Paid flight for companion, now she wont come

[travestyeight]

I am a 45 year old single woman and don't want to travel in Asia alone.
I have family traveling with me for the 1st month, I needed a companion for month 2 in Bali because I like to get off the beaten track and wander off with strange people and incase I get ill or have an accident and need someone too sort things out.

I offered to pay flights and £500 towards expenses to someone I had know for 20 odd years (not a stranger).
3 days after I bought the flight tickets my 'friend' changed her mind, for no good reason.
She didn't realise the tickets wouldnt be transferable, neither did I.
I have checked this situation, the flights are completely non transferable or refundable but it may be possible to reclaim airport tax.

Despite this revelation, my friend wont change her mind or re imburse my money which means I cannot afford to buy more tickets to offer the position to someone else.
Without this money, I am stuck without a traveling companion .
If I dont get this money from her soon, replacement tickets will become very expensive. Then there's the problem of finding someone to take her place at short notice of course.
What I want to know is - where would I stand legally with regard to suing for at least the cost of the tickets I bought for her?

 

Not a chance I am afraid without a written agreement.

Earl

 

[travestyeight]

Thank you for replying.
Do you mean something in writing which shows such an agreement exists?
I have email conversations.

 

[JElder]

Did your conversations include something along the lines of 'Of course, if you are unable to come for any reason, you agree to repay me the cost of the ticket in full, or the cost of transferring the ticket to another name'

Otherwise, the ticket was bought for her, and she was not made aware of any possibly liabilities, it could be very hard to make any kind of claim.

 

[S-Marketing]

Its nothing more than an agreement between friends with no intention to create legal relations. You dont stand a chance getting anywhere legally.

 

[paulears]

If you value your friendship then there's little you can do. You could no doubt sue her, but is it really worth it? This happens with holidays all the time. You trusted her enough to take her as a companion, so what happened? She either has a very valid reason for not going, or perhaps she didn't really want to in the first place - whatever reason, if she's willing to let you down, then the friendship's bust!

You're either going to have to travel alone, or pay for somebody else - there aren't really any other options. Frankly the legal route will be unpleasant. The court will no doubt ask you why you didn't pay for the change itinerary option, which is available on all the big carriers. The NO CHANGE policy saves you a few pounds but they apply it rigidly. As you could have taken precautions, but chose not to, I would expect the court to take this into account. You took the gamble, it went wrong. You might not even win, but even if you did, they might decide she doesn't have to pay all of it.

Write it off to experience - you've still got the expenses, just lost the flight money. If you want to go off into the wild, your UK expenses might well be enough for a proper guide, recommended by your hotel or other agency. I've known people get good native speakers who are trustworthy in Egypt for just a few pounds a day.

 

[travestyeight]

A real thank you to everyone who's posted.
I use Air Asia. I wasn't aware of any options for changed itinery and so forth, so now I am the wiser.
Her reason for canceling was simply that she'd realised she wouldn't like to spend 4 weeks with the same person not being entirely free to do exactly as she wanted, and that if she were to go abroad, she would rather go somewhere of her own choosing.
Thank you for the suggestion to pay for a guide!
I'ts taken a load of my mind, funny I didnt think of that! I was thinking of having to come home early, now I don't have to!

 

[harryboon]

Well I think your friend needs to offer you some of the money back - legally you have nothing to stand on sadly - but good luck and I hope you have a great trip

 

Well I think your friend needs to offer you some of the money back - legally you have nothing to stand on sadly - but good luck and I hope you have a great trip

Well as said the friend did not realise the ticket is not transferable.( I mean what logical reason could an airline have for this ?)

Of course she could lend her passport to another lookalike friend.

There is a possibility that you would be paid out by the insurance if your friend had to cancell on medical grounds I.E a psycological fear of flying,or a fear of you.

Earl

 

[harryboon]

I guess so - are non-transferable uncommon? I can't ever remember being able to change the persons name etc, well not without a fee?

