Business Networking - Getting Over the Fear

[HarveyIT]

No I didn't take that as rude, unless of course you intended it to be?

Points taken. That's why I pursue other avenues for generating sales. The best being doing a good job for customers which, in turn, creates word of mouth interest which is far more valuable to me.

lol I'm never rude me, unless I absolutely have to be (which doesn't happen often). I suppose business networking (i.e. breakfast meetings etc) are a bit like opening boxes on Deal or No Deal, in that you choose random boxes and you don't know what the contents are, until you open the box. So you don't know how sucessful your going to be or not. It's a game of complete chance.

 

[lisa-giselle]

The Yorkshire Enterprise Network has 3 upcoming networking events:

Social Media boot camp - Bradford 28th June
Raw food and natural healing conference - York 29th June
Drinks with YEN at Metis Law - Leeds 19th July

 

[JamesTakhar]

Look around you ...

What is your environment ?

Think about the people you hang around, the things you watch and what you talk about. Its all relative mate. Fear is simply a thought in the mind. It doesn't exist in the real world. I came over fear by simply stop talking to negative people and talking to positive and people who take action.

Business Networking I think is growing in two ways which arent really taught. That is marketing & Leverage. Think about it.

If you feel scared or get worried easily, just give value. Don't sell, give complete value and the next logical thing is a sale.


All the best mate

 

[HazelLCottrell]

Have a look at who is attending before the event and then chat to them on Twitter and other social media sites. Also see what sort of skills / hobbies the people in the room have so you know who you can start a conversation with.

Networking is fun Try an informal one first, like a coffee morning or drinks in the evening and then why you go to a more formal one your confidence will have improved and you may know some people there already

 

[sebsuma]

if you want to appear knowledgeable then make sure you know what your talking about, this will lead to confidence which will lead to successful networking.

 

[alice_p]

networking can be so nerve-wrecking but so worth it, we've won a lot of clients that way. ultimately it's still about personality and about building relationships and that's best done through networking. even if it's not direct, you meet many people from your own industry and can win clients through referrals.

 

[Alex@Amplio]

Some great advice already, 2 bits of advice to add that have served me well:

1) When you meet someone the first thought in your head should be "how can I help this person?"

2) Just before you leave someone ask them "Could you tell me what type of people you are looking to meet? If I meet any I'll be sure to introduce you to them"

As people have already said, you rarely sell products / services at networking events. But you are selling yourself, which basically translates to being likeable. It's pretty difficult not to like someone that does the 2 things above.

 

[lisa-giselle]

Check out YENblog(.)co(.)uk for some great networking tips

 

[MyEventBucket]

I actually run a lot of networking events in London for different industries including music, fashion and start-up:

My advice is to have an alcoholic beverage upon entry but leave it at that. Don't overdo it as it will blunt your experience. Networking is like an social event where the more you do it and force yourself into that situation, the better you will communicate and most importantly - work out ways you can maximise your experience. The real trick is to create rules like 'I must speak to at least 50 people and I must give out so many business cards...'

 

[tacticalsales]

Hi Liam,

Firstly enjoy yourself! These are like minded people who want to share war stories that include both the good and the bad. If you become a great listener people will want to meet up again and again.

Secondly, try to forget about your business cards. If you go into an event with the sole intention of keeping a tally of how many cards you get rid of you'll make yourself unapproachable.

We host seminars and networking events monthly so we've seen our fair share of characters. The one's that do the best and the ones most would consider "introverts" AKA good listeners. They have no pre-fixed agenda and they certainly don't sell.

Just keep it light hearted and keep it fun. If it's a morning away from the office to mix and mingle with people that want to talk about the same thing then great!

 

[WJP]

Just seen this, but coincidentally I wrote a blog post on networking a couple of days ago. Click here if anyone fancies a read!

 

[FlowOnline]

Nice blog post WJP.

I think it's definitely about striking up casual, friendly conversation first rather than going into full-blown professional mode. First impressions count for a lot and if you're willing to stand and have a friendly chat, the person is more likely to want to hear you out with the business talk.

