Weirdest Request Client Has Made!

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Ashley_Price

Ashley_Price

Free Member
Business Listing
Feb 9, 2008
7,096
1,315
Lewes, Sussex
www.theaudiotypingservice.co.uk
  • #1
    Okay, everyone, what's the weirdest request you've had from a current or prospective client?

    After 11 years, I think mine came today. Got a call from a chap who wants us to transcribe a recording of a budgie speaking. Yep, that's right - a budgie! (You can see more about the bird in question here)

    Well, I suppose we always said "You record it, we'll transcribe it!".
     
    E

    Eleanor

    Free Member
    Mar 3, 2008
    390
    48
    Nottingham, UK
  • #6
    Woman: You know you make corsets, right?
    Me: Yes, I dare say I do...
    Woman: Well, can you make one with nipple holes, like those bras in Ann Summers...?
    Me: *blink* erm *choke* well *stutter* I can recommend someone who might...

    You don't want to know how many shades of red I went! Which just reminds me of how much of a prude I am. :rolleyes:
     
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    A

    Aspect Investments

  • #8
    Here is one for you. A chap I used to know in Spain had a friend who was a madam. There were 2 really wierd clients. One wanted a hoover bag emptied over him, and another chap wanted to dress up as a baby, while she pushed a pram around the room, with a picture of Cliff Richard in it.

    Yeah Cliff Richard, how wierd is that. Brad Pitt maybe. :)
     
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    Jeff-Smith

    Jeff-Smith

    Free Member
    Apr 24, 2008
    202
    28
    West Midlands
  • #10
    I'm a pro speaker, trainer and author. One day I get a phone call from someone who says, "Hello, is that Jeff?"

    "yes" I said "How can I help you?"

    he said, "Can you send me page 119 of The KPI Book please?" (This was really wierd!)

    "I beg your pardon, I didn't quite hear that" I said questioningly

    He repeated, "Can you send me page 119 of The KPI Book please?"

    "Errr. we don't sell books by the individual page" I said rather bemused, "we only sell the whole book"

    He said expectantly, "I already have the book, I just need Page 119 because it's fallen out"

    "Ahh" I said with realisation, "that's never happened before, has the binding broken?"

    "Yes"

    "OK, I'll replace your book with a new one free of charge. Please send your old book to me so that we can assess the quality of the binding and make improvements".

    We sent a new book to our man and and it was 8 weeks before we received his old copy!

    Never in my whole life have I ever seen a book that was so badly abused, but the call stays in my mind as TRULY WEIRD!

    Thanks for the reminder :D:D:D
     
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    R

    rjharrison

    Free Member
    Jan 3, 2008
    153
    14
  • #11
    When I was running an SMS company I got a call from the Trinidad and Tobago Coastguard. They asked if we could supply them with GSM-based tracking devices to use against drug traffickers in the Caribbean.

    I thought it was a wind up, but (embarrassingly for me) it wasn't!
     
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    Z

    Zeno

    Free Member
    Jun 12, 2008
    4,514
    1,218
  • #12
    Not a request as such but one time after spending a long time explaining to a client the concept and purpose of depreciation, I thought I seen the glimmer of understanding in his eyes.

    A few days later I received, duly signed, his accounts, tax returns and a cheque for our fees in full. There was also another cheque made payable to my firm for an amount I did not recognise. When I phoned to enquire he said in a slightly puzzled voice "that's the depreciation".
     
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    Eleanor

    Free Member
    Mar 3, 2008
    390
    48
    Nottingham, UK
  • #13
    Zeno said:
    Not a request as such but one time after spending a long time explaining to a client the concept and purpose of depreciation, I thought I seen the glimmer of understanding in his eyes.

    A few days later I received, duly signed, his accounts, tax returns and a cheque for our fees in full. There was also another cheque made payable to my firm for an amount I did not recognise. When I phoned to enquire he said in a slightly puzzled voice "that's the depreciation".
    Click to expand...

    I am laughing so hard at this!

    Gotta love some people <3
     
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    Moneyman

    Moneyman

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    May 3, 2008
    2,731
    776
  • #14
    I had a wonderful lady from scotland who had this great idea for a chain of short stop hotels. Her friends all thought this was a fantastic idea but she hadn't had the time to look into the cost of building one, running it or anything else but had designed a logo. She offered me 25% of the company if I would do all the rest for her. I suggested that perhaps that was a little one sided and she accused me of being a greedy....:rolleyes:
     
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    P

    PayVector

  • #16
    Had one today.

    Client : "Can I get one of those merchant accounts for my business."

    Me : "What is it you do?"

    Client : "I run a full service adult escort agency"

    Me think that this could be fun decide to have a play with this would be pimp.

    Me : "Can you detail Sir how you charge and what amounts you charge for each service?

    Pimp gives detailed list of standard charges and extras which I shall not detail here :D.

    Me : "Can I take your contact details and home address and I will get things started."

    Pimp gives over all his details.

    Me : "I have just been informed by my supervisor that this type of business is illegal and we will not be able to offer you a service."

    Pimp :"But I just gave you all my details"

    Me : "Yes you did. Thank you very much. My supervisor has already forwarded them to our contacts within the Met that deal with this type of thing"

    Pimp upon realising he has just confessed on a recorded call to pimping realises it would not be wise to push further and hangs up.
     
