Difficult Customer - any ideas

[Ballito Bay]

We have a gallery within a coffee bar themed shop/showroom. We opened on a shoestring and have survived despite even our landlord doubting our survival potential. We work really hard and have even built a healthy online following with social media.

We serve Coffee/Tea/Chocolate and biscuits and cakes as a secondary service to people who come in to buy glass pieces, glass jewellery, Art and other gallery items. We also have an online shop.

We are in a very mixed area in the Artists quarter of our city. Our local customers are either students at one of two local universities, young new and upcoming preofessionals, lawyers/clients popping on the way to court (High court a block and a half away and District court round the corner) and a small element of socially housed undesirables, mostly in the flats above the shops. There is a drug problem in the area but it has been cleaned up enormously and only a very small element remains.

Now for the big question. We have a woman that comes into our place EVERY DAY to buy a tea/coffee. She is obviously very lonely as she lives very locally and we've gotten to know about her over time. Sometimes she stays as long as two hours and has been known to stay in the shop for three.

The problem is she's loud, uses foul language and when we have other customers in the shop tends to dampen their experience. I have asked her to quieten down before but she doesnt seem to get it.

Whenever she walks through the door, I tense up. I'm afraid we may be losing repeat customers because of how she behaves when she's in the shop. I know its a cultural thing, but I need to discourage her as much as possible from coming in, especially during busy times.

We have a good relationship with the locals (we are loved because my partner challenges the police for parking illegally to do personal business, and the police are unloved locally both by locals and business for all sorts of different reasons)

Any idea as to how to deal with this. I am worried we may come in one day to find our windows smashed, because she was offended by being told to behave once and for all. She is a local so its not as if she'll just go away.

 

[roydmoorian]

Difficult one this - she will die one day, (most people do eventually) but in the meantime maybe your tea / coffee is cheaper than nearby cafes - keep on putting the price up until she starts going somewhere else .

 

[Lee Jones Jnr]

Is there some reason why you can't just tell her not to come in anymore?

 

[chalkie99]

We serve Coffee/Tea/Chocolate and biscuits and cakes as a secondary service to people who come in to buy glass pieces

Change your business model so that you no longer sell refreshments but supply them free as a gift to your paying customers. Put a few signs up - "Free Tea/Coffee with every purchase over £5 - Free Tea/Coffee and cakes with purchases over £10"

Explain to her nicely that you have found the refreshment sales not worthwhile, maybe even spin a bit of a yarn about not being able to sell them anymore (licensing or something).

It might even boost your gallery sales.

 

[andygambles]

Give her a verbal warnin if she is loud or abusive again and tell jere the next time will result in a ban. If she continues implement a week long ban.

Things like this mean you should also perhaps have a healthy relationship with police rather than confrontational.

 

[Ballito Bay]

Thanks folks, trust me we've covered all angles.

We find that the drinks entice people in and then once in the shop they buy other things. Howerever that said we make a margin on the drinks and if they dont buy from the main shop, we still have made something.

We are more expensive, we sell quality drinks and cake in a very calm ambient atmosphere - its nothing like starbucks or costa, and we've had great recommendations.

Just telling her to go away is a problem of the peculiarities of the neighbourhood. She has a mental health problem, she's local and the shutters are on the inside of the windows not the outside, I just cant bear the idea of smashed windows. (people across the road offended a local and it happened to them, so Im not imagining the risks).

It has occurred to me that she is on ill health benefits and telling her that the DWP are spying on the shop might discourage her........

 

[Ballito Bay]

Give her a verbal warnin if she is loud or abusive again and tell jere the next time will result in a ban. If she continues implement a week long ban.

Things like this mean you should also perhaps have a healthy relationship with police rather than confrontational.

Actually our relationship with the police has forced them to engage with the local businesses and it made things a lot better. Before they wouldnt come into the shop, now that they know us, they are regular customers! Go figure!

 

[Deleted member 3454]

It has occurred to me that she is on ill health benefits and telling her that the DWP are spying on the shop might discourage her........

Or freak her out, causing more tropuble than it solves?

 

[Chris Ashdown]

Don't beet around the bush, tell her that her behaviour is unacceptable and therefore she is banned, if there is any problem just call the police or another option is to contact a security company and hire a guard for a week, i doubt anything will happen

If she is under mental health find out where she is living and tell her supervisor the police may help here

 

[Ballito Bay]

Or freak her out, causing more tropuble than it solves?

