Discussing your business dealings with your spouse

[MAWuk]

Morning All,

Who here feels comfortable with talking to their partner about your business dealings and who for various reasons makes a point of not involving their wife/husband in their day to day business antics. I have been advised recently not to discuss my business dealings with my wife by a couple of older chaps (60's) who have said it could bite me in the bum later down the line-as it had done to them. Keep her in the dark they say! I suppose she is hearing inside info almost each day! What are peoples thoughts on this?

Regards

Maw

 

[MOIC]

Depends on the wife.

Some want to be informed, some aren't interested.

Best to ask her.

What's yours is hers . . . . . .

Best never to keep secrets . . . .THAT could well end up biting you up the bum, as you mentioned.

 

[john1989]

I don't lead my relationship by other people's negative relationship experiences.

 

[MOIC]

I don't lead my relationship by other people's negative relationship experiences.

Well said!

 

[Ian J]

I have been advised recently not to discuss my business dealings with my wife by a couple of older chaps (60's) who have said it could bite me in the bum later down the line-as it had done to them.

I have this mental image of a neanderthal man dragging his woman along by the hair

 

[Carl "Excel-Expert" Nixon]

No secrets in our house, but she is not really interested in the day to day stuff (I deal in spreadsheets for a living and she can only fake interest in them for so long) but we do talk about the bigger stuff (e.g. spending money on marketing, problems with clients etc).

Willing withholding information from your life partner seems to be the recipe for disaster.

 

[stevebrownlie]

Haven't you watched The Godfather... the correct line is "I've told you before not to ask me about my business" then just one time if she really pushes it "ok this one time I will permit you to ask me about my business". Then you just lie if you don't like the question.

Then again I'm sure most of us don't work in such a 'sensitive' industry where hiding things from our partners is really needed

 

[Psl]

My soon to be ex-wife showed that she was never really interested in the mechanics or day to day aspects of my business during the 15 years of our marriage. To a certain extent she still isn't, but based on the info she has, her lawyers are! Which is daft really as I have already said she can have half.
On a lighter note, the only thing she took when she left, besides the kids, was our Quentin Tarantino First Release Special Edition DVD collection....now that did hurt

There really isn't any reason* not to involve/discuss/tell your wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/husband about your business* (I hate the term partner used in the context of a relationship). That is, of course, if your spouse et-al is willing to listen about your business. You never know, they may be a font knowledge or proffer some great and unbiased advice on certain aspects.

*We are discussing business that is legal

 

[Chris Ashdown]

wives do not like change or risk in their lives so best to avoid any talk of business or plans and leave all positive stuff to yourself

(If my wife is reading this I am talking about generally dear not you)

 

[Pish_Pash]

I never discuss business stuff with my wife, she can't parse the information .....but your mileage may vary & should depend on variables such as whether you intend staying with your wife.

 

[BRIDGREGORY]

Many small businesses that are run by "a man" will have the blokes wife as company secretary for financial and legal reasons.
In this case I'm sure that the wife of the owner will want to know the outline story if mot the details after all the roof over her head may well be involved as security against loans.
No one wants to end up out on the street especially if they had no say in it.

 

[MikeJ]

There appears to be a lot of "Women - know your place" attitudes around here.

 

[AllUpHere]

Anyone worrying about these kind of things has married the wrong woman.

 

[Mitch3473]

I discuss everything about the business with the Mrs, I have too, we're business partners. I usually ignore her and do it anyway. She then goes into default panic mode. The job gets done, on time and the customer is happy. I then leave her to clear up the mess................It works. She does, on occasion, refuse to tell me how much we have at the bank just in case I go on a spending spree. I find out....everyone is happy, except the Mrs.

 

[stallfinder]

My husband and I run our business together although he also works for another company which is his main job. We often use each other as sounding boards for both businesses. Like an earlier poster said, if you're worried what might happen in the future and don't trust your spouse then you probably are married to the wrong person. .

 

[Dawn Osolinski]

There's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said above. Sharing business ideas and discussing business in general with your spouse isn't a bad thing, in fact it's a good thing. You're getting a fresh perspective and they may even ask or bring up topics that you haven't even considered. Plus, where's the "how was your day?" going to come from now?

 

[Carl "Excel-Expert" Nixon]

Anyone worrying about these kind of things has married the wrong woman.

This x1000.

Just reading between the lines here - a lot people seem to have a negative view of their partners ability to deal with information about their businesses.

I have lived with my partner for 26+years (not married, I dont like to rush these things) and I tell her the good stuff and the bad stuff. We celebrate the good stuff and work out the bad stuff between us. She may not be able to help directly with the problems but she makes a great sounding board and supporter.

 

[Psl]

Anyone worrying about these kind of things has married the wrong woman.

They are never wrong when we fall in love with them and get married....but it can, and does change!!

 

[john1989]

They are never wrong when we fall in love with them and get married....but it can, and does change!!

It might be more likely to change if you build the marriage on distrust and secrets.

 

[Psl]

It might be more likely to change if you build the marriage on distrust and secrets.

Marriages never start out that way, my didn't anyway.

I always told my then wife everything, the good bad and the ugly. She chose to only listen to the parts that she wanted to.

In my case it was her lies, deceit and secrets that ended it, and caused the collapse of a very viable business that had a serious T/O v Profit. But hey ho, lesson learnt!

 

[Ian J]

I have lived with my partner for 26+years (not married, I dont like to rush these things).

Well that brought a smile to my face at least

 

[JEREMY HAWKE]

As a rule my wife has her own work and does not get involved or worry about this ,She does like to help if things are a struggle .and gets on well with some of our local customers so its always a good thing if she pops in .If she knows of a delivery to a nice place or a famous person she may sometimes say "we could do that job ourselves !"

Sometimes it is nice for people to know your spouse ,partner girl/boy friend or what ever your situation maybe . I think its good and makes you appear more human !
Running a business can be very tough and it is important that your husband wife partner or what ever is supportive and I would always ask this question to somebody new . Is your partner able to cope with the uncertainty and challenges that will be ahead .A question we never think about when giving advice on here

 

[Chris Ashdown]

Wow it's all getting mighty heavy on here, lighten up folks

 

[Deleted member 59730]

Surely, as in most things in life your spouse needs to be consulted on how your business is run and what its objectives are. Several times in our lives we have hit hard times and only by being together on money matters have we come through to better times.