How to win friends and influence people

One of the best books you can read if you want to learn how to sell is

'How to win friends and influence people' by Dale Carnegie (available from Amazon)

This isn't a book about selling products it's a book about selling yourself in terms of networking and building friendships and being the one person at a function everyone is talking about (positively) afterwards.

If you can sell yourself you can sell anything as when you cold call, people will buy if they trust you and feel you are sincere and less like a sales man and more like a friend.

I am a very hard person to sell to, so when a sales person hooks me I pay attention to the technique they used and invariably it's as simple as being personable, friendly and drifting off the topic of the sale and having a bit of a natter about things of interest to me.

This may appear to be a 'non sales technique' but in fact it is the most powerful sales technique of all.

When people like you they find it harder to say 'no'.

Meanwhile, there are techniques that you can employ to get people in 'yes mode' again making say 'no' harder.

Are these techniques ethical?

It depends what you're selling.

I never used the 'yes mode' technique as I always sold people what they needed and what I believed genuinely was best for them and there were odd occasions when I happily lost a sale when the client demanded something unsuitable.

Ie:
I used to dispense spectacles. Patient with very thick heavy lenses wanted a very light frame with a style of nose pad that would cut through their skin with these lenses.

Despite my warnings and advice they were adamant they wanted that frame.

I refused to sell it to them and they went else where.

I'd rather refuse a sale than sell something I know will be problematic for the client (ultimately me) and reflect my service badly when others ask 'who sold you those god awful frames?'

etc.

If you sell a product to someone who afterwards regrets that purchase you've lost yourself a good many 'word of mouth' recommendations.

Brief summary of selling


  • Know your target audience
  • Know your product inside out
  • Know your competitors product inside out
  • Be personable, friendly and sincere
  • Find out what the customers needs, fears and goals are
  • Address the above sincerely
  • Anything you don't know - admit it and ensure you find out - if you do this promptly it will earn you a lot of respect rather than making you look like a novice.

 

Hillyer

Free Member
Feb 19, 2009
281
44
Reading
I have not read that book, but it is on my "to-do list". I have heard so many people recommending it. Being able to 'sell yourself' is an awesome skill. Good for building contacts in different industries.

Thanks website copy for the thread, i'll be purchasing the book soon!
 
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T

The Movie Booth

I'd second the recommendation - the interesting thing about the book is that none of the principles are quantum-physic theories - they're all simple things such as remembering people's names, seeing things from the other persons perspective etc. Simple things that so many of us forget to do.
 
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wayney

Free Member
Jun 9, 2009
137
18
Thank you for posting this thread, 'How to win friends and influence people' by Dale Carnegie is a very good book, very simple but very helpful.The book is divided into four major points:Fundamental Techniques in Handling People;Six Ways to Make People Like You;Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking;Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment.Its the very core of building good relationships with others as well as the techniques on how to sell ourselves...:)
 
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How to win friends is interesting certainly,

It has stiff competition to be one of the best - and an army of copywriting classics to beat...

Here is a "non sales/copywriting" book...


Influence by Cialdini...

Contains interesting (and chilling) stuff about the power of persuasion psychology and how to use it.

Even how to get people to torture others. Not in Nazi Germany - This was USA peacetime in the last 20 years - ordinary people picked in response to a simple advert = that case the power of "authority".

How student groups were asked to guess the height of lecturers after lectures
When the same guy was introduced as "professor" they thought he was 4 inches taller, than control groups to whom he was introduced as just "Dr" so and so.


Seven irresistible forces in persuasion...for the others you will have to read.
 
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How to win friends is interesting certainly,

It has stiff competition to be one of the best - and an army of copywriting classics to beat...

'How to win friends....' doesn't teach anything about copywriting

It's not about copywriting

This thread isn't about copywriting :)

I'll check out that other book you mentioned though.
 
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M

Mark Pocock

I would say How to Win Friends teaches you
a lot about copywriting.

Begin in a friendly way. Empathatic opening.

Get the other person agreeing with what you
say...imediately.

Let the other person feel the idea is theirs.

Throw down a challenge.

All in all a great book.

cheers

Mark
 
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Scott-Copywriter

Free Member
May 11, 2006
9,605
2,673
'How to win friends....' doesn't teach anything about copywriting

It's not about copywriting

This thread isn't about copywriting :)

I'll check out that other book you mentioned though.

You will find that it teaches a great deal about copywriting. Writing sales copy isn't only about the formulation of words, it's about sales psychology and understanding what appeals to people on an emotional level.

It can't be directly applied to copywriting, but it sure can give you some golden nuggets of info.
 
