we never needed another writer, only an exceptional good proofreader.

[Dehary]

Please give me your opinions,
I am badly dyslectic and a film director and trying to make my first debut film after so many years in the industry. The tow letter below explain my situation. one from a friend tray to help and the other from the writers union try to bully me.
Thank you very much.



From my friend to the writers union
I witnessed the following:
Dehary Gan found the details of Your writer X (a writer) on the Internet and approached her for his urgent project of proofreading his Movie script for the British Film Institue who were interested and polishing up his English and writing a book based on his script which is very Loosely Based on his life.


He asked her by phone if she could do it and she was very positive so they agreed to meet. The writer seemed to be happy to come and see us .

I was present during the whole meeting.

To start with writer was stuck in somewhere in the middle of London because of Tube problems so we got her a taxi which we paid for.

When she arrived at our place we took her out for lunch to a Pub which we paid for.
My friend asked the writer for proofreading his script urgently.The writer seemed to understand his requirements and was very persuasive my friend agreed to hire her.


The first contract about the Movie Script was a very urgent requirement we had 2 weeks to meet producer but we agreed for 3 weeks if my friend could delay the meeting with 2 producers. my friend had only 2 weeks left to present his script to his two producers and because my friend is heavily dyslexic and wanted to proofread the Script thoroughly and polish up the English first. my friend did not ask the writer to change the script in any way or to add /change /delete characters. my friend is a very good storyteller and writer. my friend even has one script with National theater. He has lots of credentials. He does not need anybody to write stories for him. My friend just was under time pressure and needed help with his Dyslexia and his English as he is not an English native speaker.


After one week the writer submitted the first week's work the writer had done for . It was one page of writing. It was a new story. Also, the work looked like it was done within 2 hours and not one week's work even so the writer was supposed to be in contact with my friend on a daily basis which the writer never did and also not to change anything without getting my friend approval which the writer never did. The writer disappeared for 8 days. Then after 8 days she suddenly sends a page. It was not even run through the spell checker.

I spotted typos when reading it .

We were shocked that one week had been wasted and £250 that we had paid . We were both very disappointed with the delivered work. Not only it was not what my friend had asked , but also it lacked quality even regarding spelling mistakes and the story.

After that my friend tried to liaise with the writer regarding the work.My friend said I would be happy to pay her if the writer please could amend the work immediately and would do what needed to be done but the writer wanted to be paid first before doing any amendments.

Surely, when you agree to do work for a client you make sure your client is happy with your work before you demand payment.

I am happy to testify the above in court. As a result, my friend had to send the script as it was to his producers and might have jeopardized his opportunity with them, losing the opportunity to bring them on the board to get a budget for the movie and send it to the British film institute, who have been given the treatment and synopsis of the film and waiting for the budget. Don't you think anybody after sending in their proposal 5 months ago to the British Film Institute would want a new script?


Even if my friend wanted a new story he wouldn't be able to because the treatment and synopsis had been already proofread by me and sent off to the British Film Institue and other Producers last September and it has been logged in and copyrighted.

Last but not the least if anybody is supposed to pay anybody, it is the writer who should pay back the £x was paid plus the damages that the writer wasted our time my friend could have used to give the script to somebody else to proofread. And because of that the script might not be approved. Best regards



from the writers union
Thank you for your prompt reply and details account of the situation from your perspective.


As your friend is still refusing to meet the contractual obligations I am left with no other choice than to refer this matter onto our solicitors

 

[Newchodge]

You mention the first contract'. Did you have a written contract with the writer?

 

[fisicx]

And what did that contract ask the writer to do?

 

[Dehary]

Thank you for your email,
yes I do .
tow contract one for prof reading and one for writing a book.
this only about prof reading .
ps: as soon as that happende I send her 2 emails saying

1st "I asked you to do, proofreading my script well and correcting my English not writing a new story,"

2ed: I give you 24 hours for one more chance that you give me 30 pages proof read and get paid as long as it is to my satisfaction. If I don't receive satisfactory work consider we have no arrangement any longer. And please remember, if you want to add anything you have discuss that with me first in writing..
thank you again

 

[fisicx]

What does the contract with the writer say?

Does it say they are to only proofread the document and is there a timescale for delivery?

