How to word a special offer on a leaflet?

[Katy Radcliffe]

Hello!

I'm working on the copy for a flyer and I want to include an incentive/call to action.

It's for a domestic cleaning company. The way we ordinarily work with a new client is to do a deep clean to get their home cleaned to a level where they can then be maintained by weekly or fortnightly cleaning. A deep clean costs more than the regular clean because of the time involved.

For example: a 2-bedroom house may require four hours of deep cleaning and then two hours weekly maintenance.

Now, we do also do one-off deep cleans for people who just need something done one time, such as when moving house.

I want to say "Call today for £20 your first clean."

However, this only applies to the deep clean that starts off what will be an ongoing thing. There is no obligation for a client to have us come back, of course. If, for any reason, they feel like they don't want us back, I would only want to know why for purposes of improving the service. But, there is nothing that obligates someone to continue after that first deep clean.

The point is, I am seeking to add regular clients who will be repeat income and I want to give the "call to action" that will spur response. One-off deep cleans are not the bread-and-butter of the business and I would like to avoid discounting that service.

I think that a customer would be very angry if it in any way mislead or appeared to mislead and be "slick." So! How do I word it so that the client understands that this offer is for the first clean of many?

 

[Deleted member 157241]

Why don't you say:

"Book a deep clean today, and get your next clean for £20"

or

"Book a deep clean today and get your next three cleans for the price of two"

I don't know what your prices are and how much you want to discount, but you get the idea.

Hope this helps.

 

[Katy Radcliffe]

That is a possibility! Thanks for that. I'll look at the maths and then give it a think.

I do need to be careful not to get too focused on discounts, though. The fact is, we're more expensive than the competition. (We're not the most expensive in the area, but we're more expensive than many.) Our clients are those who pay for reliability, quality, consistency and value for money in the form of those little extras that the others may overlook.

So, if I go down the route of discounting too much, then I'm appealing to price shoppers. That is not our market.

So, I'm trying to balance the allure of a "call to action" incentive and the need to avoid devaluing our service.

 

[PrestonLad]

Hi Katy, You made a typo with your suggested offer... where you say "Call today for £20 your first clean.", I presume you're missing the word 'off'??

Anyway... how about.

Become a regular client, and we'll give you £20 off a deep clean. Call us now on 01234...

or

Join our growing list of regular satisfied clients and get an initial DEEP CLEAN for just £20 (*normally £40. No obligation)

Regular clients typically start with a 4hr deep clean, then require 2hrs per week to maintain cleanness. As a special offer, the deep clean is yours with a £20 discount. We're confident that you'll love us, but you won't be obliged to continue with the service.

 

[Elliottc26]

A call to action could be, for example:

Have your home cleaned to perfection without having to lift a finger.

Call today and save £20 off your first professional deep clean.

For a short time only, you can save a massive 50% off having your home sparkling clean - just call to order and let us do the hard work.

For more information and to order call xxxxx xxx xxx

P.S If you use this, may I have a testimonial please?!

 

[BobbyBoy]

How about

Book 1 clean for just £X
Book 2 cleans for just £x each (save 15%)
Book 5 cleans for just £x each (save 25%)

With offers, less is more (less words = more impact)

Bobby

 

[BustersDogs]

If you don't want to appeal to price shoppers, then why offer a discount?

I've got a new service that people have to pay for, but if they 'pass' and get accepted onto my service they get half the money back at a fiver off the next 5 sessions.

Could you do something like that? Offer the deep clean at a slightly higher rate, then take a certain amount off the next so many cleans, or offer a free 'deep clean' which they can take within a year, say, just before xmas, or a big party, or something similar.

 

[Elliottc26]

Basically, don't see it as a discount but as an incentive to take action. Offer enough to elicit an action from your targets.

 

[paulstewart64]

Katy

There are times when you get worry too much about the competitions prices. Instead, do some research and focus on what you can do better or different. What does a deep clean really mean?

If you are very clever, this is where you can link up with other cleaning providers to provide the ultimate clean and lock in a twice a year ultimate clean if you get it right.

If you continue to focus on price then you are providing me, the buyer with the selection criteria. Should price be secondary to what the service actually provides? After all, people buy results don't they.

There are so many options for you here, perhaps you need to have a think before you commit to a sales gimmick through an offer.

 

[Saltt]

Okay there are more than a few suggestions here I think. But I just want to add a few additional points, which you may or may not have thought about.

Graphics and design aside, the wording in your leaflet will be made up of a headline, some body copy and a call to action. In my experience benefit-led or offer-led headline tend to work best.

> If you are talking to prospects (i.e. new people), don't assume they know everything about your business. You have to construct a mini argument on why they should use your service? i.e. what's in it for them? If you want to be really focussed, this will largely depend on your target audience. e.g. Give your house that once and for all clean, so you spend more time preparing for Christmas etc...

> Also how competitive is your business? You say you are more expensive, but what are the advantages you have over your competitors? It's important you communicate this because as you say it's not always about price. Perhaps your company is more experience, or have a unique method of cleaning - you have to think about this.

> It's all well and good, saying 50% off, £20 off in a headline or something. But when somebody says I can get £20 off something, the most natural to ask is 'off what?'. Make sure you answer this - because it will make your leaflet more compelling.

> Have you thought about making it a timed offer. E.g. This offer ends on 31 December...book now and have your home cleaned and ready for the New Year.

> Why don't you test different call to actions? If you measure your leaflet campaign properly - you'll know what works better and you can improve on your efforts for your next campaign.

BW
Daniel