A 30 Second Pitch...

[mindatrisk]

I transform the way people think. I change how you perceive problems. I don’t solve your problems. I show you how you can solve your problems. Effectively. Efficiently. With my formula, problems are opportunities. Problems are embraced. Problems are your greatest asset. Your thinking will be transformed. No problems… only opportunity. No detriments… only growth. No stagnation… only YOUR unparalleled growth.

..........

What do people think? I am a new business, i have no case studies to support what i do and no stats to reinforce what i say. But i don't think this is too necessary for a 30 second pitch, right? Just so long as i get peoples interest.

Does this pitch make you want to know more? If not, why not? If so, why so?

 

[Weisbrod]

Hey look... your number one for the search , "I"

No worries... I over use the I in we too often as well...

 

[jdpos]

This guys lost his marbles!

either that or he's P****D!

 

[Scott-Copywriter]

If I listened to your pitch I would be confused and have absolutely no idea what you actually provide as a service.

 

[telemax]

Hi

I'm going to assume that you are not totally bonkers,

but how about

Hi I'm ABC from xyz consultants?

How would you feel if we could help you solve specific work problems?

 

[garysumpter]

'I have a dream'

Seriously, to me its boring, i would be wondering what on earth you are talking about

Gary

 

[mindatrisk]

I'm going to assume that you are not totally bonkers,

Yours would be a subjective assumption and i assure you that relative to you and what ticks over in your mind i would most definitely be bonkers. But i am sure you have lots of nice ties so i can't imagine you care. Good luck with soul rot!

 

[DuaneJackson]

What do people think?

I'd think you must be an Ecademy blackstar!

 

[mindatrisk]

'I have a dream'

Seriously, to me its boring, i would be wondering what on earth you are talking about

Gary

But then again i kind of feel like i need that sort of filter. I want to work with progressive, open minded people, and seperating the wheat from the chaff is pretty much seperating the judgers from the curious. I'd rather you see it as boring and stay out of my way than have something bland and be drowned in a sea of corporate retards. No offence or anything. I don't mean to be cruel or anything because i am sure you are happy with your place as i am mine, and we wouldn't swap, but i do think i need to be controversial rather than seeking to please all. I might be wrong.

 

[mindatrisk]

I'd think you must be an Ecademy blackstar!

Could you explain please?

 

[DuaneJackson]

http://www.ecademy.com/

It's where the emotional millionaires hang out. Lots of life coaches and such, They have various levels of membership - blackstar being the top level.

 

[mindatrisk]

Oh right okay, well i'm not! I'm only 25. I wrote a philosophy on the nature of happiness and i am interested in engineering perspective but not with millionaires. It would be too absurd. I'd just laugh at their silliness and upset them.

 

[DuaneJackson]

They're not financial millionaires - they're emotional millionaires : )

My bank wont let me pay the mortgage with smiles and laughter though.

What was the philosophy for? Uni?

If you're coming at it from an engineering perspective, you should mention that in your pitch. It could be what differentiates you from the crowd and might pique the interest of some of those that see it all as happy-clappy-hippy stuff. (They're usually into the science side of things).

 

[CarolineICE]

For goodness sake...I've read most of your posts with interest(probably for the wrong reasons). Get a grip on reality. You are posting on a BUSINESS FORUM. You have an idea...great...to get it out there you need to market it...shock horror you need to be able to sell. You are taking the stick you are getting with great aplomb but let's make no bones, you are trying to sell something. What it is I don't know because it is so subjective even an ancient Greek philosopher would have a job understanding it.

You are seriously getting on my nerves now.Please tell me what exactly you do.

Caroline
(tongue firmly in cheek)

 

[Dawg]

Hi Caroline,
Nice new strap line.
I think OP is a wanna change worlder, which is entirely respectable in youth. Commendable too that the instrument for change is not gurucentric, multi-incontinental or such, but refreshingly prosaic: Call Centres as an instrument of salvation, who'd a thought?

 

[CarolineICE]

No offence Dawg,

but you talk nearly as much shix as our illustrious friend! And I agree, a call centre is completely prosaic, and yes I agree with you again...shucks you have me....I love Dawg!!But the OP is mistaken...:redface:

 

[mindatrisk]

Hi Caroline,
Nice new strap line.
I think OP is a wanna change worlder, which is entirely respectable in youth. Commendable too that the instrument for change is not gurucentric, multi-incontinental or such, but refreshingly prosaic: Call Centres as an instrument of salvation, who'd a thought?

Lol i prefer call centres as a conduit for salvation. I figure this... i could write a book, i could do seminars, i could pull oh-so compassionate smiles into camera's, or i could use the system to my advantage. Call centre work sucks, people there are vulnerable and miserable, in other words they are open. Salvation by stealth, i'd like to think.

 

[mindatrisk]

For goodness sake...I've read most of your posts with interest(probably for the wrong reasons). Get a grip on reality. You are posting on a BUSINESS FORUM. You have an idea...great...to get it out there you need to market it...shock horror you need to be able to sell. You are taking the stick you are getting with great aplomb but let's make no bones, you are trying to sell something. What it is I don't know because it is so subjective even an ancient Greek philosopher would have a job understanding it.

You are seriously getting on my nerves now.Please tell me what exactly you do.

Caroline
(tongue firmly in cheek)

(tongue firmly in ice bun) I can sell. 'Please tell me what exactly you do'... is this not interest generated? 'You are taking the stick with great aplomb'... Is my example not the best advert for my ideas? 'I've read most of your posts with interest'... need i say more? '(probably for the wrong reasons)'... maybe i do... but then again, as they say, all publicity is good publicity (a flawed notion if ever i heard one).

