How do forums affect your life and your time management? (be honest!)

[the white rose]

I think I've mentioned it on here before, but at the turn of the millenium I spent three years practically hard-wired into a forum which was then a tiny, burgeoning forum but is now the largest forum for rock climbers and mountaineers in the UK with over 50k regsitered users. It was then known as Rocktalk and I was christened "The Queen of Rocktalk", a position I never want to be in again, ta very much. Now it is called UKC, don't know if there's any other climbers here.

Anyway, I was going through a very nasty divorce at the beginning of this period, and it was my way of escape. Only as often happens, the place one uses as an escape hatch ends up becoming one's prison, which is exactly what happened in my case because I became addicted to the forum. There were a few days over these three years when I realised that all I had done from the minute I woke up until the minute I went to bed was post on the forum. And these were days when I didn't have the kids with me and there was a queue of other things to catch up on!

Obviously, this is time management gone tits up, but my life was going through a pulping machine at the time.

I managed (she said, casually tossing her hair to one side Miss Piggy style) to turn this experience to my advantage, and not only started writing for the climbing mags but subsequently wrote my first novel inspired by the experience of falling in love with another poster merely by the words he was writing on screen (The novel is called MY ADVENTURES IN CYBERSPACE and is due for publication in Spring 2009.)

My forum experience was in the days before profile pics and pms so I had no idea what this poster looked like. So after a few months of bantering on the forum, I organised the forum's first meet-up for forum members, ostensibly to go climbing, but really because I wanted to meet him IRL.

By the time we met up, we knew everything about one another from seeing one another on the forum and months of emails and msming, but had seen only one photo of one another (his, a pic taken on his office scanner, mine, a naughty lingerie shot - as you do.) The first second we set eyes on one another, we fell madly in love, and seven years later we're happier than ever.

So...something productive came out of my period of forum addiction. However now I need to get that book, and the subsequent books I'm writing/have written, out there, so I've set up a publishing company and need to work very, very hard. Thus, my forum contributions are limited and I allocate an hour or so in the morning for forum contribution (this one, my local Sheffield Forum and occasionally a design forum and Yahoo publishers' group) and sometimes half an hour after work. I try to keep any forum lurking or posting during the day to work related questions only.

If I allowed myself, I know from experience that forums could completely disrupt my day.

Any thoughts on this, or on falling in love through forums in general?

By the way, I've ended up going on a bit here but the reason I started this thread was I noticed another fm has posted a news release about her new book, on the Press Release forum:

Clare Evans's Time Management For Dummies

Nice one Clare, maybe we all need this book!

 

[Cornish Steve]

I spend five minutes here and five minutes there; visiting the forums is a good way to break up the day. On weekends, when I'm testing our software, there are periods when I must wait for a test to complete, so I make use of that time too. So, I'm not really eating into productive time.

As for right now, I just arrived in San Francisco and am reading the forums just before turning in for the night. (SF is a beautiful city, and I'm actually on the 29th floor of the hotel; wonderful view.)

 

[debbidoo]

Great post Jude - I love your candour

When I first joined UKBF I spent a lot of time each day reading through the posts and getting a 'feel' for the place and the other members, and I probably posted quite a lot in that time.

Now though, I pop my head in most days (UKBF is always open on my browser; I refresh it a few times a day to see if there are any threads that interest me or that I can contribute to) but I don't always post - sometimes I'll go weeks without posting anything.

Also, I get emails whenever there's a reply in one of the threads I've taken part in, so sometimes I'll go back to those and add another reply.

Some days, yes, it becomes obsessive, but not very often. Yesterday I was on the forum all day, following Ling's brilliant thread about getting to the top on Google, and a few other threads, but that doesn't happen very regularly.

Forums in general - for the duration of Big Brother I hung out a lot at the Digital Spy BB forum, which was quite addictive!

I guess what I'm saying is yes, if there are interesting threads, I can easily get sucked into staying on a forum all day - I do find there are days where I have to slap myself and say: "enough!"