You havent gotten to know me yet, thats my sense of humour.... said in jest, I would never put a mentally ill person at risk, thats why this thread exists, im trying to find a tactful way of dealing with this. Sorry if you thought I was being insensitive.

 

[BustersDogs]

It has occurred to me that she is on ill health benefits and telling her that the DWP are spying on the shop might discourage her........

Why would that put her off? If she's on benefits is she not allowed to spend time having a coffee? If she's loitering over one cuppa then could you have a kind of 'no loitering' policy?

 

[Ballito Bay]

Why would that put her off? If she's on benefits is she not allowed to spend time having a coffee? If she's loitering over one cuppa then could you have a kind of 'no loitering' policy?

She is supposed to be agoraphobic, not able to leave her flat....and apparently has serious respiratory problems, but has been roller skating up and down the street for the last two weeks.

 

[roydmoorian]

apparently has serious respiratory problems,

Start burning incense sticks near her table

 

[GeorgeStrait]

Serve her really sub standard drinks, I mean really rubbish. Stop being polite - no matter how hard that comes. She will then hopefully move on.

We had a similar problems with a few care in the community people (care in the community round here seems to mean let them roam free and unchallenged), to start with we were friendly towards them - as you are, but they did start to intimidate paying customers so we had to start being not rude, but dismissive, they did move on.

 

[Ballito Bay]

Serve her really sub standard drinks, I mean really rubbish. Stop being polite - no matter how hard that comes. She will then hopefully move on.

We had a similar problems with a few care in the community people (care in the community round here seems to mean let them roam free and unchallenged), to start with we were friendly towards them - as you are, but they did start to intimidate paying customers so we had to start being not rude, but dismissive, they did move on.

Thanks George

we also have care in the community folk upstairs, theyre not a problem, but this particular woman......

 

[british steve]

Serve her really sub standard drinks, I mean really rubbish. Stop being polite - no matter how hard that comes. She will then hopefully move on.

We had a similar problems with a few care in the community people (care in the community round here seems to mean let them roam free and unchallenged), to start with we were friendly towards them - as you are, but they did start to intimidate paying customers so we had to start being not rude, but dismissive, they did move on.

You're all heart!

Why don't we just lock all these "Care in the Community" types up and throw away the keys? I am Curious to know what you think society should do with unfortunate people who probably need all the help and compassion they can get!

Nothing like kicking these people while there down eh?

I hope you don't consider a career change and become a social worker!

 

[GeorgeStrait]

You’re all heart!

Why don’t we just lock all these “Care in the Community” types up and throw away the keys? I am Curious to know what you think society should do with unfortunate people who probably need all the help and compassion they can get!

Nothing like kicking these people while there down eh?

I hope you don’t consider a career change and become a social worker!

Sorry Steve, but my customer base consists of a lot of children, and when you have people in the shop shouting, being abusive and worse what are my options, have them scare those children senseless and loose my customers and my lively-hood or be politically correct?

I'll add that we don't discourage all these people (yea, pick up on that but I can't think of another way of putting it off hand!!) just those that shouldn't be allowed out un-supervised.

 

[Ballito Bay]

You’re all heart!

Why don’t we just lock all these “Care in the Community” types up and throw away the keys? I am Curious to know what you think society should do with unfortunate people who probably need all the help and compassion they can get!

Nothing like kicking these people while there down eh?

I hope you don’t consider a career change and become a social worker!

Steve, Care in the community people should be "cared" for that includes supervision. I have a profoundly mentally disabled stepson, he will never be able to work and can be difficult to handle in public, but we care for him, and ensure he does not create a problem when we go into shops, or are out. He gets the best of not being institutionalised and cared for and by his family. A lot of these people do not rationalise on the same level as the average person in the street and it is not the shopkeepers responsibility toward his overall customer base not toward caring for people that are not being properly supervised, thats what our taxes supposedly pay for.

My stepson comes into our shop on weekends and we provide him with the care that he needs so that he does not cause a problem either to our business or our customers, yet his needs are met and he really enjoys himself.

