Free work doesn't pay off and unappreciated. Should I cover the cost as well?

[Auto_work]

Hey, back here again to get get some advice.

I offered to provide my service for free to a friend as a favour and explained there were minimum costs. I know... I know. Don't offer to do your work for free, you devalued yourself. I've learnt my lesson.

Let's say I covered the costs for a couple of years to be able to give my friend a demo of what to expect and evaluate if it would benefit her business etc. On the third year, I asked her to cover full costs and explained the payment doesn't come to me, my time and effort are absolutely free. She asked to split that amount per month ( which mean I paid the cost upfront ) and set up direct debit to repay me. Now every time of the month when the payment came out of her bank, she would send me a message and asked me to explain what she is paying for as she thought I would be working for free for her. I explained again and again until I'm exhausted and take screenshots and resend those every month. This month, something new as a feedback that my service doesn't actually help her business and her other friend offered to do it for free. Now my question. Should I just offer to cover the rest just to cut the crap and restore my peace?

 

[Newchodge]

Hey, back here again to get get some advice.

I offered to provide my service for free to a friend as a favour and explained there were minimum costs. I know... I know. Don't offer to do your work for free, you devalued yourself. I've learnt my lesson.

Let's say I covered the costs for a couple of years to be able to give my friend a demo of what to expect and evaluate if it would benefit her business etc. On the third year, I asked her to cover full costs and explained the payment doesn't come to me, my time and effort are absolutely free. She asked to split that amount per month ( which mean I paid the cost upfront ) and set up direct debit to repay me. Now every time of the month when the payment came out of her bank, she would send me a message and asked me to explain what she is paying for as she thought I would be working for free for her. I explained again and again until I'm exhausted and take screenshots and resend those every month. This month, something new as a feedback that my service doesn't actually help her business and her other friend offered to do it for free. Now my question. Should I just offer to cover the rest just to cut the crap and restore my peace?

Tell her to cut the crap and use someone else.

 

[fisicx]

Walk away and never talk to her again. Stop providing the service today.

 

[Paul Kelly ICHYB]

Tell her to cut the crap and use someone else.

Walk away and never talk to her again.

Pretty much says it all!

 

[Russ Michaels]

why on earth would you provide a service for free that actually costs you money.this person is clearly going to cause you headaches no matter what, so I just wouldn't;t do any work for them, paid or otherwise.
Tell them o go to this other person who said they will do it free, let them with with the headaches.

 

[BusterBloodvessel]

I don't even know why this is a question. Stop doing the work. Walk away. She can't accuse you of leaving her in the lurch, because she's already said she's got another friend that can do it.

Your answer is "OK, I will leave you to work with them on it and with you the best".

And I'd seriously consider whether that person you have there is "a friend"!! With friends like that you certainly don't need enemies.

 

[Auto_work]

I guess the question is just walk away and leave the money ( that was paid upfront ) or bear with it until the direct debit complete to at least cover the cost for this year?

 

[Newchodge]

I guess the question is just walk away and leave the money ( that was paid upfront ) or bear with it until the direct debit complete to at least cover the cost for this year?

If it is being paid by monthly direct debit, how can it be paid up front?

 

[Auto_work]

If it is being paid by monthly direct debit, how can it be paid up front?

I paid upfront to allow her to pay back monthly. Spreading out the cost for her basically.

 

[Newchodge]

I paid upfront to allow her to pay back monthly. Spreading out the cost for her basically.

That money has gone. Put up with the hassle to possibly recover t or let it go and walk away. Only you can choose.

 

[Auto_work]

I don't even know why this is a question. Stop doing the work. Walk away. She can't accuse you of leaving her in the lurch, because she's already said she's got another friend that can do it.

Your answer is "OK, I will leave you to work with them on it and with you the best".

And I'd seriously consider whether that person you have there is "a friend"!! With friends like that you certainly don't need enemies.

Well said! Haha. I certainly don't need it.