If you're not the most confident conversation starter, the good old fashioned small talk about the weather is what us Brits do best.

 

[Jennie@FreeAgent]

Firstly, don't worry about your age

Next, don't worry about nerves - that is normal

Most of all - don't sell!

'Hi, I'm Liam I do XYZ - tell me about your business'

Get the cards and follow up.

If the event requires a one minute pitch think it through and keep it simple - resist the temptation (I learned the hard way) to list everything you do just say one thing well.

This is great advice. I started going to networking events in my last year of university so I could start mingling within the industry I was aiming to move into. I would usually dread going along to events (due to being nervous and not knowing anyone) but after every event I went to I would always feel so happy and positive. There are always people in the same position as you but you just have to remember to be yourself.

Don't get carried away 'talking business', chat about anything and you'll easily find things you have in common with people and that way they'll remember you. I still sometimes get a bit nervous going by myself to networking events but when I get there I know that everyone is there for the same reason; to talk and meet people.

It's also not a bad idea to take a minute to survey the room when you walk in and maybe approach some people who are talking about something in your comfort zone or even that seem very open and friendly.

 

[peggyprice]

Talking of business cards ... One of the best bits of networking advice I was ever given was 'Don't worry about how many business cards you give away, concentrate on collecting as many as you can from other people.' The point being that you are then in control of what happens after the event - you can follow up that contact with a quick 'nice to meet you' email or even a 'you said you'd like to hear more about my product' phone call, rather than waiting for them to get in touch with you.

Also, make a point of adding notes on to the cards you collect - you might come away from an event with forty or fifty cards sometimes and you'll never remember who they all are!

And by the same token, when you're handing out your cards, take a moment to write something (relevant) on them, so that the other person remembers the conversation you were having just before you gave him/her your details. Then when you do follow up you'll already be closer to the front of their memory than 90% of the other people in the room.

 

[White Man Van]

Try some other non business networking. I recently joined a local jogging club that gets together on a sat morning and weds evening. I've been 5 sat mornings now, and I can t believe the contacts I've made as I stagger and gasp around the local park. Quite astonishing.

Less effective has been the local tennis club, but that's my fault. Tennis players are more homogenous socially, whereas joggers cut across all types. And there seems to be something about all going through pain together that breaks down barriers and brings us all together.

Good luck, I never class myself as shy, and am quite happy as a general rule to chat to anyone, but there are still times when I feel like a spare part, and struggle to approach anyone.

 

[Jennie@FreeAgent]

Try some other non business networking. I recently joined a local jogging club that gets together on a sat morning and weds evening. I've been 5 sat mornings now, and I can t believe the contacts I've made as I stagger and gasp around the local park. Quite astonishing.

Less effective has been the local tennis club, but that's my fault. Tennis players are more homogenous socially, whereas joggers cut across all types. And there seems to be something about all going through pain together that breaks down barriers and brings us all together.

Good luck, I never class myself as shy, and am quite happy as a general rule to chat to anyone, but there are still times when I feel like a spare part, and struggle to approach anyone.

That is great advice. 'Accidental' networking is when it's most natural and easier to make stronger or more genuine connections.

 

[MatthewRJones]

I'm 19 started off networking at informal events then went to more structured meetings to get over the fear.

 

[warren cass]

It can be daunting walking into a room full of strangers but the more you do it the less intimidating it gets.

A couple of quick tips, and then an offer to you all ;-)

• Get there early - People come to you then!
• Seek out the people stood on their own - Chances are they feel like you do and will thank you for it.
• Be interested, not interesting. The quickest way to build rapport is to ask questions and show genuine interest.
• Become a 'small talk' master. People trust the messenger before the message. Talk on a social level and people get a better sense of your values.
• Look for open body language. Every room has open and closed groups.... learn to spot the open groups and it becomes far less intimidating.

And the offer....

