My life is over. Starting again from scratch!

[secondtimelucky]

Warning – Long, possible tear-jerker/side-splitter

Hey guys,

Well I don’t know where to start really but the long and short of my situation is that my business exploded a short while ago and took pretty much everything that was good in my life along with it. I had a great mail-order business which I started at university and ran successfully for about 9 years and then disaster struck. I bit off more than I could chew and between not getting paid by my biggest customer and a few others and mistakes on my part, I was forced into a corner and had to sell the business to a supplier (the business is still going strong but sadly not with me in it any more). So here I am a short while on and I am trying to start my life again and hopefully get it right this time.

In my old life I had everything I had always day-dreamed of having after university; big house on the coast, great social life and friends, great business I built from scratch and was very proud of, cool car, so many windows of opportunity and it looked like a great future ahead of me. Everyone welcomed me with open arms back then – suppliers, banks, happy customers. It makes me sick thinking about how I messed it up. Now I’m 30 and broke, car taken away, living with parents (that’s when you know you’ve really failed!) and quite depressed. I’ve failed at life I guess. I have £2 in my bank account, my friends live miles away and I don’t even get a response from those junior admin jobs I apply to. Pathetic! My family have been as supportive as they can be and I’m really thankful they offered to take me back in until I have mended my wings and am ready to fly again. I won’t lie I do feel sorry for myself but I desperately want to get back on my feet and I know the only way that’s going to happen is through hard work, maybe a little luck and hopefully some inspiration from within like I used to have on a daily basis when things were going great.

The main difficulty I’m having at the moment is getting into a full-time job. Even armed with a degree in Business & Management and all my practical business experience, most of the jobs require specific qualifications and previous experience working in that exact job, whatever it may be. I’ve been sending off my CV here there and everywhere; canvassing nearby towns, recruitment agencies, online job portals and in the papers, going to interviews, but so far nothing. Every job vacancy is ridiculously oversubscribed. As an example I went for a software renewals job recently in a nearby city that had over 200 applications and one in my local (small) town that had 106 (I got down to the last 2 in that one and lost out to someone with fluent French, bah!).

I know I will eventually find something, but it’s this twiddling my thumbs waiting in between applying for everything that really gets me down. I’m not used to relying on anyone else and I want to save up and get my own place so I’m not a burden on my folks for any longer than necessary. I have a little brother and sister here too and as much as I love them to bits and it’s great seeing so much of the family it’s not my life and I need to get going again.

So, the reason I’m posting this here is partly cathartic I guess but mainly because I have found something I’d like to do while looking for work. I have an idea for a mini-business which I’d like to share with you. It won’t cost much to get started and it could actually turn into something decent which I can continue part-time when I get a proper job. I want to buy a piece of software, which you can see at the following link www facemorpher dot com and offer potential customers to make animated gifs, short movies for people to use as their forum avatars, text to family/friends for fun or even for nostalgia; seeing a person through the years of their life in a series of morphing photos. The software costs £29.27 (inc vat), a domain from GoDaddy for about £7 and hosting from Hostgator at £6. I wondered whether anyone would sponsor me or offer me any work you have that I could do to earn this money and get started. I’d be happy to work a whole day and get something you need done if it means earning this money. As I mentioned I have a degree in Business & Management and about 9 years practical experience running my own business. I’m quite quick at typing, very accurate, working knowledge of Excel and Word and can also write creatively if needed. I have lots of experience marketing, both written and verbal. I can help write reports and plans and answer how to’s on pretty much everything regarding the basic set up and running of a business. So if you’re feeling lazy this weekend or any of your work doesn't look too appetising just give me a shout and I’ll gladly get it done for you! Feel free to PM me too. I'd really appreciate any work.

Look forward to your replies,
Toby


P.S. I've been a member of the forums for years but it's been a while since I posted and I couldn't find my login details.

 

[Techy]

Toby,

Really sorry to read about your situation. Your life isn't over mate your only 30.

Would like to help you out and if you live close enough to me, I would be willing to put in a few bob to get something going.

Don't see much money in your new plan but don't fully understand it either.

Could you let me know where your from and if close enough, I could also spend some time giving you a few ideas I never get round to.

 

[secondtimelucky]

Hi Techy,

Thanks for your reply and words of encouragement. I live in Hertfordshire. I've sent you a PM. Got to sleep now so I'll check back in the morning.