 

[Dehary]

Thank you for your email.
there are 2 contracts 1st for prof reading of my script whis was/ is ergent 2ed for my book a personal story based on the script
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1st: contract for prof reading
SCRIPT CONSULTANT'S AGREEMENT


Between
and,
considerationof (me)agreeingtopaytheScriptConsultantafeeofxxxtheScriptConsultant:


1. will provide her services , t? SRript Copsultant bl 'r.writing the screenplay provisionally entitledATaste ofLifeftomt-8f t..to "
c Kn owredges and agrees that the results and proceeds of the Services will be owned by (Dehary -Me) and the Script Consultant hereby assigns those results and any proceeds to (as a present assignment of present and future copyright) and (Me)retains all intellectual property and ownership of subject matter,
3. ·acknowledges and agrees that (Me) is free to adapt, assign, license, dispose of or otherwise deal with the Script, and the results and proceeds of the Services;
4. agrs attheFeewillbepaidinthe followingin st lm .,
( U GBP on commencement, ana
l GBP.,io-eortiplel1ononto the extent that the Script Consultant has moral rights in the Script, the Script Consultant hereby consents to material alterations to the Script by (ME) (or his assignees or licensees) for the purposes of developing the Script and producing and marketingthe Film, including by:
(a) editingtheFilmtomeettelevisiontimeslots;
(b) incorporating advertisements into the Film to be broadcast on television or transmitted on a diffusionservice;
(c) meeting the legal requirements of broadcasting authorities;
(d) ensuringthattheFilmmeetsanylegalrequirementsorclassificationrequirementsorto avoidabreachoflaw;
(e) making foreign language versions by way of dubbing or subtitling theFilm;
(f) making in-flight and/or on-board versions of theFilm;
(g) usingexcerptsoftheFilmforthepurposeofpromotionoftheFilmincludingbywayof
teasersandadvertisements;a.nd
(h) making non-interactive on-line versions of theFilm;
6. will keep confidential all information acquired in the course of providing the Services, includingthe Draft and theScript;
7. willattend allmeetingstodiscussthe Draft,asreasonablyrequested by(ME)
8. warrants that he/she is authorised to enter into this Agreement, and that all of the Services will be original and will not infringe the rights of any thirdparty.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
2ed: for my book a personal story based on the script

SCRIPT CONSULTANT'S AGREEMENT


Between

and


t agreeing to pay the Script Consultant a fee of GBPthe Script Consultant:


1_ will provide herseies as the Sript Consultant by adapting the screenplay provisonaly_


entitled a novel from
.:.-Ck now1ed ges and agrees that the results nd procee/s of the Services will be owned by

Dhary, and the Script Consultant hereby assigns those results and any proceeds to Dhary, (as a present assignment of present and future copyright) andDhary, retains all intellectual property and ownership of subject matter;

3 _ acknowledges and agrees that Dhary,is free to adapt, assign, license, dispose of or otherwise deal with the novel, and the results and proceeds of the Services;


4_ agrees that the Fee will be paid in the followJi


t stalments: rJ .I h 2t:J/g


(a) GBPon m en cem. f{l)e?tA. t1/ I ', UJ/

P n oomplet,on on b,Sc}) d 1 : .. 25/r /

5 . to the extent that the Script Consultant ha ghts in the!' ovel, the Script Consultant <J·

hereby consents to material alterations to the novel by Mr Karimbeik (or his assignees or licensees) for the purposes of developing the novel and producing and marketing it;

6_ willkeepconfidentialallinformationacquiredinthecourseofprovidingtheServices;

7_ will attend all meetings to discuss the novel, as reasonably requested by Dhary,;

8. warrants that he/she is authorised to enter into this Agreement, and that all of the Services will

be original andwillnotinfringetherightsofany thirdparty_





Dated :

Executed and agreed by:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you again
Dhary,

 

[Dehary]

time for prof reading was 3 weeks .

time for the book 3 weeks too
thank you

 

[Dehary]

one more point.
reading and writing is rely hard for me. so I rely did not read the above contract and I signed it . she was very prospective and thought we are at the trust leave because of what we do.
and verbal agreement is everything . and that I have.
thank you

 

[Newchodge]

Sorry, I can't understand that. Can you reproduce the first paragraph of the proof reader's contract, please?

 

[fisicx]

time for prof reading was 3 weeks .

time for the book 3 weeks too
thank you

Except it doesn't say that in the contract. it says:

"1. will provide her services...writing the screenplay provisionally entitled ATaste ofLife"

It says she will write the screenplay - nothing in there about proofreading anything.