If you would like to visit one of my groups as my guest (First time visitors) then drop me a PM. Details can be found here http://www.business-scene.com/events_landing/business_scene_events

 

[Jennie@FreeAgent]

Some good points here from Warren. I particularly like the 'be interested, not interesting' point. It is so important to ask people questions to find out about them, just make sure you're asking because you're genuinely interested. And listen!! But I think you should also try and be interesting as that way people will remember you.

 

[OakMarkLondon]

Just be yourself, be genuinely interested in others - its kind of like going for a first date

 

[Max @ Washbox]

We are in a similar situation at the moment. We are all 23 in our company and have been having multiple meeting and networking events and were all nervous during the first few. Now we just relax and do exactly what the others are saying. Explain the business simply and allow for people to ask questions and get a conversation going. Getting cards and following up is really important as it lets people know that you valued their thoughts and input.
Good luck with it all.

 

[willhunting]

Just dive in. The sooner you do it the better you will become. Those that are confident that you speak to will most likely lead with questions, then it's easy from there.
Best thing is to be polite and genuinely interested in what other people are doing.

 

[AnnaDMC]

Don't be nervous, just be yourself. I always think the worst someone can say is no - And that's not necessarily a bad thing. Approach people, but be sincere and take an interest in what they're doing too. LinkedIn is a great place to network with like-minded people, along with forums like this. Everyone is human, no one is super human, so treat them like anyone else.

 

[titan.kronus]

I didn't feel nerves or fear at the first event I attended. I was ridiculously excited! I think there was something exhilarating about mixing with and being around other people with a similar passion!

 

[yellowlawn]

I always use the old idea when public speaking. Always imagine them naked! lol

 

[Eddie Wilson]

One of the best tricks I've used when doing public speaking is to look right above the eyes of the people. I look at their foreheads, or sometimes below (noses or mustaches). If you are nervous, not looking people in the eyes is a sure fire way to tip them off you're nervous, and might affect their thoughts. Looking them in the eye might make you forget what you were about to say (happened to me once or twice, well that was awkward).

Public speaking is a personal thing, some people love it (I've learned to love it!) and some people absolutely hate it. Just try some simple tips and tricks, plenty of good ones mentioned here, and everything should go smooth as ever.

 

[beijinger19]

It might be useful to watch Seven Samurai by Akira Kurosawa. There is a great phrase: "They are afraid too". It could be applied to all areas of business I think.

 

[AmarDigital]

This might sound really cliché but this is one of those times where I think "be yourself" fits. I've been to all sorts of meetups, media events, conferences and masterminds and one of the pieces of feedback I normally get is that "I'm real".

Yes you are networking to sell yourself/your company but it's far easier to just be a likeable person and let the business talk flow naturally. It's actually one of my pet hates when the first thing out of someone's mouth is "what do you do?" - Like they are trying to size you up and place you in their mental pecking order. I always find talking about your last holiday or the snacks is a good ice breaker!

 

[Randall1022]

Be yourself. Be diligent at it. The more you do it the easier it gets. The age does not matter. If you are knowledgable about what you are doing, you should have no problems.

 

[Andrew Beardlsey]

Morning breakfasts are a great way to get business for yourself. bear in mind everyonme is ther for thsame reason i.e. to give and get referals.Thjer is abslultely nothing to be nervous abourt because any good newtowrker knows he mas more chance of getting referals the more peopl in the group. waht yo will find is the first meeting is the harderst, simply because you have not been before. But you will befriend people and get into conversations. It worked great fro me many years ago and it should work for you too if you go regularly.

 

[SimasP]

Well, I can perfectly understand you. I am in the exactly same situation being 22 and trying to establish a business. I have seen one trick in a shitty movie (don't remember the title but it's with Jeniffer Lopez I think) - that guy was a politician and he was also very nervous while speaking in public. What he did? He hid the paper clip in the palm of his hand before every speech and he focused all his negative emotions to this clip. That trick actually helped me to speak in public. Give it a try, it may work in business networking too.