Well as said the friend did not realise the ticket is not transferable.( I mean what logical reason could an airline have for this ?)

Of course she could lend her passport to another lookalike friend.

There is a possibility that you would be paid out by the insurance if your friend had to cancell on medical grounds I.E a psycological fear of flying,or a fear of you.

Earl

 

[travestyeight]

Fortunately, I have just noticed that the return ticket is not a promo ticket.
This means that once I figure out the procedure and pay £30 , I can get it transfered to another person.
Unfortunately, the ticket prices on AA website have risen by £80 already!

 

[travestyeight]

By the way, do you have any legal qualifications?

 

[nigelessence]

You say she is a friend and have known her for 20 years, but you considered suing her?

Somehow I understand why she didn't want to be with you. Too much of a good thing.

Get real.

 

[travestyeight]

It's more the point that her actions ended our friendship.

 

[travestyeight]

You say she is a friend and have known her for 20 years, but you considered suing her?

Somehow I understand why she didn't want to be with you. Too much of a good thing.

Get real.

Please read the site rules regarding being respectful and thoughtful in your posts.

 

[harryboon]

I think it's a shame that a 20 year relationship has ended because of a ticket, is there no way to sort this situation out without falling out over it?

It's more the point that her actions ended our friendship.

 

[Cornish Steve]

Since I fly a lot, I've noticed how more and more airline tickets have restrictions. Frankly, it's a way for the airlines to maintain their margins without raising ticket prices (which intense competition prevents). Basically, if you want refundable and/or transferable tickets, you pay more for them. Also, there's always the option of purchasing insurance on the tickets, which would probably cover a situation like this (it won't help now, but it's a consideration for the future).

The other area where they get you is charging for checked luggage. It used to be free. Nowadays, I expect to pay at least $25 per bag, and one airline is charging $100 for a second checked bag. Watch out for this. (Thankfully, because I'm an elite flier with one particular airline - I have almost 4 million miles with them - they waive those charges for me.)

Which brings me to my other point: Do you have any kind of privilege with the airline? If so, they may bend the rules for you. I get preferential treatment all the time because of this.

By the way, one of my sons spent a term in Singapore, and he flew all over the place. Several discount airlines have started up, one based in Australia I believe, and you can get one-way tickets for as low as $10 (around 7 pounds). When he stayed in various countries, he rarely paid more than $5/night.

Also, when booking a hotel in the region, do it through a local agent. I stayed once at the Amari Watergate, a nice hotel in the centre of Bangkok, and paid $120/night (an excellent rate, I thought, for such a good hotel). A colleague booked his room through a local agent, paying cash when he arrived, for $35/night. For goodness sakes, the breakfast alone there (which is fabulous) was worth more than that! (I'll send you a PM with the name of the agent he used, just in case they are still there and do business in Indonesia.)

 

[travestyeight]

I think it's a shame that a 20 year relationship has ended because of a ticket, is there no way to sort this situation out without falling out over it?

I have pretty much given someone I have known for 20 years a 4 week paid holiday on arguably the most beautiful island in the world.
This is something she would have trouble getting for herself as she has a low wage. I think the last holiday she had was over 10 years ago.

In return she has left me to either wander unsafely in a foreign country or loose another 4 weeks of my holiday, and pay out more money to buy myself new return tickets.
Aside from the safety aspect, I dont really want to be on my own, I wanted to have someone share the experience with me..
She hasnt offered any reparation at all, nada, not even offered to figure out if/how any refund can be sought from the Airline. She hasn't even appologised really, and is now ignoring my emails .
I am in shock, I had no idea this person was capable of such behaviour.
I can't be friends with someone who behaves like this.
Not only am I in shock, but I am grieving our lost friendship.
The only thing that would change this situation would be if she suddenly realised that what she was doing was unthinkable, offered sincere appologies and either changed her mind about not coming or offered to pay something towards enabling another companion to replace her.
I just don't understand it, how could her feelings have changed so much in three days? What can be so bad about a free 4 week paid holiday in bali?

