Weirdest Request Client Has Made!

[Trish Barker Telecom]

I had an elderly gent calling "hello is this the council", I replied "sorry sir I think you have got the wrong number, what number did you dial? he replied in a broad accent "noffin 8 noffin noffin 195 9 noffin....... I had to compose myself after holding my breath almost turning blue fumbling to hit mute then quickly tell him he had dialled the wrong number, placing the hanset down and nearly wetting myself. awww bless

 

[sm1]

Hahahahaha

 

[lockie]

Got called to a lock out from a woman who said her key didnt work.Get there and she hands me the keyring with two keys on it.Tried the first key no joy,tried the second and it opens. In her panic she never thought to try the other key !! She then explains she thought the snib had dropped on the lock as it was really worn and loose.I offered to fix it as i was there and she politely says no and pays me full whack for the call out. strange

 

[sm1]

Got called to a lock out from a woman who said her key didnt work.Get there and she hands me the keyring with two keys on it.Tried the first key no joy,tried the second and it opens. In her panic she never thought to try the other key !! She then explains she thought the snib had dropped on the lock as it was really worn and loose.I offered to fix it as i was there and she politely says no and pays me full whack for the call out. strange

That's a serious nerves issue!!

 

[Daniel Slade]

Woman on the phone, "Can you do sexy portraits of me and make me look really sexy, I want my husband to be drooling".

What could I say, so she agreed a date, time and price but would let me know where the shoot would take place. 2 days later she rang back and said she had booked a hotel room which looked very "oldy worldy" which was the look she wanted and told me where it was, confirmed the time but asked if I could make it 3 hours instead of 2 as she wanted to get the right pictures. I agreed, and the rang my partner to come along as well to assist, (more to the point to keep me safe!!).

The day of the shoot came, all went well with no hint of anything untoward happening. I got the exact shots she wanted and she placed an order for some large prints and 2 35" x 25" canvas prints for the walls at home. When I asked why she wanted to put this type of picture on the walls of her home for all and sundry to see she replied "I'm leaving him, this is my way of saying goodbye", I asked again why she would put naked pictures of herself on the walls of the house she was leaving she quite calmly said "They won't be seen by anyone other than that useless t^&T, all the people he thinks are his friends are actually mine, once I move out he will not see them again"

I will never forget that one.

 

[thedesigntailor]

Hee hee - this thread should be stickied.

I had a weird one recently where I was looking for a clients phone number but couldn't find it. I did a 'whois' on her website and dialled. The lady answered to the correct name but became really confused when I started talking about the project.

She told me that someone is using her details because the person has credit trouble. We chatted a bit about the history till I suddenly realised I had misdialed the number and happened to get through to someone with the same name!

 

[Trish Barker Telecom]

Another wrong number we had.....
I had a complaint transferred to me " this lady states she has ordered something from our website and it has not been delivered, how do I trace it ?", ok just put it though and I will look into it I replied. The lady was chasing a product from our website that she had paid for yet not received delivery...concerned I asked her if she had any order reference...no sorry she replied...I then asked her what product she had ordered and when...expecting a reply such as, a curly cord or extn wire she replied...about 2 weeks ago and it was was a rampant rabbit...I was left speechless...not as speechless as her though when she realised she had dialled the wrong number..

 

[thedesigntailor]

My lord -= Just remembered the weirdest one.

Very early one morning I had a text asking if I could design some tights.

Now I assumed they meant packaging or at least the pattern. But it turns out it was a guy who wanted me (a graphic designer) to design and make some tights then have him come around dress up as a lady and take some photos.

Very strainge

 

[Esk247]

i've had the odd few weird phone calls....one customer a few years ago phoned me up at 6am on my mobile demanding why they weren't at the top of Google for 5 different keywords...the website had only been up 2 days and they'd only paid me £50 as I was building my experience.

some people are cheeky arent they.

the usual one with web design is the customer thinks they 'own' the website and don't have to pay for hosting or domain names ever again even after paying just £3.95 for the name and £59 for the hosting. they never get their head around that one.

 

[Indigo Cherry]

I once (about 6 months ago) had a customer call me and asked me if I could retrieve photos of him, his mistress and his mistresses ummmm pet from his hard drive, before his wife took the laptop to PC World for repair!

