Newspaper ad conversion rates

[G. Lasagne]

A couple of weeks ago i managed to get a free advert in my local paper by advertising it as a reader offer, because of the success of the free ad i now have a paid ad which is in a much better position and looks better, the only difference is the price which i have increased by £100, but it is still a good deal. I had 6 quotes from the free ad and only 1 from the paid. I have the paid ad for 3 months so can change it weekly as required, any thoughts why the drop in conversions, is the price such a big issue?
The paid ad is a better design and the key parts, price etc were highlighted in bold etc, the whole thing had a black border around it.
The paid ad was on page 8 and the free ad on page 40 something


The free ad was along the lines of:





EXCLUSIVE OFFER FOR
NEWS GUARDIAN READERS

News Guardian readers are been given the chance
to get a brand new Combi boiler at cost price
(plus a very competitive labour charge for fitting).
We’ve teamed up with Gas Angel Heating Services of
North Tyneside who, due to a bulk order of brand
new Baxi Duo-tec 28 Combi boilers are in a position
to sell the surplus stock at cost price and charge a
very competitive labour charge to clear this stock.
This offer is for Combi boiler exchanges only and
includes:

• 2 year guarantee on parts and labour
• 2 year’s free servicing for your warranty
• Boiler plus installation, trv’s, roomstat and
powerflush only £1550.00 (inc vat at 15%)
• Which magazine and CORGI ‘boiler of the year’.

HURRY WHILE STOCKS LAST.

Please contact us as below quoting NEP01 to
qualify for this great offer
Call 0191-2892464 or freephone 0800-8600897
e-mail [email protected]


The paid ad was:




BOILERS
MUST BE SOLD!

At our customers request we have decided to
place another bulk order of Baxi Duo-tec 28he
combi boilers.
Therefore we are offering all readers the chance
to have the duo-tec supplied and fi tted, plus
extras at our lowest possible price.

• Which and CORGI boiler of the year
• 2 year guarantee on parts and labour
• 2 years free servicing for you warranty
• Offer includes TRV’s,Powerfl ush and
wireless room stat

Only £1649 (inc vat)

Call 0191 289 3464 / 0800 8600 897
Visit our website for all our other
services
www.gasangelheating.co.uk

 

[Kev Jaques]

It's all in the wording.
This for starters sounds better than the paid ad

"News Guardian readers are been given the chance
to get a brand new Combi boiler at cost price
(plus a very competitive labour charge for fitting)."

It's only very loosely said in the paid ad.

Forum or ad typo in the paid ad bullet "for you warranty"?

The last bit on paid ad "Visit our website for all our other services" could be better worded with lots of better ideas for example very quick one off the cuff - Visit our website for more fantastic offers.

 

[telemax]

Wording aside,

Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason to it. One week an ad might get 10 calls , then nothing for 2 weeks, then it all goes crazy again. I used to advertise weekly for years in a previous business and never managed to work it out

 

[Jason L]

I think the headline could be better. BOILERS
MUST BE SOLD! sounds a bit like you are just trying to offload goods. Why not try:

GREAT PRICE ON AWARD WINNING BOILER!

 

[strikingedge]

First advert does read better than the 2nd.

The new one sounds more salesy and a bit contrived.

"At our customers request we have decided to
place another bulk order of Baxi Duo-tec 28he
combi boilers."

I'd be thinking...which customers? (Expecting them to be made up) And why should I buy one now since you obviously regularly re-order in bulk. Also...what the hell is a Baxi Due-tec 28he?!

"Cost price" is a lot more appealing than "lowest possible price".

 

[G. Lasagne]

Thanks everyone, great tips and i agree with the comments, cant believe i missed the typo.
If i made the changes though, would it put you off?
By that i mean if the ad keeps changing would you be suspicious of the crediability of the offer.
I have attempted to implement a "call to action" and not make it just another ad, maybe im over thinking it, it is at the end of the day just an offer for a new boiler.

