Employing Friends/Family

[Ronnieuk47]

Just looking for opinions/advice/personal history on this subject. I'll outline the reason for asking;

We are in the start-up/planning phase of a new pub/restaurant business with myself as manager/co-executive chef. My brother is the other co-executive chef, but will solely based in the kitchen as I'll obviously have to tend to other matters. My sister is a trained accountant and will oversee the financial side of things as well as offering a financial guidance/consultancy service.

However, one thing I've noticed through my own personal work history and has been discussed in great length by other business owners I know is the original question.

Have any fellow members employed friends/family before and to what effect on the personal relationships?

Not the most exciting subject, but just wanted to gauge an idea what to expect.

 

[thelegalstop]

You know your relatives best. People tend to act differently in different situations. If you keep things equal in terms of work and pay, I guess you should be fine.

 

[Vending Siting Services]

Working with friends and family is very difficult when things GO WRONG!

At this early stage set up in writing who is responsible for each aspect of the business. How is the business divided up? Get this sorted now otherwise it will lead to heartache later on when the business is established.

Who has the final say for decisions?

Who holds the most shares or will it be an equal division? If so, bear in mind two can side together which will give them the majority rule ......

There is so much to sort out at the beginning - to succeed make sure there is clarity at the beginning otherwise it could potentially turn into a disaster zone and going into business with family/friends will be the worst decision.

We have one rule when friends/relatives approach us to do business - we always decline as we have learnt the hard way! 20+ years in business has taught us a lot!

Barbara

 

[Merchant UK]

I agree with BarbaraF, you only need to look at the Hotel inspector or the Fixer to see what a nightmare working with family is, No one wants to take the blame and everyone wants to be in charge.

It can go VERY wrong and could end up destroying your business. You stand a better chance to simply employ staff unrelated to you if you want to make a success of your business.

if you still want to have family on board why don't you get them involved on one aspect of the business, like accounts, promotions, advertising etc.. but not running the business with you 24/7

 

[DanielSalesConsultant]

My only advice is to sit down and watch Dallas. Everyone has a JR Ewing in the family, make sure they have no power.

 

[Nazaam]

My only advice is to sit down and watch Dallas. Everyone has a JR Ewing in the family, make sure they have no power.

Lol, brilliant advice!

 

[Nazaam]

I love my family to bits and we're a large family but there is only one family member I would do business with!

As thelegalstop said, you know your relatives best and the fact that you're asking this question may suggest you're having some doubts? If you do have some reservations but would like to go ahead with the business anyway, you can put mechanisms in place to mitigate potential problems. We learn and grow from experience.

Some key issues I have observed /experienced from working with friends and family (my own or otherwise) and possible solutions:

Financial: not enough revenue or too many expenses, perceptions of unequal share etc.

• Ensure clarity and transparency with regards to money.
• Agree profit share/salaries from the outset and put everything in writing.
• If partners/team members aren't pulling their weight according to your written agreement, address it straight away (See "communication" below).
• Get an external expert to mediate and advise if the plans and forecasts are feasible and realistic. This can help with objectivity and, in the worst case, you can reduce potential blame amongst each other (blame the expert! )

Leadership: resentment and a sense that one member of the partnership is too bossy, not pulling their weight, micro managing.

• Agree roles from the outset - who will be overall responsible for the business direction and decision making or will it be shared? Be honest with each other, if one of you has the most experience and/or aptitude for business then you're probably better off having one clear leader rather than all trying to be. You mention that both you and your brother will be Co-executive chef, granted I don't know your personalities, business plan/model etc, but why not let your brother manage the kitchen and ask for your support when necessary? Starting up a business will keep you extremely busy and you may be able to put much time or effort into the Operations. This will allow him to take ownership of one area of the business (if that's something he would like).

Communication: not enough, too much, closed

• Agree a schedule and method(s) for formal communication and ensure it is regular and consistent (especially during start up phase).
• Try to make sure each member of the team feels comfortable and able to voice their views and suggestions.
• Hold team members to account for following up on tasks assigned to them.
• Keep your eyes open for simmering conflicts and don't shy away from addressing problems ASAP before they escalate. Sometimes approaching this informally at first (over lunch, dinner, drinks) is the best method to evaluate how serious the problem is (or if there is a problem at all).

I guess a good question to ask yourself would be, how do you manage conflict as a family on a day to day basis? It probably won't be much different when it comes to business...

 

[Richie N]

I would never employ family or friends again, best avoid I think but that's just my experience.
Like others have said, when things go wrong it can cause a lot of problems.

 

[appyammer]

i employ my 2 sons and one of my daughters, i did also once employ my dad, 2 brothers and 2 nephews.

the immediate siblings are no problem and are all working towards the same goals

 

[BustersDogs]

My dad forced me and two brothers to work in his business, firstly for about 30p an hour, and then for no money an hour, before finally £56 a week for what was 6 1/2 day week (equivalent to £105 now). I put up with that, but he was a right bad tempered sod made worse by being bad at business and never having enough sleep as he was working through the night most nights, as well as in the day. He had a bed under the stairs in the office.