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    Jenni384

    Jenni384

    Free Member
    • Oct 1, 2007
    4,851
    1,539
    Cheshire
  • #19
    Zeno said:
    Not a request as such but one time after spending a long time explaining to a client the concept and purpose of depreciation, I thought I seen the glimmer of understanding in his eyes.

    A few days later I received, duly signed, his accounts, tax returns and a cheque for our fees in full. There was also another cheque made payable to my firm for an amount I did not recognise. When I phoned to enquire he said in a slightly puzzled voice "that's the depreciation".
    Click to expand...

    Eleanor said:
    I am laughing so hard at this!

    Gotta love some people <3
    Click to expand...

    ROFL and me. Thank you, that was wonderful! :D
    ...bless him :)

    My weirdest request? Alas, I don't think I've been asked anything wierd in business. I've had some mighty odd PMs on social networking sites, but they're probably not repeatable :/
     
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    G

    ginantonic

  • #22
    I have a catering business, and one day last year I got a booking for a "do" for 100 people, it was outdoors, and in the summer. When their menu requests came through, I was a bit gobsmacked.
    They wanted 100 breadless sandwiches....yeah, puzzled me for a while :|....they were sandwiches with lettuce leaves instead of bread, same normal fillings, just wrapped in lettuce leaves.
    Got even stranger when they asked for 100 bowls of jelly...with no colouring in...(clear jelly????)
    Turns out it was for a society for people with food allergies....:rolleyes:
     
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    in2town

    Free Member
    Jun 12, 2008
    83
    6
  • #24
    I had someone come to me from another client who wanted me to get them onto tv showing a pair of shoes that felt like you were not wearing any shoes. I thought it was all a joke but they were deadly serious. They thought the shoes was the best thing since sliced bread and thought all tv stations would be interested. I told them the only way they would get the shoes on tv was to put them on top of there television in their house.
     
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    lockie

    lockie

    Free Member
    May 4, 2007
    1,357
    313
  • #25
    Got asked today to remove a padlock. He asked how much so quoted it to pick it open. The customer isnt happy with the price as says he only wants it cut off with an angle grinder.
    Why ring a locksmith if he only wants it cut off ? May as well buy an angle grinder for £25 and do it himself,weird.
     
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    M

    MH1

  • #28
    I was asked via a telephone call to help with a removal for a woman, who waited until we had driven 200 miles to inform me she had seperated from her violent husband.

    When we were approx an hour from the address she took it upon herself to ring him to check he was going to be out to avoid trouble, but he knew of her plans and had decided he was going to knife me as the perceived new fella in her life.

    Despite her mentioning I was simply a driver, not a lover, he had his mates around waiting for our arrival. She then mentioned she had married her pimp, who had beaten her senseless over the years, how they had been on the Trisha show etc.

    I popped into the local nick just around the corner from the address, and all the cops knew the guy very well since he spent many nights with them. I had four cops go with us to prevent any trouble kicking off, it didn't stop him trying to create a new parting on my head with an iron bar while the cops we having a cuppa, I only just avoided getting arrested for decking him.

    Unfortunately my client did get arrested when she cut their leather sofa in half with a meat cleaver, mighty entertaining at the time but a quite drive home on my own.

    Never was I so glad to always insist on payment up front on such jobs :D
     
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    Textlocal

    Textlocal

    Free Member
    Aug 28, 2005
    351
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    47
    Malvern, Worcs, UK
  • #34
    Our SMS text message service allows you to import mobile numbers and data from Excel.

    One customer phoned our support line because he had spent several hours trying to import his data, without much success.

    It turns out it was a very scappy handwritten page of numbers on some lined paper... as a GIF file!! :)

    A.


    Ashley_Price said:
    Okay, everyone, what's the weirdest request you've had from a current or prospective client?

    After 11 years, I think mine came today. Got a call from a chap who wants us to transcribe a recording of a budgie speaking. Yep, that's right - a budgie! (You can see more about the bird in question here)

    Well, I suppose we always said "You record it, we'll transcribe it!".
    Click to expand...
     
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    gibby

    Free Member
    Sep 11, 2007
    1,248
    121
    Edinburgh
  • #36
    I used to work in a musical instrument shop & we often had customers who bought guitars, keyboards & cd players but then came back asking why there was no sound when they used them
    "so I have to buy an amplifier too?" was a common question

    We also got 2 customers together who bought a microphone & a guitar & were confused when they got home as the leads didnt have a mains plug but jack plugs.
    One of them chopped the jacks off & wired up 13 amp plugs.
    Luckily they plugged them into the mains when they were not holding the equipment. They did return to the store with a very burnt guitar and wanted compensation for the damaged items, cables and a damaged carpet.




    G
     
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    lockie

    lockie

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    May 4, 2007
    1,357
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  • #37
    Well today had a classic call and thought of this thread as they asked the question.

    The question was
    " i have a very large safe and have lost the key.It has a number on the front so can you cut me a key and post it to me from the number ?"

    I pointed out it wouldn't be called a safe if getting a key for it was that easy.
     
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    Ashley_Price

    Ashley_Price

    Free Member
    Business Listing
    Feb 9, 2008
    7,096
    1,315
    Lewes, Sussex
    www.theaudiotypingservice.co.uk
  • #39
    dp0848 said:
    I once had a client ask me to produce two sets of accounts for his business. One for the taxman and one for his wife. He did not want her to know how much he really made!
    Click to expand...

    This is actually becoming quite common in the light of recent high profile high payout divorce cases.
     
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