I also have two autistic daughters - the reason we are self employed is because of the difficulties in caring for multiple disabled children, so we have an understanding of compassion and care. We also understand the concept of responsibility and if "care in the community" people are not being cared for appropriately then it is not the shopkeepers responsibility to do so, particularly by sacrificing trade. I dont expect it from other businesses. Special adjustments under the DDA and the Equalities act are very different issues and mechanisms and do not cover disruptive behaviour.

 

[GeorgeStrait]

Steve, Care in the community people should be "cared" for that includes supervision. I have a profoundly mentally disabled stepson, he will never be able to work and can be difficult to handle in public, but we care for him, and ensure he does not create a problem when we go into shops, or are out. He gets the best of not being institutionalised and cared for and by his family. A lot of these people do not rationalise on the same level as the average person in the street and it is not the shopkeepers responsibility toward his overall customer base not toward caring for people that are not being properly supervised, thats what our taxes supposedly pay for.

My stepson comes into our shop on weekends and we provide him with the care that he needs so that he does not cause a problem either to our business or our customers, yet his needs are met and he really enjoys himself.

I also have two autistic daughters - the reason we are self employed is because of the difficulties in caring for multiple disabled children, so we have an understanding of compassion and care. We also understand the concept of responsibility and if "care in the community" people are not being cared for appropriately then it is not the shopkeepers responsibility to do so, particularly by sacrificing trade. I dont expect it from other businesses. Special adjustments under the DDA and the Equalities act are very different issues and mechanisms and do not cover disruptive behaviour.

Thanks Ballito, that sums it up nicely. All the best to you and yours

 

[Doodle-Noodle]

Oh dear, I feel for you ...... we had a similar problem with someone who came in every day, often for 6 or 7 hours at a time (I'm not kidding!) she'd only leave to collect her daughter from school and then come back again until we closed. I felt really sorry for her, she wasn't old, she was disabled (though able to walk etc and I did often wonder how genuine her condition was), a single parent and very, very lonely.
Initially I was happy to chat to her, got to know her, welcomed her even, but as her visits became long and she became more comfortable being here, she started approaching customers as though we was a member of staff which I didn't like. Her personal hygeine was awful ..... she did smell really bad, so did her very overweight 11 year old daughter who also had a permanently blocked nose and used to sniff all the time drip snotty trails everywhere).
I used to try and drop subtle hints at how coming in so frequently really wasn't good for either her or the daughter but she just used to say she liked coming in and it was handy because the chip shop is just down the road.
This went on for well over a year and I really tried to be nice about things, but in the end all got completely out of hand. Hints were not working, she simply didn't get anything unless you literally spelled it out and made it absolutely clear. I had to actually tell her that she was not to come in every day, and when she did come in she had to remember she was a customer, not a member of staff or a personal friend. She was not to come into the shop with her daughter and visits would have to be limited to just 10 minutes. No making cups of tea or bringing chips in ........ it was awful.
She cried and screamed and said the shop was her life and that I was taking her life away from her, she then proceeded to wave her stick around in a very dangerous manner, shouted and swore at everyone before storming out screaming in protest at how shabbily disabled people are treated here.
She hasn't been back .........yet!

 

[GeorgeStrait]

Thanks Doodles, I think it's something we all go through as shopkeepers, and let's face it when your newly opened you welcome all. Trouble is we all then get condemned by the PC brigade when we have to take firmer action to preserve our income. But at the end of the day we are businesses, not social workers, and need to make a profit by welcoming customers into a safe and friendly environment.

 

[Lee Jones Jnr]

Still not seeing the difficulty. Do you guys all really find it THAT difficult to tell an unwanted customer to leave?

 

[GeorgeStrait]

Still not seeing the difficulty. Do you guys all really find it THAT difficult to tell an unwanted customer to leave?

It's not so easy with the "less able" as, has been said before, they don't rationalise like we do - hence it needs a different tact, which I think I have now perfected and hopefully doesn't cause offence.

 

[internetspaceships]

It's your business here. I'd suggest that you step up and ask her forcefully not to behave the way she is doing or you'll be forced to ask her to stop coming in.

You might have consequences from this if she's a raving nutter but you're already suffering the consequences of her being there.

Deal with it mate, you're in charge here. Just because she has "mental issues" she doesn't have the right to mess up your business. In fact she doesn't have any more rights than anyone else.

