Help

[Lee Jones Jnr]

I am thinking of opening a candlestick makers but have no interest in doing so, knowledge about the industry, money to start the business or clue how to sell whatever I make. I don't know even the simplest things about business and thought that posting on here would be a good idea.




Some people say that there is no such thing as a stupid question, but they have never read the threads posted on here I reckon.

 

[GeorgeStrait]

What you need to do Lee is melt down some Thornton's chocolates, lob a wick in the middle and sell them through Tesco.

It's very easy to get your products into these supermarkets, all you have to do is speak the supervisor on duty in your local branch.

Production wise you can do it all in your back bedroom whilst running that web-design business at the same time, I presume like all good business people you do have that web-design business (I know, you can't wait until the time is right to add SEO to your portfolio).

Once you have got money coming in from Tesco you may want to consider out-sourcing your manufacturing plant from the bedroom to Kazakhstan, this will give you room to add a photography business to the web business.

Sorry may have been getting a bit ahead of myself, presume you have been made redundant and got your free vista print business cards, and also looked at setting up a Ltd company - although I do realise that is a very complicated process.

If I can be of any further help just PM me.

 

[MikeJ]

Excellent work. Right down to the completely generic "Help" in the title.

I love it when people do that, so the rest of us simply browsing the forum will see the word "Help" and think "Yes, I know how to help people, I'll open that thread and find out what it's about".

 

[kjmcculloch]

I've changed my mind. I now know that there IS such a thing as a stupid question, and this is it

Kris

 

[Working First Aid]

I once saw a flyer for a business that made candles purely from donated ear wax...

*shudder*

No idea how successful they were, but if you start collecting now you could have your first candle in 6 months or so - after that, they'll be no stopping you!

 

[AndyBlue]

I think this is a very valid post and highlights the challenges faced by people today with no interest in going into business but feel compelled to after reading forums like this. I think we should offer supportive advice telling Lee that there is no chance he could fail, that the recession is merely a plot by the Daily Mail and that all business owners drive Ferraris and work 3 days a year, and 2 of these are on the golf course.

 

[Parthelan]

It's very easy to get your products into these supermarkets, all you have to do is speak the supervisor on duty in your local branch.

This is the problem with internet forums. Everyones a guru or an expert

There is NO need to speak to the supervisor on duty.

Simple take your wares into the supermarket, set up your wallpapering table as your display and empty margarine tub as your cash register, and away you go.

Dont complicate things that arent complicated!

 

[OldWelshGuy]

I am thinking of opening a candlestick makers but have no interest in doing so, knowledge about the industry, money to start the business or clue how to sell whatever I make. I don't know even the simplest things about business and thought that posting on here would be a good idea.




Some people say that there is no such thing as a stupid question, but they have never read the threads posted on here I reckon.

Hi Lee, firt let me say you are not alone in your plight!

To make candles you will need a rather large tub, a polishing cloth and a 'dub dub'.

It is clear that you don't have the required skillset to push your new venture forward, so ideally take on some partners with complimenting skill sets.

If I were you I would look for a Butcher, and a baker to join your company, and then gather everything up and do some team building.

 

[amanda1112]

This post actually made me chuckle. I'm sure there's a bit of sarcasm in there somewhere!

 

[MASSEY]

Just get a piece of play dough and sink a match into it, with good advertising people buy anything these days, or so some one on the forum told me earlier.

 

[I Love Spreadsheets]

I once saw a flyer for a business that made candles purely from donated ear wax...

*shudder*

No idea how successful they were, but if you start collecting now you could have your first candle in 6 months or so - after that, they'll be no stopping you!

Do you mean the ear candle? A device you stick in your ear and light to rid yourself of ear wax - Its a real device you often see advertised in Chinese health windows

 

[Working First Aid]

Do you mean the ear candle? A device you stick in your ear and light to rid yourself of ear wax - Its a real device you often see advertised in Chinese health windows

Unfortunately not - this was a real candle made from human ear wax.

Trust me, I can tell the difference between the two products

 

[chris.quinn89]

Must have been a slow day for a few people...

 

[Lee Jones Jnr]

Must have been a slow day for a few people...

No idea how it's been for me, I've been sat in a waiting room all day.

 

[GeorgeStrait]

This is the problem with internet forums. Everyones a guru or an expert

There is NO need to speak to the supervisor on duty.

Simple take your wares into the supermarket, set up your wallpapering table as your display and empty margarine tub as your cash register, and away you go.

Dont complicate things that arent complicated!

What a throughly stupid piece of advice to give

 

[martin001]

I am thinking of opening a candlestick makers but have no interest in doing so, knowledge about the industry, money to start the business or clue how to sell whatever I make. I don't know even the simplest things about business and thought that posting on here would be a good idea.




Some people say that there is no such thing as a stupid question, but they have never read the threads posted on here I reckon.

