New business predicament

[freefall]

Hi everyone,

I'm in a right pickle at the moment. I have set up a new business and things are running fine, all set to earn some big fees next month but the problem is I am working from home.

Ever since I thought about the idea me and my partner sat down and had a good chat setting ground rules for life in the home as a result of me setting up. It went fine and we agreed on loads including the most important:

During strict sales time I wasn't to be disturbed.
In the morning for my partner to be out of the way downstairs.
To have no daytime visitors.

2 months in and we are having visitors, which in turn means the dog goes ballistic at the door. Just before I was on the phone to a client and the dog set off insanely loud, this was because of a pre-arranged visit!!! Then the loud mother in law went to the loo...now I haven’t got a problem with that, if you're quiet!

I am situated in the attic room, below me is the first floor then beneath that is the living room and kitchen.

Recently it's been getting worse and whenever I challenge this with my wife I get comments like "it's my house!". Lately I have been swanning off on the net at times like this and the best thing is my wife has noticed this even though it is because I am scared to get on the phones (a large proportion of my business is based on this) incase I get talked to loudly, the dog barks or the baby cries. We had set in place a strict routine for me going to "work" and for her living her daily life so it all works out but her side of the bargain is lost every day and the odd times I have a lie in I am persecuted (but only if I mention the distractions), then all hell breaks loose.

Just now I have text the wife to say "look, we need to talk about these distractions when you are back" and the response I got as usual was that it's her house. I fully appreciate that but we agreed things from the start! If not then I would have got a loan to rent offices but we both agreed that would be a complete waste of money.

What shall I do??????

I just feel like throwing in the towel already yet I have this huge buzz around what I am doing, I love it and this could give us the perfect family start in life that we deserve. Yet, as soon as something like this gets me down and I can't work it just makes me think "is it worth it?". Even if I do make some money I won't be working as good as I can do because of the distractions and if I address the distractions it's time for an argument.

Any advice on how to tackle this? I don't WANT to go under but I feel that I am going to be a statistic and this feeling puts me on a terrible downer.

 

[DuaneJackson]

I can relate 100% to the situation you are in - I was there too a couple of years ago.

Option 1 - sound proof the room you are in (seriously)

Option 2 - Find a cheap office, even if it's a shared office

Option 3 - Get your wife to see sense. It'll take all of your skills in diplomacy, but it can be done. Agree with yourself not to mention the distractions for a couple of weeks and in that time get her involved with the business. Even if it's not doing anything - make sure she feels involved. Let her know what's going on day to day.
"We had an enquiry today that looks like it could be a biggie"
"Can you give me your opinion on this advert? Too much blue? Do you think the logo should be bigger?"
"That enquiry I told you about? Didn't get it - we were too expensive apparently - do you think I should lower my prices?"
"if you've got 10 minutes can you proof read this proposal?"
Etc, etc.

Then after a week or two when you are bothon better terms and she feels some ownership of the business you can try, very tactfully, bringing up the issue again. If it still exists by then that is (the issue I mean, not the business!)

Option 4 - Hire a hit man.

 

[GDJ]

I am not sure what kind af business you are in but if most of it is on the phone you may consider a shed/office. It does depend on your property etc but I know someone who did this and it worked really well for them (his wife wanted her dining room back). There are security considerations but only you will be in a position to gauge this.

 

[Rob Holmes]

Forget negotiations go for option 4 first (you decide for the dog or the wife) ;-)

Actually I was in this position as well. Working from home with dogs or kids is difficult and not recommended if you need to take calls from clients or make sales calls and either are in danger of being interrupted by barking or tantrums.

Dogs, kids (and maybe even wives) don't understand why silence in the background is needed and maybe it's unfair on them to expect it at all times.

I know what you agreed - but sometimes in practice things work out differently and the idea of no visitors for a wife at home I don't think is that easy to do in practice.

