about it or can they remain anonymous? How far would they actually have to go to be considered a witness?

 

[Parthelan]

I think he had reasonably good grounds to sack you for bad mouthing him when it happened, betrayal of trust, bringing him and his company into disrepute and possibly damaging his business ... but I think he might well have blow it by becoming threatening and violent.

On the face of it, in light of a very troubling personal threat, followed by an arbitrary threat of sacking without reference to due process, you may well have a case for constructive dismisal.

Regardless of the provocation, he has no right to threaten anyone, most especially the threat fo violence. As it is, he has possibly already committed an offense in law.

As to how strong a case you might have, or whether witness statements can be annonymous in a tribunal, I think the experts on here like Karl would be best to advise.

 

[GC123]

Thanks Tom for at least reassuring me. As you said hopefully someone who knows the ins and outs of the legislation concerning this will be able to advise me further.

 

[saxondale]

you sue him - he brings up the thread, you loose.


I`m glad you had the principle to resign last month when you found out you were working for a (your words) sex offender who was (your words) abusing a member of your own family.

 

[GC123]

Loose?

I doubt very much he will ever know about this thread.

Everyone has different circumstances, I was seeking work then and of course I still am now, I'm not sure how lucky you are Saxondale but I for one couldn't have (and still can't) afford to lose my only source of income. Only for the fact I was threatened and felt that I was working in an unsafe environment did I quit.

 

[S-Marketing]

Loose?

I doubt very much he will ever know about this thread.

Everyone has different circumstances, I was seeking work then and of course I still am now, I'm not sure how lucky you are Saxondale but I for one couldn't have (and still can't) afford to lose my only source of income. Only for the fact I was threatened and felt that I was working in an unsafe environment did I quit.

I think that he's suggesting that if you actually thought your sister was being abused by a sex offender, you should grow some balls, and do something about it, rather than running away. Thats my take on the situation anyway.

 

[GC123]

Do something about it? Like what perhaps? Maybe you should try reading the thread that they are talking about. Not that it actually matters, I'd much prefer if we could stay on topic and the people who want to piss me off by talking about my previous thread from now on will be ignored

 

[JEREMY HAWKE]

You sound like a lot of effort !!!

Are you sure that not one of these problem children

You always appear to be in some sort of bother.

Have you ever had a good day ?

 

[lesliedocherty]

I've worked for the same man for 4 years. Always got on well with my boss until recently, when some personal issues came between us. Anyway, my employer stormed into work yesterday morning and demanded that I ring his mother to apologise for something I had said to her because if I didnt he was going to "kick my c*** in", "and then sack you" if I didn't. I quit on the spot. Obviously I felt very threatened and had to quit, but I just want to know if anyone had any advice?

Amazing how you can paint a good picture when telling one side of the story.

 

[MH1]

I reckon you are lucky to still be walking.

 

[saxondale]

I reckon you are lucky to still be walking.

the number of times I had typed that then decided not to post it.

 

[lesliedocherty]

the number of times I had typed that then decided not to post it.

Same here, you'll look back on this in a few years, and think to yourself

 

[JohnnyCash]

No way this thread (and the one preceding it) isn't a regular ukbf member with another account, taking the piss.

 

[GC123]

No way this thread (and the one preceding it) isn't a regular ukbf member with another account, taking the piss.

As unbelieveable as it sounds Johnny, its the truth. It doesn't matter, all I wanted was some legal advice, as I thought that was the idea of a forum such as this, some people are helpful, others seem to relish in telling me that I'm wrong, or being unreasonable.

Reminds me of a saying.. Before you criticise someone, try walking a mile in their shoes.** But whatever, I'm going to see my sister's solicitor tomorrow, she's going to halt her divorce (due to come through in a week's time) and I'm asking for advice on what my rights are regarding being physically threatened by him, and sexual discrimination.