 

[Scott-Copywriter]

A couple of weeks ago i managed to get a free advert in my local paper by advertising it as a reader offer, because of the success of the free ad i now have a paid ad which is in a much better position and looks better, the only difference is the price which i have increased by £100, but it is still a good deal. I had 6 quotes from the free ad and only 1 from the paid. I have the paid ad for 3 months so can change it weekly as required, any thoughts why the drop in conversions, is the price such a big issue?
The paid ad is a better design and the key parts, price etc were highlighted in bold etc, the whole thing had a black border around it.
The paid ad was on page 8 and the free ad on page 40 something


The free ad was along the lines of:





EXCLUSIVE OFFER FOR
NEWS GUARDIAN READERS

News Guardian readers are been given the chance
to get a brand new Combi boiler at cost price
(plus a very competitive labour charge for fitting).
We’ve teamed up with Gas Angel Heating Services of
North Tyneside who, due to a bulk order of brand
new Baxi Duo-tec 28 Combi boilers are in a position
to sell the surplus stock at cost price and charge a
very competitive labour charge to clear this stock.
This offer is for Combi boiler exchanges only and
includes:

• 2 year guarantee on parts and labour
• 2 year’s free servicing for your warranty
• Boiler plus installation, trv’s, roomstat and
powerflush only £1550.00 (inc vat at 15%)
• Which magazine and CORGI ‘boiler of the year’.

HURRY WHILE STOCKS LAST.

Please contact us as below quoting NEP01 to
qualify for this great offer
Call 0191-2892464 or freephone 0800-8600897
e-mail [email protected]


The paid ad was:




BOILERS
MUST BE SOLD!

At our customers request we have decided to
place another bulk order of Baxi Duo-tec 28he
combi boilers.
Therefore we are offering all readers the chance
to have the duo-tec supplied and fi tted, plus
extras at our lowest possible price.

• Which and CORGI boiler of the year
• 2 year guarantee on parts and labour
• 2 years free servicing for you warranty
• Offer includes TRV’s,Powerfl ush and
wireless room stat

Only £1649 (inc vat)

Call 0191 289 3464 / 0800 8600 897
Visit our website for all our other
services
www.gasangelheating.co.uk

Number of reasons:

1). How many of those 6 quotes from the free ad turned into actual sales? If it wasn't almost all of them then that tells you that the price is an issue. Also, that tiny amount of text is nowhere near enough to convince someone to come close to spending £1649.

2). The wording for the paid ad won't grab as much attention. Why would 'boilers must be sold' grab anyone's attention? All you're doing is just telling people that YOU need to sell a lot of boilers, that's all.

3). We, we, we, we.

At our customers request we have decided to
place another bulk order of Baxi Duo-tec 28he
combi boilers.
Therefore we are offering all readers the chance
to have the duo-tec supplied and fi tted, plus
extras at our lowest possible price.

When you only have such a small amount of copy to work with, every single word should be there to push forward a sale. The first sentence doesn't do anything and it's far too wordy for what you have to work with. Why tell them that you've 'decided to' place another bulk order and it's because your customers requested it? None of this is going to grab their attention or make this an irresistible offer.

Don't assume that the readers of the paid ad will have read the free ad.

4). The first ad is written as an editorial-type piece. The ad isn't worded so it's trying to grab sales, it's worded so the newspaper is giving readers a valuable offer.

5). Don't forget that design doesn't sell anything. Copy is going to grab worthwhile attention better than any fancy designs can.

 

[G. Lasagne]

Is this better?


Award winning boiler offer!

Due to the success of our Guardian Baxi Duo tec boiler offer we
are continuing the offer until stocks run out. Call now
to have the duo-tec supplied and fitted, plus
extras at our lowest possible price.

• Which and CORGI boiler of the year
• 2 year guarantee on parts and labour
• 2 years free servicing for you warranty
• Offer includes TRV's,Powerfl ush and
wireless room stat

Only £1649 (inc vat)

Call 0191 289 3464 / 0800 8600 897
Visit our website for more fantastic
offers.
www.gasangelheating.co.uk

 

[Simon-M]

Sounds like your offer has won an award

 

[directmarketingadvice]

First ad has (a) a headline with a benefit for the reader and (b) scarcity.

The second ad has (b) a headline with a benefit for you and (b) no scarcity.

There are other factors, but those two alone could explain most of the 6:1 difference in response.

Steve

(Edit: to clarify, my comments refer to the ads in the original post)

 

[Scott-Copywriter]

Is this better?