'bloody kids!' was often heard around the office (and not just directed at his own children). I only managed to get away because I had a baby (and he sounded very annoyed the day I rang in 'sick' as I was going to hospital). When I asked him for the maternity money he'd organised, I was told 'you've had that'. Apparently I'd worked for it the months I was on 'llight office duties' the last 3 months I'd worked for him.

Never again would I work for my dad.

Now I'm the boss and employ two brothers and my son. They are waged, it's my business and I call the shots. They're not paid or treated like crap sometimes they disagree with me and we agree to differ, other things are non negotiable and I make sure they are known as much as possible beforehand.

I think it works very well, and as they are family I do contact them out of 'work' hours, which I don't the couple of people who aren't family who work with me, so I do put upon them like that a bit, but I'm pretty sure they're capable of not picking up the phone if they are too bothered.

I don't feel any of our personal relationships changed as such, I'll never forget my dad stealing money from my baby's mouth, but I doubt he sees it like that. I'd get my own back if he ever had any money to help myself to. But I still love him. Wouldn't work with him again, and he still tries to treat his family like crap, and still thinks what he wants to talk about (usually work) is more important than anything anyone else is talking about and SCREAMS down the phone if we don't pick up. Worse if 3 of us are together and 2 don't hear the phone, when he gets to the 3rd, who DID answer they get screamed at.

I feel a bit better after posting that...

Anyway, someone, and not the most short tempered person around, needs to be 'in charge'.

 

[appyammer]

My dad forced me and two brothers to work in his business, firstly for about 30p an hour, and then for no money an hour, before finally £56 a week for what was 6 1/2 day week (equivalent to £105 now). I put up with that, but he was a right bad tempered sod made worse by being bad at business and never having enough sleep as he was working through the night most nights, as well as in the day. He had a bed under the stairs in the office.

'bloody kids!' was often heard around the office (and not just directed at his own children). I only managed to get away because I had a baby (and he sounded very annoyed the day I rang in 'sick' as I was going to hospital). When I asked him for the maternity money he'd organised, I was told 'you've had that'. Apparently I'd worked for it the months I was on 'llight office duties' the last 3 months I'd worked for him.

Never again would I work for my dad.

Now I'm the boss and employ two brothers and my son. They are waged, it's my business and I call the shots. They're not paid or treated like crap sometimes they disagree with me and we agree to differ, other things are non negotiable and I make sure they are known as much as possible beforehand.

I think it works very well, and as they are family I do contact them out of 'work' hours, which I don't the couple of people who aren't family who work with me, so I do put upon them like that a bit, but I'm pretty sure they're capable of not picking up the phone if they are too bothered.

I don't feel any of our personal relationships changed as such, I'll never forget my dad stealing money from my baby's mouth, but I doubt he sees it like that. I'd get my own back if he ever had any money to help myself to. But I still love him. Wouldn't work with him again, and he still tries to treat his family like crap, and still thinks what he wants to talk about (usually work) is more important than anything anyone else is talking about and SCREAMS down the phone if we don't pick up. Worse if 3 of us are together and 2 don't hear the phone, when he gets to the 3rd, who DID answer they get screamed at.

I feel a bit better after posting that...

Anyway, someone, and not the most short tempered person around, needs to be 'in charge'.

sounds like a complete **** and a bully

 

[DanielSalesConsultant]

My dad forced me and two brothers to work in his business, firstly for about 30p an hour, and then for no money an hour, before finally £56 a week for what was 6 1/2 day week (equivalent to £105 now). I put up with that, but he was a right bad tempered sod made worse by being bad at business and never having enough sleep as he was working through the night most nights, as well as in the day. He had a bed under the stairs in the office.

'bloody kids!' was often heard around the office (and not just directed at his own children). I only managed to get away because I had a baby (and he sounded very annoyed the day I rang in 'sick' as I was going to hospital). When I asked him for the maternity money he'd organised, I was told 'you've had that'. Apparently I'd worked for it the months I was on 'llight office duties' the last 3 months I'd worked for him.

Never again would I work for my dad.

Now I'm the boss and employ two brothers and my son. They are waged, it's my business and I call the shots. They're not paid or treated like crap sometimes they disagree with me and we agree to differ, other things are non negotiable and I make sure they are known as much as possible beforehand.

I think it works very well, and as they are family I do contact them out of 'work' hours, which I don't the couple of people who aren't family who work with me, so I do put upon them like that a bit, but I'm pretty sure they're capable of not picking up the phone if they are too bothered.

I don't feel any of our personal relationships changed as such, I'll never forget my dad stealing money from my baby's mouth, but I doubt he sees it like that. I'd get my own back if he ever had any money to help myself to. But I still love him. Wouldn't work with him again, and he still tries to treat his family like crap, and still thinks what he wants to talk about (usually work) is more important than anything anyone else is talking about and SCREAMS down the phone if we don't pick up. Worse if 3 of us are together and 2 don't hear the phone, when he gets to the 3rd, who DID answer they get screamed at.

I feel a bit better after posting that...

Anyway, someone, and not the most short tempered person around, needs to be 'in charge'.

WOW! He does sound like a c u next tuesday.

Glad your doing well now though.