Feedback for our charity proposal

[mindatrisk]

The charity I work with is looking for new premises in London. We are contacting property developers to inquire about any vacant premises they might have that we could use. This is a first draft of a proposal. Any feedback would be a great help. Thanks!

......

We are Food For All, a registered UK food bank charity, delivering 2000 free hot meals every day throughout London to those in need utilising waste, surplus and donated food items. We have 30 years of expertise, a dedicated team of full and part-time volunteers, and have won multiple awards for our work, both in the UK and internationally.

Why are we writing to you?

We are always looking to expand our operation. Our mission is to redistribute as much food waste as possible to those in need through delicious, healthy meals. Our mission is global. We have a passion that is endless and that will not rest until poverty - all poverty - is ended.

Right now we need new premises. The reality for us is that renting or buying property in London is not a possibility. We utterly depend upon the goodwill of others to provide us with working and living space for our projects, and, so far, we have been incredibly blessed, and constantly amazed by the generosity of our supporters. But we know that there are many thousands of vacant premises in London alone - some of which you may own (hence writing to you!) - that sit unused for many years, but that which we could make extraordinary use of.

Why should you give us a building?

Well, first of all, we have no doubts that you care about the state of our world and already do much work to help make it a better place. But we are not writing to you asking for charity. Those empty buildings which would be so precious to us also cost you a lot of money each year. Our proposal is that we move a team of live-in guardians - who would develop and deliver our project goals - to keep the building secure, but, more significantly for you, the charity use of the property would give you an 80% property tax discount.

What will we do with the building?

A team of full-time volunteers would live in the building as property guardians whilst developing and delivering our project, which would include various models of redistributing food waste to those in need in the local community, including free food cafes, free food markets, and other models. More importantly, however, we will be developing and refining a model that can be replicated throughout the UK, and, through our skilled social media team, around the world, inspiring and guiding individuals and communities to develop their own free food services.

Why work with us?

Simply put? Because we are for real. For 30 years our projects have run on full and part-time volunteers alone. We do this work for little or no reward, but simply because we care so passionately about the happiness and well-being of humanity. And we know what we are doing. We are resourceful, effective, and very well connected, and, because we do this from the heart, people support us. We have a proven track record in doing exactly what we are proposing to you. You couldn't ask for a better, more dedicated and skilled group of people to work with.

A few statistics...

⦁ 700,000 children live in poverty in London out of a total of 2.3 million people in poverty - that's 27% of all Londoners
⦁ One third of all food produced worldwide is wasted, which amounts to 10 million tonnes in the UK each year alone
⦁ Those 10 million tonnes of food waste amount to 25 million tonnes of carbon emissions - 25 million tonnes of carbon emissions for nothing

In summary

We all care about poverty. We all agree that the amount of food wasted is crazy. And we all know how vital it is that we take care of our precious environment for all future generations to come. We care deeply about these issues, and we have dedicated our lives to resolving them, but we cannot do it without the support of others. It is as simple as that. We need your help... we really do, but the beautiful thing about our proposal is that it is win-win. Helping us is not a sacrifice for you, but a way that you can at once help to create a better world whilst saving huge amounts of money. This is how we like to operate. Not asking, taking, begging... but working together in mutual benefit towards our common goals.
We have a wonderful team of people. We have a vision and model that can be replicated - not just UK wide, but worldwide too. We have the experience, the knowledge, and the passion to make this a huge success. We believe in us, and we hope that you believe in us too, and that, together, we can create the kind of world that we will be proud to leave to our children. Thank you for reading.

 

[MOIC]

Well written and deserving of support.

 

[AllUpHere]

Well written and deserving of support.

I half agree. It seems like a good idea but it's not well written. You are going to put off a lot of prospects by making very basic mistakes. You shouldn't call the food 'waste' psychologically that gives a worrying impression. You also shouldn't imply that anyone is going to 'give you a building'. The ideas behind the copy aren't bad, but you need to be very careful with the way you word things. Equally, I read volunteer property guardians, and think squatters!

Pay a copywriter a few quid, and you could massively increase your chances of success, or better still, find a good one looking to do some pro bono work.

 

[MOIC]

If only I was a copywriter!

 

[mindatrisk]

I half agree. It seems like a good idea but it's not well written. You are going to put off a lot of prospects by making very basic mistakes. You shouldn't call the food 'waste' psychologically that gives a worrying impression. You also shouldn't imply that anyone is going to 'give you a building'. The ideas behind the copy aren't bad, but you need to be very careful with the way you word things. Equally, I read volunteer property guardians, and think squatters!