Award winning boiler offer!

Due to the success of our Guardian Baxi Duo tec boiler offer we
are continuing the offer until stocks run out. Call now
to have the duo-tec supplied and fitted, plus
extras at our lowest possible price.

• Which and CORGI boiler of the year
• 2 year guarantee on parts and labour
• 2 years free servicing for you warranty
• Offer includes TRV's,Powerfl ush and
wireless room stat

Only £1649 (inc vat)

Call 0191 289 3464 / 0800 8600 897
Visit our website for more fantastic
offers.
www.gasangelheating.co.uk

Award winning boiler offer isn't going to grab anyone's attention I'm afraid. It doesn't relate to them and it doesn't give them any direct benefits. It would create mild curiosity at best.

Again, why mention the other offer? Bears no relevance to this new advertisement and the new set of people interested in it. Just say that you have the Duo-tec boilers available at cost price until stocks run out. Explain that it's a price that the reader might never come close to finding again (if that statement is true).

Also, if there's reason to believe that the price is having a negative impact on responses, then remove it. No one is going to decide whether to buy a £1650 boiler based on 3-4 sentences. Your ad should be there purely to get them on the phone, or on the website where you can go into much more depth about your offer. If they ring up out of curiosity about the price, that's great; at least you have them on the phone and interested.

 

[Kev Jaques]

I would possibly look at the Warm Front Grant kind of thing and look at it from the aspect of people rather than the initial opening wording.
Looking to save money with heating this and every winter? With a Combi Boiler etc...

 

[G. Lasagne]

Thanks again everyone

The only reason i referred to previous offers was so that i didnt look like i was trying to shift the boilers by changing text etc and give it more credibility,

Attempt number 104599



Award winning boiler offer while stocks last!

Are you sick of shopping around for the best price?
Here at Gas Angel we have put together our best offer
yet, due to a bulk order you can have the Baxi
duo-tec 28he supplied and fitted, plus
extras at cost price(or our lowest price).
If you have had a better like for like quote then give us a
call we would love to try and beat it.

• Which and CORGI boiler of the year
• 2 year guarantee on parts and labour
• 2 years free servicing for you warranty
• Offer includes TRV's,Powerfl ush and
wireless room stat

Only £1649 (inc vat)

Call 0191 289 3464 / 0800 8600 897
Visit our website for more fantastic
offers.
www.gasangelheating.co.uk __________________

 

[OldWelshGuy]

headline (title) is god.

AIDA

Attention
Interest
Desire
Action.

Four stages of buying, your ad must run through those stages.

As has been pointed out previously. the call to cation needs a reason.

BUY NOW! (is a statement, a call to action yes, but a command none the less.)
WHY? is the question they ask. why buy now?

We have limited availability and will supply on a first come first served basis ONCE THEY'RE GONE, THEY'RE GONE.
Contact us now to avoid disappointment

This gives them a REASON to contact you. It is a classic copy method of making an offer, then taking it away from them to encourage them to take the action you want.

 

[garyk]

Try to only change one factor at a time as well GasAngel otherwise you wont be able to track what is making the difference, i.e left or right facing, top or bottom half of newspaper, what page etc if all of these change week to week it could be any of these factors hitting your enquiry response.

 

[G. Lasagne]

Thanks again everyone

The only reason i referred to previous offers was so that i didnt look like i was trying to shift the boilers by changing text etc and give it more credibility,

Attempt number 104599



Award winning boiler offer while stocks last!

Are you sick of shopping around for the best price?
Here at Gas Angel we have put together our best offer
yet, due to a bulk order you can have the Baxi
duo-tec 28he supplied and fitted, plus
extras at cost price(or our lowest price).
If you have had a better like for like quote then give us a
call we would love to try and beat it.

• Which and CORGI boiler of the year
• 2 year guarantee on parts and labour
• 2 years free servicing for you warranty
• Offer includes TRV’s,Powerfl ush and
wireless room stat

Only £1649 (inc vat)

Call 0191 289 3464 / 0800 8600 897
Visit our website for more fantastic
offers.
www.gasangelheating.co.uk __________________

james - what do you think of the revised ad, i think it has a better call to action ?