 

[Dehary]

- considerationofDehary (this is my name ) agreeing topay theScriptConsultanta fee of x theScript

Consultant:


1. will provide her services as the script consultant by rewriting the screenplay provisionally entitled….. from 28Dec2017 to 19th Jan2018

acknowledges and agrees that the results and proceeds of the Services will be owned by Dehary and the Script Consultant hereby assigns those results and any proceeds to Dehary (as a present assignment of present and future copyright) and Dehary retains all intellectual property and ownership of subject matter,

3. · acknowledges and agrees that Dehary is free to adapt, assign, license, dispose of or otherwise deal with the Script, and the results and proceeds of the Services;



4. the Feewillbe paidinthefollowingin stlm .



( U GBP on commencement, ana ]

'-(bl GBP.,io-e<Jfliplel1onon

5. totheextentthattheScriptConsultanthasmoralrightsintheScript,theScriptConsultantherebyconsentstomaterialalterationstotheScriptbyMrKarimbeik(orhisassigneesor licensees)forthepurposesofdevelopingtheScriptandproducingandmarketingtheFilm,includingby:

(a) editingtheFilmtomeettelevisiontimeslots;

(b) incorporating advertisements into the Film to be broadcast on television or transmitted on adiffusion service;

(c) meeting the legal requirements of broadcastingauthorities;

(d) ensuring that the Film meets any legal requirements or classification requirements or to avoid a breach oflaw;

(e) making foreign language versions by way of dubbing or subtitling theFilm;

(f) making in-flight and/or on-board versions of theFilm;

(g) using excerptsoftheFilmforthe purposeofpromotion oftheFilmincluding bywayof teasersandadvertisements; and

(h) making non-interactive on-line versions of theFilm;





6. will keep confidential all information acquired in the course of providing the Services, includingthe Draft and theScript;

7. will attend all meetings to discuss the Draft, as reasonably requested by MrKarimbeik;

8. warrants that he/she is authoris-ed to enter into this Agreement, and that all of the Services will be original and will not infringe the rights of any thirdparty.

 

[Newchodge]

There is no mention of proof reading anywhere in that contract. The contract requires that she will re-write the screenplay.

It doesn't matter what you talked about and agreed verbally. You signed a contract asking her to re-write.

Who produced the written contract?

 

[Dehary]

It was copy of a contract she already brought with her and just add the names and amount

 

[Dehary]

but after a week when she showed me what she had down .I wrote to her I do not want new story or rewriting , I wanted proof reading

 

[fisicx]

You may have wanted proofreading but the contract you signed was for her to write a screenplay.

 

[Dehary]

and gave her time to do it

 

[Newchodge]

You had a contract for her to re-write. You don't have the right to change that contract without her agreement.

 

[fisicx]

and gave her time to do it

It doesn't say that in the contract.

 

[Newchodge]

It doesn't say that in the contract.

The second version says 28 December to 19 January.

Dehary, what date did she produce her first piece of work?

 

[fisicx]

The second version says 28 December to 19 January.

Indeed it does - and it also says she will rewrite the screenplay, nothing there about proofreading

 

[The Byre]

I can't make much sense of any of this and much of it seems to be an exercise in futility!

It certainly does not read like a script writing contract. It reads as if someone has imagined what a script writing contract aught to look like. In short, it is a pile of rubbish!

• It makes no provision for options and residuals.
• It completely fails to establish format (aka 'Studio Format') - something EVERY script contract MUST do!
• It fails to establish any IMDB and screen-credits - something EVERY professional script writer and consultant is razor-sharp over (they are worth MORE than the up-front payment!)
• And it fails to set out a series of payments, in the (unlikely!) event of the movie going into production.

Unfortunately, you have signed that pile of rubbish!

On a whole series of much wider points -

1. Most of Hollywood is dyslexic and it was started almost exclusively by foreigners with extremely limited English language skills. Some directors and producers didn't speak any English and had to work through interpreters! So stop worrying!

2. No serious producer (i.e. someone with access to funds and facilities to make a movie) cares if your script is a mess. Even if it is in the most beautiful English ever written, it will get rewritten several times anyway! Most of the script should be visual instruction and not dialog.

A looks at B.
B looks at A.
A punches B in the mouth.
B falls to the floor. His eyes are open. He is dead.

That's what a script looks like. Simple short sentences describing visual events - well within your English language capabilities!

3. Movies are primarily visual. You don't need some magic script editor for the first draft of a script and you don't get to have any say in the second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth drafts (each on different coloured paper). That's the job of the studio.

