To kiss or shake hands?

[Noah]

Shake hands, hold her hand a bit long and transfer the warmness. Still professional but more powerful.
(Don't tell my wife I wrote this...)

If any person of any sex does that sort of thing to me, I assume they are manipulative and insincere; not a great start to a business relationship.

 

[Toby Willows]

Let’s be rational. It’s not a stupid question and certainly is very relevant that it’s women buyers the op is meeting.

Simple etiquette is:-

Men meeting men shake hands, certainly never kiss!

Women meeeting women will shake hands and/or kiss.

Men meeting women (or women meeting men) there is no set etiquette. The only solution is a shake of hands and then to follow the females lead. Trouble is this is further complicated by the fact that it’s the person who is attending the meeting that should instigate introductions and their gender is irrelevant.

There was a regular female rep whom I dealt with that would always want the kiss (hate kissing but didn’t want to offend), certainly didn’t consider it harassment of any kind though, so why would a women?

 

[Mr D]

There was a regular female rep whom I dealt with that would always want the kiss (hate kissing but didn’t want to offend), certainly didn’t consider it harassment of any kind though, so why would a women?

Because you are not a woman?
You don't get guys coming onto you very much?
You don't get people trying to feel you up in public?
You don't fear sexual harassment?

There's a woman I know accepts handshakes at work, someone tries to kiss her is going to be on the floor in pain. Nice girl, doesn't invite kisses from men she isn't married to though. Some males in previous workplaces have taken a time or two to learn in the past but they can and do learn.

Some people try and avoid situations to keep themselves safe, some react to situations and make themselves safe.

 

[Noah]

Men meeting men shake hands, certainly never kiss!

Depends on culture; most traditional British men don't, but there are some who do and plenty of men from other cultures whose upper lips are not quite so stiff. Still, it is the exception.

In any case, the principle is simple : try to avoid both giving and taking offence.

 

[Toby Willows]

Depends on culture; most traditional British men don't, but there are some who do and plenty of men from other cultures whose upper lips are not quite so stiff. Still, it is the exception.

In any case, the principle is simple : try to avoid both giving and taking offence.

It’s “UK” business forums, and that’s the context I was referring to, obviously. But accept your comment.

 

[Toby Willows]

Because you are not a woman?
You don't get guys coming onto you very much?
You don't get people trying to feel you up in public?
You don't fear sexual harassment?

There's a woman I know accepts handshakes at work, someone tries to kiss her is going to be on the floor in pain. Nice girl, doesn't invite kisses from men she isn't married to though. Some males in previous workplaces have taken a time or two to learn in the past but they can and do learn.

Some people try and avoid situations to keep themselves safe, some react to situations and make themselves safe.

I tolerate women wanting hugs and kisses in business meetings and personal life as well. I absolutely hate the kissing thing, send shivers down my spine, but I go through with it as I understand the woman thinks it’s ok and I don’t wish to offend. I will try to avoid the kiss/Hug but it’s not always possible.

Horses for courses and just accept we are not all the same, and also because people have different social etiquette doesn’t make them rapists or perverts.

 

[Mr D]

Horses for courses and just accept we are not all the same, and also because people have different social etiquette doesn’t make them rapists or perverts.

True, it doesn't make them that. They can come across that way however.

However someone who has come across those who do not take no for an answer, who invade personal space, who lay hands where they shouldn't, who has a lack of respect from particular individuals - that person may well react badly to someone pushing boundaries they should not be testing.

Think of it from your own perspective.
Don't answer, I don't want to know and I'm sure some other people may be uncomfortable knowing but just in your own mind imagine this.

You work in a company, you are yourself - a male colleague comes up behind you and slaps you on the bottom and walks off.
Later that male colleague slips his arm around your waist and hugs then walks off.

Feeling uncomfortable? Feeling annoyed?

Now fast forward a few years, working for another company, you are in a buyer meeting and at the end of it a male buyer leans over and tries to kiss you.
Feeling uncomfortable again?

Humans can feel uncomfortable in many situations that for another human may be all right.
What you and I accept or find uncomfortable may be different than what another person finds acceptable behaviour.

Humans in a particular society tend to deal with different comfort levels and societal habits by using a semi standard set of protocols useable in polite company.

Handshakes. Politeness. Showing respect for the other person. Working to not make them uncomfortable. Artificial behaviour that in a more social setting may be overridden by your social protocols.
At work you can behave one way while on a works night out you may ask that young lady in accounting for a dance. Behaving differently as different expected behaviour.

Oh, and if you don't like the kissing thing, an air kiss is acceptable in some cultures. I'll kiss my mum on the cheek, not my sisters.