 

[OldWelshGuy]

we cross posted

better, but TBh, I would be tempted to revert to the original ad (although I am not sure if you can pay for a reader offer under the ASA guidelines).

Ads must be tweaked not totally rewritten.

As has been stated though, the sun shining one weekend is enough to drop response!

people buy on emotions.

SAVE MONEY, get warmer for less! get a grant from the governement etc. reasons they need reasons.

SPACED

Security
performance
Appearance
Comfort
Economy
Durability

those are the only reasons people buy ANYTHING. different people buy the same thing for different reasons. Your copy needs to press as many buttons of as many people as possible.

 

[directmarketingadvice]

Award winning boiler offer while stocks last!/QUOTE]

Firstly, what award did it win? And, what does that mean? e.g. was it "the UK's best combi boiler"?

Secondly, the "while stocks last" in the headline isn't explained later in the copy. If anything, it's undermined by the reference to a "bulk order".

Thirdly, the "Only £1649" won't mean much to most prospects. You should give a reference point to put that into context - e.g. using a RRP or your standard price for this.

Generally, the ad is missing a central theme or proposition - i.e. a reason why this is of interest. Once you have that, you can use it as a headline. But, at the moment, you're not hitting the spot.

Hope this helps,

Steve

 

[G. Lasagne]

Award winning boiler offer while stocks last!/QUOTE]

Firstly, what award did it win? And, what does that mean? e.g. was it "the UK's best combi boiler"?

Secondly, the "while stocks last" in the headline isn't explained later in the copy. If anything, it's undermined by the reference to a "bulk order".

Thirdly, the "Only £1649" won't mean much to most prospects. You should give a reference point to put that into context - e.g. using a RRP or your standard price for this.

Generally, the ad is missing a central theme or proposition - i.e. a reason why this is of interest. Once you have that, you can use it as a headline. But, at the moment, you're not hitting the spot.

Hope this helps,

Steve

the first bullet point

i cant really have a reccomended rrp as there is no such thing when it comes to supply and fit.

it is of interest to people who need a new boiler, there only 2 ads in my local paper advertising a heating installation offer, and mine is £800+vat cheaper, but theres comes with a 8 year warranty.
I know theres does really well as i rang them about it and they told me they were fully booked until januray, i suppose trial and error is the best thing, but at £100 a week i'd rather get it right sooner than later

 

[G. Lasagne]

Ok this one next please ?
thanks in advance everyone

Award winning boiler offer - Limited stock!

Are you sick of shopping around for the best price?
Here at Gas Angel we have put together our best offer
yet, due to a bulk order you can have the Baxi
duo-tec 28he supplied and fitted, plus
extras at cost price(or our lowest price).
If you have had a better like for like quote then give us a
call we would love to try and beat it.

• Which and CORGI boiler of the year
• 2 year guarantee on parts and labour
• 2 years free servicing for you warranty
• Offer includes TRV's,Powerfl ush and
wireless room stat

Only £1649 (inc vat) Normal price £1989

Call 0191 289 3464 / 0800 8600 897
Visit our website for more fantastic
offers.
www.gasangelheating.co.uk ___

 

[Scott-Copywriter]

Ok this one next please ?
thanks in advance everyone

Award winning boiler offer - Limited stock!

Are you sick of shopping around for the best price?
Here at Gas Angel we have put together our best offer
yet, due to a bulk order you can have the Baxi
duo-tec 28he supplied and fitted, plus
extras at cost price(or our lowest price).
If you have had a better like for like quote then give us a
call we would love to try and beat it.

• Which and CORGI boiler of the year
• 2 year guarantee on parts and labour
• 2 years free servicing for you warranty
• Offer includes TRV’s,Powerfl ush and
wireless room stat

Only £1649 (inc vat) Normal price £1989

Call 0191 289 3464 / 0800 8600 897
Visit our website for more fantastic
offers.
www.gasangelheating.co.uk ___

Why still use the award winning headline? It won't grab anyone's attention or influence anyone into reading the ad.