The worst one for me was about 10 years ago, when I used to post on the NME's message board - that really WAS addictive! I was on it pretty much constantly at the time... but as the regulars started drifting off and doing other things, I started to lose interest (the later members weren't half as interesting) and eventually I weaned myself off it completely

I think it's very easy to find yourelf having a crush on someone just because you like the way they use language - Jude I've known a few people who've had experiences like yours, it's easily done!

 

[CKG]

I usually log in over a coffee in the morining just to wake myself up and to stick my neck in where it might be of help to someone.

When i'm having a lazy moment sometimes I will spend all day on the web looking at random shite. But that's rarely as I don't have much time to sit still without someone pestering me for something.

Though I do know people whos lives seem to revolve around internet forums and facebook etc. I'm never entirely sure if it's un healthy or just a shift in how we communicate.

I know my brain goes numb if I spend any length of time on line!

 

[Delboy]

im logged on most the time purely as im always on the web, theres always something thats worth looking at, and at low points it always pick me up i also have msn on constantly as i cant work with out being able to offload some of my tensions in to the computer

 

[Mattonella Tile Studio]

Forums could just about take over my life. I'm a moderator on another forum so feel that I have to be on there most of the time (I really don't as it's not as busy as this one but it justifies it to myself). If I have to go on site without the internet, first thing I do when I get back home is to fire up the forums to see what's going on. The other half keeps threatening to get another laptop so she can get to talk to me (through a forum of course).

Now I've written all that down I'm starting to worry. I wonder if there's a forum to help people addicted to forums.

 

[the white rose]

SF is a beautiful city, and I'm actually on the 29th floor of the hotel; wonderful view.

I am officially envious! I've never been outside Europe and would love to go to SF

Great post Jude - I love your candour

Thanks

Forums in general - for the duration of Big Brother I hung out a lot at the Digital Spy BB forum, which was quite addictive!

No waaaaaay! I haven't been on this year as I've given up on BB, but since 2003 I've been on the DS BB forum (under another username.) You didn't ever go on the "Today Is" thread, did you? It was the longest running DS BB thread for a while. I used to call it the VIP lounge as none of the...er...riff raff went in there. Most of the Today Izzers are now my facebook friends and I've met one of them, another author, IRL now as well. Of all the cyber bars in all the cyber towns you had to walk into this one! LOL!

I think it's very easy to find yourelf having a crush on someone just because you like the way they use language - Jude I've known a few people who've had experiences like yours, it's easily done!

I think it's more common now, yes. In 2001 when I met Brian online, my mates all thought I was a freak.

I know my brain goes numb if I spend any length of time on line!

I'm like that if I spend more than half an hour in Meadowhell (large retail shopping centre outside of Sheffield.)

i also have msn on constantly

I had to get rid of it. Too many teenage boys using me as an unpaid counsellor! All fine and dandy but not when I have to work!

as i cant work with out being able to offload some of my tensions in to the computer

LOL

The other half keeps threatening to get another laptop so she can get to talk to me (through a forum of course).

About a month ago, I was upstairs in bed posting on the laptop on a forum and Brian was downstairs on the PC posting on the same thread, it was quite surreal.

Now I've written all that down I'm starting to worry. I wonder if there's a forum to help people addicted to forums.

Now there's a thought...

 

[debbidoo]

No waaaaaay! I haven't been on this year as I've given up on BB, but since 2003 I've been on the DS BB forum (under another username.) You didn't ever go on the "Today Is" thread, did you? It was the longest running DS BB thread for a while. I used to call it the VIP lounge as none of the...er...riff raff went in there. Most of the Today Izzers are now my facebook friends and I've met one of them, another author, IRL now as well. Of all the cyber bars in all the cyber towns you had to walk into this one! LOL!

Lol now isn't that a coincidence? Bizarre!

