Press release - does it need to be amended

[allanchester]

Hi everyone
I have written a Press Release for my company and I would appreciate any positive/negative comments or general advice - ukpostbox(.)com
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
PRESS RELEASE: February 2009

Launch - The Premier UK Online digital mailroom, UK Postbox(.)com
Standard Post (Royal Mail) can be accessed and managed 24/7 from anywhere there's an Internet connection - send and receive your post as email

UK Postbox has taken the massive, long awaited and enterprising step forward to change the way we will all view and respond to our postal mail.... alongside our email. By harnessing the availability of the internet, from our homes, offices, cafes and even mobile phones, now you can view all your incoming post online, decide whether to read, recycle, shred or forward on, and then even send a letter back in response from anywhere in the world. At last a postal service that allows you to travel and move around freely and still be 100% in control of your mail.

Receive post online
Living, working or travelling abroad and your UK postal mail cannot keep up with you. With a UK Postbox account you can manage your postal mail as easily as your email. You postal mail will be available online 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, from anywhere in the world. With your own secure UK Postbox account you will be able to easily view scanned images of ALL your received envelopes online, then choose to have your mail securely scanned into a PDF document so that you can view online, recycled, shredded or forwarded to you or someone else. You are in total control of your postal mail from any location in the World

Send post online
Need to write and send a letter while living, working or travelling abroad, now you can very easily. You can now send a letter to the UK from anywhere in the world, direct from your e-mail client or your secure online UK Postbox account. We can print practically anything, Word Documents, Powerpoint Presentations, PDF, Spreadsheets. We even offer the range of Royal Mail services to make sure your important letter arrives when you want it to - Special, Recorded and Registered Delivery so can relax and have peace of mind that your important document will arrive safely.

UK address and send
The internet has revolutionised the way we search and shop for goods in the 21st Century but if you are outside the UK you can find yourself very restricted. UK Address and Send is a unique service for people who want to use shop from their favourite stores online from outside the UK. You surf and shop in the normal way and then when you are asked for your UK address and Postcode, you use your own UK Postbox address. We receive your goods, sign for packages if required, store and forward to you overseas. You control where and when the packages are shipped, directly through you secure online UK Postbox account.

For further information, press pack and images please contact:
Company UK Postbox Limited
Contact Allan Chester
Address Head Office
Hollybank House
7 Old Wareham Road
Beacon Hill, Poole
Dorset. BH15 4EL
Telephone 0845 474 0812
Email allan_ukpostbox

 

[directmarketingadvice]

Simple question: what is there about this that's going to make a story people would want to publish (or read)?

Apart from the headline, which is weak, it reads like a not-very-good ad to me.

Hope this helps,

Steve

 

[Richard Glynn]

Hi Allan,

Yep, Steve's right I'm afraid.

What you have here is an advert.

Here's my belligerent well-meaning response.

You can communicate elements of an advert in a press release (message) but what you need to communicate above all is some juicy head-turning news (angle).

It's the difference between what you want to say - and what you need to say to get any journalist - and the journalist's readers - to take an interest.

Biggest? Best? Most? First? Just a generic check list this - but it helps me to begin the creative process to decide whether I end up with something newsworthy or not.

Words like 'premier' 'long-awaited' 'enterprising' are all fluff opinion words. You need some facts. And newsworthy ones too!

And I hadn't realised this was a problem I needed to solve?! Spell out why it's such a devastating problem to your key audiences with a relevant newsworthy case study.

"New Service Targets £50 Million Junk Mail with a Mouse Click" - perhaps? Or, maybe: "UK Businesses Waste £10 Billion in Mis-directed Mail Every Year." Each problem you solve deserves a separate mini-campaign. Don't try to cover it all in one release. (Too many angles)

Back it up with stats to illustrate why the problem you're solving is so horrific. Put your opinions in quotes - not in the body of the release.

And don't give up!

All the best.

Richard

 

[LowcostPR]

I agree with the other posters, this is really an advert masquerading as a press release which is something that will irritate a Journalist.

Try and reword it so you have a problem (something along the lines of the difficulties faced by busy people who use the traditional post), some stats to back your claim up, and then the solution.

By merely writing about your service, the journalist will think that you are hoodwinking him into giving you a free ad.

And remember, the Journalist will only give you between 5 - 15 seconds for your press release to get his attention. If not, then it will be deleted with the rest of them. Make your opening sentence and paragraph a gripping one and you will be well on your way.

Why not give it another shot and let us know. If you have any difficulties, we specialise in helping small firms who are inexperienced in PR.

Otherwise, best of luck

Max

 

[allanchester]

Hi guys
I really appreciate your constructive comments.
I will relook and re draft again

Thank you for your assistance