is this too scary?

[proofpositive]

Hi,

I am trying to put together an ad for a local free paper, offering a service to reduce blood pressure.

I was thinking of using either: Diagnosed with High Blood Pressure?
or: Concerned about your High Blood Pressure? as the headline...

Then followed by: The "xxx xxx" programme could save your life!

I am worried that could be too scary and seem like I am scaremongering rather than trying to get them to call!

I also have some data to show that even a very small reduction in blood pressure (1.3/2.5mmHG) can reduce the risk of dying of a stroke by 14% and of heart disease by 10%, but again not sure whether to include because I wouldn't want to alienate people.

What do you think? Is it offensive, or just attention grabbing?

Any help and advice gratefully received!!!

 

[Consistency]

I don't think too scary. The word poo is openly being used in adverts now which I think is yuk. Whatever works.

 

[MH1]

Personally I would find it a turn off.

Concentrate on the benefits to the client, better health, lowering of risks etc rather than scare tactics IMO.

People are mainly concerned with what you can do for them, not what might apply.

 

[RevaxMedia]

I have been diagnosed with having high blood pressure and I think it would catch my eye as I am trying to reduce it

 

[proofpositive]

Hi, thanks, actually that was my concern, I want to grab their attention, but I also need them to feel that I am on their side and can actually help them in a way that their gp cannot (because ultimately 9 times out of 10 this is true!). I think I need to find something that still grabs attention but in a non threatening way - revaxmedia I am particularly interested n your viewpoint as you are my target market (and if you message me privately I can give you more info for yourself!!!)

How about something like this?

Concerned about your high pressure? I can help you to lower it naturally using the Xxx xxx programme.

Then in the benefits instead of the dying statistic:

These methods are proven to reduce your high blood pressure and even a small reduction can significantly reduce your risk of suffering with heart disease or stroke.

Thanks!

 

[webgeek]

It's 10x easier to sell on the vision of being free from a pain than it is to sell on the hurt of the pain.

 

[proofpositive]

It's 10x easier to sell on the vision of being free from a pain than it is to sell on the hurt of the pain.

That does make sense, although with high blood pressure it is not so much pain as the risk to the person's life which is the main issue that will be dealt with (that they will recognise - often their general level of stress and associated symptoms will decrease too). That was kind of what I was thinking that led me to write this post (though much more eloquently put!). I have decided I think to leave the dying a saving life scare tactics out, and see if I can find a HBP forum to do some market research.

Thanks

 

[iBusiness Forums]

Personally, I would use a classic phrase: Who else?

Who else wnats to reduce their high blood pressure?

 

[glimpsemedia]

I would certainly ring you. Just as long as you don't say "You will die if you don't ring", I think you'll be fine

 

[proofpositive]

I would certainly ring you. Just as long as you don't say "You will die if you don't ring", I think you'll be fine

Blimey I hadn't thought of that one

Sometimes there is something to be said about getting it written and getting it out there!

 

[webgeek]

Rest easier knowing that....

Enjoy life to the fullest because you've taken care of yourself...

There's lots of way of phrasing the benefit of removing the pain, without scaring someone into a coronary.

 

[proofpositive]

Hi web geek, those are really nice ways of phrasing things, both of which reflect the ethos of what I offer.

I think the main stumbling block I have had is that the majority of people with HBP will not experience any symptoms and certainly not pain (aside from potentially headaches).

In my experience the reason that people seek help is that they have been diagnosed by their GP and are concerned for the impact on their health, they may also have been prescribed drugs to lower the blood pressure and may be experiencing side effects or just don't feel happy taking them. Some people may also be aware that their life involves a lot of stress, and will be seeking help to reduce it knowing the association with high blood pressure.

So I guess the reason I have focused on the "scary" stuff is because I haven't known how else to sell the service.

Thanks for you help

 

[webgeek]

Yeah it's usually a found out too late kinda condition, though the headaches were the signal for me.

I would bet your stereotypical target market is mid 30's to 50's, has kids they want to see growing up and producing grand-kids, retirement to enjoy, maybe some nice holidays with the family. All those kinds of visions are what I think of when someone brings up life insurance, medical care or the like.

Good luck with the venture!

 

[123Simples]

Hi,

I am trying to put together an ad for a local free paper, offering a service to reduce blood pressure.

I was thinking of using either: Diagnosed with High Blood Pressure?
or: Concerned about your High Blood Pressure? as the headline...

Then followed by: The "xxx xxx" programme could save your life!

So what's the actual xxx xxx programme that could save my life! It's not about whether or not you might say something offensive or scare people witless (the Government already try that with their latest No Smoking campaigns) - it's about whether or not what you are offering is going to be of any use to people?

 

I'd rather scare someone than see them die.:|

The facts need to be out there.IMHO

Earl

 

[proofpositive]

So what's the actual xxx xxx programme that could save my life! It's not about whether or not you might say something offensive or scare people witless (the Government already try that with their latest No Smoking campaigns) - it's about whether or not what you are offering is going to be of any use to people?

The programme is www.hypnotension.com it is definitely of use to people with high blood pressure. Doctors aren't able to find a cause in about 90% of cases, and are therefore forced to treat only the symptoms with medication. Hypnotherapy can treat high blood pressure naturally and alongside any medications.

Thanks for your help,

 

[proofpositive]

Yeah it's usually a found out too late kinda condition, though the headaches were the signal for me.

I would bet your stereotypical target market is mid 30's to 50's, has kids they want to see growing up and producing grand-kids, retirement to enjoy, maybe some nice holidays with the family. All those kinds of visions are what I think of when someone brings up life insurance, medical care or the like.

Good luck with the venture!

In a strange kind of way, when people do get the headaches it's a blessing as it means the chances of them visiting the doctor and subsequently being diagnosed before anything happens increase hugely. I hope that things are well with you now.

I do agree with your assessment of my market - and the vision of them enjoying their life etc. is an important one isn't it? I suspect I can imply the disastrous consequences of HBP without actually saying it, just by highlighting that with my help they can "enjoy life to the fullest because they have taken care of themselves" (to quote a very wise person I once met on a forum! ) perhaps alongside a picture of somebody doing just that!

Thanks, you really have helped me work out how to adapt my ad to be a bit cleverer...

 

[Runner900]

I wouldn't worry too much about alienating some people - good copy tends to do that (so you know you're on the right track).

The basic rules to good copy, in my opinion, are;

1. That it is 100% truthful and accurate.
2. You just need to ensure that you're understood.
3. That when you have only a small amount of text to work with (as you do), the goal of the first line is to get people to pay attention and to read the second line. The goal of the second line is to get them to read the third line, and so on.

Both your headlines are fine - they could be punchier but they are not bad as is.

If you can fit your data into the add, then it justifies your statement of "the xyz programme could save your life."

Eg;
"Recent studies have shown that even a very small reduction in blood pressure...... etc.... by 10%."

All the best with it. Sounds like an interesting product. Don't hesitate to PM me if I can help further.

 

[Richardatj]

I don't think you've gone far enough. After all, you have Diabetes sufferers, the drinkers, smokers, high cholesterol eaters and the side effects, which go beyond strokes and heart attacks. Your targeted audience is a very wide section of people with underlying conditions and that's why I think the way you've worded your advert is "holding back".