I only started using DS:BB this year, halfway through the series, so I never did see the "Today Is" thread, no. The WHATM threads are good though - I didn't dare watch live feed while I was working, so WHATM was really handy for keeping up with new scandals

Oh and I 'bumped into' an olllllld acquaintance from 20 years ago while I was there, a certain ex-Melody Maker journalist (why do I have a sneaking suspicion this man is the same author you've just mentioned? ) - I recognised the name, PM'd him to say "Is that you?" and lo and behold, it was The internet is vast, but it's still a small world when you get down to it

 

[the white rose]

The WHATM threads are good though

They were certainly maintained by some dedicated fms! It took me about 2 years to figure out that WHATM meant "What's Happening At The Moment", LOL! I didn't generally read those though.

- I didn't dare watch live feed while I was working,

Live feed is unwatchable imo due to the sound dips. Also whenever I was tempted to watch the live feed I used to remind myself that you only have one life and the sand's whizzing through the little gap in the hourglass every second. Once the sand runs out it's a great big void. So I used to ask myself, "Do you really want to waste your time watching contestants in a TV show making cups of tea?" - the answer's obvious really.

The deception perpetrated by Endemol, taking viewers' money on the phone lines to vote Nicky out a few series ago, then putting her back in again, was the sign for me that they were flagrantly taking the piss out of their audience. Also, the fiasco on the DS BB forums over Jodie Marsh really made me question what kind of a show I was watching. Some of the DS fms would spend all day, every day sitting on their computers analysing, dissecting and criticising every move this woman made, a woman they'd never met and really knew nothing about. They would "investigate" her on the internet (read "stalk") then report back to their chums on the Jodie Marsh hate thread and further all gang up to rip her apart. I thought this was very telling of the fms involved, rather than the target of their obsessive hatred. It was like medieval witch-burning - horrible.

That's why in the end I only went on the Today Is thread as it was a serious discussion thread contributed to by a small handful of intellectuals who were genuinely interested in psychology, sociology and media.

I do wonder though, all that energy perpetrated by the obsessed "haters" - if that could be harnessed and re-chanelled into something positive, contributing to society, it would be amazing. I don't think it could though. That is their tonic for their unhappy lives...

Oh and I 'bumped into' an olllllld acquaintance from 20 years ago while I was there, a certain ex-Melody Maker journalist (why do I have a sneaking suspicion this man is the same author you've just mentioned? )

I don't know...I used to freelance for Melody Maker you know, back in the eighties, how weird!

- I recognised the name, PM'd him to say "Is that you?" and lo and behold, it was The internet is vast, but it's still a small world when you get down to it

Yup! (I like the smiley face icon with shades. I'm sure those are Ray-Bans.)

 

[the white rose]

Yesterday I was on the forum all day, following Ling's brilliant thread about getting to the top on Google, and a few other threads, but that doesn't happen very regularly.

Hmmm, interesting. I wrote a blog article in August about how to write a restrospectively customisable signature at the bottom of your blog posts using blogger, something I had not seen done anywhere else, so I had to figure out my own way of doing it. The post instantly showed up as the number one result on google if you typed in the keywords customise signature blogger.

However now, it's not the number one result. I don't understand that but atm I simply don't have the time to teach myself SEO and google ranking theory!

Re: spending all day reading the thread (which does look interesting!) - and this is in no way a criticism, I'm genuinely interested - why not allocate reading forum threads to after work hours, and then just read through the whole thread at once? Say, in front of the tele in the evening when the OH is watching boring boys' programmes? (I was going to say Top Gear, but I like Top Gear!) - And say to yourself, "During work hours all I will do is work."

Is that a bit anal and work obsessed? Is it healthier to have breaks? I don't know...the jury's out on this one. I tend to become immersed in work for a few hours, forget what time it is, realise 3 hours have gone and I need a cup of tea and a walk round, then maybe check ebay to burst the work bubble before diving back in...whereas forums would distract me so much there's a danger I won't dive back into work for another hour and a half...

 

[Clare]

Thanks for the mention Jude.

