If my wife supported all my ideas, we would be living in a cardboard box by now, she really is the one with the common sense.
Two points, if its because she dosent see the business as a success and you do, without causing friction, work at it, and once she sees the ball rolling and your entusaim she may change her mind.
The other probable cause as in our case is finance, so along as the household bills and the kids school fees are paid first, then the money I make from my websites goes back in to the website, and in return regular wages, and income go on bills and living cost etc.
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I would listen very carefully to my wife and if I could not come up with an answer to address her concerns would re-examine what I was intending to do. The last thing you need is a "YES" man or in your case woman. Enthusiasm is great but constructive criticism is priceless.
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I would do independant research on the idea.
1 other persons opinion be it your wifes is not research as to the idea's chance of success.
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I left her.
Relationship was on the way out.
I didnt trust her judgement anyway.
And she didnt back me on quitting my job.
It was the final straw within 2 weeks of me quitting we had broken up - the only emotion I had was how will this effect the business.
2 years on business is good - dropped 7 stone - got my mojo back.
Also found someone hotter, younger and supportive.
Never been happier and that counts for everything.
Relationship was on the way out.
I didnt trust her judgement anyway.
And she didnt back me on quitting my job.
It was the final straw within 2 weeks of me quitting we had broken up - the only emotion I had was how will this effect the business.
2 years on business is good - dropped 7 stone - got my mojo back.
Also found someone hotter, younger and supportive.
Never been happier and that counts for everything.
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What qualification does the other half have to assess your business plan and through which method of deduction did she arrive at the conclusion it would not succeed ?
If no substantive argument, then there should at least be some supporting theorem based upon some tangible experience at least.
If no substantive argument, then there should at least be some supporting theorem based upon some tangible experience at least.
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Having your spouse's support is immensely boosting and you should try and have that as much as possible. That said, I must ask you if her opinions had always mattered. Some women may not know anything about business but would still have an opinion. If she is not of that kind then good that you have her around. Be objective and answer her concerns with facts. Re examine your ideas and if you still believe in them, you should go ahead. When you start making money she will start having faith in you again.
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S
SuffolkDesigns
- Original Poster
- #10
Friends and family are the worst people to ask, they will either say "Brilliant idea" as they don't want to offend, or "don't do it" because they don't want you to take a risk. They will never be objective.
As you are unemployed, speak to your Job center about the Enterprise allowance program, to get accepted you have to write a sensible business plan and projected cash flow forecast and have them approved by someone who has experience of startups.
If accepted you can get a low interest loan if needed as well as some extra £'s for 6 months.
As you are unemployed, speak to your Job center about the Enterprise allowance program, to get accepted you have to write a sensible business plan and projected cash flow forecast and have them approved by someone who has experience of startups.
If accepted you can get a low interest loan if needed as well as some extra £'s for 6 months.
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I think you need to delve deeper to find out why she's not being supportive. Is it a general lack of faith in you or is it a genuine worry that your current proposal won't work? Is she worried about the family finances going down the pan. Until you know what the exact problem is, then you can't deal with it.
If she's worried about money generally, then do your research to find out what benefits you'd lose and what you'd be eligible for, if you started your business. That way you can give her some facts which will be far better than her worrying about potentially losing all benefits.
If you need to invest savings, etc., then "ring fence" some money to start your business, i.e. your maximum you will invest, and "ring fence" some money for the family, i.e. for the next holiday, car, sofa, or whatever. Limit yourself to what you'll spend so that there's no risk of losing everything if you keep spending without control in the hope of making it a success. I.e. just like gambling, have a "stop loss".
Why not dip your toe in the water and do it on a small-scale part time basis to get a better idea if it will work. If she sees small-scale success, she's be more amenable to scaling it up and maybe investing more.
If she's just being negative about things generally, then you really should consider whether you have a future with her.
If she's worried about money generally, then do your research to find out what benefits you'd lose and what you'd be eligible for, if you started your business. That way you can give her some facts which will be far better than her worrying about potentially losing all benefits.
If you need to invest savings, etc., then "ring fence" some money to start your business, i.e. your maximum you will invest, and "ring fence" some money for the family, i.e. for the next holiday, car, sofa, or whatever. Limit yourself to what you'll spend so that there's no risk of losing everything if you keep spending without control in the hope of making it a success. I.e. just like gambling, have a "stop loss".
Why not dip your toe in the water and do it on a small-scale part time basis to get a better idea if it will work. If she sees small-scale success, she's be more amenable to scaling it up and maybe investing more.
If she's just being negative about things generally, then you really should consider whether you have a future with her.
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OP, nobody here knows what your business idea is, neither do we know your background/experience or how you arrived at the conclusion that it would be successful. Equally nobody here knows the background/experience of your wife or how she arrived at the conclusion that it would not be successful.
Notwithstanding the vagueness of your post, a couple of members inferred or outright advised that you ought to consider the future of your marriage! How very absurd and inappropriate.
Some members have offered you sober advice in respect of having your business idea reviewed by a (qualified) independent third party and similar, but as you have created this thread then why not disclose further detail about your business idea (and both you and your wife's background and experience) so that those who want to can offer you tailored moderate feedback.
Notwithstanding the vagueness of your post, a couple of members inferred or outright advised that you ought to consider the future of your marriage! How very absurd and inappropriate.
