Not seen your site but you should really sort it out if its bad from the comments. I see it as this: If your onsite seo is crap you won't get the value of off site, might only be 50% as effective for example, then if your site doesn't convert well you might get 50% less conversions so you're basically spending time/money on off site thats only 25% as effective.
I'd add in rich snippets, these are like when you see 5/5 reviews just below the url when you search, get your friends to leave fake reviews for you. You also need to sign up for google places and get your friends to leave you fake reviews there too, obviously make them look natural.
For offsite:
I'd start with a press release, try and think of something interesting for them to write about and they'll make it look good as they're high quality writers, I use:
http://www.blackhatworld.com/blackh...lease-writing-submission-huge-distributi.html
That should get picked up by some local sites if you have something vaguely interesting as they'll be signed up to receive alerts for any press releases coming up in their area.
you should make some local citations, if you don't want to do it yourself you can use:
http://localcitationservices.com/pricing-plans
Order 15 every week or 2, just tell him you'll be ordering again and to keep a note of what you already have. Then I'd send spam to the citations, I use:
http://www.blackhatworld.com/blackh...s-thousands-contextual-links-mixed-links.html
You can tell him you don't know what you're doing and he'll tell you how many are best, 5000 contextual links split between 50 different citations would probably be ideal and then you can order again a month or 2 later the same.
I'd add in some business type citations too and order contextual links to them also. You can also buy some web 2.0s, these are sites that allow you to make your own website without having to buy a url, e.g wordpress,blogger. Because 'your site' is hosted on their domain you can send spam links at them too, I use:
https://backlinkservice.wufoo.eu/forms/private-buffer-sites-network/
Tell him you're a plumber and you don't know what you're doing and he'll help you out again, he'll make the titles/urls as 'plumber 'your area'' etc and write a article about it. That service includes tier 2 but I'd send more to them monthly.
I'd also find a couple of local business/sport teams to sponsor, only cheap ones but they'll tell google you're local and legit and also get your traffic from local people and make u look a nice guy.
Note that this would be seen as really black hat by people on here but in real life its basically white hat, highly unlikely google will penalize you for any of it anytime in the next couple of years. Depending on where you are you should get top 5 on google easily unless you're in a big city. Yell etc normally take the first spot though, I wouldn't even bother going for that if you're a 1 man band 2nd should be fine. Just sort out the meta description (the 2 lines that show up in search results below your site) so that people are clicking through to your site.
Keep adding to that for a few months, 15 of the citations every week or 2, 5 web 2.0s once a month and more tier 2 spam sent once a month. If you aren't in the top 3 within 3-4 months then you either need to wait or order some pbn posts, these are more risky but still unlikely you'll get penalized if you use a high quality service that has a low amount of outbound links.