I love forums and get a lot out of them. I do multi-task throughout the day and check in periodically - particularly if I've posted and want to keep track on the discussion (email alerting is useful for that). Most of my posting is done in the morning (before I get going) and in the evening when I'm sitting watching TV or during the day when I've schedule time for specific posting.

If you want to get your online time under control - you can read an article (wot I wrote) on Making The Most Of Your Time Online.

 

[Gharibe]

interesting post ,
definitely when you're student you ll need to spend more time to learn stuffs on some forums like this .

but when you don't know what are you looking for in the forums that's a waste of time

 

[the white rose]

Thanks for the mention Jude.

I respect what you've done.

I love forums and get a lot out of them. I do multi-task throughout the day and check in periodically - particularly if I've posted and want to keep track on the discussion (email alerting is useful for that). Most of my posting is done in the morning (before I get going) and in the evening when I'm sitting watching TV or during the day when I've schedule time for specific posting.

I'm precisely the same. Unless I have a specific work related question, I post only in the mornings, sometimes in the evenings but I prefer to use the evenings for research. Any time during the day when I post is strictly by the clock. Forums are highly addictive and can be terrible time munchers. Before you know it, you have spent all morning talking on a forum. That is not productive, sorry.

(wot I wrote)

Making The Most Of Your Time Online.

I will read it today. Many thanks for the link, Clare

interesting post ,
definitely when you're student you ll need to spend more time to learn stuffs on some forums like this .

Learning and helping others are both good, gharibe. But you get a small proportion of net users who feel inadequate about their lives, and when they get behind a screen they get a form of computer road rage, and they then proceed to fritter away a lot of their time trying to put a plaster on their inadequacies by sneering at people on forums. I have seen it, witnessed it, got the T-Shirt (literally), written the book. These people can end up corrupting entire forum communities if other people don't stand up to them. I have seen forums rise and fall like Empires because of the destruction wreaked by out of control forum despots with inadequacy problems. This subject has been close to my heart for a few years now, although I've moved on a bit and am now more concerned with the business side of getting the book out there! Anyway, things have changed a lot in recent years with decent moderation systems. This forum is pretty good in that respect.

but when you don't know what are you looking for in the forums that's a waste of time

These particular forums are very good if you have a specific question which belong in one of the specific forums. Someone knowledgeable will be along to help you.

 

[cricket]

I actually think that posting on forums is now the only way to a) connect with like minded people and b) have time for a one to one intelligent conversation.

Good to read all the posts here and I love the topic, the originality of the poster, the way she met her MR right through knowing him intellectually before sex took over and how they've made their lives work.

Good for both of you. Lovely story. Go far and wide with your writing. The world needs your story.

 

[debbidoo]

I actually think that posting on forums is now the only way to a) connect with like minded people and b) have time for a one to one intelligent conversation.

Good to read all the posts here and I love the topic, the originality of the poster, the way she met her MR right through knowing him intellectually before sex took over and how they've made their lives work.

Good for both of you. Lovely story. Go far and wide with your writing. The world needs your story.

What a lovely post

 

[the white rose]

I actually think that posting on forums is now the only way to a) connect with like minded people and b) have time for a one to one intelligent conversation.

Good to read all the posts here and I love the topic, the originality of the poster, the way she met her MR right through knowing him intellectually before sex took over and how they've made their lives work.

Good for both of you. Lovely story. Go far and wide with your writing. The world needs your story.

That's one of the nicest posts anyone's ever made about me, thankyou, Cricket. I'm all choked up, now!

It's a great day for me today because I finally got notice from Companies House that my limited company has been formed. It's called Fleur De Lys Publishing Limited and the new website, fleurdelyspublishing.com is now live (although under construction. But it does have a very groovy under construction illustration!) (The delay, as I was talking about on another thread, was not the fault of Companies House.)

