I was in BNI for 3+ years and recently left it.
BNI works best if everyone is singing from the same hymn sheet, what we found was that many didn't.
It was the same people who went on all the training events.
It was the same people who ended up on the leadership team just rotating around positions.
It was the same people passing similar referrals, to the same person each week. Do you really need to pass a referral everytime someone in the office orders a pack of pens?
For us externals referrals were rare, most were internal referrals from the same 3-5 members.
Despite some leaving before we did, and some still remaining now, we still do work with the same people.
Admittedly I wouldn't have met them without BNI, but the time was right to leave.
When dealing with some of the clients we do, the person who is ordering the print or signage isn't the person who will deal with the window blinds, or the IT systems, and have a procurement framework in place.
2 of my best referrals came naturally, one of our customers required a new ecom website, and spent over £20k with the Web company through, and the other was for a building extension, that a friend of mine asked for a decent builder on Facebook.
BNI is only as good as the group of people in it, and the team running it. Everyone has goals from BNI and like all marketing campaigns, if you're not getting the results it's time to try something different.
Nothing to do with fear of meeting people... just basic business, if the ROI is worth your time, money and effort, then sure sing from the rooftops, but networking is not a one stop solution for everyone.