Stress and Anxiety Issues

Discussion in 'Employment & HR' started by CliveD, Sep 16, 2018.

  1. CliveD

    CliveD UKBF Newcomer Free Member

    12 1
    A member of my family who has quite an high powered job has for the past four or five months had their work team of 100 or so reduced to 4 as the project they were working on was notionally completed. However, the workload went up considerably whilst the support they had reduced virtually to nil as they were the only ones left to sort out the many bugs found in the system. As a result they (the family member) became very anxious and stressed out. The continuing level of stress and lack of support has resulted in them going off sick suffering from severe anxiety based paranoia, which has taken the form of believing that their bosses are out to get them and will have them arrested for not doing a good job. I realise this sounds completely over the top, but this is what severe excess stress can do to an otherwise very capable person.

    So how to move forward and resolve the problem? If, for example, they had run up £1000s of debt, it could be paid off for them and normally would be restored. In this situation however, the only resolution is for them to be convinced that their bosses are not out to get them. One option is to resign and look for another job, but they are on 3 months notice. We hope to get them some cognitive based therapy via the NHS, but as usually, this may take weeks rather than days and may be ongoing for several months.

    Has anyone any experience of any sort of similar issue and how it was resolved.

    Any advice would be gratefully received.
     
    Posted: Sep 16, 2018 By: CliveD Member since: Jan 10, 2013
    #1
  2. Inva

    Inva UKBF Regular Free Member

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    Maybe it could be explained to them that their bosses are unreasonable in not hiring extra staff, so it's their own fault and not the employees' if the job does not get carried out in time. Therefore they don't have ground to "get them" in case the job is not completed.
     
    Posted: Sep 17, 2018 By: Inva Member since: Aug 10, 2018
    #2
  3. Newchodge

    Newchodge UKBF Big Shot Free Member

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    There are no quick fixes for this kind of situation. Possibly if the stresses had been recognised at an early stage, and action taken to alleviate the pressures, then the illness would not have developed. But the time for that is long gone.

    'In this situation however, the only resolution is for them to be convinced that their bosses are not out to get them.' No you are looking at treating a symptom. They need treatment for their illness, which they will only get from professionals. Your role is to support them and help them deal with their illness. Persuading them that they are wrong is both pointless and impossible.
     
    Posted: Sep 17, 2018 By: Newchodge Member since: Nov 8, 2012
    #3
  4. Gecko001

    Gecko001 UKBF Enthusiast Free Member

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    Having family members "solving" the problem will only compound this feeling of failure that they have built up in their mind even though it is probable that the failings are failings others and not their's

    The help they need will probably not be the help that most people want to give. The best help will NOT involve advice or even suggestions, but will involve a lot of time and sometimes quite a bit of sacrifice on the part of those wanting to help.
     
    Posted: Sep 17, 2018 By: Gecko001 Member since: Apr 21, 2011
    #4
  5. Mr D

    Mr D UKBF Legend Free Member

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    Family can support. Family can add to problems.

    Ideally they need to deal with a trained professional, and over time they may get beyond the current thinking.
    Takes time and sadly the trained professionals are often booked solid. Months to get initial appointment and more months to progress for some. Longer even.
     
    Posted: Sep 17, 2018 By: Mr D Member since: Feb 12, 2017
    #5
  6. CliveD

    CliveD UKBF Newcomer Free Member

    12 1
    Thanks for your thoughts and considerations everyone. Indeed a difficult time.
     
    Posted: Sep 17, 2018 By: CliveD Member since: Jan 10, 2013
    #6
  7. Stas Lawicki

    Stas Lawicki UKBF Newcomer Free Member

    11 2
    I'm sorry to hear that you and your family member are suffering.

    Perhaps a route to remedy is to really take some time out, evaluate where they are in their career and perhaps look at changing jobs.

    The route cause could be the employer not caring or not being aware of the stress and pressure they have been putting your family member under - either way, this is poor management IMO (unless all the employees have been gleefully carrying on without expressing the pressure and stress they were under - even then, there are always signs to look out for). This is unlikely to change any time soon.

    It might be the case that going back to the employer is never going to be an option and therefore the least said, soonest mended type approach might help - removing themselves from the environment quickly, could save money, stress, time and other problems down the line.

    The notice period will depend on what is in the contract re garden leave etc. It might be that you could negotiate gardening leave on full pay, rather than SSP+employer's rate (again, contract will confirm this).

    Their financial situation will determine how long they could take off but it sounds too me like a good break, time to reflect and forget about the current people, and start afresh.