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garyk

Free Member
Jun 14, 2006
5,992
1,019
Bedfordshire
How to win friends is interesting certainly,

It has stiff competition to be one of the best - and an army of copywriting classics to beat...

Here is a "non sales/copywriting" book...


Influence by Cialdini...

Contains interesting (and chilling) stuff about the power of persuasion psychology and how to use it.

Even how to get people to torture others. Not in Nazi Germany - This was USA peacetime in the last 20 years - ordinary people picked in response to a simple advert = that case the power of "authority".

How student groups were asked to guess the height of lecturers after lectures
When the same guy was introduced as "professor" they thought he was 4 inches taller, than control groups to whom he was introduced as just "Dr" so and so.


Seven irresistible forces in persuasion...for the others you will have to read.

I'm just half way through this book at the moment, makes for interesting reading.
 
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bani

Free Member
Jan 16, 2009
1
1
quite enlightening . fowarded the link to all my marketing staffs, definetly need to get the book for more insights.
One of the best books you can read if you want to learn how to sell is

'How to win friends and influence people' by Dale Carnegie (available from Amazon)

This isn't a book about selling products it's a book about selling yourself in terms of networking and building friendships and being the one person at a function everyone is talking about (positively) afterwards.

If you can sell yourself you can sell anything as when you cold call, people will buy if they trust you and feel you are sincere and less like a sales man and more like a friend.

I am a very hard person to sell to, so when a sales person hooks me I pay attention to the technique they used and invariably it's as simple as being personable, friendly and drifting off the topic of the sale and having a bit of a natter about things of interest to me.

This may appear to be a 'non sales technique' but in fact it is the most powerful sales technique of all.

When people like you they find it harder to say 'no'.

Meanwhile, there are techniques that you can employ to get people in 'yes mode' again making say 'no' harder.

Are these techniques ethical?

It depends what you're selling.

I never used the 'yes mode' technique as I always sold people what they needed and what I believed genuinely was best for them and there were odd occasions when I happily lost a sale when the client demanded something unsuitable.

Ie:
I used to dispense spectacles. Patient with very thick heavy lenses wanted a very light frame with a style of nose pad that would cut through their skin with these lenses.

Despite my warnings and advice they were adamant they wanted that frame.

I refused to sell it to them and they went else where.

I'd rather refuse a sale than sell something I know will be problematic for the client (ultimately me) and reflect my service badly when others ask 'who sold you those god awful frames?'

etc.

If you sell a product to someone who afterwards regrets that purchase you've lost yourself a good many 'word of mouth' recommendations.

Brief summary of selling


  • Know your target audience
  • Know your product inside out
  • Know your competitors product inside out
  • Be personable, friendly and sincere
  • Find out what the customers needs, fears and goals are
  • Address the above sincerely
  • Anything you don't know - admit it and ensure you find out - if you do this promptly it will earn you a lot of respect rather than making you look like a novice.
 
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Listened to this on my ipod whilst walking the dogs around the fields a few weeks ago, very good listening most enjoyable and made walking the dogs easier and kept walking for longer.

I think I downloaded it off either Pirate Bay or Mininova.

Tom
 
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penguin-chrissie

Free Member
Jul 24, 2009
59
7
Wales
Sounds good - will give it a go as you all seem to recommend it highly. I do feel that people buy from people and I have won many a sale in the past because the customer liked me and trusted me over my competitors who may have been a bit cheaper. Thankfully, I genuinely like people and like to be liked so it is enjoyable dealing with people and helping them where I can.

Schedule some time for reading I think :)

Thanks again
 
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gibby

Free Member
Sep 11, 2007
1,248
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Edinburgh
Its a really good book & something you can keep reading for ever

If there could be a better book I would go with Dale Carnegie's own recommendation as he wrote "I would gladly have walked fron Chicago to New York to get a copy of this book"

He wrote this about "from Failure to success in selling" by Frank Bettger

It was one of the 1st biz books I ever bought & possibly it was out before DC's book It mentions the authors encounters with DC a few times too.

Its not so much a sales book but about how to honestly deal with customers to discover what they really need & if you can help them.

Thankfully its a little quicker to read but gave instant results.


G
 
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penguin-chrissie

Free Member
Jul 24, 2009
59
7
Wales
Bought both of these as they have come so highly recommended. I am not looking so much for selling tips, although I am sure there are always ways to improve - but more to see what tips it has for building even better relationships with your customers as there is ALWAYS room for improvement there, no matter how good you are :) Will let you know how I get on!
 
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