 

[Pap_sak]

I have also had this in the past and have banned a person for a couple of months, even though this guy would spend money quite regularly. Small hints never worked - I had to be very direct even though this did not go down very well at the time. He is not a bad guy and is a friend (we play tennis and go fishing together), but once a person becomes too familiar in a shop - they do start thinking of themselves as staff (I guess it is natural)...best nip it in the bud early with some direct words - do not drop hints, they probably will be ignored.

The one tact that worked quite well. I (as the boss) cannot spend too much time with you because it sends a bad message to staff that their friends can hang out here.

 

[KJL126]

Whilst I agree the situation is awkward, but just needs facing up to.

I'd have thought that the 'confrontational' stance taken with the local police would have helped hone your skills with a difficult customer.:|

 

[MH1]

Used to get similar on markets years ago, simply ask them are they buying, if not move on and let the customers get to you, nothing personal but s+d off.

 

[Merchant UK]

It's your business here. I'd suggest that you step up and ask her forcefully not to behave the way she is doing or you'll be forced to ask her to stop coming in.

You might have consequences from this if she's a raving nutter but you're already suffering the consequences of her being there.

Deal with it mate, you're in charge here. Just because she has "mental issues" she doesn't have the right to mess up your business. In fact she doesn't have any more rights than anyone else.

I wouldn't even pussyfoot around, I'd ban her right away and if she still continues call the Police and have her officially banned from the area.

She's been doing this because she's been allowed to get away with it for so long, You need to look at what other stores do, she would carry on like that in Tesco's or Asda.

If your still concerned about her mental health then your in the wrong business, your Regualr customers come first and they don't deserve this idiot making a mockery of your business.

You Could invite the local plod or PCSO in for a coffee more often and then she may not go in if she sees them there

Good Luck

 

[joecranejoe]

This has to be the most unnecessary debate...

I can understand people's points within the conversation, but for those saying that you can't ask her to leave because of mental issues etc are just wrong?

As a few people have said just ask her to leave politely, and if that doesn't work call the police (regardless of your relationship with them - remember you pay their wages!)

If one customer ruins the experience of another that could spread around the neighbourhood and put of your potential clients.

 

[joshgoldstein]

Just explain to her that since she's one of your best customers, you'd love to treat her to a personal shopping experience.

Arrange an evening where either you or one of your employees stays behind, and then invite her to come down for tea, cakes and whatever. Don't sell her anything- just make sure that she gets a really really really really good service. Invest into her.

That way, you'll keep her away from your other customers whilst giving her a sense of importance that she probably craves.

Also, you'll find problem customers are not problems because of you. They have issues elsewhere in their lives, and just take it out on you. Everyone does it. I did it today. So don't take it personally, just make sure that you get her away from your customers by saying how good of a customer she is and how you'd love to be able to give her a personal shopping experience.

We have a gallery within a coffee bar themed shop/showroom. We opened on a shoestring and have survived despite even our landlord doubting our survival potential. We work really hard and have even built a healthy online following with social media.

We serve Coffee/Tea/Chocolate and biscuits and cakes as a secondary service to people who come in to buy glass pieces, glass jewellery, Art and other gallery items. We also have an online shop.

We are in a very mixed area in the Artists quarter of our city. Our local customers are either students at one of two local universities, young new and upcoming preofessionals, lawyers/clients popping on the way to court (High court a block and a half away and District court round the corner) and a small element of socially housed undesirables, mostly in the flats above the shops. There is a drug problem in the area but it has been cleaned up enormously and only a very small element remains.

Now for the big question. We have a woman that comes into our place EVERY DAY to buy a tea/coffee. She is obviously very lonely as she lives very locally and we've gotten to know about her over time. Sometimes she stays as long as two hours and has been known to stay in the shop for three.

The problem is she's loud, uses foul language and when we have other customers in the shop tends to dampen their experience. I have asked her to quieten down before but she doesnt seem to get it.

Whenever she walks through the door, I tense up. I'm afraid we may be losing repeat customers because of how she behaves when she's in the shop. I know its a cultural thing, but I need to discourage her as much as possible from coming in, especially during busy times.

We have a good relationship with the locals (we are loved because my partner challenges the police for parking illegally to do personal business, and the police are unloved locally both by locals and business for all sorts of different reasons)

Any idea as to how to deal with this. I am worried we may come in one day to find our windows smashed, because she was offended by being told to behave once and for all. She is a local so its not as if she'll just go away.