 

I have pretty much given someone I have known for 20 years a 4 week paid holiday on arguably the most beautiful island in the world.
This is something she would have trouble getting for herself as she has a low wage. I think the last holiday she had was over 10 years ago.

In return she has left me to either wander unsafely in a foreign country or loose another 4 weeks of my holiday, and pay out more money to buy myself new return tickets.
Aside from the safety aspect, I dont really want to be on my own, I wanted to have someone share the experience with me..
She hasnt offered any reparation at all, nada, not even offered to figure out if/how any refund can be sought from the Airline. She hasn't even appologised really, and is now ignoring my emails .
I am in shock, I had no idea this person was capable of such behaviour.
I can't be friends with someone who behaves like this.
Not only am I in shock, but I am grieving our lost friendship.
The only thing that would change this situation would be if she suddenly realised that what she was doing was unthinkable, offered sincere appologies and either changed her mind about not coming or offered to pay something towards enabling another companion to replace her.
I just don't understand it, how could her feelings have changed so much in three days? What can be so bad about a free 4 week paid holiday in bali?

Read your own post and I think you will find its not the free holiday thats a problem for her.


Why don't you find a boyfriend to go with you then you may feel even safer.?

As others have said shame about losing the friendship but it happens for a reason.

Earl

 

[harryboon]

Also I know there are sites which specialise in singles holiday maybe you could find someone who is willing to share costs etc.

Turn a negative into a positive

Why don't you find a boyfriend to go with you then you may feel even safer.?

As others have said shame about losing the friendship but it happens for a reason.

Earl

 

[travestyeight]

Read your own post and I think you will find its not the free holiday thats a problem for her.


Why don't you find a boyfriend to go with you then you may feel even safer.?

As others have said shame about losing the friendship but it happens for a reason.

Earl

Those of my friends (M or F) who could afford to pay to come with me have 9-5 jobs and cannot take the time off in March.

 

[travestyeight]

Im also sure that there is a rule that says that this is a forum for business owners and managers, not just somewhere to come and moan about your ex friends

Well, I am a business owner, and I didn't come here to moan about my ex friends.

 

What part of your thread relates to a business question:|

This is the legal forum and the lady asked a question relating to the law in her OP.

What part of that do you not understand.?

Earl

 

[travestyeight]

You strike me as the kind of person who would never let her forget that you paid for her, or never fail to tell everyone else that you have paid.
Her holiday(if you can call it that) would be spent going where you want to go and doing what you want to do.
If this is such a once in a lifetime chance:| then why would she not want to go, in fact why did none of your other "friends" wish to go :|

Gosh, I must sound like an absolute control freak, but honestly, thats just not me!
Ok, to elaborate; my son paid for her to come with me because he was concerned for my safety.
It was money he was going to give me for something else but we agreed that we use it for this instead.
I do have other friends who would want to go, but she has denied them of of the opportunity because the ticket in none transferable.
Those of my friends who could afford to pay for themselves have 9-5 jobs and wont be available to come in march due to work commitments.
I understand that you, or anyone, would think that the only logical reason for someone to do this would be because I must be a terrible or difficult person, but she has known me for over 20 years so your reasoning doesnt make sense, does it?
I have made it quite clear to her that I do not expect her to follow me around or give up her free will. I would expect that at a time convenient to both of us, she will come with me should I want to go visiting remote villages or go out late at night.
I also expect that we would be there for each other in the case of emergency situations, naturally.
She could spend a lot of time on her own if she wanted to.

 

[travestyeight]

Its the legal section of a business forum, what part of that do you not understand

Sorry. Technically you're quite right.
I didn't quite realise!
....but I'm here now, and it would be rude of me to disappear I think.

 

[nigelessence]

Money can't buy love, but it can sure destroy love.

Or

Never mix money and friendship, never mix business and pleasure.

That's all folks.

I gave the above not a micro second of thought.

I try to be a fool at least once a day so I don't get above myself.