There is a sign up form for the newsletter here on my blog in today's announcement article, if anyone is interested. I have spent the last 2 weeks tearing my hair out building this newsletter, and I have to say a big thankyou to Debbidoo for pointing me towards Campaign Monitor who I finally plumped for, and for being a wonderful test guinee pig yesterday being the first person to see it outside this house! That's why I've pressed her thankyou button in the post above.

Servwise, another poster on this forum, is my web server, and he has just talked me on his site's live chat through getting my site live. I had about ten blonde moments during the live chat ie I was being a thick bimbo. He was very tolerant and polite. He got me there in the end, sigh. What a guy.

Again, thankyou, Cricket, that post means a lot to me. I am going to clock off early today, make a big Delia Smith ragu bolognaise for the freezer, then go and meet Brian for a few drinks after work.

Like L'Oreal, today...

 

[Darren Falkingham]

Hi there,

Great thread!

On a related point, we'll be running a survey with WeCanDo.BIZ, starting next week and running into October. It will ask about your business networking habits, both online and face-to-face, how much time you spend, etc ... the results should make for some interesting reading!

I hope many of you will participate - watch out for the link in next week's email bulletins.

Cheers,
Darren

 

[Clare]

Online forums are great for meeting people you would never normally have connected with - either because of distance, location or background.

However, there's nothing better than getting to know someone online and enjoying a good discusion, banter and that office cooler conversation that you miss when working from home but it also helps if you can take the opportunity to meet them offline too.

I went up to a networking meeting in London last night and had some great conversations with people who I would never have met had it not been for my online networking.

Clare

 

[ThePublisher]

Addicted to forum posting -me? Currently at about 11000 postings in 4 years on a private forum very much related to my business.

Working from home on my own, our forum is my virtual office. I'm able to share problems with people who can relate to what we're talking about and will share their knowledge knowing that we're not in competition with each other. I know that without it my business would not survive.

 

[debbidoo]

It's a great day for me today because I finally got notice from Companies House that my limited company has been formed.

Yayyyyy! Congratulations! Welcome to the directors' club It's very exclusive don'tcha know

I have to say a big thankyou to Debbidoo for pointing me towards Campaign Monitor who I finally plumped for, and for being a wonderful test guinee pig yesterday being the first person to see it outside this house! That's why I've pressed her thankyou button in the post above.

Awww shucks... thanks... :redface: It was a pleasure m'dear - and it's a fab newsletter, very entertaining I heartily recommend it

I had about ten blonde moments during the live chat ie I was being a thick bimbo.

Only ten? That's pretty good going. I have at least two dozen a day

Seriously though, I'm chuffed for you that you've finally got your business incorporated and it's all 'official'. It's just the *best* feeling, isn't it?

D x

 

[the white rose]

Hi there,

Hi Darren. I notice you are the chairman of UKBF. Does that mean this is your shebang, then?

Great thread!

It's turned into an interesting one, hasn't it? I'm very much in the thread democracy camp. Starting a thread with a good OP and good title is one thing, but it is the contributors who make a thread great. That is why you will never hear me utter the dirty words "my thread."

On a related point, we'll be running a survey with WeCanDo.BIZ, starting next week and running into October. It will ask about your business networking habits, both online and face-to-face, how much time you spend, etc ... the results should make for some interesting reading!

I hope many of you will participate - watch out for the link in next week's email bulletins.

Sounds good. I'll look out for it, cheers Darren.

I went up to a networking meeting in London last night and had some great conversations with people who I would never have met had it not been for my online networking.

Clare

The great thing about meeting IRL (in real life) after having met online, especially if you have seen the person operate in a forum environment and also had contact through private messaging, is that when you meet face to face you are not strangers. I knew more about the whims, tastes and tolerance levels of people I met IRL for the first time than I did about many of my real life acquaintances.

Having said this, there is absolutely no subsitute for meeting people face to face. What is missing in online communication are the all important body language, facial expression, and olfactory impressions (my main reason for stopping smoking a few years ago. All that hard work on your business ruined by a negative olfactory impression. See Neil Casey's The Nicotine Trick to iron out that little business problem and er....single biggest cause of death.)