I purchased a 12 x 8 foot mini-studio and put it at the bottom of my garden, ran power and phones out to it and it's fantastic. It gives me the low costs of working from home with the ability to close the door and get on without interruption. I'd certainly recommend that if it's an option to you.

Failing that a tiny office could be rented from £40 - £50 a week.

Hope this helps,

Rob

 

[freefall]

I like some of the points on here. I am concerned about renting an office becuase I live quite out of town and in all honesty I want to be able to wake up and go to work instantly (especially if the baby gives me a bad nights sleep). The mini studio sounds great but not in this cottage because the back garden is tiny.

Soundproofing sounds like a good idea! I dont have a door up to the attic room at present because of the quirky house design we ripped it out after week 1 of living here. Looks like I will need to re-invest, they should be cheap?

Can't do a shared office because I have alot of confidential information from clients when I speak to them.

Now DuaneJackson I really like option 3. Trouble is I have been doing this already, I even let her design a whole 4 page form (with full control) because she showed a bit of interest in it. Plus I talk to her a lot about things going on and she even asks "oh how's such a scenario going?"

It's really strange, it's like she is rebelling. I know this is her home just as much as mine but when we agreed this all in the past it wasnt an option then and I don't think I am asking for that much. Or am I? She doesnt need to be in the bedroom as she doesnt like TV's there and all what she does in downstairs. Having said that her only hobby is holidays, seriously. It's like she wants to be a lady of leisure, lord of the manor and all round footballers wife but without no responsibility of the business and how it's affecting it. I have done NOTHING this morning and I'm really frustrated about this. I have follow up calls to do which could lead to something but my head is so bad and I am so down I just can't bring myself to doing it, and I have the house to myself!

ugh sorry, what a rant

 

[Digital Paint]

I think its a common problem for people working from home. My advice would be a cheap, serviced office. I got one for about £50 / week, all in (only 100sq ft). The minimum term was a month, with a month's notice, so you could try it and see. It also gives you a business address and very often they have conference room facilities too. I know that its an expense, but for me, I felt that it put my business on a proper business footing and my business soon grew to the point where the rent was not significant.

 

[DuaneJackson]

It's like she wants to be a lady of leisure, lord of the manor and all round footballers wife but without no responsibility of the business and how it's affecting it.

OK, I am really worried now. I think my fiancee may already be married - to YOU!

 

[jacobite]

My word, I'm reading this post wondering when I wrote it!

Seriously though, I used to have the same problems as yourself and tried the same solutions (set boundaries, etc). What worked in the end was to do all of my online business at home (so e-mails, answering web enquiries, etc) and I borrow a friend's home and computer for any telephone leads, returning calls and the like.

I don't know how practical this would be for your business, as mine's is straddled nicely between online enquiries and visiting clients' homes, but it might be worth considering.

Anyhow, don't give up doing what you love, you'll only regret it in the long run.

 

[Joyous]

I’d have to agree with one of the previous posters and say get yourself a garden office. When I started I was in a similar situation and found it really difficult to keep my work separate with four noisy and inquisitive children.

I eventually got myself a garden office from these guys http://www.henleyoffices.com/. You really don’t need a large garden for one of these; it’s a bit like a Tardis, i.e. bigger on the inside than the outside. It really does separate your work from your home, even though the “commute” is a 5 second walk down the garden path - and you have somewhere decent to see clients if the need arises.

Just for the record I have no connection with Henley Offices other than being a satisfied customer.

Hope you get things sorted out soon.

Regards

Joy

 

[freefall]

hmm.... might have to wait until things have picked up becuase they are a bit pricey but do look very good and worth the money joy. thanks for the help and advice guys

 

[SillyJokes]

hmmmmmmmmmm, I'm not liking what I'm reading, however your troubles may shortly be over as it sounds like your wife may soon be offski.

Speaking as a 'wife' it all sounds very ominous that she can't be more supportive of your business and your efforts to better your lot as a family.

I'm sure I have been prepared to make a few sacrifices for the sake of the business however perhaps it is getting her down and interferring a bit too much in day to day living.

