It's so unfair...

[Fagin2021]

Woe, woe, and thrice woe. (No comments about seniority please – I’m looking at you @MyOfficeInChina). Despite fierce opposition, the upper and lower chambers of the Dawson household have enacted a law restricting my rant allowance to 3 minutes on a Sunday morning, on any subject of my choice!

This following a long, vicious and fully justified attack on manufacturers of telecoms kit who describe their WiFi extenders and repeaters as ‘boosters’. These bandits have made top spot on the ‘if-I-ruled-the-world’ execution list, temporarily replacing sellers of soft-metal woodscrews.

3 minutes! How can anyone pack self-untying shoelaces, unstable microwave platters, Mercedes car-owner manuals and Boris Johnson, into 3 minutes ?

What’s more, when my back was turned, a ‘use it or lose it clause’ was added to the primary legislation.

What’s a chap to do? Haranguing Tiddles in the garden is no substitute for a spittle-flecked tirade at one’s nearest and dearest.

It’s so unfair.

 

[WaveJumper]

I hope a suitable 'fine' resume has been put in place just in case you think about breaking the new local bylaws ?

 

[Fagin2021]

Good news from the Rant Police. Satire and ridicule are exempt from the new regulations so Michael Fabricant MP remains safe territory.

 

[MOIC]

I’d move out on Saturday night and return first thing Monday morning………with a smile on your face ………and perhaps a bunch of flowers.

Is Easter Sunday exempt?

 

[MOIC]

Good news from the Rant Police. Satire and ridicule are exempt from the new regulations so Michael Fabricant MP remains safe territory.

Sounds like they’re softening their stance and want The Old (no pun intended) Fagin back.

Happy Easter!

 

[Bob Morgan]

You need a Garden Shed!

 

[Newchodge]

Woe, woe, and thrice woe. (No comments about seniority please – I’m looking at you @MyOfficeInChina). Despite fierce opposition, the upper and lower chambers of the Dawson household have enacted a law restricting my rant allowance to 3 minutes on a Sunday morning, on any subject of my choice!

This following a long, vicious and fully justified attack on manufacturers of telecoms kit who describe their WiFi extenders and repeaters as ‘boosters’. These bandits have made top spot on the ‘if-I-ruled-the-world’ execution list, temporarily replacing sellers of soft-metal woodscrews.

3 minutes! How can anyone pack self-untying shoelaces, unstable microwave platters, Mercedes car-owner manuals and Boris Johnson, into 3 minutes ?

What’s more, when my back was turned, a ‘use it or lose it clause’ was added to the primary legislation.

What’s a chap to do? Haranguing Tiddles in the garden is no substitute for a spittle-flecked tirade at one’s nearest and dearest.

It’s so unfair.

Often legislation passed in haste contains drafting errors which can be exploited. So a limit of 3 minutes on a Sunday morning may be construed as unlimited ranting after 12:00 on Sunday or on any other day of the week. Have you considered this?

 

[Fagin2021]

Often legislation passed in haste contains drafting errors which can be exploited. So a limit of 3 minutes on a Sunday morning may be construed as unlimited ranting after 12:00 on Sunday or on any other day of the week. Have you considered this?

An interesting idea, but high risk - like chumming for sharks without a boat.

 

[Bob Morgan]

Interesting ideas here, but I dismissed my 'Minister of the Interior' over 20 years ago!

 

[The Byre]

How can anyone pack self-untying shoelaces, unstable microwave platters, Mercedes car-owner manuals and Boris Johnson, into 3 minutes ?

I have yet to read a car manual - except once. A bloody Kia rental car. I had to go grubbing through the manual at three in the morning at an airport in order to find out how to put it into reverse. Knock-over - no. Push down - no. Pull up - no. Magic switch somewhere - no.

In desperation, I actually read the stupid manual to discover that I had to squeeze the bottom half of the gear lever into the top half. What a stupid idea!

Oh, hang on! I did read my current car's manual a long time ago, about a month or so after I bought it. A silly warning light came on shaped like a horseshoe. For the life of me, I couldn't work out what that was supposed to be. It was tyre pressure. I suppose, if it had been on my horse, he would have had a picture of a wheel on him when his hooves needed attention!

 

[Fagin2021]

I have yet to read a car manual - except once. A bloody Kia rental car. I had to go grubbing through the manual at three in the morning at an airport in order to find out how to put it into reverse. Knock-over - no. Push down - no. Pull up - no. Magic switch somewhere - no.

In desperation, I actually read the stupid manual to discover that I had to squeeze the bottom half of the gear lever into the top half. What a stupid idea!

Oh, hang on! I did read my current car's manual a long time ago, about a month or so after I bought it. A silly warning light came on shaped like a horseshoe. For the life of me, I couldn't work out what that was supposed to be. It was tyre pressure. I suppose, if it had been on my horse, he would have had a picture of a wheel on him when his hooves needed attention!

In fairness, much of this is the fault of product liability laws. It results in such useful advice on page 347 of the manual..."don't strap your child to the roof-rack and drive at 80mph as this could result in injury or death".

 

[The Byre]

"don't strap your child to the roof-rack and drive at 80mph as this could result in injury or death".

Now he tells me!

 

[Mark T Jones]

In fairness, much of this is the fault of product liability laws. It results in such useful advice on page 347 of the manual..."don't strap your child to the roof-rack and drive at 80mph as this could result in injury or death".

Reminds me of something I saw recently on Facebook.

'In the '70s, the car manual told me what the plug and point gaps should be. Today it warns me not to drink the contents of the battery'.

 

[Paul Norman]

I have yet to read a car manual - except once. A bloody Kia rental car. I had to go grubbing through the manual at three in the morning at an airport in order to find out how to put it into reverse. Knock-over - no. Push down - no. Pull up - no. Magic switch somewhere - no.

In desperation, I actually read the stupid manual to discover that I had to squeeze the bottom half of the gear lever into the top half. What a stupid idea!

Oh, hang on! I did read my current car's manual a long time ago, about a month or so after I bought it. A silly warning light came on shaped like a horseshoe. For the life of me, I couldn't work out what that was supposed to be. It was tyre pressure. I suppose, if it had been on my horse, he would have had a picture of a wheel on him when his hooves needed attention!

Mercedes car manuals are in a league of their own, though.

I don't recommend reading one, of course. Well not from cover to cover. But at least do a chapter. You will love the safety warnings at the end of each section, and the way the manual does not quite relate to the model you have.

 

[Paul Norman]

Reminds me of something I saw recently on Facebook.

'In the '70s, the car manual told me what the plug and point gaps should be. Today it warns me not to drink the contents of the battery'.

More alarmingly, of course, the briefest of chats with anyone who works in A and E will confirm that this warning is entirely necessary.