You are right, it is subjective, but only in the same way eating diets are subjective, but there is still a formula for good health. In other words, you can all think as you please, your mental diet will always be utterly unique and therefore subjective, but there is a formula for a healthy mind and this is what i shall attempt to sell. Your thinking will remain yours, and it shall remain subjective, but you will understand how to use your thinking to your benefit etc. etc.

Now, if you really really really want to know more then go to this dear old thread here:

http://www.ukbusinessforums.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=60003

And help me to help you to help others. Do be quick though, i have limited time and i am already helping oh so many others.

 

[mindatrisk]

They're not financial millionaires - they're emotional millionaires : )

My bank wont let me pay the mortgage with smiles and laughter though.

What was the philosophy for? Uni?

If you're coming at it from an engineering perspective, you should mention that in your pitch. It could be what differentiates you from the crowd and might pique the interest of some of those that see it all as happy-clappy-hippy stuff. (They're usually into the science side of things).

Happy-clappy-hippy stuff? Did i miss a meeting? When did compassion and love become derogatory??? Oh wait, my mistake, wrong planet... arhh yes, Earth, the galactic backwaters ay? Of course, you want the £££££ CHA-CHING!!! My mistake. Hmmm well perspective engineer i am... is this a new term? I could google it. I thought it up a while ago but rejected it as utterly pretentious, but maybe that sort of silliness goes in this £££££ cloud cuckoo land.

I like posting here. I usually post only at a philosophy site, they seem to catch my driftwood a little easier. I feel i may be coming a spectacle here. Still, always fun to jolt the zombie minds.

 

[JoeStankaitis]

To me your opening pitch sounds like some kind of cheesy American-esque "send me 10 dollars and I'll transform your life" B.S that I wouldn't/couldn't take seriously. No offence intended.........just my opinion.

 

[Cornish Steve]

I think...I can...I want...I...I...I.

This is how your spiel comes across to me. This is reinforced when you say you don't care for those who don't understand your message.

Well, quite frankly, you ought to care! Business is all about them - customers - not about me, me, me. I must understand the customer; customers couldn't really care about me otherwise. And my message must be clear, not a cryptic crossword clue.

As a start, I'd shift the emphasis from 'me, me, me' to 'you, you, you'. And forget all the philosophical meandering; it counts for nowt in this context. Sorry.

 

[Weisbrod]

Lol i prefer call centres as a conduit for salvation. I figure this... i could write a book, i could do seminars, i could pull oh-so compassionate smiles into camera's, or i could use the system to my advantage. Call centre work sucks, people there are vulnerable and miserable, in other words they are open. Salvation by stealth, i'd like to think.

That's the problem... your a trickster... "The Secret" is yesterdays trend... too many of you are running around wreaking absolute and total havoc with everyone and their lives...

The problem with people like you is that nothing matters but "I"... the world revolves around you... nobody cares about you... not when they can see that you care only about yourself... greed is getting a bad reputation...

even the goths are lightening up... the sadists are starting to trip through the daisies... the machochists are reversing roles to experience more... people are living life to live it... not to take advantage of it anymore... that's why you sound out of wack... your out of date and behind the times...

hope that helps...

 

[directmarketingadvice]

To me your opening pitch sounds like some kind of cheesy American-esque "send me 10 dollars and I'll transform your life" B.S

"Greetings, friends. Do you wish to look as happy as me? Well, you've got the power inside you right now. So use it and send one dollar to Happy Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. Don't delay. Eternal happiness is just a dollar away."

(Simpsons fans will get this)

Steve

P.S. Mr. Burns: "One dollar for eternal happiness. Mmmm ... I'd be happier with the dollar".

 

[mindatrisk]

That's the problem... your a trickster... "The Secret" is yesterdays trend... too many of you are running around wreaking absolute and total havoc with everyone and their lives...

The problem with people like you is that nothing matters but "I"... the world revolves around you... nobody cares about you... not when they can see that you care only about yourself... greed is getting a bad reputation...

even the goths are lightening up... the sadists are starting to trip through the daisies... the machochists are reversing roles to experience more... people are living life to live it... not to take advantage of it anymore... that's why you sound out of wack... your out of date and behind the times...

hope that helps...

Wow you got all of this from some postings on a business forum? You have helped. It is important that i present myself in accordance with what i have to offer, and maybe i am not doing that so well right now, but this is practice, i am setting up a business without any business skills or business respect and i need to learn, so all i can do is give it a go and then listen carefully to what others say and keep learning. There is no way i could take offence at what you or anyone else says because some words on a screen do not comprise all that i am, and i am not insecure enough to be concerned about those who judge based on such limited information. Your post is helpful though, and thank you.

 

[CrowdMagnets]

What you want is an "Elevator Pitch". Imagine that you get in the lift with someone and you have to tell them the most important information about your business by the time you get out of the lift.

 

[mindatrisk]

To me your opening pitch sounds like some kind of cheesy American-esque "send me 10 dollars and I'll transform your life" B.S that I wouldn't/couldn't take seriously. No offence intended.........just my opinion.

No worries, i appreciate your opinion. I need to be careful. I am selling a philosophy on happiness and a system of thinking... it parallels with the 'life skills' stuff in America, but Mars Bars run parallel with apples (food stuff) but you can't disregard the apple by association. So yeah, i have to be careful and your comment helps a lot. Thank you.

 

[mindatrisk]

What you want is an "Elevator Pitch". Imagine that you get in the lift with someone and you have to tell them the most important information about your business by the time you get out of the lift.

I did one of these. Check out:

http://www.ukbusinessforums.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=59971

If you have any comments there then that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.