In seeming contradiction to the importance of face to face communication, though, is the fact that it is easier (I believe) to fool others IRL than online. I've seen people come across as thoroughly nice chappies IRL who are actually toady weasels, which is quite plainly evident by their conduct towards others more vulnerable than they online. It's happened with one female too - seemed harmless enough IRL, (if a little creepy) and online is a disruptive passive-aggressive poo-stirring female canine.

On balance the optimum way to gauge someone is from a combination of their online and offline behaviour. I guess before we had the net when people lived in small communities, the equivalent would be seeing how people behaved at small public meetings...not sure.

Addicted to forum posting -me? Currently at about 11000 postings in 4 years on a private forum very much related to my business.

Working from home on my own, our forum is my virtual office. I'm able to share problems with people who can relate to what we're talking about and will share their knowledge knowing that we're not in competition with each other. I know that without it my business would not survive.

Sounds good to me What do you publish, The Publisher? I think the danger is when one neglects essential nuts and bolts work for yakking. The climbing forum I mentioned earlier gauges their top posters by those who have made the most posts. Despite it being a great site in general, that particular system is a sign of addiction, not of quality. Now a top 40 based on those who had received the most thanks for their posts would be a different matter. But then, I'm not into the whole idea of top anythings anyway.

Until three weeks time when Mother-in-Law, Son-in-Law hits Amazon, of course.

Yayyyyy! Congratulations! Welcome to the directors' club It's very exclusive don'tcha know

I think it's hilarious! I was in the pub after work celebrating on Friday and a man walked in who judging by his demeanor was in a senior office position, and he had two of his staff with him. He was puffing his chest out, obviously delighting in his
superior position whilst off duty, and on my way back from the bog just as I was passing his table next to ours, I smirked to Brian "I'm a company director."

This bloke visibly shrivelled in front of his staff. And there's me dressed in all my wacky author gear and him in his (off the peg) suit. I thought that was utterly fascinating. He left shortly after that - actually slunk out of the pub. And all I did was fill out a few forms, pay twenty quid to Companies House then gob off about it.

and it's a fab newsletter, very entertaining I heartily recommend it

Cheers Debs Can't wait to send it out, now

It's just the *best* feeling, isn't it?

Well, in another pub, I bumped into a friend of mine who is also a company director. His is an established company, though, really growing well, and when I told him that my company was finally incorporated his face lit up with a big cheesy smile and he boomed "Well done! What's it called, then?!" - a bit like when you've just told another mum you've just given birth to your first baby. It did feel a bit like only someone who's done it will understand the sheer volume of work and determination to shape your own destiny at your own risk...

 

[the white rose]

It did feel a bit like only someone who's done it will understand the sheer volume of work and determination to shape your own destiny at your own risk...

Course, with being a mum only the sheer volume of work part of that applies, after that you have to go with what came off the production line...

 

[Darren Falkingham]

Hi Darren. I notice you are the chairman of UKBF. Does that mean this is your shebang, then?

I can't take any credit for the creation of UKBF, I'm afraid - that was the hard work of "retired forum boss" Ozzy.

I've worked hard to grow UKBF over the past year-and-a-bit though. We're up from 9,000 members (in June 2007), to 31,000 now. Hmmm, wonder if we can get to 50,000 by the end of 2009!

 

[StarFly]

I enjoyed reading that - and there goes your hour for the day!

I think forums can be addictive and so easy to see a few hours slip by without even stopping for a cuppa - just gotta refresh that forum page to see if there's a reply - must check private messages and oh - that thread is so interesting, must reoly NOW! Not later - later the moment is gone forever, must do it NOW. Kids please stop killing each other, here's some teeth rotting pop and some chocolate, go watch more TV cos I have to read this thread NOW!

Phew - is that what you mean?