Toby

 

[The Panda]

Hi Toby.
Quite a heart stopping post.
Don’t despair.
I hit a similar position recently. In fact last week.
Its a long story but in a nut shell, I worked for a national blinds company for 14 years. They were very good in the early years but got taken over around 5 years ago and things went drastically down hill. Share holders screwing the customers and the agents, quality going down hill and so on.
My income dwindled from around £1500 a week to almost nil in the last 2 years.
So I set up my own business. It was not easy building it up whilst still with them. Last week I got shut of them and am now starting to get back to somewhere near what I earned 10 years ago and far happier and I wont hide the fact that I got very depressed.
It was hard but I had to do it. You are only 30 and more than likely single with no kids.
I am married with 2 kids and a mortgage and also nearly 50 and suffered a stroke 2 years ago.
The thing is, if I can do it with all the things I have holding me back then a young guy like yourself can and will do it. We all have knock backs in our lives and it wont be your last.
Pick yourself up. Don’t rely on any one to help you but yourself and family.
You will get that job eventually and more importantly, keep on aiming for the dream.
You sound like an intelligent guy. Everything always works out in the end.
Just think back about how many times you have worried over something only to find 6 months later it is a thing of the past and is no longer a worry. That statement applies to every single one of us. We all do it and we all get past it one way or another.
Best of luck.

 

[Mister B]

Good of people to reply but pardon my cynicism.

Are you really trying to say that you have to come on here to try and raise the £43 to get started? Although your post is touching, it's no different to a lot of other people.

I'm sure that you should be able to borrow such an amount of friends and family.

Mister B

 

[GeorgeM]

The main difficulty I'm having at the moment is getting into a full-time job. Even armed with a degree in Business & Management and all my practical business experience, most of the jobs require specific qualifications and previous experience working in that exact job

You are in a tough corner at the moment. But if you have no significant debts, then at least your in a good position to start again.

I would suggest keep your focus on getting a job for now. You are well qualified and have the experience of running your own business - although big employers prefer square pegs in square holes despite what they say.

Why not try some looking for some freelance / commission-only work locally to get you started ?

Good luck with it.

Regards

 

[Upshot Media]

Hi,

Sorry to hear about your situation, I went through something similar a few years back and it can be hard to get going again, it be achieved with hard work and being smart. My situation was slightly different and I did not lose everything but took a significant cut in wages and was left with debt as a result, I might recover this and more as I am taking legal action against a third party, as a result of the actions they took, that aside, you can start again, your only 30 and there are lots of successful and rich people who only made there fortune later in life.

Can you expand on your skills and I'll keep you in mind if anything comes up work wise?

Regards
Stuart

 

[MH1]

I've failed at life I guess.

You are right, you are feeling sorry for yourself. If you did so well in the past I reckon you would be mad to work for someone else, get going on another idea, according to yourself you had tons of opportunities in the past and life was great, only the money situation has changed in reality, so simply get some money. Take some work temporary, sure you will find some soon and get a small pot and start again.

As Eric Calpton would say "Nobody knows you, when you're down and out"

 

[spigwell]

I lost everything myself earlier on this year, Or so I thought.
I posted a thread about it and gave an update a short while ago. I lost my house, cars, stock, bank accounts frozen etc etc etc.
There is one thing however I did not lose and that was the desire to succeed. I am still in the process of bouncing back but have the basis of a good business. It is as healthy as it ever was.
You cannot allow yourself the time to sit and feel sorry for yourself that will acheive nothing. The longer you allow yourself to fester in the pool of self pity then the harder it will be to bounce back.
As you know on these forums many a person will offer you great advice and point you in the right direction if you truely want to succeed and are willing to work hard at it. At the same time those same people would be reluctant to offer anything if they think it will fall on deaf ears or the person who is requesting help wants to put in the minimum effort.
£43 is not a great deal of money to restart a business and I am sure you could very easily raise that amount and start off again.
How come you are not suing those that owe you money?
Kind regards
Gary

Good Luck

.

 

[ExtinctFire]

ok i do (kinda) feel for you but...and please excuse the following cynicism..

Most people don't ever get the oppourtunity to have a house on the coast and a dream car, so while everyone here aspires to this you HAVE actually lived it.

A cheap half arsed avatar business doesnt seem to be the way to go. why don't you stick to what you know (mail order?) and learn from your mistakes?

Im actually thinking this could be a con?

 

[Geoff T]

Good of people to reply but pardon my cynicism.

Are you really trying to say that you have to come on here to try and raise the £43 to get started? Although your post is touching, it's no different to a lot of other people.