Tip One - Send me a tag-line and a VERY short treatment (200 words or less) and I can tell you where you go from here.

Tip Two - if this is to be a low budget movie, make it a comedy.

Tip Three - stay away from gritty urban dramas. Nobody wants to make them, because they all lose money!

Tip Four - stay away from long dialog. Movies are visual. The on-screen action alone should tell you what is happening. If you need dialog to move the story forward or develop character, you have written a radio play - and not a movie!

Tip Five - your script will be first read by a student, working for about £10 per script. He or she will have to write a brief synopsis of your great work. If you write it for them, you will get a better write-up!

Tip Six - if you get as far as having your script read by a real live script editor, that person will only bother to read the first 10-to-15 pages. If those pages rock, the script gets sent 'upstairs'; if they suck, it goes in the bin! So make those first 15 pages the most amazing and tantalising 15 pages of movie script ever written!

 

[The Byre]

P.S. Forget the book. If the movie gets made and IF it earns money (That's a whole lot of IFs!) then the studio will have optioned the book and give it to some hack (i.e. professional ghost writer) who will bang the whole thing out in a few months for a (low) set fee and your name will be on the cover.

 

[democritus]

You have broke the number one rule in Film making my friend, trust me i have watched loads!
Yes i know your post is about proof reading but i have dyslexia too so i read this with great interest .

This is a classic example of someone seeing your Kindness as a weakness ,and you know i'm right!
You first paid for her Taxi? in London? that's at least a tenner and since most decent writers have holes in there shoes from running away from Debt collectors -that Taxi ,trust me . Was like hiring a rolls royce!

Being foreign with dyslexia was your second mistake, Bruce Lee, Al Pacino, Chuck Norris, John Wayne - all there script writers were Foreign with dyslexia- so straight away she's admiring the tinted glass in that taxi and sticking her chewing gum under the seat thinking "He's related to someone famous-better get rid of the Hubba Bubba?"

Now i'm not sure what pub you took her too but as soon as you mentioned the pub after spending a Hollywood fortune on a London Taxi, you destroyed that young ladies soul...
No longer is she seeing her name in stars on Hollywood boulevard, no longer is she limboing in Malibu with JK Rowling...but no, she's going to the pub isn't she, it's a two for one pub and she's been before and she's so depressed now that she's thinking how to get rid of your bodies-you and your mate?

If you think about how close you came to death before she asked you for two hundred and fifty large i guess you and your friend could call your selves lucky.
But the truth is she spotted your kindness as weakness, spared your lives and charged you 250 quid for the pleasure.

If your writing is good enough you don't need spell check, and it's pretty hard to steal a good writers work too because they have something that that most don't !

Just put it down to bad luck my friend, dust your self off, fasten your seatbelt and enjoy the ride, life's too short to be going to court over two hundred and fifty quid-but at the same time remember the lesson she taught you.

Stay Lucky.

 

[Dehary]

thank you very much every body

 

[Dehary]

Send me a tag-line and a VERY short treatment (200 words or less) a

I like very much to send you the above, where should I send it please.
thanks

 

[Newchodge]

Going back to your original problem, is the writer now demanding additional payment? If so, I would do nothing as they were in breach of the contract by not producing the document by 19 January. See if the writer's union does anything.

 

[The Byre]

I like very much to send you the above, where should I send it please.

Just send me a private message via this forum!

If your writing is good enough you don't need spell check, and it's pretty hard to steal a good writers work too because they have something that that most don't !

Oh yes you do need to spell-check the thing - and it has to comply with the so-called Hollywood 'standard' script format of Courier 12-point, with all the rules about indenting speech and action, so that one page of script is roughly one minute on screen. That way, a 120-page script is clearly two hours long and if the studio is looking for something shorter, they know that x-number of pages have to go.

Considering that there are so many script-writing software packages that can correct spelling and auto-format to 'Studio Format' and macros for InDesign, Word, etc. there are really no excuses for rocking up with anything other than what the industry expects. Even if you are making a student project for no money, you will have to give the cast and crew copies and they will expect a certain format, so that they know what is going on.

At this stage, I strongly suspect that the OP needs to to learn the basics of how to write a movie script. And I am deliberately using the word 'movie' and not 'cinema' or 'film' - movies are what we all enjoy watching, cinema is page after page of dialog and at the end, someone's aunt dies.

