- Original Poster
- #1
Hello everyone,
To cut a very long story short(er), I have worked in a small business for the last four years - two as a freelancer and the last two full time. We recently received investment and I was made a director.
The business is great, but it's chaotic and while the MD is a fantastic entrepreneur he's a really challenging manager. There is no real structure, a complete lack of boundaries in terms of roles and responsibilities, and we've operated without any kind of targets or budgets for the entire time I've been there.
Over the last twelve months I've had some fairly difficult mental health issues which I know have made me more difficult to work with than I would like. I try to keep my relationships open and honest at work to combat this and invite people to talk to me if they feel like I'm behaving badly. In general this works with my colleagues, but it has lead to some bust ups between me and the MD when I have felt pretty unappreciated, groundless, undermined and unsupported. I have tried to talk to him about needing more stability in my work environment, but he's quite defensive about putting any kind of structure in place, and this affects more people than just me.
The MD and I were also friends before we worked together. I know....
Since the investment and my directorship lots of strange things have happened - very pointed feedback about my poor leadership and lack of confidence in me amongst the staff (we're a close knit team and we talk a lot so that was really difficult to hear and didn't seem quite borne out by discussions when I made my apologies to people afterwards), misrepresentation of other people's opinions to support the MD's view during recruitment discussions, being told I don't understand our industry, that I'm not responsive enough to phone calls, warnings not to speak out of turn in meetings and finding out that a new director is being bought in on a salary more than £20k above mine, with equity (he's good but his experience is commensurate with mine in terms of our relative specialisms). There was also a quip about me not being able to quit as a board member because I'm the only female. I know it's a joke, but....
Last week the MD suggested that if work is impacting my mental health it might be time to consider leaving, and I shouldn't see that as a failure, but as a brave step towards self care. I asked if my work was an issue and he said I was performing brilliantly and had made obvious improvements in my relationships at work, but he was concerned for my health.
As someone suffering with anxiety and depression these kinds of conversations are fear inducing! Are people talking about me? Do they hate me? Am I not performing well? Is everyone uncomfortable around me? I thought we were doing fine. I'm obviously unable to do my job - you can imagine.
What can I do? There's no one else I can be managed by really and without a formal review process this is all happening behind closed doors with no recourse. I am considering my position but I feel that's my decision and really has nothing to do with my MD (beyond making sure I'm basically ok) since the quality of my work isn't in question. I have asked for help with workload and prioritisation but that's not materialised and the MD"s response was that I should work from home with my phone on airplane mode to stop interruptions. I also made it known that I was seeking medical help to which he replied that that was fine but he didn't see how a doctor could do much and wouldn't it be better if I just changed my entire environment to get out of my current state of mind.
I feel like i'm being treated unfairly and this last conversation has put a lot of pressure on me and it seems really unprofessional. I don't want to make an official complaint but where do I stand if I decide to leave as a result of this?
Thanks in advance.
To cut a very long story short(er), I have worked in a small business for the last four years - two as a freelancer and the last two full time. We recently received investment and I was made a director.
The business is great, but it's chaotic and while the MD is a fantastic entrepreneur he's a really challenging manager. There is no real structure, a complete lack of boundaries in terms of roles and responsibilities, and we've operated without any kind of targets or budgets for the entire time I've been there.
Over the last twelve months I've had some fairly difficult mental health issues which I know have made me more difficult to work with than I would like. I try to keep my relationships open and honest at work to combat this and invite people to talk to me if they feel like I'm behaving badly. In general this works with my colleagues, but it has lead to some bust ups between me and the MD when I have felt pretty unappreciated, groundless, undermined and unsupported. I have tried to talk to him about needing more stability in my work environment, but he's quite defensive about putting any kind of structure in place, and this affects more people than just me.
The MD and I were also friends before we worked together. I know....
Since the investment and my directorship lots of strange things have happened - very pointed feedback about my poor leadership and lack of confidence in me amongst the staff (we're a close knit team and we talk a lot so that was really difficult to hear and didn't seem quite borne out by discussions when I made my apologies to people afterwards), misrepresentation of other people's opinions to support the MD's view during recruitment discussions, being told I don't understand our industry, that I'm not responsive enough to phone calls, warnings not to speak out of turn in meetings and finding out that a new director is being bought in on a salary more than £20k above mine, with equity (he's good but his experience is commensurate with mine in terms of our relative specialisms). There was also a quip about me not being able to quit as a board member because I'm the only female. I know it's a joke, but....
Last week the MD suggested that if work is impacting my mental health it might be time to consider leaving, and I shouldn't see that as a failure, but as a brave step towards self care. I asked if my work was an issue and he said I was performing brilliantly and had made obvious improvements in my relationships at work, but he was concerned for my health.
As someone suffering with anxiety and depression these kinds of conversations are fear inducing! Are people talking about me? Do they hate me? Am I not performing well? Is everyone uncomfortable around me? I thought we were doing fine. I'm obviously unable to do my job - you can imagine.
What can I do? There's no one else I can be managed by really and without a formal review process this is all happening behind closed doors with no recourse. I am considering my position but I feel that's my decision and really has nothing to do with my MD (beyond making sure I'm basically ok) since the quality of my work isn't in question. I have asked for help with workload and prioritisation but that's not materialised and the MD"s response was that I should work from home with my phone on airplane mode to stop interruptions. I also made it known that I was seeking medical help to which he replied that that was fine but he didn't see how a doctor could do much and wouldn't it be better if I just changed my entire environment to get out of my current state of mind.
I feel like i'm being treated unfairly and this last conversation has put a lot of pressure on me and it seems really unprofessional. I don't want to make an official complaint but where do I stand if I decide to leave as a result of this?
Thanks in advance.