I'm sure that you should be able to borrow such an amount of friends and family.

Mister B

ok i do (kinda) feel for you but...and please excuse the following cynicism..

Most people don't ever get the oppourtunity to have a house on the coast and a dream car, so while everyone here aspires to this you HAVE actually lived it.

A cheap half arsed avatar business doesnt seem to be the way to go. why don't you stick to what you know (mail order?) and learn from your mistakes?

Im actually thinking this could be a con?

Option B guys, maybe OP doesn't want to ask even more of his family...after all, sounds like they're "keeping" him at the mo, and paying for the job applications too if I'm any judge!

(been there before myself - and TBH - am avoiding calling my dad myself!:redface

Pride is a sin as they say, but it DOES have it's points...

Toby - you'll get there mate - don't give up!

oh - BTW - call it £50, owe me summat...

 

[oldeagleeye]

I am afraid that I am a cynic too but lets give the OP the benefit of the doubt and some positive advice and I don't mean sympathy.

1) Many of us have all the goodies that success brings. What few of us had even in the good times was the leisure time to enjoy them which I am sure you found too.

What makes you think now then OP that you can enjoy the sheer luxury of doing nothing let alone indulge in self-pity.

2) You say you have a degree in business studies. What is a business. It isn't all a paper merry-go-round where you can sit on your backside all day. As for business idea. If all you can come up with is charging people for a few funny morphing pictures. Come on now. Your kids would probably do that for free and even then. In order to get this quite frankly silly little venture the best you can come up with is a begging letter for £43 quid.

No wonder you can't get a job. Let me tell you bro as an employer I know that you can spot losers a mile off.

That's the harsh news - but and it is a big but. As most of us that have been there know and you will find out - you couldn't slide a fag paper between the gap that makes for losing and winning. What you can do all to often is name it. It is called self-respect and you buddy have to get it back and I'll tell you how I did it.

On the Monday morning I collected my miserly dole money having already decided that I would spend half an hour in the shower - washing off the doom and gloom. I then got booted and suited and made sure that my tie was just so. Then came the important part. Did I go looking for a job - hell no. On this day I was going to forget getting a job and act like I all ready had one.

First stop was to nip into town to do some shopping just as I would have done when I had £100K in the bank. Now that is relevant. When I had a lot of money I had already bought all the goodies that I wanted. There was little left to spend my money on so when on the rare occasions that I did get into town I spent most of the time just browsing. So what was different now apart from that I didn't have a big house to go home too and an acquisitive wife who thought more of her possessions than either my son or me and then it struck me.

I wasn't a loser anymore. I was a winner and when I got back on my feet again I wouldn't have that leech on my back. Oh what joy. I almost skipped to the vendor selling real Italian coffee across the road.

A completely different frame of mind on my part brought a completely different response from that experienced for months before from shop keepers etc.
"Just half a pound of you best bangers if you please master butcher - only me now so back to the old bachelor boy days" I said with a smile. 65p handed over and accepted with an exchange of smiles and nod of lifes comon woes that couldn't have been bigger or more genuine that if I had just handed over a cheque for an £150,000 Aston Martin.

Next sop - Poundland where I spent £1 quid on a bucket which by sheer good fortune included a free sponge and car clean & shine. All needed as part of the master plan. Across the road an off-licence where I bought a bottle of my favourite white burgundy for what was then a whooping £10 quid consiering circumstances.

I didn't care I was rich again or on the way to becoming so but that didn't matter. I had got my self-esteem back and after a glorious meal that night I planned to get my self-respect as a business man the next morning too.

No business suit the next day however but the track suit and trainers were clean and tidy as I walked cheerfully into my doctors surgery. His almost new BMW outside filthy from the muddy unmade road outside his home.

Now I am not sure if it was the shock of seeing me beaming with confidence as I got him to whip a fiver out of his wallet or whether quick as a flash he added up the cost on anti-depressants I had demanded over the previous six months but I got the dosh. Then another 15 quid from his partners.

To cut a long story short within a month I was earning what amounted to £2,000 a month from an investment of £1. Within 3 months I had saved over £5K enough to exploit a business venture that I thought would prove even more profitable - and it did turn out to be so.

As for the car cleaning round. My son runs that now having upgraded to a jet wash he now earns over £1500 week and here a thought. During the school holdays he takes his kids with him. They love it.

Getting back on your feet then OP isn't rocket science. It doesn't take a huge investment or having to borrow money. You can do the same as I did and all the cost of some soap and a bucket. Not a lot to get your self-respect back too.