 

[pentel]

If this is a website time to close it down and let the other person start from scratch.

 

[JEREMY HAWKE]

Tell her to feck off

 

[fisicx]

If this is a website time to close it down and let the other person start from scratch.

Agree. Shut it down and move on.

 

[Mark T Jones]

All of the above

You have acknowledged the most important lesson - never under-value your profession

If you do stuff free or discounted, make sure they know the real value, the reason why you are doing it cheap and parameters

 

[eteb3]

My other half works for herself and is regularly asked by charities and community efforts for reduced rates or even free work. She’d recognise your experience so here are her hard-won lessons:

She blocks 4 hours in her week for free / discounted work and is choosy about who gets to use them. If the hours are already booked the answer is always no.

She also invoices at full rate with a second line showing the discount - even if it’s 100%

people getting anything free other than as a one-off quickly forget they’re getting a favour. You have to make it quite clear what hit you’re taking so they don’t start taking the mick

 

[Newchodge]

My other half works for herself and is regularly asked by charities and community efforts for reduced rates or even free work. She’d recognise your experience so here’s what she does:

She blocks 4 hours in her week for free work and is choosy about who gets to use them. If the hours are already booked the answer is always no.

She also invoices at full rate with a second line showing the discount - even if it’s 100%

people getting anything free other than as a one-off quickly forget they’re getting a favour. You have to make it quite clear what hit you’re taking so they don’t start taking the mick

That's a good idea.

 

[Paul Norman]

A number of people above have said just end the arrangement.

I agree.

They are correct.

You are having the wee wee taken here. Politely point that out, end the arrangement, and focus on revenue generation for your business.

 

[BusterBloodvessel]

My other half works for herself and is regularly asked by charities and community efforts for reduced rates or even free work. She’d recognise your experience so here are her hard-won lessons:

She blocks 4 hours in her week for free / discounted work and is choosy about who gets to use them. If the hours are already booked the answer is always no.

She also invoices at full rate with a second line showing the discount - even if it’s 100%

people getting anything free other than as a one-off quickly forget they’re getting a favour. You have to make it quite clear what hit you’re taking so they don’t start taking the mick

Good idea.

I play in a band and we're always getting asked to play for free at charity events. Often with "could you just play for half an hour then?".... forgetting the usual 90 minutes on stage is insignificant to the 2 hours before and 2 hours after packing the cars, driving, setting up, waiting to go on etc!

Sort of similar to the above we do a regular charity gig each year for the same charity, and then we take it in turns in the band to choose a charity or event we want to support, so we do 2 a year. When people ask we just explain "sorry, we get asked all the time and so we make a decision to support 2 free charity events annually, sadly we've booked those for this year".

It can feel awkward but never be afraid to politely refuse these types of request, particularly if you already do "something", whatever it may be.

 

[zomex]

I think it depends on how much money we are talking and what that money means to you. If it's an amount you can afford to loose it may be best to cut it and learn from it.

Sadly as I get older I am a big believer in nice guys finish last. If you're too nice people will walk all over you. I have found myself in a similar situation many times.

 

[glengraving]

The most important step in a situation like this, after you have acted on the above advice, is to come back and update us with her reaction and any extra gossip. Remember, advice given here is provided free, but there are minimum costs (entertainment).

 

[Porky]

IMO There is justification for doing something FOC in some situations ie;

You volunteer to do work for a short period ie up to say 3 mths to train and gain valuable skills that are transferable to a paying job elsewhere if the Free placing doesn't take you on at the end of the training period.

In the above situation it can materially help get you into a paying job elsewhere having proven you can do the work and reliable etc.

In this specific case it sounds like there is no real timed agreed end game to move to paid The OP being taken for a mug by the sounds of it but then I dont know what the "expenses are" or fully understand these "upfront costs" being repaid but at the end of the day if it's not working out by now and there is no.percieved value add then it's time to move on and cut losses. Issue final invoice for what was left owed to this point and go your own separate ways.

Good luck