As for the falling in love thing - wow! Fantastic for you! I beleive it's very easy to build up friendships and rapor with people in forums and start to feel like you 'know' the other users. Just recently I read about a DJ getting hassled and felt really angry because it was a mean thing that happened and I wanted to stick up for my 'friend' who I've never met, never spoke to and most likely never will...

Odd isn't it. But those are the things that make us smile while writing or reading the threads - I just smiled while typing this - did you?

 

[the white rose]

I can't take any credit for the creation of UKBF, I'm afraid - that was the hard work of "retired forum boss" Ozzy.

Ah I see. I know nothing about anyone here or the site's history, tbh I'm just taking it as I find it, it's pretty obvious where the energy drains are, and conversely and more to my interest, the energy creators. Nice to know who set it up though. Anyway, keep up the good work, I know from the experience of other large site admin just how much work is involved.

I've worked hard to grow UKBF over the past year-and-a-bit though. We're up from 9,000 members (in June 2007), to 31,000 now. Hmmm, wonder if we can get to 50,000 by the end of 2009!

9K to 31K in a year is absolutely incredible, nice one. I like the fact you have a paying private member section. I will be joining as a full member in the near future.

I think forums can be addictive and so easy to see a few hours slip by without even stopping for a cuppa - just gotta refresh that forum page to see if there's a reply - must check private messages

Yup it is great fun and totally absorbing, but you have to remember that it's a quick fix for happiness and per se is not constructive long term. I know someone who for several years has logged in to a large forum first thing in the morning, logged off, gone to work, logged back in, stayed on the forum almost all day (the boss obviously doesn't give a toss) logged off, gone home, stayed on the forum nearly all evening. Any new thread that shows any promise, this poster is on it within the minute contributing some inane drivel. This is a waste of a life.

Very often though, heavily addicted forum users are not in relationships and are physically isolated from companions, so the forum is a substitute for love and affection, so the forum does have its place, although I do wonder whether forum addiction makes the addict more timorous when relating to people face to face. They get an easy buzz from being "known" on a forum - it doesn't require anything more than a posting omniprescence, even if they are talking poo most of the time. This is far less challenging than forging new and lasting friendships and relationships in real life.

and oh - that thread is so interesting, must reoly NOW! Not later - later the moment is gone forever, must do it NOW. Kids please stop killing each other, here's some teeth rotting pop and some chocolate, go watch more TV cos I have to read this thread NOW!

That's really interesting, the way you've put that, StarFly. I wrote the first few chapters of MY ADVENTURES IN CYBERSPACE in 2005 and at that time forum usage was nowhere near as commonplace as it is now. I was unsure how many people would relate to the situation you've described above. Now, though, I think millions of people will. There is an actual passage in one of the early chapters of MY ADVENTURES IN CYBERSPACE where the protagonist, Dominique DuBois, is in the exact situation you describe above. That makes me think I'm on the right track, and the time is right. I think many women with children will relate to the novel. I hope so, anyway.

As for the falling in love thing - wow! Fantastic for you!

It was an incredible love story, the beginning of a long journey, a life shattering experience, a war in which I had to practically don armour to defend my right to be in love when all around us were trying to stop us. We lost everything, but we had each other and a determination to stay together. It nearly killed me (literally) but now it's paying off.

Just recently I read about a DJ getting hassled and felt really angry because it was a mean thing that happened and I wanted to stick up for my 'friend' who I've never met, never spoke to and most likely never will...

It's always good to stick up for people. So many people trot out the old cliche "Oh they're thick skinned, they can handle it." Wrong. Everyone is human. Everyone has feelings.

Odd isn't it. But those are the things that make us smile while writing or reading the threads - I just smiled while typing this - did you?

I smiled when I read your post yesterday, StarFly. I'm not smiling now because half my brain is on knowing I've got more coding to do on my site in a bit and I struggle with it, yanno. :redface: Coding doesn't just flow out of me like words. It's a grind.

Anyway let's finish on a happy note, never mind all that silly coding.