Advice needed on my Job

[JCrane2014]

Evening all,

I work for a well known retail company and have been there for four years.
My contracted days to work are Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sundays, This Thursday I was working my shift and was asked if I wanted to work 9-3 on friday one of my days off to which I said yes, but coming to the end of it a customer had sprayed a deodrant all over themselves and then put it back on the shelve, I then said Can you please not do that to which I was ignored and laughed at which made me very upset and stressed. I then said Anything that is sprayed you will have to pay for to which one of my supervisors said to me, don't make them pay for it which made even more upset, I went home that evening very frustrated and in the morning didn't go in for the extra shift I was offered. I had a text from my manager just after 9 saying if in what time? But I didn't see this until twenty past 2 to which I replied I'm so sorry I have only just seen this and sorry I couldn't make it in but thinking if it wasn't one of my contracted days it wouldn't matter so i left it at that. Saturday comes and I go in for my shift and I get called into the office and asked what happened friday, I replied i was very stressed from thursdays incident and didnt want to come in friday, but I said I honestly didnt see youre text until 2.20pm to which I was told that what i was saying was a load of rubbish but it was the truth, this made me very worked out and i was trying to get my point across but my manager wouldnt let me speak so I ended up walking out of the office grabbed my coat and headed out the shop, he followed me and said if you walk out that door youre done and in the heat of the moment i said I dont care and he said fine dont come back, the next day I text my manager saying i was sorry for my actions and what will happen to my job, i was told i needed to understand i verbally resigned and i needed to speak to him direct, i have to see him at 1130 tuesday to discuss the outcome, So i am asking for advice, who is in the wrong, can I be sacked for this thank you

 

[paulears]

when working with the public, getting abused is pretty standard stuff - if being laughed at really upset you and caused you stress, I don't mean any offence, but you really need to toughen up. Working with the public means you will get far, far worse than this.

Your problem is you let the team down. They asked you to work - you said yes, and for them, that's a commitment. It doesn't matter that it's not contracted - if you had said no, they would have kept asking until somebody said yes. They stopped asking when you said yes. If you knew you should have been in, and just did nothing - then surely you should have phoned in as early as possible.

So you started it by not turning up, you then compounded it by not phoning in, then gave them an excuse in the afternoon, by which time they were justifiably upset. You then behaved childishly by walking out - crazy, when you really should have been in full 'sorry' mode. Texting is also a very unprofessional way of dealing with it, because text NEVER gives accurate meaning.

The answer is simple - the only thing they did wrong was telling you that if you walk out you are done, and don't come back - although I suspect tempers by that time were frayed with you behaving so childishly. The person really in the wrong is you - not turning up, not phoning in, and giving what they thought was a poor excuse. You made it worse by not saying sorry and accepting a verbal rebuke. Putting on your coat and walking out made it worse.

You need to tell them how sorry you are, and how bad you feel about letting them down, and you only behaved as you did because the customer had upset you. If they think you are worth keeping on, they may do - if you apologise properly and promise it won't happen again - but if you really wrecked everything by your actions, and haven't been there two years, then they are likely to tell you not to come back.

So it's clear who was in the wrong - you, as to getting the sack - was it gross misconduct? If you haven't been there long, they can just fire you with no real chance to save it. If you have been there more than a couple of years, then there is a process to follow. However - you did kind of resign, didn't you?

Sorry this sounds a bit negative, but you did shoot yourself in the foot by messing everything up.

 

[JCrane2014]

Sorry but I don't agree with any of that and I am entitled to my opinion as you are to yours, and I have been there for over four years and no I don't feel it was gross misconduct

 

[paulears]

That's perfectly fine. I quite understand your opinion, but you did ask for other people's opinion - and maybe mine is more aligned to your employers viewpoint - which surely must be something you need to know when you prepare to fight.

The contents do ned considering though.

You say you don't agree with any of it? If you strip it right back, the key feature is that you said you would be in, then didn't go in, and failed to inform them - which no doubt caused much grief.

