Ridiculous and Funny Complaints

[Ozzy]

Ok I can't take any credit for this, I've just seen one of @10Yetis posts on Twitter. So for a bit of fun, what are some of the most ridiculous or entertaining complaints you've ever received. Obviously nothing actually complaining about dissatisfaction with your service.

Probably not the funniest of complaints we'll see in this thread, but we did have someone repeatedly email here who kept emailing in to support and complaining their adverts (self promotion) were continually being deleted.
Another... Why can't I access my account? Because you told us to delete it under GDPR.

 

[10Yetis]

Thanks sexy.

THE best we had was for MobileInsurance.co.uk (jon Lammerton, the 1% biz guy)... he had a customer who claimed on his phone insurance because he lost his phone up a cows bum during calfing (spelling). This got us global coverage. BEAT THAT (no really)

 

[Ozzy]

Some of you may remember this thread;

Hyperloop Killer / Legal Advice / Business Partner / Investor

This is a serious threat and I have all the legal documents to back up my claims. What I have is the patent for the only absolute zero emission transportation technology in the world. It is not a new Idea basically it is a melting of aviation technology Train technology and supersonic combustion...

www.ukbusinessforums.co.uk

Led to us receiving this complaint...

Avoid at all Costs! A bunch of Globalist Socialists connected to the WEF that
protect people like Elon Musk and Richard Branson who stole my technology. The
Hyperloop is based on my technology as I have a patent predating Elon Musk by
over 8 years.
They (UKBF) are corrupt because they protect the Establishment and
newcomers are fooled to believe they help business. I assure you They do not.
What they do is miss leading people into believing they help people but they
then take what they want and give nothing back.
The statement from UK Business Forums is false. I did not seek advice for my
patent. What I was looking for is Business advice to make my patent a viable
Business. I was seeking possibilities for Investment and open collaboration. I
have 10 more Inventions but without Money it is impossible. I was seeking help
to start a viable profitable business. They serve to protect the rich and con
the poor. Avoid them at all costs.

 

[fisicx]

Had a client paying me £70/month for website support complain I didn’t immediately answer an email at 9pm on a Sunday.

Or the African bank complain my fix for their problem was too expensive at £90.

More recently someone complain my free Wordpress plugin didn’t work on their wix site.

And the neighbour has complained that I won’t help pay for his new fence which he had to erect after he cut down the hedge between our properties.

 

[Mark T Jones]

Not terribly funny, but shortly before lockdown we had a client threaten us with legal action on the basis that we had rushed them into signing (only the 3rd threat of legals in nearly 40 years)

I was delighted to respond with a timeline of events showing:

Deal discussions had occurred over a 4 month period

Initially we had sent a quote - which was pleasingly close to the final figure

6 weeks prior to drawdown we had sent a formal offer - identical to final figures

2 weeks prior to drawdown we had emailed final docs- identical to the deal done.

In an extremely rare twist, the person signing had messed up and had to go back and re-sign 5 days later


Thats the last we heard from them

 

[IanSuth]

Not so much a funny ha ha complaint more funny weird.

When working in recruitment I sent a guy a rejection email (the usual standard "other people more suited blah blah") and got a reply that cc'd in [email protected] asking "did someone sit on your cake" in the middle of a load of gibberish.

Another time a colleague rang to ask for feedback on an interview and the client (as in employer)upoin being asked just said "well, time, elapsement of stages and where do you go from there hmmm hmmm", he was so bemused he just said "yes, well I will see what he thought" and hung up.

 

[BustersDogs]

New dog walking client was a London dog trainer, very successful. Her dog was 'fully trained'.

He was not. Will not give a list of infractions, but he's the only dog in 16 years who has pulled me completely off my feet so I landed on the ground.

Complaint 1. We'd adjusted his collar so tight the dog could not breathe. She didn't notice until two weeks after we did it. Two weeks being unable to breathe? That's amazing... Why did we adjust the collar? Because if the dog didn't want to do something he was 'fully trained' to do, he was in the habit of attempting to remove it.

Complaint 2. He bit her when she was walking him on a weekend. She had to physically pull him away from humping another dog in the park because he wasn't 'fully trained' enough to either, not hump, or to stop on verbal command, and he bit her as he didn't want to stop. That was apparently my fault...?

Said trainer was in the papers not long we parted ways. She was being sued because someone paid a lot of money for her to stop a dog biting its owner, and it still bit its owner when she got it back... I am surprised she didn't try to make that my fault also.

 

[Clodbuster]

Not really on the same lines - When I was still in Zimbabwe, A customer had run up a big debt and had come in bleating for time to pay and as he was worth it we extended credit. Two weeks later, the cricket world cup was being held in the UK and while we were watching at home blow me down if the camera did not focus on our fellow having a ball at Edgbaston.

 

[Irontoe]

So long ago I can't remember anything other than the complaint was a very minor one...

On having to return to the shop to address aforementioned minor complaint the customer asked me 'Do you know how much petrol it costs to put in to my Rolls Royce to get here?'

 

[siangana]

a customer emailed me in the middle of the night telling that the toy doesn't work


it was a night lamp and it is sold without batteries...

 

[nelioneil]

a customer emailed me in the middle of the night telling that the toy doesn't work


it was a night lamp and it is sold without batteries...

I hope you got to see that email during working hours and did not wake you up...

 

[kulture]

Once had a customer email me on Christmas Day complaining about non delivery of order placed on Christmas Eve.

But the best was when the police turned up regarding non delivery of an order and when we finally found it, it was to Eire and only placed the previous evening. I don’t know how they managed to get the police to stir.