 

[sm1]

This thread is too funny and weird... Can't wait til the next weird request

 

[dave_n]

i've been offered payment 'in kind' for services rendered twice by two separate business owners within a mile of each other....must be something in the water

 

[paul881]

Not a customer request but some years back I had a suppliers PA call me to say that the MD would be visiting in two weeks time to discuss progress on a critical project his firm were helping us with.

Except that Victor had now undertaken gender realignment surgey and would it be okay for him to come as Victoria? She also asked if I could warn everyone beforehand and sort out some toilet arrangements for him/her?

 

[sm1]

Not a customer request but some years back I had a suppliers PA call me to say that the MD would be visiting in two weeks time to discuss progress on a critical project his firm were helping us with.

Except that Victor had now undertaken gender realignment surgey and would it be okay for him to come as Victoria? She also asked if I could warn everyone beforehand and sort out some toilet arrangements for him/her?

TRICKY SITUATION!!!!!!

 

[Brownbook]

One client added his business to our free online directory, Brownbook.net but then asked us to remove his business because his Brownbook listing was appearing above his own in the Google search listings!

 

[serrano]

Chorizo's of varying size for ch4 big brother

 

[sm1]

Wow - fame, offering to BB

 

[serrano]

Nothing was big enough :|

 

[Interconnect IT]

I think the oddest was a pair who were like a comedy couple. The tall, sharp looking and slightly scary guy with his shorter, rounder, jolly friend. Think the Agent & Friend in Extras and you're there, except the tall guy was more Bella Lugosi than anyone you'd dare to laugh at.

They wanted to start an online casino.

I asked them if they'd had any experience of running online businesses, casinos or gambling businesses. No, but they'd spent a lot of money in online casinos and figured it was better to be the casino than the punter (true).

So I said I could research the subject for them and produce a report and it would cost around £2500. They marched out indignantly (fat guy trailing and smiling too much), shocked that I couldn't just say "here's a package called Instant Casino - that'll be £1500 and we'll have it installed on Monday."

 

[Sphinx]

There was once a home i cleaned in that for some reason the 3 year old child living there was not to know that the parents had cleaners coming in.

Once when it was sick and not in nursery, i had to creap about and be out of sight, darting between the doorways as not to be seen. They had to take the child out when the vacumming was starting.

There was nothing wrong with the child, however treating it like this probably would give it problems.

 

[sm1]

That is weird Sphinx!!

 

[MH1]

Bumped into an old colleague today, who reminded me of the first time I took him out on sales training.

We entered a block of flats, and having sold there before I made sure he got to call on an ugly pair of sisters, who would always fein interest in an attempt to seduce the salesman in their flat, occassionaly they got lucky.

It had been three years since I had had the same joke played on myself, fortunately I had made good my escape very quickly, my colleague later informed me they had "adjusted" their technique, literally tieing him up to stop him leaving and having their way with him. Twenty years later he now sees the funny side of the special training he received.

Every salesman who joined the company always received the same lead to the same sisters within their first week.

 

[Rhyl Lightworks]

I've had lots of strange requests over the years, but one that comes to the fore is when an elderly couple, who were good customers, phoned up to ask if I repaired vibrators. I was a bit taken aback, but said I had never been asked before, but I'd see what I could do. I was a little disappointed when I arrived there to find a faulty vibrating cushion for easing rheumatism.

Barrie

 

[lockyer]

We once had to arrange the "lifting cover" for a crane company to lift a limo over a wall. 2 days later we see our client lowering a limo into the big brother garden, first thing the next morning the insurers were on the phone mentioning the phrase "material facts".

 

[cricket]

Woman: You know you make corsets, right?
Me: Yes, I dare say I do...
Woman: Well, can you make one with nipple holes, like those bras in Ann Summers...?
Me: *blink* erm *choke* well *stutter* I can recommend someone who might...

You don't want to know how many shades of red I went! Which just reminds me of how much of a prude I am.

Woman client -can you measure my bum but don't tell me the real measurement?

Me - yes but I will have to have your skirt made to your real measurement.

Woman client - why?

Me - because it won't fit if we don't make it according to your true size (around a size 18).

Woman client -OK, but when you sew in the label, can you sew in a label SIZE 10? I want to prove to my husband that I've lost weight.

Me - anything is possible.

 

[BakerSN1]

We once had to arrange the "lifting cover" for a crane company to lift a limo over a wall. 2 days later we see our client lowering a limo into the big brother garden, first thing the next morning the insurers were on the phone mentioning the phrase "material facts".

That's funny!