You walked out and there was a bit of shouting between you and the manager when you did the walk!

It's kind of the sitcom standard scene. Employee doesn't like being told, and instead of having a sensible discussion, walks out, followed by the "don't come back" comment.

Let's break it down into questions that will be asked, so you can prepare.

Why didn't you come in?

Your answer is that a customer sprayed deodorant on themselves and put it back on the shelf. You thought this was unacceptable and told them, however, your supervisor did not agree - presumably figuring a public dispute was just counter productive with that kind of customer. Being blunt - did you expect some kind of legal action to be taken against a customer for stealing a squirt of smelly stuff? What value was the 'crime'? a couple of quid at most. The supervisor would suggest that it was just a trading hazard, and you write off the can! Getting into an argument with some types of customer is pointless, makes you grumpy and they win no matter what. So it may be concluded that your upset and stress is insignificant in the great scheme of things. Certainly if asked your supervisor may well say you over-reacted, and will probably have the opinion that the level of stress and upset was well within the parameters of the job. Most people who work with the public would find this trivial. I do appreciate you don't, but if you expect the general public to be polite and friendly to you, maybe you actually need to have a toughen up session?

You went home and it festered over night and you were in such a state that you couldn't fulfil the obligation to attend work, as you said you would. You could have notified your boss - but you didn't. This is the key factor. In your contract is almost certainly a section that requires you to do this.

When you did go back to work you mentioned this bit

I replied i was very stressed from thursdays incident and didnt want to come in friday, but I said I honestly didnt see youre text until 2.20pm to which I was told that what i was saying was a load of rubbish

You admitted you didn't want to come in - so they might wonder why you then failed to contact them?

Is it gross misconduct? On the face of it, perhaps not - but coupled with the walking out and not coming back section, then maybe. You did wrong, then instead of apologising, you compounded it by walking out.

Do you have any loyalty or commitment towards your employer? It sounds like you may be better off working in a less stressful environment. Some people relish the interaction between people, like Basil Fawlty - other people simply hate confrontation. Getting angry and infuriated by customers is par for the job. It's normal, and you need to be more assertive and when you lose, you lose. You walk away and get on with your job - not go home and fester because somebody laughed at you and ignored you? Respect is a rare thing dealing with the public.

If you have been there four years - this is good, because they will need to go through their disciplinary process formally. I'd expect the usual verbal warning stage to have been bypassed here, but you will be entitled to a fair hearing and representation from your union, if they recognise them. You need to prepare concise and accurate answers to the basic questions they will ask.

The actual incident is background and sets your state of mind. They will want to know why you did not turn up, and why you did not contact them. Next might be your behaviour at the informal meeting in the office when you walked out. What reason will you use to defend you not accepting the rebuke - because presumably at that point you could have accepted a verbal ticking off, but you chose to walk out.

I still remember to this day when mid rebuke - one of my most troublesome people stopped me mid flow, told me he was going until I'd become more reasonable, and went to walk out. I too, told him that if he went - then not to come back, and I really meant it. In the back of my mind was a list of previous minor misdemeanours and telling offs, which I had noted in my diary when they happened - just in case. He came back the next day and said sorry - and because he was good at his actual job, and just very, very annoying in all things surrounding it, I let him carry on. Maybe your plus points will be enough to swing this one your way? I hope so - but remember, we are a business forum, and as such, we're biased towards the business, not the employee.

The real way it works is that if you are a pain in the bum, and they really don't need the hassle of you being a bit precious (which sadly, does appear to be the case re: the upset and stress) then you really need to be good at your job to keep it.

Try to look in from outside. If you had planned a day off, on the word of a colleague that they would come in and cover for you - how would you feel if they didn't come in, and wrecked your day off?