Why not wine and dine her, make her feel a bit special - sounds like you both need to talk, not text.

 

[directmarketingadvice]

Freefall

It sounds like your wife is bored.

You get to have the family and the business. So, you've got a busy and purposeful life.

She's got a baby to look after on her own all day because you're working and she's not allowed visitors.

So, it's maybe understandable that she's unhappy.

It sounds like these rules you agreed on aren't working for her and will never
work for her.

So, if the relationships worth keeping, you probably need to create an environment where you get your business and she has a life.

Steve

 

[daveashton]

hay this brings back dark memories but one that was solved by the emotion of shopping.

In simple terms I basically told her that if she did not keep to the rules it would cost us money and she would have less to spend.

She didn't keep to the rules so I pretended to lose a few orders ( I did actually lose 1) and we had a long chat about not going on holiday because of no money and that shoes were a big no or we could not pay the mortgage .

I now have a very peaceful office at home, and 3 offices to work from now that we have grown.

As for TLC, yeeks that's what my time is for after running the business and I would guess if you have just had a baby she needs a lot more than normal but this should not effect the business.

Good luck

 

[Coding Monkey]

I've hired an office out not because of those problems, but because I live right near a bloody primary school. Come 3pm and, like yourself, I'm basically afraid to answer the phone. I also find myself in front of the computer (like now) still working late into the night, but not even realising that I'm working. I never close down my work applications, so can access them without even thinking about it and start working again. Thought it would be beneficial just to make a clear divide between work.

 

[Cornish Steve]

Do you have a garage? I converted half my garage into an office. It works really well because it's quite separate from the main house. Despite having a wife, six children, and two dogs, I can hold peaceful telephone conversations at any time.

 

[bwglaw]

New wife is all I can suggest!

I work very irregular hours and often means dropping what I am doing to attend to urgent matters. My wife has no problem with that and is very supportive. However, I do ensure that I devote time for my wife and take her out for meals, buy shoes, handbags, jewelry etc. She does not even have to work!

I think it is best to point out the balance (or an ultimatum) as someone has mentioned earlier by saying that preventing you from working will indirectly/directly change your lifestyle that is no shopping, no holidays etc. For a business to work it requires family support, including support from your wife. Getting your wife involved may seem a good idea but from my experience it is not always practical. If my wife is armed with too much information about the company then she will be telling me what to do! My wife has never been interested in my company or where the money is coming from but as long as she is fulfilled with a good lifestyle she is sweet.

I recommend a foreign wife! My wife is Georgian and they are most supportive.

Jonathan

 

[SillyJokes]

hmmmmm I'm not liking all this reference to wives needing only the application of shoes to make them happy and I'm am totally shocked at your appallingly patronising description of convivial family life, Jonathan - especially given your work is in discrimination.

I'm a wife, and I am a partner in the business and I don't need placating with shoes. Sheesh.

 

[DuaneJackson]

hmmmmm I'm not liking all this reference to wives needing only the application of shoes to make them happy

Oi, don't overreact. He didn't say you only need shoes to make you happy. As a modern man, i recognise - and so does Jon - the fact that you also need handbags and jewellery.

 

Just a few questions....

why does your dog go beserk everytime someone knocks at the door? that would annoy me to hell and back, whether i was running a business at home or not..

why shouldn't your wife have visitors during the day? you work in the attic, why on earth should this disturb you two floors away?

What so wrong with your plumbing, that your MIL can't take a pee without threatening to bring your business crashing down around you?


Being a stay at home mum is very very lonely and banning visitors during the day is just unreasonable. Perhaps you should ethink things and look for a separate office. Keep business and family life separate!

 

[freefall]

why does your dog go beserk everytime someone knocks at the door?

Becuase she just does that. Always has done, she is a very protective dog and not even the trainer could do much to stop her.

why shouldn't your wife have visitors during the day?

we discussed this becuase my wife's side of the family are very loud people and she has one of the largest families in the area.

you work in the attic, why on earth should this disturb you two floors away?

becuase we live in a small cottage in a quiet village and believe me you can hear a lot up here.