I've got to say there does seem to be a suspicious influx of very dim-witted questions posted across the forums by various newbies.

 

[CKG]

I've got to say there does seem to be a suspicious influx of very dim-witted questions posted across the forums by various newbies.

The Apprentice in running on BBC1 again. Same thing will happen when Dragons Den comes back on, except they will be offering you 30% in their new candlestick making business that they know nothing about.

Business is the new rock and roll.

 

[vvaannmmaann]

Will these candles be the scented ones? Because I don't like those.
Remember,if the candles don't work out there are still openings for butchers and bakers.

 

[warnie]

Business is the new rock and roll.

yes, and thats what we'll all end up on

 

[Parthelan]

What a throughly stupid piece of advice to give

You're right :redface:

A workmate with 6 foot by 4 foot chipboard would be better than a wall-papering board.

:redface:

Sorry.

 

[GeorgeStrait]

You're right :redface:

A workmate with 6 foot by 4 foot chipboard would be better than a wall-papering board.

:redface:

Sorry.

Again stupid, have you felt the weight of chipboard, it bloody heavy.

What you obviously need to do is just clear a space on the shelves they have in there and use those. Maybe the alcohol aisle as that is always quiet busy so top spot.

 

[Remote Resources]

Don't forget to click on the affiliate links in all the sigs you come accross and buy it all for your business (before your business plan of course - need it all ready to go). Especially that hideously expensive, 24month contract for cloud accounting software. Free software is rubbish, click on my link, click on my link.







(newbies are not the only naughties.....)

 

[Parthelan]

Again stupid, have you felt the weight of chipboard, it bloody heavy.

What you obviously need to do is just clear a space on the shelves they have in there and use those. Maybe the alcohol aisle as that is always quiet busy so top spot.

See. I'd never have thought of that.

Im withdrawing from this conversation as of now.

You've out guru'd me and out experted me.

I am suitably ashamed and chasened, but honoured non the less to have engaged with such a brillant business person as yourself.

I have learned so much about myself and the world just from our few exchanges.

Moving forward, Im going to learn the lessons, engage in some blue sky thinking and push the envelope so I can take things to the next level.

I applaud you sir.

*Tips hat*

 

[Floyd Pink]

I also need some help.

I have found a niche in the market for selling nodding dogs with a high margin. Does anybody know how I can make more money at this without actually purchasing or holding any more stock than my initial allocation?

My idea would be to buy some crappy "me too" digital alarm clocks and sell them instead.

 

[GeorgeStrait]

See. I'd never have thought of that.

Im withdrawing from this conversation as of now.

You've out guru'd me and out experted me.

I am suitably ashamed and chasened, but honoured non the less to have engaged with such a brillant business person as yourself.

I have learned so much about myself and the world just from our few exchanges.

Moving forward, Im going to learn the lessons, engage in some blue sky thinking and push the envelope so I can take things to the next level.

I applaud you sir.

*Tips hat*

Well thank you Sir for realising the experience and value of advice I obviously gave you. Thanks to your post I have decided to open a business consultancy, if fact the back bedroom has already been cleared out and a laptop put in place ready, and I plan to get my PAYG business mobile this morning.

Does anyone know how I can market my consultancy and where I might be able to find some clients. It's retail only I have no idea where to start looking.

 

[AndyBlue]

George I've heard of a Forum where bored businessmen spend all day telling people fresh out of school how to start a business with no money and no ideas - might be worth putting a post on there - maybe call it help or something similar that shoudl get a few people reading the post anyway

 

[GeorgeStrait]

Thanks AndyBlue that's exactly the sort of useful advice I'm looking for.

Are there many retailers on that forum, and any of the big names?

I'm thinking my retail consultancy business should aim high so I'm thinking off the likes of Tesco, B&Q, Asda and Woolworths.

 

[papverpoppies]

Hi Lee;

I can help you make your way as a candle connoisseur without even making one candle.

Pop into your local pound shops and buy up all their stock; re-package with your own logo and then re-sell them.

I hope this will help you sir; for more information I can always send you a copy of my book 'home made candles for lazy s*ds! - price £24.99 or pop into the pound shop and buy it for .........yes; a £1.00.

The Business Guru!:| or will be by next week!


Pops ~xx~

 

[GeorgeStrait]

Hi Lee;

I can help you make your way as a candle connoisseur without even making one candle.

Pop into your local pound shops and buy up all their stock; re-package with your own logo and then re-sell them.

I hope this will help you sir; for more information I can always send you a copy of my book 'home made candles for lazy s*ds! - price £24.99 or pop into the pound shop and buy it for .........yes; a £1.00.

The Business Guru!:| or will be by next week!


Pops ~xx~

There's always some ready to steal someone's else's business idea when they realise how good it is

I'm going to have to set up as Ltd asap now so you can't trade as a Guru/Consultant to retailers.