With a small ad you're only going to get people who are actively looking for boilers already. 3-4 sentences will not convince anyone to think about buying a boiler out of the blue. You then need to look at the factors of buying in this circumstance:

1). Price
2). Good product
3). Warranty

Just hit them with the immediate information of what you're selling. Don't necessarily tell them the price, just tell them that it's considerably cheaper than many other places and they're almost gone. Create scarcity and make it urgent. Tell them to call for a quote, and if they are looking to buy a boiler, then very few of them will miss such an opportunity.

 

[OldWelshGuy]

What size is this advert? Is it 10x2 (SCCM's)

 

[G. Lasagne]

What size is this advert? Is it 10x2 (SCCM's)

15x3 if that means anything to you

 

[OldWelshGuy]

15x3 if that means anything to you

15cm tall by 3 columns wide. Most newspapers are either 8 or 9 columns wide.


OWG slouches off to remove the anorak that slipped on without him noticing

 

[G. Lasagne]

Why still use the award winning headline? It won't grab anyone's attention or influence anyone into reading the ad.

With a small ad you're only going to get people who are actively looking for boilers already. 3-4 sentences will not convince anyone to think about buying a boiler out of the blue. You then need to look at the factors of buying in this circumstance:

1). Price
2). Good product
3). Warranty

Just hit them with the immediate information of what you're selling. Don't necessarily tell them the price, just tell them that it's considerably cheaper than many other places and they're almost gone. Create scarcity and make it urgent. Tell them to call for a quote, and if they are looking to buy a boiler, then very few of them will miss such an opportunity.

I know this is your field of expertise but i kind of disagree with some of the things you have said

Imagine your either looking for or you are considering buying a new boiler.

How would the headline "Award winning boiler - limited stock" not grab your attention?

Surely the fact its got boiler in the title is enough to get you to read it?
nevermind the rest.

The price is a reason to buy surely, and cant be a negative, and by showing the normal price im showing the saving they can make another reason to buy?

also you pointed out that one of the factors of buying is price, and then told me to not include the price?

1)Price - £1689(inc vat) normal price £1989
2)good product - which and Corgi boiler of the year
3)warranty - 2 year warranty and 2 years free servicing

Am i missing something

Im getting a headache again!!

Can you give me an example of a better headline and even a better ad

 

[OldWelshGuy]

The headline

Corgi Boiler of the year 2009
Which magazine 'Best Buy'
Baxi Duo-tec Combi HE
Limited Stock Available


High Efficiency
Lower running costs
lower emmisions
and NOW a LOW LOW price (limited availability)

----------------------

I am not suggesting the above is used as copy, but it makes use of independent respected 3rd part endorsements, as well as well known brands (even though Corgi no longer exists as an entitiy)

WHICH magazine, CORGI, BAXI, COMBI, All familiar words, and words that are associated with quality of product. Then we have some other benefits, lower costs, etc, the emmissions hit the green tree huggers also.

Thnik about WHY people will buy the product, and build your advert back from there.

 

[G. Lasagne]

The headline

Corgi Boiler of the year 2009
Which magazine 'Best Buy'
Baxi Duo-tec Combi HE
Limited Stock Available


High Efficiency
Lower running costs
lower emmisions
and NOW a LOW LOW price (limited availability)

----------------------

I am not suggesting the above is used as copy, but it makes use of independent respected 3rd part endorsements, as well as well known brands (even though Corgi no longer exists as an entitiy)

WHICH magazine, CORGI, BAXI, COMBI, All familiar words, and words that are associated with quality of product. Then we have some other benefits, lower costs, etc, the emmissions hit the green tree huggers also.

Thnik about WHY people will buy the product, and build your advert back from there.

I dont see how those headlines are any better than the one i have ??

and the words you mention are already in the ad?

Although the advise from everybody is appreciated i feel that maybe people arent reading the ad befor posting, everything above is included in the ad already, or am i missing something.

Dont want to sound ungrateful because i am

 

[G. Lasagne]

here is the ad again


Award winning boiler offer - Limited stock!

Are you sick of shopping around for the best price?
Here at Gas Angel we have put together our best offer
yet, due to a bulk order you can have the Baxi
duo-tec 28he supplied and fitted, plus
extras at cost price(or our lowest price).
If you have had a better like for like quote then give us a
call we would love to try and beat it.