What so wrong with your plumbing, that your MIL can't take a pee without threatening to bring your business crashing down around you?

the plumbing again is extremely loud and as said mother in law is extremely loud the two put together are a nasty combination. Especially when said mother in law comes up for a quick chat during all important sales calls!

As stated previously we have already discussed this and if you must now we also discussed last night the visitors during the day and the wife was very apologetic as she knows it is a creaky and loud house. When I am not selling I am doing a lot of technical work to close the deals.

 

[Mwebb]

A decent wireles internet connection, and some mobile home phones. When the weather is good, go sit in the garden and work. Or in a shed...you choose. Those offices in the post above look awesome. But if you are just starting several £'000's can be spent much better else where i am sure.

I must say i can sympathise with you. When i got back from travelling last year i had nowhere to stay, so moved back with my parents. It really helps financially, but being 24 and living at home with the folks ( After owning your own house, and living in hostels for a year) is a challenge. Especially when you are on the phone, and they come home, and start shouting up the stairs etc to see if you are in. You really don't want to say 1 second mum, i'm just on the phone.....although i have been caught a few times....not funny when it is a potentially huge client on the phone, and you are trying to sound like someone who isn't running the business from a small home office.

Keep plugging away, and if all else fails the hit man idea is a good one.

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[freefall]

haha thanks michael.

 

[Admiral Collections]

Hi

Reading between the lines on this one, have you ever considered that it might just be the way you are approaching your wife and your relationship in general? Do you discuss nicely with her the situation or do you barge in like a condescending male chauvinistic pig? Which incidentally, if you are a male chauvinistic pig you are in good company judging by some of the responses on here.

I have been at home with small children and trust me it can be lonely with only Barney the Dinosaur and the Tweenies for entertainment and little children who demand your attention. I accept that you are trying to do the best for your family and I find that commendable, I really do.

Why not set your business some goals and try and get an office as soon as you can. Show your wife your goals and tell her nicely that soon she will have the house to herself.

And just a tip to the rest of you guys who have posted:

Shoes, bags, flowers, chocolates, diamonds, jewellrey and an Aston Martin
won't make you happy if your husband is a total toss pot!

Nic

 

[Pebble Communications]

I have sympathies for both sides here. Anyway, I know you discussed it and agreed the theory but she now finds it is not workable in practise. You cannot keep a small baby 'quiet' and she can't help it if people knock on the door and make the dog bark. Train the thing, it's only a dog. If one trainer didn't help, try another one.

You need some peace and quiet to work. She cannot be isolated in silence alone with a baby all day. Try a bit of compromise from both of you? Perhaps mornings could be 'silent' time (she has no visitors, stays downstairs, does no noisy hoovering etc, goes out with baby) and afternoons more normal? That way you could schedule certain tasks for morning and in the afternoon do the ones where a bit of household life around you won't matter so much. we all have tasks that take 100% concentration and then tasks we could do with our eyes shut and one arm behind our backs.
What do you do at lunchtime? It's good for you to take a break (I know its easy to just keep going in this situation but actually it also benefits your work) and it might help her feel happier if you did something together. Can you have a half hour lunchbreak together, all three of you?

 

[IMEX Sourcing Services]

Here's a quick advice...how about keeping a set time for calls..say 3 to 5. You can try negotiating silence with family members for just these 2 hours. For incoming calls, get an 0800 number (or something like that), or set up a voicemail system, where people can leave their numbers, and then you can get back to them.

Of course, this wouldnt be the best customer service, but probably better than one with dogs in the background? Once business has grown a bit more, you will most likely have the funds to choose from various office and home office options mentioned above.

Good Luck with the busines.
Ash

 

[lyndonw]

A friend had the same problem a while ago and picked up an old broken down caravan for the purpose. The caravan wasn't road legal but he wasnt going anywhere!

A wireless network connection and cordless phone and he was in business for about £300