Does your partner share your passion??

[MoonlightEnts]

Does your partner share your passion for business?

Do you thinnk that your passion for business and succeeding effects your family life?

My partner wants security, but im working on an idea that could give us financial independence.

To be honest, its annoying me that she doesnt see what im doing will benefit our future and our childs more than acting as leverage to make my boss rich !!

Anyone else in the same position or have any advice?

 

[herodigital]

You have to understand that most people need the reassurance of a monthly salary. It's all about mutual trust - her trust in you that you can make it and your trust in her that she will support you (within reason).

Before this turns into a therapy session, let me say I am in a similar situation so I empathise completely!

 

[gemd89]

My partner was never supportive of my business,think it was jealousy because i was earning more and making something of myself and he was stuck in a rut, couldnt do his dream career but i was doing mine. I threw him out after our second child was born, when she was 5 weeks old. She is 6 months old now and ive never looked back

Gemma

 

[gemd89]

What business have you started or opening? Are you quitting a full time job? How many children do you have? Does your wife work>

Gemma

 

[depaco]

Hi Guys,
1st time post, my wife is 110% behind me we have struggled for 6 mths and i was offered a job with a company car and decent salary but decided to continue with our business and my wife works part-time & 2 kids we have both dug in and it has finally started to bring home the bacon, so my advice is talk her/him around and get them to think for the future of your kids like you said, it beats making someone else rich!!

 

[gemd89]

Its not about that, why take risks when you have a family to support? Cant you talk between you to sort out some kind of action plan, if shes at home cant she answer the phone while your at work, or you just go part time at work and other half self employed

I started my business while on maternity so still have income to fall back on

Gemma

 

[Lincs1]

You have to understand that most people need the reassurance of a monthly salary. It's all about mutual trust - her trust in you that you can make it and your trust in her that she will support you (within reason).

Before this turns into a therapy session, let me say I am in a similar situation so I empathise completely!

Completely describes our business in the relationship

 

[estwig]

Hi Guys,
1st time post, my wife is 110% behind me we have struggled for 6 mths and i was offered a job with a company car and decent salary but decided to continue with our business and my wife works part-time & 2 kids we have both dug in and it has finally started to bring home the bacon, so my advice is talk her/him around and get them to think for the future of your kids like you said, it beats making someone else rich!!

Brilliant first post, good luck to you.

So what do you do to bring home the bacon??

 

[jelly3]

OP I do not know you, and as such it is not meant to be taken personally.


I have to say if your partners are not behind you in this endeavour, it could well be because of their previous experience of the wide gulf between your imagination and ability.

If you are not the type to have a half thought out brillant idea every couple of days then, it could be that the current financial climate and the high family outgoings are causing them more anxiety than they have previously vocalised.They just worry about cash all the time.

Having a business plan that they can read and involving them in your thought processes, whether they are business minded or not goes a long way imho.

My company would have been incorporated years ago if it was not for my husbands discouragement. I ignored him and started a business with a relative about 3 years ago. The company I started in June I informed him of after the fact. Now he is all enthusiastic. He keeps making suggestions. I know he is proud of me because I keep hearing the comment, 'My mate (John/Jerry/Gary/Frank from the pub said,'.....'they could get you this/do this x for you,' etc.

(In my case he was always worrying about cash, but this is no longer the case.)



My parents were self-employed which is where the seeds of my passion originated. Also my brother in law. And my brother is the founding director of a very large Manchester Business Park.

ann-marie

 

[barry502]

I think attitude to RISK has alot to do with it. Personally I am a natural risk taker where as my partner is the total opposite but she recognizes this and knows that this attitude has held her back. To her credit she has really changed over the last year or so and now we work well together, I have set up a couple of small businesses (part time) and shown her that with the right research and strong work ethic, it is is not hard to succeed at least to some degree.

 

[Bri]

I've got her permission to say yes to this thread.

 

I started my latest business from home with my husband encouragement, he knew I was going stir crazy and I think he thought it would give me a bit of pin money.
Now I have 2 shops and another one I am in the process of aquireing.
Late last year he gave up his job to come into business with me,
Now whilst I can be a bit of a risk taker, he is the most 'what if'' and ''security first''guy you will find, but I had a good business plan and invested a lot of time and effort into researching for the business and with his backing/encouragement we have gone from strength to strength.
Without his support I would have kept the business going from home and by now would be feeling in a rut.
I can understand where your partner is coming from tho, I had major doubts that the business could generate enough income to keep the roof over our heads, but by working together and pulling in the same direction we bouy each other up.
Make sure you give your partner all the facts, let them ask all the questions and make sure your answers can honestly allay their fears.
Good luck

 

[Dirky47]

We have the same situation. My partner don't even appreciate my effort in our business. What should we do?

 

[thebigIAM]

It might not just be about risk. It could be she has the foresight to realise self-employed people tend to work very long hours, ignore long-standing family commitments because a problem always crops up, tend to forget to take holidays or never forget to take a blackberry if a 'holiday' can be organised, forget/not prioritise things like parents evenings and so on.

That said, if she has any sense, she will come to realise that staying in employment will feel like being in a cage and work out a strategy/compromise.

Mine was to pursue a career where I earned enough money to pay for the essentials. I don't recommend this necessarily. It compounds the problem about neglecting family life.

 

[depaco]

Brilliant first post, good luck to you.

So what do you do to bring home the bacon??