    Whatever you decide, I hope it works out well for you all.
     
    Posted: Sep 19, 2018 By: Stas Lawicki Member since: Nov 14, 2017
    #7
  8. dan19900

    dan19900 UKBF Regular Free Member

    220 34
    Probably best to go private, it's not all that expensive and you'll be waiting months on the NHS. Sounds like they're psychotic to be honest, probably bipolar but you'll have to get someone who knows what they're talking about to diagnose them (not a gp).
     
    Posted: Sep 19, 2018 By: dan19900 Member since: Mar 2, 2018
    #8
  9. Inva

    Inva UKBF Regular Free Member

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    I suggest to quit immediately if feasible. Best to pay a small amount than get sick.
     
    Posted: Sep 19, 2018 By: Inva Member since: Aug 10, 2018
    #9
  10. Newchodge

    Newchodge UKBF Big Shot Free Member

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    Sorry I don't understand either sentence.
     
    Posted: Sep 19, 2018 By: Newchodge Member since: Nov 8, 2012
    #10
  11. Inva

    Inva UKBF Regular Free Member

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    OP said the person can't leave the job because they must give 3 months notice. So i said leave anyway and pay damages if it's possible.
     
    Posted: Sep 19, 2018 By: Inva Member since: Aug 10, 2018
    #11
  12. Newchodge

    Newchodge UKBF Big Shot Free Member

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    That is appalling advice. The individual is ill. Making a decision about their employment when they are n ot fit to do so is very stupid. Paying damages to make a stupid decision is even worse.
     
    Posted: Sep 19, 2018 By: Newchodge Member since: Nov 8, 2012
    #12
  13. Paul Norman

    Paul Norman UKBF Ace Free Member

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    The reality of the situation is that this person is ill, and by the sounds of it fairly seriously so.

    That means the situation ought to be dealt with from that perspective - the company will have procedures to deal with persons who are not well. There is, then, a matter as to what extent that illness has happened due to the actions of the employer. There are legal remedies for that - they will be better explained by Cyndy.

    But also, the family are not going to be the ones who discover the cure by simply telling the person that things are not as they - in their illness - perceive. They need proper, professional help with their illness.
     
    Posted: Sep 19, 2018 By: Paul Norman Member since: Apr 8, 2010
    #13
  14. Inva

    Inva UKBF Regular Free Member

    333 51
    The way i understood it is that this person is demonstrating these symptoms as a result of work-related stress. Maybe i am "stupid" but I don't see how continuing to work in that environment helps them. Maybe you can tell us.
     
    Posted: Sep 19, 2018 By: Inva Member since: Aug 10, 2018
    #14
  15. Jasondb

    Jasondb UKBF Regular Free Member

    137 8
    Normally a good doctor would give agree to sign them off for a couple of weeks with some medication. If too busy then perhaps a private doctor might be the answer.
    This would make it worse for the company and if the doctor suggests working half days for another two weeks then the company might be forced to hire another staff member. Not a nice situation to be in.
     
    Posted: Sep 19, 2018 By: Jasondb Member since: Apr 23, 2018
    #15
  16. Mr D

    Mr D UKBF Legend Free Member

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    So normally you would expect them to be signed off work ill. As they have done.
     
    Posted: Sep 19, 2018 By: Mr D Member since: Feb 12, 2017
    #16
  17. Newchodge

    Newchodge UKBF Big Shot Free Member

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    It is absolutely simple. THEY ARE NOT WORKING they are off sick. They need professional help to deal with their ill health before they even think about what their future employment should look like.
     
    Posted: Sep 20, 2018 By: Newchodge Member since: Nov 8, 2012
    #17
  18. Tracy Arkwright

    Tracy Arkwright UKBF Contributor Free Member

    30 0
    Rescue spray is a natural substance that is good for stress
     
    Posted: Sep 20, 2018 By: Tracy Arkwright Member since: Jun 25, 2018
    #18
  19. Inva

    Inva UKBF Regular Free Member

    333 51
    Well that's your opinion. My opinion is that they should get professional help AND leave this job which sounds like it would stress out anyone, let alone someone who may be susceptible to such a thing. I wonder if you are more worried about the person's health or the person's job.
     
    Posted: Sep 20, 2018 By: Inva Member since: Aug 10, 2018
    #19
  20. Newchodge

    Newchodge UKBF Big Shot Free Member

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    I am more worried about the person.
     
    Posted: Sep 20, 2018 By: Newchodge Member since: Nov 8, 2012
    #20