Now I have troubles wit my primary market research as I need interview Londoners and that really scares me. I tried to stop them (ant that was hard for me, believe me)in the tube, streets etc - everybody is running and doesn't give a shit. Now I am just too nervous to carry out the interview in the streets so I am asking people to fill online survey.

Everybody who is willing to help and is able to spend 5 minutes of their time please fill the survey. You can find it here:

www(.surveymonkey.com)/s/weekendtrip
Just delete the brackets.

I know your time is invaluable and I can't say how thankful I'd be if you completed it.

 

[James@6rfTV]

This forum thread is very useful. As someone who is starting out in the networking scene this is very useful.

As the OP, I am young and the business has a small establishment, generally me freelancing out my services as a camera operator.

I am looking to branch out an offer services to Companies. I have a load of business cards and hopefully this will be the start of a fruitful process. I'm not expecting quick results as it does take time.

I'll report back and let you know how I progress.

Cheers

James
6rfTV.co.uk

 

[Deleted member 106442]

Just looking into networking events in my local area, and I was nervous about it.
This thread has set my mind at ease, some great insights - thanks to all who contributed to it, and the original poster for asking!

 

[Explainaboom Videos]

Keith Ferrazi - Never Eat Alone is a fantastic book which gives advice on how to be a great networker.

If you dont have time to read the book - the summary for it can be found online. But a key point really stuck with me, that helped change my mindset with networking. That real networking is about finding ways to make other people successful - thinking like this really takes the pressure off you when networking. You start focusing more on the person you're talking to, peppering them with questions, as you try and find ways to help them!

 

[Richard White]

Hi Liam

If you are worried about people taking you seriously at a young age the watch the movie 'Catch me if you can' which is about a 17 year old who poses as an airline pilot and is taken seriously because of his confidence and looking like he belongs

You are going to learn pretty quickly that your prospective clients dont care about you - they only care about themselves and solving their problems. Give them confidence you can do that and they will be telling all their friends and contacts about this enterprising young lad.....

I mentored a young guy aged 19 who was running a business whilst going to Uni. He milked it and his clients loved the fact that he was so young. I got him to join the networking group I belonged to and people where bending over backwards to help him.

In terms of overcoming the fear - I learned that if you get the other people talking by taking an interest in them you dont have to say much and they will like you more - some will even call you a great conversationalist! Let them ask you about your business and if they don't then just move on quickly and someone else will. Just be ready with a clear and simple response.

 

[Deleted member 244558]

Liam, I suggest reading a book called the Jelly Effect by Andy Bounds, it is full of simple but effective tips for networking, In a previous job I used to network 3-4 times a week this book was really helpful. My tip is to be yourself and don't even think about pitching at first meet, remember people by from people. I dislike the kind of people that run around the room in a hurry handing out cards and then get their PA to call you 3 days later... Bad bad networking.

 

[unbreakable]

Treat it like your first day at pre-school.

go up to someone, tell them your name, ask them theirs and would they like to play?

Hi, I'm bob. What does your company do?
Hello, I'm jane. Whats your company called?

Don't go on the offensive, just be nice, interested and polite. See what happens... and stay away from my lego fire station.

 

[sezar]

I also was nervous when I first started networking. What I found is that you need to be relaxed for people to enjoy talking to you. That would make your experience enjoyable and encourage you to go to more events.
My approach is to manage my expectations. I don't go to networking events to meet customers, investors..you name it. I just go there to learn what people are working on. People love to share the challenges they are facing, so just ask them and also prepare a 2mn pitch for yourself.
Anyone who do not take you seriously because of your age is a fool. Zuckerberg started facebook while at university, probably around 20-22.

 

[AddPeople]

Liam, most importantly just be yourself. IF people don't take you seriously because of your age (which they won't) then they aren't the sort of people you want to work with.

Secondly, be confident, smile and don't be afraid to go over and join a discussion. Once you get the first conversation out of the way, you'll be fine!

 

[Kasim21]

You won't be the only person who is nervous and feeling out of their comfort zone. My advice would be to find someone else who is standing on their own and looking a bit nervous. Talking to them will hopefully help to calm your nerves.