 

[harryboon]

Don't worry about it no-one really minds at all - most of us are friendly

Sorry. Technically you're quite right.
I didn't quite realise!
....but I'm here now, and it would be rude of me to disappear I think.

 

[Cornish Steve]

Money can't buy love, but it can sure destroy love.

But it doesn't have to. It's just money, as they say.

Personally, I'd just drop the matter. These things happen. The person didn't mean to hurt the OP; it's just that, on reflection, she didn't want to go. So be it. It's not worth losing a friendship over this. Have a blast in Asia, and come home with all the friends you had before - and some new ones.

 

[Consistency]

20 years is a very long friendship. Maybe after time you can sort things out, time is a great healer and she maybe meant you no harm but I can understand your frustration. I wish the both of you good luck.

 

[nigelessence]

My words may have been a bit blunt or harsh, but I was just trying to jolt some reality into this. I agree with the last couple of posters. Time is a great healer. You've had a tiff. Now work on rebuilding your friendship. And make sure you listen to your friend and bite your tongue until it bleads

 

[baggins]

Hello travestyeight - (hope I got your name right ! ). I'd like to tell you of my recent experience in Sri Lanka in the hope it will offer you some reassurance about travelling alone. It can be brilliant !!!

I'm a 50 year old single female and business owner. 2 years ago, I decided to escape a dull Scottish January and treat myself to a trip of a lifetime, travelling somewhere warm, and also on the lookout for interesting stock for one of my shops. India was my first choice but on further research and through chatting with friends, decided it would be too hectic and stressful for a first time alone travelling in Asia - I'd always traveled with my former husband and children previously. So after doing some more research, settled on Sri Lanka and with the help of travelers from trip advisor ( God bless it ! ), built a month long itinery , including 10 days hire of a car with driver / guide to show me round some major sites.

The night before leaving, I was so apprehensive, sitting alone in an airport hotel room, I cried for ages and seriously considered not going. However - I got a grip, boarded the plane in the morning and had the most amazing time imaginable. I am so glad I journeyed alone as it gave me the chance to meet some brilliant people along the way, which I may not have done had I been travelling with someone else or a group - couples and other single travellers seemed intent to take me under their kindly wings and I had an absolute ball ! Nothing bad happened - I was sensible and didn't go to remote places alone - hence the car and driver at first so we could do that together - and if I wanted to go out at night, it would be with the lovely people met at the various hotels I stayed at, but quite, honestly, there was enough experiences to be had alone during the day- I took buses and trains and the local people were so kind and helpful - by nightfall, I was quite content mostly to relax at my hotel with a cool drink and a good book. I did not experience a moment's worry or trouble. There seems to be a largely unsupportable belief that 'abroad ' is some how less safe than 'at home' - I have never seen a reason to believe so . If I wouldn't walk around Glasgow , Venice, London late at night , why would I anywhere else ? I am intrigued as to why you want to go out late at night - the sort of places that are open then in Thailand are not the sort of places I could imagine would be of interest to a middle aged businesswoman ??? Boring, boring - you'd be better off in your hotel bar or restaraunt planning the next days activities and socialising - plenty of time to converse with locals during the day.

My advice to you would be to really research what you want to do on your trip , and where ,before you go,have a health check, the correct vaccinations/ malaria pills and correct type of health insurance, consider hiring a car and driver for what you may feel would be the less safe trips ( if indeed there are any ! ) and believe that you will meet lots of great travelling companions to go about with once you're out there - I met up with 3 delightful widows in their 60's and 70's - what fun and interesting times we had together. There are a lot of single female travelers of our age out there. You will feel a real sense of accomplishment on your return, I promise.

I would now rather go for long trips by myself than with a companion- so much more freedom, and am headed to Egypt to see all the major sites plus do a little snorkelling for a month this Jan / Feb - and can't wait.

Have a brilliant time and do let me know how you get on. If I can help, advise or encourage at all, please PM me. Happy travelling ! S