Movies can be great art (e.g. Blade Runner 2049) or just goofy entertainment (Star Wars - Return of the Jedi). They can be profound social commentary (War of Planet of the Apes) or just light-hearted nonsense (Legally Blond).

But they all comply with the two rules of telling a good story - there are ten stories and ten climactic parts to those stories. Even the New Testament complies with that structure.

For those of you playing 'The Home Game', you should read 'Save the Cat' by Blake Snyder. (You will never watch a movie again with the same eyes after reading that book!) And for those of you who fancy a writing career in the movies 'How (not) to Write a Screenpaly' by D.M.Flinn.

 

[Dehary]

Going to the writers email to me in ever email she wrote "Please make the payment today. As a member of the Writer's Guild of Great Britain, I have the benefit of free legal representation,"

 

[paulears]

I also suspect that you have tried to write what you thought was a legally sound, tight contract with everything really clear - but what you actually wrote because of the dyslexia was a total distortion of what you really wanted to say. You know you wanted proof reading, but that isn't what you said. Sadly, even with my limited understanding dimming of the law, that contract would if presented to the court, do more harm than good. If you need a proper contract in the future, go to a solicitor, explain what it needs to say and do and let them draft it. You've really got to write this one off, and move on.

I'm actually not even sure what you need is proof reading. That isn't what you want is it? You can't correct the errors in a document that makes little sense. The person would need to first understand what you meant rather than what you wrote - that's something they would need to do with you - a sentence or paragraph at a time. You can't do that without it being two way communications. Proof readers are looking for mistakes - grammar, punctuation, spelling and stuff like capitalisation. They want to leave the content as close to yours as possible - yours does need complete re-writing to make it make sense.

Is English your first Language? Some of the phrasing makes me think it isn't - the way the sentences are structured throughout. I doubt the person did a bad job, they did what they thought was the job.

 

[Dehary]

as you wrote
"that's something they would need to do with you - a sentence or paragraph at a time."

is correct and that is what I asked writer to do and asked her to come to my place for 3 days to that the writer refused . even after a week that i found what she is down is not what i wanted I proposed to her to come to a hotel near me for a week at my expense so we can work together because that is the only way but the writer refused .
also after we met I demanded that we have to be in contact on daily bases and she could not Chang or add anything without me agreeing with it it she agreed but she never phoned me .and she said we can use Skype. but to my embarrassment computer is another problem for me.

and I was not dealing with a cowboy builder . I trusted the writer.
I have worked in theater and film all my life and most arrangements are verbal, and there is trust between artist and intellectual people in England Italia, Spain that I have worked but not in holly wood and now in UK.

 

[paulears]

Perhaps you just put your trust in the wrong person? I have to say that I too work without contracts in the theatre industry when it won't matter, but for anything where serious money and time is at stake - then contracts are the way every production company has to do it. VAT, and the tax status dictate everyone covers their rears now - and I don't drive 5 hours and pay for the hotel unless I'm certain I'm going to get it back!

My contracts have the least amount of legalese - to get the job done and get paid. Only today, I had somebody tell me they "don't do VAT - we always pay in cash for an event we agreed a price for" I'm now left with taking a 20% hit, or not doing it. Not a huge sum - but the agreement on the phone was "£1800 plus VAT" which they agreed to, they then want to pay with no receipts a lower figure. I won't fiddle my accounts for anyone - and with Facebook clearly showing the event in question, they must assume nobody at HMRC ever goes on line! My contract is very clear, and they won't sign. Yours was accidentally made confusing so while I know you believe you asked for something and got let down - the paperwork clearly gives them a get out. Move on, and write not off to experience, annoying though it is.

 

[Newchodge]

Actually, @paulears I think the writer produced the contract. Everything else you say is spot on.

 

[ethical PR]

Why didn't your friend who came with you read through the contract to make sure it was okay before you signed it? It wouldn't have been difficult for them to see that any mention of proof-reading wasn't in there.

You also need to get real no-one is going to spend a week at a hotel or your home working with you for 250 pounds.

If you just wanted someone to proof-read they don't need to work with you they just need to proof the content you provided them with.

 

[Dehary]

it dose not let me to send any thing to you until I have 30 posts.

If you wish to send your I would happily to send you the treatment and the tag line .
kind regards

​

 

[Dehary]

To The Byre, I have tried to send you a private message but it is not possible until I have posted 30 public posts. Please could you pm me with an alternative as I am allowed to receive private messages so we can communicate or suggest an alternative way for communication. Many thanks.