I don't want to belittle your feelings, and I do understand you personally were upset by the customer - but your perspective is a bit slanted. If you had confronted a shoplifter, and got a punch in the face, then being off for stress would be quite understandable - being ignored and laughed at is school playground stuff, not grown up work stuff! My current role means my staff, and my clients staff take the mickey out of me to my face daily. They play practical jokes on me, and I do the same in return. It's often very cutting. Half my people are gay, half straight and score points continuously, all in fun. However - there is a line, and crossing it is very, very bad. The occasional person cannot seem to understand this, and has a hard time. The view of the majority is that these people are just in the wrong job.

Use me as the negative part. No doubt others will be very supportive of your stance, so it's all about balance. Imagine it as a court room drama, with you in the witness box. How will the jury see it? You are too close, me perhaps unsympathetic - so it's the others you need to think about.

Best of luck with it. The HR experts on here will be able to take a pace back and advise you on process and the legal aspects far better than I. There will be a process in place that will be followed, and with some effort, perhaps a decent defence can be scrabbled together - I hope so.

 

[The Byre]

It looks as if the manager is going to give you a second chance, probably with a letter of reprimand. If this does happen, take it! Tell your manager that you are aware that you behaved like an idiot.

But if you throw another pointless hissy-fit, I am sure that the HR department will be consulted about 'letting you go!'

In the long run, you are going to have to make a decision - if you are 'sensitive' then you are not cut-out to be in sales. If you are in sales, you cannot afford to be 'sensitive.'

 

[gemma.wilson]

I strongly agree with @paulears here.

However I can completely understand you were upset and stressed about the ordeal. Though in many occasions it's a lot less painful and stressful in the end if you just take it on the chin. I know that's harder said than done, but by walking out you have probably put your manager is a very difficult position.

When you head in on Tuesday you need to be sincerely honest with your manager, but avoid making excuses for yourself. Your manager undoubtedly believes you were in the wrong, so accept that and apologise for your actions. Reassure your manager it wont happen again and you've never behaved like this in your entire four year employment with them.

It will probably be a difficult and awkward conversation, but it wont last for ever. Listen to your manager and take in what they're saying. Take it on the chin and take their word.

 

[DavidJohn]

It's tough working in customer facing roles anywhere but I can certainly understand your frustration. Hopefully you employer can see your value as a loyal employee and will work this out with you. You should never not turn up for a shift though, you have to accept your own actions caused some of the problem here. Learn from your mistakes, and move on.

 

[Newchodge]

Go back to the original incident. What training have you had in dealing with that kind of situation? Did your response tally with your training and/or your employer's attitude to this kind of thing? Was your supervisor unpleasant when they advised you not to tell the customer they would have to pay?

If you have been in this job for 4 years I cannot believe this was the first time this kind of thing has happened, and your response seems a little out of proportion. Is there something else going on at work, or elsewhere, that has left you feeling stressed?

In my professional view you were entirely in the wrong. Yoiu agreed to work Friday, that means, even though it is not your normal day, you were contracted to turn up. Not turning up and not ringing in to explain are disciplinary matters. Your manager tried to deal with the situation by talikng to you and your response was just plain wrong. You stated that you didn't feellike going in because of what happened on Thursday. That is what matters, not the time that you saw the text. Would you have behaved the same way if it had been your normal shift?

You need to go in on Tuesday and apologise, both for the initial failure to work or ring in AND for your response to the manager. Explain that you realise you were out of order on both counts and apologise. Don't try to justify why it happened, until (or unless) you are asked why it happened.

Then take it from there.

 

[businessfunding]

I didn't read the post because of the continuous text.

which is kind of relevant since, from the bits I have read it appears that no one has done much wrong and that the crux of the problem boils down to communication.

Take the chip off your shoulder, communicate and it will work out!

