Help with Introductory Letter Please

[amanda1112]

Would someone advise me on the content of my proposed business letter please. Its just a draft at the moment but as there are a lot of companies on this forum and I guess most will have done something similar yourselves. Am I missing anything?

All help gratefully received.

Thank you​

Letterhead

“Keeping your house a home!”​

Dear

We write to you to introduce ourselves and our Company. My name is xxxxxxx and you may remember me from xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

After careful consideration I have decided to pursue my venture as a Managing Agent and have formed a company in Partnership (but not affiliated with) xxxxxxxx. Our offices are based as follows:

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Xxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxx

We would like to offer our Services as Managing Agents to Landlords with an introductory commission rate of 10% on all properties managed. This fee is based on a Fully Managed Package. We also offer a Tenant find only service should you wish to manage your properties yourself. In addition to our Property Management Services, my business partner xxxxxxxxxxxxx Locksmiths is offering a compatible discount to our clients for his products and services.

Our history and experience in this area. I have 15 years of combined experience working in Property Management and have gained extensive knowledge in this area. I have dealt with Landlords and Tenants on all levels and have had dealings in virtually all aspects of Property Management from conducting viewings, compiling inventories, liaising with landlords and client feedback, regular inspections and final check out procedures to resolving tenant disputes and dealing with contractors. My business partner xxxxxxxxx has many years of experience with Landlords, their properties and Tenants. His joint services will be a great compliment to the company.

Furthermore, we have access to a team of Solicitors who specialise in all areas of Property Law to advise and guide us should we feel the need. Most issues will be dealt with in house in relation to difficult tenants but we have the added assurance of having access to Solicitors who specialise in all aspects of Property Law to safeguard your interests.

Finally, and in addition to the above we have a team of local contractors to hand to carry out repairs in all aspects of property maintenance, including Corgi Registered Gas Engineers, Registered Plumbers, Electricians, Alarm Specialists, Specialist Roofing Companies, Builders, Cleaning Services and a General Maintenance Team for minor repairs.

To conclude, we feel confident that with our knowledge and combined experience we as a team can offer our clients a professional and dedicated service.

Should you wish to discuss any of the above and feel that our services may be of interest to you feel free to contact us and we will be happy to arrange an informal meeting to discuss your needs.

In the meantime why not browse our website at xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

We very much look forward to hearing from you with a view to building a professional relationship with you and keeping your interests at heart.

Yours sincerely



Any comments please on improvement or content of letter.
Thanks

 

[amanda1112]

I forgot to mention that this is my first attempt so please go easy on me with your comments.

 

[vvaannmmaann]

You use the word ' Finally' ,then add four sentences.And the line starting 'To conclude' ,make that your last line?
It may also need editing.I would not read it if it came to my office.Too long.
Stick to the main points of what you want to say.
Good luck with your business.

 

[amanda1112]

Thank you for your comments much appreciated. I did wonder about the structure and it is probably a bit of an essay. I shall have to reorganise and compress the info. Its difficult to get your whole point across in a letter with only a couple of paragraphs though.

 

[Tej]

I would really keep it short.. try and make an appointment to see them face to face.. and then do the sales pitch!

Works better IMO

 

[amanda1112]

I guess I could say I would follow up with a call instead of leaving people to come back to me.

 

[Tej]

TBH.. if it was me.. I would not even bother with a letter. As you have the names of the people.. call them.. and introduce yourself... " remember me" etc.. make an appointment.. and go and see them. Easier to do business that way.. Use your charm!

 

[fisicx]

Didn't get past the second paragraph. As soon as you started to talk about yourself I lost interest.

Keep it very simple and list the benefits for the recipient of moving from their current service provder to you.

Remember as well that landlords get these sort of letters almost every day. 99% of them don't even get opened so it's probalby going to be much more profitable to call them up.

 

[amanda1112]

Thanks everyone I obviously have my work cut out with this and need to have a rethink!

Any more comments or advice please? Don't think I'm doing very well so far

 

[office man]

it needs to be shorter, can you add a website that gives mroe information and more details should they want to find out more????

Letters that long have to be really good to keep the readers attention.

 

[amanda1112]

it needs to be shorter, can you add a website that gives mroe information and more details should they want to find out more????

Letters that long have to be really good to keep the readers attention.

I have included details of the website at bottom of the letter. Don't think anyone's getting that far so point taken about too much content