Hopefully I wont need to come back to this forum any time soon, and for everyone that helped or had something nice to say, thanks. For the others - I hope what you said made you feel good


** That way, when you criticse them.. you're a mile away.. and you've got their shoes

 

[Consistency]

Hopefully I wont need to come back to this forum any time soon, quote]

That is not nice really, after all I think it would be nice if you would return and help people in the way that you have been helped.

 

[Employment Law Clinic]

Reminds me of a saying.. Before you criticise someone, try walking a mile in their shoes.** But whatever, I'm going to see my sister's solicitor tomorrow, she's going to halt her divorce (due to come through in a week's time) and I'm asking for advice on what my rights are regarding being physically threatened by him, and sexual discrimination.

Hopefully I wont need to come back to this forum any time soon, and for everyone that helped or had something nice to say, thanks. For the others - I hope what you said made you feel good


** That way, when you criticse them.. you're a mile away.. and you've got their shoes

As to how strong a case you might have, or whether witness statements can be annonymous in a tribunal, I think the experts on here like Karl would be best to advise.

As I was mentioned, I would have got back to replying, but (as much as it pains me - and I'm sure Consistency knows how much that is! ) I have to agree with them when they said:

That is not nice really, after all I think it would be nice if you would return and help people in the way that you have been helped.

From the limited information available, I can't see what claim you might have for sexual discrimination (are you claiming you were discriminated against because your boss never... ?). You may have a case for the violent threats, but I'm sure a divorce lawyer will be able to advice you adequately on the delicate nature of constructive dismissal in employment law.


Karl Limpert

 

[GC123]

As I was mentioned, I would have got back to replying, but (as much as it pains me - and I'm sure Consistency knows how much that is! ) I have to agree with them when they said:

From the limited information available, I can't see what claim you might have for sexual discrimination (are you claiming you were discriminated against because your boss never... ?). You may have a case for the violent threats, but I'm sure a divorce lawyer will be able to advice you adequately on the delicate nature of constructive dismissal in employment law.

Karl Limpert

Okay, does it make a difference if I'm homosexual then? Considering his choice of words when he threatened me? He's a lawyer nonetheless and a good one at that so here's hoping he can advise me on someone I should talk to.

 

[saxondale]

now your just been silly ............. impossible to believe anything you say.

 

[Consistency]

Okay, does it make a difference if I'm homosexual then? Considering his choice of words when he threatened me? He's a lawyer nonetheless and a good one at that so here's hoping he can advise me on someone I should talk to.

So now you want to pretend you are batting for the other side just so you can get on that list of "can't be touched" as you have one of those afflictions that means you have to be dealt with ever so carefully?

Do you want a date with me, I may not be much use, I have only got one leg, me tipng get bad i gust fund oot jme got problomk?

I vave got lotttts nu reyts nowww.

wee phrends plese.
------------------------

On a serious note, this is where all this nonesense will get us, normal folk pretending to have a problem to open doors that are otherwise slammed in their faces, and then after a period of time acting that part so well it becomes them.

We really are breeding a nation of over-sensitive irresponsibles who realise that it to be backwards in one way or another takes you forwards, I do hope this is a cycle and in years to come it will right itself.

 

[Scott-Copywriter]

but I just want to know if anyone had any advice?

Don't make very damaging claims about your employer and his business behind his back because of personal reasons.

 

[GC123]

So now you want to pretend you are batting for the other side just so you can get on that list of "can't be touched" as you have one of those afflictions that means you have to be dealt with ever so carefully?

Not pretending in the sligtest Consistency, its a fact, everyone knows my sexuality, friends, family, co-workers, and have for years.

 

[Consistency]

Oh well, that has shut me up.

Apart from to say, I think maybe a few of us were right in the first instance, you were jealous because he chose the birds and not the boys. Patience, he just might come out and come for you. Be nice, it could be that he was so nasty because he was repressed.

