Persuading VAT Officers is more an art than a science. In other words, there is no set formula that guarantees acceptance. Section 5, VAT Notice 725 might reassure you (and reduce your laundry bill):
http://customs.hmrc.gov.uk/channels...ertyType=document&columns=1&id=HMCE_CL_000152
It says:
5. Zero-rating of supplies to VAT registered customers in another member state - evidence of removal
5.1 Evidence of removal
A combination of these documents must be used to provide clear evidence that a supply has taken place, and the goods have been removed from the UK:
> the customer's order (including customer's name, VAT number and delivery address for the goods);
> inter-company correspondence;
> copy sales invoice (including a description of the goods, an invoice number and customer's EC VAT number etc.);
> advice note;
> packing list;
> commercial transport document(s) from the carrier responsible for removing the goods from the UK, for example an International Consignment Note (CMR) fully completed by the consignor, the haulier and signed by receiving consignee;
> details of insurance or freight charges;
> bank statements as evidence of payment;
> receipted copy of the consignment note as evidence of receipt of goods abroad; and
> any other documents relevant to the removal of the goods in question which you would normally obtain in the course of your intra-EC business.
Photocopy certificates of shipment or other transport documents are not normally acceptable as evidence of removal unless authenticated with an original stamp and dated by an authorised official of the issuing office.
You do NOT need all of the above, only a selection from the above examples. The sales invoice, plus two others is usually enough for our clients. We have up to three of these VAT Inspections a week and the VAT Officer is generally happy if there is third party evidence that the goods were transported out of the UK (e.g. transporter documents saying where the goods went from and to).
Generally it is easy if your business records are already in good order and the VAT Officer feels they can trust what you are doing. But even if they aren't, third party documentary evidence (i.e. from someone else, such as the transporter) is fairly strong.
Interestingly, one form of evidence is that the customer has paid for the goods, showing that the customer has accepted receipt of the goods at the location specified on the order or contract. It's not particularly strong evidence, but together with a trustworthy set of records, original documentation from the transporters and any orders or contracts, this is usually acceptable to a VAT Officer.
If anything is missing on the day, don't be afraid to say that you would have to come back to them with an answer. And don't forget to offer them a cup of tea/coffee: they are human too!
Hope it helps & good luck.