• Which and CORGI boiler of the year
• 2 year guarantee on parts and labour
• 2 years free servicing for you warranty
• Offer includes TRV's,Powerfl ush and
wireless room stat

Only £1649 (inc vat) Normal price £1989

Call 0191 289 3464 / 0800 8600 897
Visit our website for more fantastic
offers.
www.gasangelheating.co.uk ___

 

[OldWelshGuy]

Corgi & WHICH Award winning boiler offer -
Limited stock!

Are you sick of shopping around for the best price?
Here at Gas Angel we have put together our best offer
yet, due to a bulk order you can have the Baxi
duo-tec 28he supplied and fitted, plus
extras at cost price(or our lowest price).
If you have had a better like for like quote then give us a
call we would love to try and beat it.

• Which and CORGI boiler of the year
• 2 year guarantee on parts and labour
• 2 years free servicing for you warranty
• Offer includes TRV's,Powerfl ush and
wireless room stat

Only £1649 (inc vat) Normal price £1989

 

[OldWelshGuy]

The way it works on a page is

movement (none on a print page so doesn't count)
Images faces/people first, then other images
headline. If the headline doesn't grab them, then thewy don't read the sub header or the body copy.

heading is god.

 

[Kev Jaques]

I would certainly play with the top portion and incorporate some of the lines OWG and others have given.

Not sure on how many of these you have written yet but the more you do of them the easier they become to keep finding new ideas/angles and consistently too.
You could be writing 30+ of these to get you into the swing of things, remember it's not about you, its about them and once you get into that mindset those ideas and angles will come.

I would say you need at least 2-3 main things in the top section, then let the bullets take care of the rest. Also the limited offer where the price is as others have mentioned.

 

[Lucan Unlordly]

Have I missed something here?

Your selling a £700 boiler for £1650 Which with the free bits and pieces you are chucking in appears to make the fitting around £700????

I know you gas guys charge like a raging bull but the 'low price boiler' tempo of the ad doesn't seem to match up when fitting costs are almost slipped in as an aside.

 

[willitbe]

Have I missed something here?

Your selling a £700 boiler for £1650 Which with the free bits and pieces you are chucking in appears to make the fitting around £700????

I know you gas guys charge like a raging bull but the 'low price boiler' tempo of the ad doesn't seem to match up when fitting costs are almost slipped in as an aside.

They charge more than the light brigade!

A boiler swap is a days job. The problem with stating the model is that people will Google it. Could you not state " A high end Baxi Combi-boiler" ?

 

[Colin Parker]

I know this is your field of expertise but i kind of disagree with some of the things you have said

Imagine your either looking for or you are considering buying a new boiler.

How would the headline "Award winning boiler - limited stock" not grab your attention?

Surely the fact its got boiler in the title is enough to get you to read it?
nevermind the rest.

The price is a reason to buy surely, and cant be a negative, and by showing the normal price im showing the saving they can make another reason to buy?

also you pointed out that one of the factors of buying is price, and then told me to not include the price?

1)Price - £1689(inc vat) normal price £1989
2)good product - which and Corgi boiler of the year
3)warranty - 2 year warranty and 2 years free servicing

Am i missing something

Im getting a headache again!!

Can you give me an example of a better headline and even a better ad

Including 'award winning' in the headline is typical of a business focusing on what is important to them and not the potential customer.

Do you really believe that when someone wants a new boiler they think "I must check that it's won an award"? Of course they don't so including that in the headline is a waste of valuable words because the headline is THE part of the ad that attracts most attention.

The single biggest reason IMO why the first ad worked was the headline. 'Exclusive Offer For News Guardian Readers' implies to the reader that the offer is genuine, the company is approved by the newspaper and perhaps even that the product has been vetted for quality etc.

And here is the point everyone has missed!

There is no mention of boiler in the original headline.

And this will be a big reason why the first ad worked. Why? Because 'Exclusive Offer For News Guardian Readers' is obviously an attention grabbing headline for readers of the paper. Many may have bought other offers in the past, associate the headline with a bargain, and therefore they always check out what the latest offer is.

This massively increases the number of readers who read the ad and therefore massively increases your chances of getting a response.

In my 20+ years in direct response advertising I have used this tactic of not mentioning the product/service in the headline many times and it has produced some of my most spectacular results.