 

[GC123]

No, not right at all actually, personally I would have no intention of having any kind of romantic relationship with my brother-in-law/employer, simply for the fact that he is my brother-in-law.

Made an appointment today to see a solicitor who specialises in employment law. In the meantime, anyone reading this who actually cares or wishes to offer some advice, do you know if at an employment tribunal if witnesses can remain anonymous? Because I have now two witnesses who are willing to testify, but would prefer if they could remain anonymous at the tribunal.?

 

[saxondale]

No, not right at all actually, personally I would have no intention of having any kind of romantic relationship with my brother-in-law/employer, simply for the fact that he is my brother-in-law.

Made an appointment today to see a solicitor who specialises in employment law. In the meantime, anyone reading this who actually cares or wishes to offer some advice, do you know if at an employment tribunal if witnesses can remain anonymous? Because I have now two witnesses who are willing to testify, but would prefer if they could remain anonymous at the tribunal.?

what did your sisters lawyer say when you saw him today?

 

[Parthelan]

I would have no intention of having any kind of romantic relationship with my brother-in-law/employer, simply for the fact that he is my brother-in-law.

The fact he's not homosexual might be another reason.

Unless, married to one sister and having an affair with your other sister, you're about to tell us he's bisexual :|

 

[Charlie B ACS]

As far as I am aware witnesses are not allowed to be anonymous at a tribunal.

However based upon reading both of the threads you have started, the chances of you making a succesful claim are minimal at best.

You have contributed considerably to the situation, and from your side of the story alone, your actions would constitute, IMHO, Gross Misconduct & you could have been dismissed without notice at that point.

Better to go quietly, find another job & get on with your life.

 

[Employment Law Clinic]

Okay, does it make a difference if I'm homosexual then? Considering his choice of words when he threatened me? He's a lawyer nonetheless and a good one at that so here's hoping he can advise me on someone I should talk to.

Not pretending in the sligtest Consistency, its a fact, everyone knows my sexuality, friends, family, co-workers, and have for years.

If your sexual orientation is your grounds for sexual discrimination, I can’t see that you have a case at all: everyone’s known about this for years, so why would it suddenly become a reason for your dismissal?

Made an appointment today to see a solicitor who specialises in employment law. In the meantime, anyone reading this who actually cares or wishes to offer some advice, do you know if at an employment tribunal if witnesses can remain anonymous? Because I have now two witnesses who are willing to testify, but would prefer if they could remain anonymous at the tribunal.?

Witnesses cannot be anonymous at an employment tribunal, although the hearing can, exceptionally, be held in private for some discrimination cases. As you don’t have a discrimination claim though, this wouldn’t apply in your case.

However, as you’re in Northern Ireland, you’ll be bringing a claim in an industrial tribunal. Generally the rules are the same as they are for the employment tribunals, but you may want to check that as I haven’t for some time.

With respect to constructive dismissal, I entirely agree with Charlie above. You brought this on yourself. The best you could hope for is to try to retract your resignation, advising this was done in the heat of the moment, but practically speaking you should just move on and try to always act in the best interests of any future employer, regardless of your personal opinions.



Karl Limpert

 

[internetspaceships]

Yet another disgruntled employee who gets upset when the advice given isn't the advice they wanted.

Throwing in the discrimination card sucks, you think you're the only gay person out there? Why does being gay give you a "get out of jail free" card anyway?

It doesn't. You may have more "rights" in this utterly OTT PC society that we currently operate but you also have the same responsibilities as anyone else.

I'm with Karl on this.

 

[Richard BF]

wow you said things about your boss behind his back and potentially ruined his business reputation (libel/defamation ?) and then try and take court action for him calling you gay or making a referance to your sexuality ?


Facking hell grow a pair you brought it all on yourself in the first place , just be greatfull you can walk.

 

[woodss]

Where is Jeremy Kyle when you need him?

 

[Consistency]

I think we need Vanessa back in her capacity to deal with these matters.