We just work well together and we are both prepared to take risks so our business works, example we have a mortgage with 2 kids we didn't pay 1mth so we had more stock, We have made utility companies wait for payments, If you are not prepared to take any sort of risk in business is just quit now (unless you have someone ready to back you with funds from the start then if you fail please get a 9-5 job somewhere)
Hope this helps but you have got to be prepared to take these risks

 

We just work well together and we are both prepared to take risks so our business works, example we have a mortgage with 2 kids we didn't pay 1mth so we had more stock, We have made utility companies wait for payments, If you are not prepared to take any sort of risk in business is just quit now (unless you have someone ready to back you with funds from the start then if you fail please get a 9-5 job somewhere)
Hope this helps but you have got to be prepared to take these risks

If you are frequently taking risks then you have not done your research properly.

Hence you may well have a hard time staying in business.

Earl

 

[truesilver]

Hi

I deal with a lot of business owners who are in a similar position and it can be a tough place to be. Part of being great at what you do is having the support of the people you love. I have to say, sometimes I have to mention to my hubby to be positive a little more but generally he is fab!

It's difficult to know why your wife is like this, but if you haven't already ask her, may be give it a go?

Some people - having never been there themselves - only see the negatives of having your own business. The positives can be so much more rewarding:

More flexibility to be there for children if you have them,
The potential to earn a lot more,
Less travel costs

etc etc

Obviously some people don't like the uncertainty, but may be if you can reassure her then things will be better?

L

 

[depaco]

If you are frequently taking risks then you have not done your research properly.

Hence you may well have a hard time staying in business.

Earl

Research???
I Spent 12mths researching suppliers when i was layed off from work
I become a powerseller on ebay in less than 4mths this was from scratch knowing very little about my products.

I have no rich parents or had no savings myself at the time.

I took a risk i could have taken several jobs to keep our heads above water but continued instead and it os paying off so yes risks do pay off.

 

Research???
I Spent 12mths researching suppliers when i was layed off from work
I become a powerseller on ebay in less than 4mths this was from scratch knowing very little about my products.

I have no rich parents or had no savings myself at the time.

I took a risk i could have taken several jobs to keep our heads above water but continued instead and it os paying off so yes risks do pay off.

I did not say risk taking does not pay off.

But the smart money takes as few as possible.

Earl

 

[Bri]

...direct experience of having her indoors in the business.I'm the one that comes up with the hair brained idea and plan to put it into action.When I set up the shop with her retail experience it should have been a no brainer, this is the first time this has ever been said mind, Ive kept it to myself since the business closed.And I take a lot of the blame for the business closing, because I trusted her experience, I wasnt there all the time I had another business to attend to but I did devote mega time to it trying to balance the two. I was soon to find out that she wasnt suited to being her own boss, neither did she have the passion that I had, her customer facing skills werent the best, however she has come from high end retail and is back in it, she excels on the shop floor.If I'd have realised that sooner I would have taken the risk and employed someone to manage the shop, and who knows we may still have had a business. As I said earlier I was mostly to blame for not picking up on it sooner, there are other reasons why she shouldnt have been there involving hte rest of the family thinking it was a family business and the till was their personal piggy bank, but thats another story.

I am now entering into another venture as of last Friday, which she has poo pooed the idea already with her negative comments.

Whether or not they are in the business or passive observer, it is extremely important that the most important person in your life gives you that emotional crutch, that shoulder to lean on and the help if you need it for you to pursue your goals, without that its an uphill climb.

 

[amazestore]

eh discooperate with her

 

[jelly3]

eh discooperate with her

That is not a real word.

 

[Bri]

That is not a real word.

Why did you get sucked into that one?:|

 

[Bri]

Addendum to this, after she had a few tipples last night I was criticised for my latest venture and the old stuff was dragged up(various contibutory factors led to this, not related though), seems like I dont have her support then.

 

[jelly3]

Why did you get sucked into that one?:|

I was tired.

 

[papverpoppies]

Addendum to this, after she had a few tipples last night I was criticised for my latest venture and the old stuff was dragged up(various contibutory factors led to this, not related though), seems like I dont have her support then.

Sometimes the beauty of being on your own - is that there is NO one to pour scorn on your ideas.

Mind you, there is also NO one to run them past either...
But, I think that makes you more decisive.

The blame game, gawd..........never going back there again.

Everything is difficult if you are not both pulling in the same direction, and it will keep coming back to haunt, if it ever does go wrong.


Good Luck

Poppy xx

 

[Bri]

Sometimes the beauty of being on your own - is that there is NO one to pour scorn on your ideas.

Yeah she didnt get the hint, poppy x

 

[thebigIAM]

Aw Bri. I'm sending you a cyber hug.

Your situation is probably more common than you suppose. Me and the OH have certainly done that.

Talking about old times can really suck. Tell her you still love her and one of you make up some mugs of cocoa.

 

[Bri]

Tell her you still love her and one of you make up some mugs of cocoa.

I've tried but she wont return any of my emails............oh sorry yeah, you mean current Mrs Bri.

 

[papverpoppies]

I've tried but she wont return any of my emails............oh sorry yeah, you mean current Mrs Bri.

Funny ha, ha!

I did 27 years (lifers serve less than that).

Two sugars in my cocoa please, oops, got to do it myself.



Poppy xx

 

My partner and I are in total agreement about running our own business and being financially independent. We both really want to be doing design and photography, which is something we both love. We really hope that it works out that way.

However; with it being so hard to get work in at the moment (and because I lost my part-time job) I'm really missing the security of a regular wage. I'm now finding out the impact it is having on home life as well as on myself - not bringing in regular money - and am now trying to get a job in the meantime which I can work outside the normal 9-5 hours, just to keep me going.

 

[Bri]

Funny ha, ha!

I did 27 years (lifers serve less than that).

Two sugars in my cocoa please, oops, got to do it myself.



Poppy xx

Do you fight with yourself too poppy x

I could come round and borrow some sugar......................damn I dont take any, subtle flaw in my plan there. x