When writing a press release you need to catch the reader within the first 10 seconds. The amount of press releases I get sent to then send out to the media that are real bad is incredible. I have to keep telling my clients that they need to pretend they are receiving the press release and what would keep them reading.
For example, you receive a press release with the heading womens charity raising money for hospital - ok so you get this and you think, not another press release about raising money, but if you got a press release saying, hospital to sell husbands for charity- then you would read on. You have to remember the person at the other end receives hundreds of press releases and does not have the time to go through each one, so the title has to catch them and then the first paragraph has to have them hooked. If you do not do the first two then it does not matter how many press releases you send out, you will be wasting your time