Pay a copywriter a few quid, and you could massively increase your chances of success, or better still, find a good one looking to do some pro bono work.

We actually have a copywriter within our extended volunteer team so no problem. I was actually just doing a rewrite. Not sure if it changes much, but your feedback (if you can be bothered to read again!) would be valued. The 'guardianship' concept is actually becoming very common now. It's legit.

.......

We are Food For All, a registered UK food bank charity, utilising surplus and donated food items to provide 2000 delicious, healthy and FREE hot meals six days a week throughout London to those in need. We have over 30 years of expertise, a dedicated team of full and part-time volunteers, and - alongside the over one million meals provided - have won multiple awards for our work, both in the UK and internationally.
Why are we writing to you?
We are always looking to expand our operation. With so much food surplus and so much poverty in the world, our mission is to redistribute as much of that waste as possible to those in need. Currently 700,000 children live in poverty in London alone, but, whilst charity begins at home, our mission is truly global, and we have a passion and a dedication that is endless and that will not rest until poverty - all poverty - is ended.
We have an idea. There are over 10,000 vacant premises in London alone. We want to put our dedicated teams into some of these buildings to serve as both guardian of the building (for your benefit!) and to deliver our vital community service. The reality for us is that renting or buying property in London is not a possibility. And the reality for you is that these empty buildings cost a lot of money over a lot of years as the lengthy process of redevelopment takes place. But we can help each other.
Our proposal is that you entrust us with some suitable buildings where our live-in teams will deliver our services. Not only will this save you significant amounts in security costs, but the very use of the premises for charity purposes will give you an 80% tax deduction on the property itself. I honestly have no idea how much money that would be for you, but I know London, and I know it's going to be a lot!
Why should you give us a building?
1. Because you care. Because you are as disgusted by child poverty, food surplus, and everything else that comes with it as we are.
2. Because this is what we do and we are damn good at it. We are already the UK's biggest provider of free hot meals, and there is all the need and all the potential there to expand that number astronomically. We have the team, we have expertise, and we have the model... but we do need help.
3. Because we've done this before. We currently have buildings on a similar arrangement with Birmingham Council and Barnet Council, as well as previous arrangements with other private developers. We've been tinkering with ideas and a model for a few years now, and now we are ready to implement.
4. Because - and this is worth repeating - it will save you a heck of a lot of money... whilst doing tremendous good! What's not to like?
What will we do with the building?
This will depend a lot on the type of building possibilities available to us, as well as location, amenities, and the local need. What we do is collect waste surplus, prepare it, and then redistribute it, and we have various models for doing that, from big cooks in VERY big pots, to free food cafes, and free food markets. At the moment we would love to reach low budget families. There is simply no excuse for 700,000 children living in poverty in London alone. If we could be suitably located to meet this need then this would be our biggest wish.
As great as such a premises would be, this is just one element of our intended operation. Within our live-in team would be a social media team whose simple focus is to capture, document and share the work that we do in the humble hope of inspiring others to develop and deliver their own free food services. We want every town and city in the world to be redistributing their food waste to those in need in local communities. Whilst bricks and mortar are vital, it is the model and the inspiration to make a difference to the world that we are truly dedicated to.
Why should you work with us?
Simply put? Because we are for real. For over 30 years our projects have run on full and part-time volunteers alone. That's not easy to do, by the way! But it does mean that the people who work with us do so out of nothing but the goodness of their hearts. Words cannot describe how powerful it is to work on a project shoulder to shoulder with those whose only reason to be there is because they truly care. Plus, we know what we are doing. This is our bread and butter. We are resourceful, connected, effective, efficient, innovative, creative, and, above all, we get things done. And, because we do this from the heart and people feel that, they support us. It's a powerful recipe, and you couldn't ask for a more dedicated group of people to work with and to support.
In summary
We all care about poverty. We all agree that the amount of food being wasted is crazy. And we all know how vital it is to do our small part in preserving our precious environment for all future generations to come. We care deeply about these issues, and we have dedicated our lives to resolving them, but - but - we cannot do it without the support of others. It is as simple as that. We need your help. The beauty of our proposal is that it is win-win. Helping us is not a sacrifice for you. You can at once help to make a difference to the world whilst also saving huge amount of money. That seems like a pretty cool deal! And this is how we like to operate. Not asking, not begging... but working together in mutual benefit towards a common goal.
We really do have a wonderful team of people. You are more than welcome to visit our main kitchen in Holborn and meet us all. It would be a pleasure. We have a vision and a model that can be replicated - not just UK wide, but worldwide too. We have the experience, the knowledge, and the passion to make this a huge success. We believe in us, and we hope that you believe in us too, and that, together, we can create the kind of world that we will be proud to leave to our children. Thank you for reading.

