Use of the term "Sir" when addressing customers

[columbo]

Use of the term "Sir" when addressing customers...is this a little bit formal / old fashioned?

 

[tony84]

Old fashioned, but I suppose if your clients are older than its fine.

 

[myfairworld]

I think you have to be very careful about this and the decision may vary according to the setting.

Rather to my surprise I was 65 last weekend and I must say that I have never at any time liked to be addressed as 'madam' and can't see any possibility that I'll acquire a taste for it! So I suppose it partly depends on what you mean by 'older'. Presumably if you are using 'sir' in addressing some people then you are using 'madam' in addressing others?

The 'power' (for want of a better word) in just about anything you say lies in your intentions and attitude. You can be completely pleasant and encouraging while using the most informal language or completely unpleasant and discouraging. You can be completely pleasant and encouraging while calling people 'sir' and 'madam' or completely unpleasant and discouraging.

I think part of my dislike lies in my working class origins. Of course once upon a time even quite lowly as well as more upper market businesses of one sort or another had staff trained to address every customers as 'sir' or 'madam' and often this form of address was given in a spirit of genuine respect for a customer/potential customer. But the same way of addressing people was often used simply by a change of intonation and expression as a put down to people regarded as below the notice of that particular business. While there are some people around who like the 'sir' & 'madam' form of address there are others (like me) who sharply remember the other side to the 'sir' and 'madam' thing.

Personally I go for the intention I hear in the speech and see in the eyes and the body language of the person I'm talking to and latch onto that even with those who are uncultured and maybe even positively uncouth in their speech.

N.B. I was recently pretty much 'madamed' to death in a shop but it was okay because it was an extremely traditional establishment well known as such in my town. So the 'sir' and 'madam' stuff was okay because you know when you set foot in that shop you are entering an former age and will be addressed in traditional terms by everyone from the apprentice to the boss and it is part of the atmosphere. They also offer things you can't buy elsewhere and uniquely good customer service e.g. I went in with an item still working but which had lost one feature for which I'd bought it some years before from the same shop. I went in to buy a new one and did in fact do so but during my visit they repaired the fault in the old one so I walked out with one for immediate use and one spare and I really do need and appreciate the spare.

In my own shop my staff would never be required to address people as 'sir' or 'madam' in fact I'd positively discourage them from doing so as really most customers would not like to be addressed in that way.

 

[beasty]

100% of people have names, handy things

P.S

Madam finish your veg is for kids being brats

 

[tsubibo]

I think calling someone sir or madam somewhat denotes respect, not age. Although there is a time and a place for everything.

 

[djwellis]

I generally call everyone Sir. But that's probably because it was drilled into us at school.

From 17 year olds to 90 year olds. It is a little more respectful and hides that fact that I never remember anyone's name

 

[columbo]

Thanks for the great responses so far.

I am a keen user of the word "sir"

But recently, I was dealing with another business representative who called me "sir" a lot and you know what - It did not actually build rapport between me and the representative I was dealing with. Rather the "sir" term actually seemed to put a distance between us (from my perspective). It is amazing the perspective you get from the other side of the counter.

This is why i might stop using the term because if there is a distance between you and the customer - they are less likely to buy from you.

 

[lex]

I'd say the choice of title for a customer is down to your business' brand tone.

If you're a more informal style brand, then "sir" is probably overdoing it. If however you're a luxury retailer then "sir" is likely to be expected.

You should consider brand tone and how you want to be considered in every form of communication with your customers to ensure you're consistent.

 

[Darryl Wright]

Everybody likes to feel important so if you use sir or another suitable title when addressing a customer, then good for you

 

[MyAccountantOnline]

I think it depends on where it is and who you are talking/writing to.

Personally I prefer people to use my name.

The one I do hate which is becoming especially common is being addressed as ''guys''

 

[RPower]

I think it's fine - although I would prefer to be called Miss/Madam.

At what point do you stop being a Miss and start being a Madam?

 

[14Steve14]

If they are your customers and you know them, then using a name is fine, but what do you call people you dont know. What alternatives are there to sir/madam which will generally be agreeable to everyone, or at least most people. If you know the name calling them Mr or Mrs until you feel comfortable using first names is fine, but using first name can seem a bit over friendly.