In small newspaper ads one of the best headlines I have ever used to get response for many products/services is WANTED! For example:

WANTED!
Homeowners who want to
stay warm this winter ...

Don't wait until your old
boiler let's you down on
the coldest night of the
year ...

Because right now you
can save up to £XXX on
the award winning XXXXX
boiler.

But hurry ... this offer ends
on XXXX. Call now for a
free quotation. It's a cool
offer that will kep you warm
this winter!

I bashed this ad in two minutes and if I spent a bit more time I could refine it a bit more - I've put 'award winning' in just to keep the OP happy!

The headline will get attention (it should be big, bold and dominate the ad), the copy talks to the reader and is not full of boring technical bullet points and it has a call to action with a deadline offer closing date.

Plus it mentions the savings to be made but not the actual price - that is deliberate because you want people ringing up and asking "how much are your boilers". Once you have them on the phone it's up to you to get out there and sell them one.

Try this ad - the Geordies who read the News Guardian will lap it up!

Colin Parker

 

[G. Lasagne]

Have I missed something here?

Your selling a £700 boiler for £1650 Which with the free bits and pieces you are chucking in appears to make the fitting around £700????

I know you gas guys charge like a raging bull but the 'low price boiler' tempo of the ad doesn't seem to match up when fitting costs are almost slipped in as an aside.

You may think its expensive but my lads are on £12 per hour and i have other overheads, plus its a lot cheaper than a lot of companies, some companies will look to make over £1000, british gas nearer £2000.
After wages/parts etc i make around £500-£600.

The offer has changed now to:

HIGH EFFICIENCY VOKERA BOILER OFFER.

with 5 year warranty, free servicing, free magnetite filter etc etc etc

the ad is doing ok but its only in week 2, i dont want to remove it until ive given it at least a month, and then i will trial another offer, which is better to be hones its a Band A Ideal logic plus with a 5 year warranty etc, for only £1620(inc vat), but like i say i want to give teh vokera one a fair trial first.

Thanks for all your advice

 

[G. Lasagne]

Including 'award winning' in the headline is typical of a business focusing on what is important to them and not the potential customer.

Do you really believe that when someone wants a new boiler they think "I must check that it's won an award"? Of course they don't so including that in the headline is a waste of valuable words because the headline is THE part of the ad that attracts most attention.

The single biggest reason IMO why the first ad worked was the headline. 'Exclusive Offer For News Guardian Readers' implies to the reader that the offer is genuine, the company is approved by the newspaper and perhaps even that the product has been vetted for quality etc.

And here is the point everyone has missed!

There is no mention of boiler in the original headline.

And this will be a big reason why the first ad worked. Why? Because 'Exclusive Offer For News Guardian Readers' is obviously an attention grabbing headline for readers of the paper. Many may have bought other offers in the past, associate the headline with a bargain, and therefore they always check out what the latest offer is.

This massively increases the number of readers who read the ad and therefore massively increases your chances of getting a response.

In my 20+ years in direct response advertising I have used this tactic of not mentioning the product/service in the headline many times and it has produced some of my most spectacular results.

In small newspaper ads one of the best headlines I have ever used to get response for many products/services is WANTED! For example:

WANTED!
Homeowners who want to
stay warm this winter ...

Don't wait until your old
boiler let's you down on
the coldest night of the
year ...

Because right now you
can save up to £XXX on
the award winning XXXXX
boiler.

But hurry ... this offer ends
on XXXX. Call now for a
free quotation. It's a cool
offer that will kep you warm
this winter!

I bashed this ad in two minutes and if I spent a bit more time I could refine it a bit more - I've put 'award winning' in just to keep the OP happy!

The headline will get attention (it should be big, bold and dominate the ad), the copy talks to the reader and is not full of boring technical bullet points and it has a call to action with a deadline offer closing date.

Plus it mentions the savings to be made but not the actual price - that is deliberate because you want people ringing up and asking "how much are your boilers". Once you have them on the phone it's up to you to get out there and sell them one.

Try this ad - the Geordies who read the News Guardian will lap it up!

Colin Parker

I see where your coming from, but it dosent leave any room to mention the features, 5 year warranty, 5 years free servicing etc etc, which are good selling points, but i can definately see your thinking behind the ad

Dave