 

[14Steve14]

I love these sort of posts where the op throws their toys out the pram, has a hissy fit and storms off. Suddenly they think that they may have overdone things and then try to find an excuse for their behavior after thinking about the consequences, and look to pass the blame to someone else. I must agree with the 2nd post. Its no ones fault apart from the ops. What they now have to do is to figure out a way of being sorry enough to creep and crawl to get the job back. Hopefully the manager will remember what has happened and put it all on record and try to find another employee who does what they say they will, is big enough to admit they were in the wrong, and will think of the consequences before carrying out any childish actions. Hopefully the op will learn from the mistakes and not let it happen if they find another job.

The above may sound harsh, but the truth generally is.

 

[kelvin1950]

Simple, short answer. You have two choices here:

1. Abject apology and hope you get away with a warning.

2. Leave and find another job, possibly not dealing with the public.

 

[deniser]

I agree with everything that has been said but a little bit in the OP's defence, it is not nice when a manager undermines a member of staff in front of a customer. I can see why this would lead to a great deal of resentment and stress.

I always say to my staff that if a customer is being rude or offensive that they have my authority to deal with the situation in the way they think fit and that I will back them all the way.

If I were the OP though I would swallow my pride and try to grovel my way back into my job.

 

[paulears]

If he can find the courage to apologise profusely (even though perhaps he feels it's not his fault) then hopefully all will return to normal. I hope it doesn't escalate, but nowadays, retail is a bit like ebay - the customer is NEVER to blame for anything, and any staff member following rules laid down that gets a bad Facebook comment is immediately in the wrong. A very fine line, and no wonder staff sometimes don;t stand up for themselves.

 

[ecoleman]

I agree with everything that has been said but a little bit in the OP's defence, it is not nice when a manager undermines a member of staff in front of a customer. I can see why this would lead to a great deal of resentment and stress.

Resentment - Sure, Stress - Really? He needs to grow a pair. Retail is a stressful job.

I'm certainly not a believer that the customer is always right, but most high street retailers do adopt this policy and no manager wants unnecessary confrontation between staff and customers on the shop floor in front of other customers.

It appears to me that the OP doesn't like it when he is told what to do (you can tell that from his first post) or is told something he doesn't agree with (you can see that by his second post).

What gets me is why he thought he would get sympathy on a business / retail forum full of business owners.

 

[japancool]

What the customer did is kind of neither here nor there. I agree with the rest of the posters. The OP:
a) Didn't turn up to an agreed shift because he/she was upset and stress. This part is fair enough.
b) Didn't bother to tell anyone that they weren't coming in. This part is completely unacceptable.

A responsible employee would have taken the 1 minute needed to call or text the manager to tell them they weren't coming in.

 

[beasty]

They cannot force you out the door, you made a couple of bad decisions but they need to go through a process with you and not just say, step over this line and you do not work here, does not work like that.

Sure you should have called but that did not happen, the result is still not you should lose your job.

Just explain, bad week, things piled up, i made a stupid decision but i did not resign, that walking out might be worth a formal warning, but you should not chuck your job based on a couple of bumps

 

[JohnBekra]

After 25 years working in shops may I suggest what I think should have happened...
In a shop environment any lunatic with a spray or a liquid of any sort has to be treated with great caution.
If the lunatic had been forced to pay for the goods there is a reasonable chance one or more members of staff would have been sprayed in the face and/or a lot of shop stock destroyed. So I think the manager was correct to step in to prevent any attempt being made to force the customer to pay for the goods. The manager was in a position to see the interaction between the member of staff and the lunatic whereas the staff member could only see the lunatic and you either enforce rules or you don't. After the lunatic was out of the shop the manager should have explained the reason for the sudden about face on rules leaving the staff member wiser and better trained and in no way resentful.
So far every manager that has replied clearly feels it is better to keep staff untrained, don't share experience and give every lunatic the advantage they so richly deserve.
The staff member failed to appreciate that managers (we have several examples here) are traditionally (and currently) promoted to the level at which they are incompetent.

 

[japancool]

The staff member failed to appreciate that managers (we have several examples here) are traditionally (and currently) promoted to the level at which they are incompetent.

Then the shop floor staff must presumably be even more incompetent because they've failed to be promoted even that high.