 

[gibby]

sorry cant delete

 

[gibby]

Got a call the other day - I need a pair of shoes, red high heels!
OK - I replied - not a problem.
& you can really eat them? asked the customer

eerr no - you cant eat shoes I replied.
But your site says you sell vegetarian shoes & my husband is very insistent that ...............................................................................


we are also getting a lot of orders for leopard spot Wellingtons, vegan squirty cream & lubricant. the last two are bought by the case by some customers.

no idea what they are using it for

G

 

[cricket]

Continuing with the woman client story;

Me - ahem, don't you think your husband will notice that you are not quite a size 10?

Woman client - hell no, he's as blind as a bat. Besides I get undressed with the light off and I only eat chocolate when he's out.

 

[Daniel Slade]

 

[Ashley_Price]

Bumped into an old colleague today, who reminded me of the first time I took him out on sales training.

We entered a block of flats, and having sold there before I made sure he got to call on an ugly pair of sisters, who would always fein interest in an attempt to seduce the salesman in their flat, occassionaly they got lucky.

It had been three years since I had had the same joke played on myself, fortunately I had made good my escape very quickly, my colleague later informed me they had "adjusted" their technique, literally tieing him up to stop him leaving and having their way with him. Twenty years later he now sees the funny side of the special training he received.

Every salesman who joined the company always received the same lead to the same sisters within their first week.

I have to say I did read this with a certain sense of uneasiness. Because the salesperson was male I guess it's all right that he (and others apparently) were tied up and made to have sex against their will. What if it had been a saleswoman and two ugly brothers?

I think a certain word beginning with "R" would be mentioned.

 

[onlinetravelservices]

When I first started in travel around 15 years ago, we had a couple book a holiday around a year before the date of travel. Six months later the gentleman returned to our office............as a woman asking for a name change as he undergone a sex change!
Always a good story for a dinner party!

 

[Suzina]

I used to work for a large bank, in a call centre & I dealt with complaints. One day when I was not in the best of moods a woman came through about her new cheque book and the timings. Having listened to her rant for a while I apologised and asked if I could repeat the essence of the complaint back to her to make sure I'd understood as I didn't quite understand the problem. She agreed so..."you're calling me to complain that your new chequebook has arrived before the old one ran out and you still have 2 cheques left?" She hung up.

 

[vvaannmmaann]

I once acted as escort/security for a very well known pop star.I was given all the details and arrived at the house as instructed.The "client" was actually the pet dog of said pop star,and the mutt and I flew to LA,Business Class.Limo to the studios.Pop star spent 20 minutes with the mutt,then we flew home the same day.

 

[Ashley_Price]

I once acted as escort/security for a very well known pop star.I was given all the details and arrived at the house as instructed.The "client" was actually the pet dog of said pop star,and the mutt and I flew to LA,Business Class.Limo to the studios.Pop star spent 20 minutes with the mutt,then we flew home the same day.

That's not weird, that's exciting!

Mind you, who'd want to do this all the time?

 

[gingerdad]

When I first started in travel around 15 years ago, we had a couple book a holiday around a year before the date of travel. Six months later the gentleman returned to our office............as a woman asking for a name change as he undergone a sex change!
Always a good story for a dinner party!

That remineds me of a story when i was working for british midland, and a concerned sister phoned up beacuse her brother was a pre-op trans sexsual and had a male passport but would be dressed as a woman and would this be okay.

the 2nd one on a similar theme was in a sales call with my area manager (female) and the customer was going on about how the where one of the largest compaines in the "TV" market. my manager then tried to discuss what programs they had made and would she have watched any of them.
They were into a different "TV" market. very funny laughed all the way home.

 

[reggiemental]

I played piano on a talking dog record. Anyone remember the dog on the Esther Rantzen show, that used to say 'sausages'? Never actually got to meet the 'dog star', as his bit was recorded at home and then overdubbed in the studio.

 

[paul881]

Woman: You know you make corsets, right?
Me: Yes, I dare say I do...
Woman: Well, can you make one with nipple holes, like those bras in Ann Summers...?
Me: *blink* erm *choke* well *stutter* I can recommend someone who might...

You don't want to know how many shades of red I went! Which just reminds me of how much of a prude I am.

A couple of years back, my wife wanted a corset as part of her birthday presents from me; not a tacky horrible one but a good quality garment that she could wear as a top if she wanted.

So I did some research and contacted a very well known UK manufacturer and the first thing the very nice lady asked me was whether the corset was for me!!!