Great cold call conversation yesterday from some company called Nova, or something like that -
Me: Hello
CC: I am from Nova-Something and I would like to talk to the person that deals with websites in your company.
Me: That's probably why you were put through to me.
CC: Well, we are calling about your website, which we found on page one of Google using the key words suitable for your business and we feel that you would benefit from our new targeted search engine optimisation tools. We estimate that you are missing out on at least 200 hits a day. Those 200 hits could be translated into new business and I assume that you could use that extra business.
Me: Sorry, what was the name of your company again?
CC: Nova Something.
Me: And what key words would I use to find your company?
CC: Well, er, that would be, er, well . . .
Me: You used the expression " targeted search engine optimisation tools" so how about "targeted search engine optimisation tools UK"?
CC: Well, er, I suppose that could, er . . .
Me: Perhaps you could suggest some others?
CC: Well, er, I suppose they would be, well, that should be OK.
Me: (I type those words into Google) targeted - search - engine - optimisation - tools - UK, let's see - hmm, no, nothing on page one. Page two - no, nothing there. Let's have a look at page three, no nothing there. So page four should be - no. Still nothing! Page five - I can't see your company there either.
CC: Well what we are trying to get across is . . .
Me: Now just a minute. We are on page one, you've said that yourself. You are not on the first five pages. I suppose I could look further, perhaps you appear on page six, or ten, or twenty, or somewhere. But you are trying to sell me SEO tools - that me on page one and you, God knows where, perhaps page twenty, perhaps nowhere. Can you see what is wrong with that?
(Cold Caller hangs up.)