I used to be a bailiff and a debt collector, and calling people sir or madam diffuses many a situation, seems less aggressive and is a way of breaking the ice. Some of the modern equivalents do seem a bit strange. Things like guys, lads, chaps and the like seem very unprofessional.

So how do others address customers or new clients?

 

[paulears]

Only experience will teach you it's not the word 'Sir', but it's delivery. It can offend easily if done poorly - I'm getting on, but can easily work out who to use it on and who not to.

I will address people of almost any age as 'Sir' when it's appropriate. Some of the guys who work for me try it, and often fail. It must be delivered sincerely with the proper respect. Equally, I've occasionally used it to politely insult somebody - it's a great word that is far away from a swear word insult, but just as effective if aimed correctly.

Much of my contact time with the public is when I am doing technical things and my contact is peripheral to my real job. For this, I wear clothes that can get dirty and are practical, and a sort of uniform. Some of these jobs have a more traditional and older audience - for these shows I always wear a short and tie. Wearing a tie tells them I am in charge, and can get things done, and will be able to answer questions. My people in their black trousers and polo shirts get ignored, and even if they speak to them nicely, they don't get the level of respect I get, because of my clothes and my grey hair.

In fact - one notable example - 1400 50+ members of the public, many disabled. Fire alarm went off. My team attempted to evacuate them quickly and safely, but their appearance and speech style meant many of the audience ignored them and missed opportunities to get out quicker. I, on the other hand used 'Sir' and 'Madam' respectfully but with authority, and people obeyed me and did what they were told without argument. Just one of my team, a 23 year old, well brought up girl, who's mother was a headmistress was able to do the same - Her tone of voice was spot on, and despite her age, they did what she said - one of my other guys was in his fifties and he shouted a lot, but got ignored.

There is no doubt science behind this, and I really don't quite understand it, but can use it!

 

[Nuno]

I think it's fine - although I would prefer to be called Miss/Madam.

At what point do you stop being a Miss and start being a Madam?

When you get a lease in Soho?

 

[Christine Hough]

Its not as bad as being called by your first name as soon as they get it!

 

[MASSEY]

Think it depends on what line of work you are in. If you are selling high end goods you may call people sir or madam, for the more generic services i think mr and misses does the job.

 

[JEREMY HAWKE]

I have always dealt with some people in high places and some in not so high places . I have always treated everybody the same and never use Sir or Madam and I don't expect to be addressed that way by anybody else . You can call somebody a high end customer if you like but why are you not thinking about the customer spending peanuts in the same way . The customer spending peanuts could well make it big in the nest few years and could be your biggest deal !!
Remember that one !!
I have always found actors the worst I have no time for them and have no problem if the ;lady from Brookside reads this !!! So no sir or madam from me !!!

 

[Vectis]

Its not as bad as being called by your first name as soon as they get it!

Yes, and then using it in every sentence. Hate it.

 

[Andrew Scarre]

It 100% depends on your business/service. If you're greeting someone at the Four Seasons, I would suggest 'Sir' is appropriate. If you're answering the phone at a web development agency, I would suggest it is not. What industry do you operate in?

 

[series530]

I deal with the general public in their homes. Their home could be a studio flat or it could be a Surrey mansion or anything inbetween.

I will always initiate the conversation with Mr Smith or Ms Jones or whatever and, if I am honest, the name tends to be dropped from then onward. It will never revert to a christian name or something like "mate" as I want to portray a friendly but professional service and attitude. Invariably, if I have to address somebody by name again later in the meeting I will have to check it on my quotation sheet as I tend to forget their sir name rather too easily!

It isn't so much about how you address people by name through the interaction but, in my opinion, how you conduct yourself throughout the meeting. I try to be non threatening, polite, professional but not too distant. Aloof works in some instances, but very seldom. Generally the approach seems to work as the conversion rates are healthy.

 

[columbo]

I deal with the general public in their homes. Their home could be a studio flat or it could be a Surrey mansion or anything inbetween.

I will always initiate the conversation with Mr Smith or Ms Jones or whatever and, if I am honest, the name tends to be dropped from then onward. ...

Aloof works in some instances, but very seldom. Generally the approach seems to work as the conversion rates are healthy.

When you say the name tends to be dropped - what do you mean?

 

[colour24]

I think 'Sir' still works when you are talking to a more senior chap on the phone, but not face to face. This formal approach is going out of fashion now.