Some members have offered you sober advice in respect of having your business idea reviewed by a (qualified) independent third party and similar, but as you have created this thread then why not disclose further detail about your business idea (and both you and your wife's background and experience) so that those who want to can offer you tailored moderate feedback.
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This is a case when you need to understand what the fear is? Clearly there are concerns and only you can say whether your wife is qualified to have these concerns. Sadly, it needs to be one of those sit down moments.
If you want somebody to bounce your idea off, then feel free to PM me and I'll see what I can do to help.
If you want somebody to bounce your idea off, then feel free to PM me and I'll see what I can do to help.
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S
S-Marketing
- Original Poster
- #14
Agree with Daxo.
You could be a complete idiot and your wife could be the only thing that has stopped you being a homeless bankrupt for years. Equally, you could be a business genius with a fantastic idea with a wife who is an idiot, or too scared to let you give it a go.
Realistically your position will be somewhere between the 2 examples above, but we cant possibly know where.
You could be a complete idiot and your wife could be the only thing that has stopped you being a homeless bankrupt for years. Equally, you could be a business genius with a fantastic idea with a wife who is an idiot, or too scared to let you give it a go.
Realistically your position will be somewhere between the 2 examples above, but we cant possibly know where.
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I was probably a bit flippant with my post.
What I meant to say is its a lot easier when your partner is onside.
You need to work out the worst position you will be left with, if it goes pear shaped and can you both accept it.
If you have been unemployed for 6 months there is the entrepreneurs scheme and there may be other grants.
Speak to a good accountant and ask them about tax credits as well.
One of the major problems I find in established businesses is where the partner is oblivious to the problems.
e.g. company could do with 10k to finance new work, they have 300k equity in their property, but the husband is trying to find anyway of not borrowing on the house, because he would have to tell the wife which is by far the cheapest and easiest option.
He spends his days in his van at the lock up waiting for small jobs to come in.
What I meant to say is its a lot easier when your partner is onside.
You need to work out the worst position you will be left with, if it goes pear shaped and can you both accept it.
If you have been unemployed for 6 months there is the entrepreneurs scheme and there may be other grants.
Speak to a good accountant and ask them about tax credits as well.
One of the major problems I find in established businesses is where the partner is oblivious to the problems.
e.g. company could do with 10k to finance new work, they have 300k equity in their property, but the husband is trying to find anyway of not borrowing on the house, because he would have to tell the wife which is by far the cheapest and easiest option.
He spends his days in his van at the lock up waiting for small jobs to come in.
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I
ITsoldUK
- Original Poster
- #18
As Daxo has stated, more info required such as...
Is it your first idea, how far down the planning route have you gone, have you got demands on income that will not allow breathing space to grow you idea, etc, etc,...far too vague at the mo. Sorry...
My wife NEVER agrees with me...not just business, I mean ANYTHING
...yes dear, I did tell them what you said
Is it your first idea, how far down the planning route have you gone, have you got demands on income that will not allow breathing space to grow you idea, etc, etc,...far too vague at the mo. Sorry...
My wife NEVER agrees with me...not just business, I mean ANYTHING
...yes dear, I did tell them what you said
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My wife is the best critic I have, therefore if I have a business idea (or an idea at all) I'll speak to her about it.
Wives aren't like mothers, fathers, uncles, aunts or any of the other doting relations we tend to have who tell us our idea is fantastic. Wives see the realism, if this idea doesn't work, how will affect the future? Will the children be clothed and fed? Will the mortgage be paid? Will the other financial commitments be met? Will she get a 18carat diamond necklace for her birthday... okay, maybe not the last one.
As you will see from below I've just launched a whole new business but before doing this I approached Jackie (my wife) and asked her what she thought. I was expecting her to tell me it was the most hair-brained scheme of all the hairy-brained schemes I'd ever come up with (there's been some real corkers that she has vetoed). To my amazement she is whole-heartedly supporting me, because she feels I'll be fantastic at it (I have a sneaking suspicion it's because it'll get me out of the office more).
So, listen to your wife, she will help you keep one foot on the ground.
Wives aren't like mothers, fathers, uncles, aunts or any of the other doting relations we tend to have who tell us our idea is fantastic. Wives see the realism, if this idea doesn't work, how will affect the future? Will the children be clothed and fed? Will the mortgage be paid? Will the other financial commitments be met? Will she get a 18carat diamond necklace for her birthday... okay, maybe not the last one.
As you will see from below I've just launched a whole new business but before doing this I approached Jackie (my wife) and asked her what she thought. I was expecting her to tell me it was the most hair-brained scheme of all the hairy-brained schemes I'd ever come up with (there's been some real corkers that she has vetoed). To my amazement she is whole-heartedly supporting me, because she feels I'll be fantastic at it (I have a sneaking suspicion it's because it'll get me out of the office more).
So, listen to your wife, she will help you keep one foot on the ground.
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Have you produced a written business plan backed up by financial forecasts? If so, show it to her and discuss with her what she doesn't like.
If not, why do you think the business will be a success anyway?
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She's known you a while. If you've never once managed to complete a job, even down to papering the hall she might be in a position to feel sceptical about whether you can run a business.
Sometimes it's hard though for people from an employed background to make the leap to running a business, even though there is no such thing as stability in either.
Sometimes it's hard though for people from an employed background to make the leap to running a business, even though there is no such thing as stability in either.
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