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I thought I would drop by the lounge and let everyone know of my movements since I last dropped by...
I have decided to get out of the rat race and move away. Billy Ray and Cleon were very upset at this news and tried to get me to stay by removing the tyres from my new car and putting sugar in the engine.
Those guys!
Instead, I have decided to move to Ibiza and dedicate my life to good causes. I am going to start off by helping clean up after people who think that Paris Hilton is going to be the next Queen of America.
The plans are yet to be finalised, but here is an artist's rendition of my new home:
There is always room for expansion. Anything is possible in a liberal democracy.
Courtesy of a few string pulls by Bob Geldof, I have been allowed to use the services of The Richmond Hotel. I will be making meticulous notes of which Germans are waking up at 4 in the morning to put towels on the sunbeds.
Come Lunch time I will be chucking them all in the swimming pool, religiously
I am hoping I will have better luck on the island that never sleeps, and find true love. Word on the cobbles is you can pick up sophisticated ladies even when looking like a complete doink