 

[billmccallum1957]

Property developers are businesses and expect to make a profit, it's likely that most of your letters will end up in the waste bin.

You should be targeting local councils and voluntary sector organisations who would be better placed to support what you want to achieve.

 

[Mr D]

Property developers will be looking to rent / sell. Perhaps that is what the organisation should be looking to do?
Not impossible - just takes considerable time to raise the funds.
Some hospices manage to do it in 20 years and end up with a suitable facility to do what is planned.

 

[Nico Albrecht]

We all agree that the amount of food being wasted is crazy

Unfortunately 90% of that is food wastage is caused by households not supermarkets and restaurants. My question and thinking is why not just get a couple food vans instead of a brick and mortar location. Much cheaper to operate. I could be wrong here on the food vans.

 

[paulears]

Live-in team still worries me, and the word 'give' that signifies permanence? The 24/7 operation could be a benefit though. The building would be safe and secure when it's at risk empty.

What worries me is that the entire thing reads like a business, not a charity. If I owned an empty property I think I'd be reluctant to enter into this because of the feel of the deal, and frankly while I do support some charities, food banks and living in poverty are not on my list because I simply do not trust many of the people using the system. Sure, there are genuine and worthy cases, but equally there are far more using food banks because they choose to spend their limited income on other things. I watched a person taking things from the collection at my Tesco, and I followed her to her car. A 63 plate BMW, with two kids, one of whom had an iPhone stuck to her thumb. She got in and lit up a cigarette. This is what prevents me having any empathy for these people. I'm sorry, but I'm unconvinced by the need for this kind of charity. I respect your reasons for running it, and I realise not everyone is like the Tesco woman, but so many homeless people are just not legit. Get rid of those and maybe I'd be more sympathetic? I do wish you luck with the project because you clearly believe in it. Just not sure how you convince people who have business heads, and perhaps are less considerate and less charitable.

 

[Mr D]

I get offered food bank vouchers. Have done for 15 plus years.
I don't look destitute, I do look disabled (I swear its the nose!).

Around 1% of the country use foodbanks. Not the most successful franchise around but not a bad model.

 

[kkfcXHzmCc]

Can you elaborate on the people being guardians? Are they living there rent free?

 

[Paul Norman]

The assumption that everyone cares about poverty is flawed, of course. You clearly do. I do, as it happens. Many others here do - everyone here, for all I know.

But not everyone. Otherwise more would be done to alleviate it.

But of course, you letter doesn't need to appeal to everyone, just one person, and I wish you all the very best with that.

I personally would make it shorter, and more to the point. The purpose of your letter is to get in front of someone to discuss ways in which they might help - there are a number of ways - so leave that fairly open.

Possibly the people most likely to help would be people with spare capacity in some space they use, rather than someone with empty property.

 

[ethical PR]

It makes no sense to me that a food distribution charity like yours would develop a model based on volunteers living in, in the accommodation you provide a service from.

No Guardianship type scheme is going to let you take over a building for your volunteers and allow you to run a commercial kitchen which as you know has to comply with certain health and safety standards.

You would have much more success following the models that other charities doing what you do, do, which is to hire out low cost community venues with kitchens. This is what the voluntary organisation I am part of does, as well as many others throughout the country.

I am sure it is not the case but it feels more like you are looking to accommodate your volunteers more than looking for premises to operate from.

I do understand the value of bringing empty properties back into use, so why not approach property developers and local/central government (having identified empty properties that might be suitable for your catering operation). You could offer a low cost rent and would also need to cover the cost of upgrades needed.

By the way I know of at least one place in Bristol that was a former social enterprise cafe that is standing empty that you could look into. Contact me if you want details.

By the way your website has quite a few coding errors showing which need fixing.

 

[anon327046]

Property developers are businesses and expect to make a profit, it's likely that most of your letters will end up in the waste bin.

You should be targeting local councils and voluntary sector organisations who would be better placed to support what you want to achieve.

You could also contact your local CO-OP as several have changed their distribution centres and some may have older property stock they would be willing help.