Paverpoppies, to save on legal cost may I, with all due respect, ask you not to further your guru business for the time being. I'll have to trust you on this as I have to pop out to Poundland now.

 

[AndyBlue]

George I think you have hit on a great idea - Tesco UK sales down yoy, while Sainsbury & Asda have grown clearly need some advice. I would worry though about getting paid by woolworths if you do anything for them. I have heard a rumour (maybe unfounded) that they might have closed a few shops, someone did think they may have actually gone bust ?? Might be worth asking that forum about them at the same time.

As for Poppies suggestion about rebranding the candles, having owrked in food manufacturing you woudl be amazed the amount of businesses have this as their actual business model !!

 

[papverpoppies]

There's always some ready to steal someone's else's business idea when they realise how good it is

I'm going to have to set up as Ltd asap now so you can't trade as a Guru/Consultant to retailers.

Paverpoppies, to save on legal cost may I, with all due respect, ask you not to further your guru business for the time being. I'll have to trust you on this as I have to pop out to Poundland now.

This is not a problem, I shall take a days holiday from being a Guru, anyway it is raining, and I only Guru on sunny days...

You might be interested in the fact that I bought my Guruship after receiving an email from a Nigerian business man.

Do you know he was most helpful, he even saved me the time and bother of doing the transfer myself, by taking the funds from my account, all I had to do was give him my bank details.



Pops ~xx~

 

[GeorgeStrait]

I would worry though about getting paid by woolworths if you do anything for them. I have heard a rumour (maybe unfounded) that they might have closed a few shops, someone did think they may have actually gone bust ?? Might be worth asking that forum about them at the same time.

That is the general problems with forums, misinformation and rumours

What will they come up with next.

 

[directmarketingadvice]

I am thinking of opening a candlestick makers but have no interest in doing so, knowledge about the industry, money to start the business or clue how to sell whatever I make. I don't know even the simplest things about business and thought that posting on here would be a good idea.

Lee,

Some people on here will tell you you're a muppet that's about to pee his life up a wall, but you should ignore these trolls and just go for it!

Remember what Richard Branson said: "Screw it, let's do it"!

He's very rich and famous, so you can safely take anything he says out of context and follow it as though it's infallible advice.

Good luck with the candles!

Steve

 

[LABJES]

I am thinking of opening a candlestick makers but have no interest in doing so, knowledge about the industry, money to start the business or clue how to sell whatever I make. I don't know even the simplest things about business and thought that posting on here would be a good idea.




Some people say that there is no such thing as a stupid question, but they have never read the threads posted on here I reckon.

If you 'd like, I will work for you for £70 a day, otherwise your business wil fail miserably without me, as long as you make my sandwiches and get me to work every day.......oops that's another thread entirely!!

 

[K-rado]

WT$?
Are you lot for real?
The advice given here is shocking-ly bad!
Am I missing something?
Somebody on this very forum gave me advice to speed read the threads of there were to many pages.
I have flicked thru them. Shocking, shocking, shocking!
Poor ole OP is looking for some advice and you bombard him with a load of Tosh!

Well I never!

@ OP. Never mind this lot. Some of us here are actually here to help.
First. Draw yourself up a plan. Back of a fag packet will surface.
( after 2 or 3 weeks you will begin to enjoy this part of business star-up. Everybody knows that it is a load of old cobblers but you will need if for your bank manager and VC to make a cash deposit. I think you also need if for your road fund licence but I am not sure on this.)
Secondly. You need to take a good long hard look at yourself in the mirror, preferably back lit with red curtains and with neon lights as it gives a rose tented view of life on the other side glass. If you find this bit to hard, don’t fret me ole china, just go and ask your neighbour or taxi driver for a second opinion. ( just so as you know you are not mad.)
Thirdly, Have a tea break. ( most people when they are starting out feel it is beneficial if they have a 3 or 4 month tea break just to take away from the stress of things and restore the work life balance)
Fourthly, fourthly…..am. I am not sure myself as I am still on my tea break, but I am sure that there are some gurus here that can point you to number 4. Please do share you progress with others.
Remember, to share is to care and we like that here. In fact We Like It A lot!.

Hope this helps, K.
P.s your wax idea sucks! Bogie bungees are all the rage but you may have just missed that boat.

 

[GeorgeStrait]

OK, the one thing that everyone has missed totally (and this is why I'm a consultant), is the one most important factor of any new business, no matter what sector you in. This is the one thing that HAS to be done before you can get on with printing your business cards, meeting clients, advertising etc. And I'm going to give it you lot free of charge. The very, very first thing who have to do - and this has been asked often here - is decide your job title, are you ceo (the generally preferred choice), md, partner, director or proprietor?

When you have answered that the rest is just routine.