BTW the way. If you find that the bucket has a hole in it when you get home. Don't take it back. Get some more and as a sideline sell them to homeowners for a fiver each to put the Christmas tree in.

Best of luck OP.

 

[murdoch]

Hi OP,
seems like you need a change of scene to re-awaken your business drive.
Why not get out there, and do whatever jobs it takes (restaurant, paper rounds, deliveries etc) to get together 500 quid or so.

Then get a flight to china- any city there- and get inspired by the entrepreneurial nature of the people out there, and the bubbling energy and drive.
Get out of the parents house, and try 3-6 months in another place (working!) and get some business inspiration.

Then come back home 3-6 m later, and use your new drive and ideas to start a new business- perhaps mail order again, could be re-done?

Anyway, good luck, we all been there.

 

[Geoff T]

I am afraid that I am a cynic too

Best of luck OP.

first observation - you proved yourself there eagle eye! (think you saw the potential too)

TOTALLY worth the time you invested in that post, thanks and well done!

 

[asonda]

The one thing that really ecourages me to work is what I love and that is Cars.

So, I go and browse cars, I visit Merc, Audi, BMW, Range Rover, Aston Martin all the nicer brands, I sit in the new cars. (I am saving up for a brand new car) so have test driven different cars, when I feel my confidence waivering, getting a bit down, I go and look at some more dealerships. Might sound sad to some but within 10 years time, I'm going to have an Aston Martin on the driveway of a new house.

 

[Liam J. McKenzie]

I think oldeagleeye makes a very good point and example of how "Acting as if" can have a significant impact on your day to day life.

That means think, believe, feel and behave as if your demonstration is your current experience. Act as if you have a steady stream of income. Act as if you have the love of your life. Act as if you are in perfect health. Act as if you cannot fail. When you act as if, you are getting your whole mind, both conscious and subconscious, involved in the creative process. A demonstration will not occur until you have embodied the desire subconsciously.

It's all about state of mind.
Emotion creates motion.

A life coach would teach you the above and more.

Most successes of entrepreneurs start from the mind not the bank. Which is why the above is so important.

secondtimelucky, if you've worked for yourself for nearly a decade and grew accustomed to the lifestyle you created not to mention the independence you attained then you will struggle to work for someone else again, put simply.

Go back to basics i.e what you have experience in; the mail order side of things... drop-shipping perhaps to get you started?

As for the £40 you need why don't you just claim JSA to cover it?

 

[wevet]

Hi Techy,

Thanks for your reply and words of encouragement. I live in Hertfordshire. I've sent you a PM. Got to sleep now so I'll check back in the morning.

Toby

PM me with your tel no. I might have something in Herts

 

[adventurelife]

30 year old and life over Sorry but what a lot of bollo_ ks.

I take it you have your health and if that is the case you are lucky and you have had the experience of getting a business degree and running a business so far in your 30 years.

Many do not get to where you have been.

Life is better when you make changes. Now is a time for a change in yours, it happens to many in their 30's .

Get up and get at out and build a new life you do not know when it will end so best put a shift on.

The idea you have rings alarm bells in my head that you may not be thinking straight or this is a spam post. If not sorry but come on £40 odd quid and you have ran a businesses before:|

 

[Simon-M]

Now I am not sure if it was the shock of seeing me beaming with confidence as I got him to whip a fiver out of his wallet or whether quick as a flash he added up the cost on anti-depressants I had demanded over the previous six months but I got the dosh. Then another 15 quid from his partners.

To cut a long story short within a month I was earning what amounted to £2,000 a month from an investment of £1. Within 3 months I had saved over £5K enough to exploit a business venture that I thought would prove even more profitable - and it did turn out to be so.

So thats £5 quid a car. Let's say you sweated out 10 hours a day and 7 days a week for a month. Let's take a 31 day month as an example. So as the Americans say, let's do the MATH

£2000 / 31 days = £64.5 per day
£64.5 / 10 hours = £6.45 an hour (Just over 1 car per hour)

Hard work that and you would need a production line of cars to clean constantly to make that money.

Now the variables are important here too. You must assume to make that you get 31 days without rain. Let's face it. Who washes their car in the rain. Also you are limited by daylight because people don't tend to clean cars in the dark. So I'm assuming a glorious summer to hit those numbers.

At £5 a clean I don't think your numbers add up and based on that I'm out

 

[oldeagleeye]

Your get there Jamie. The main thing is to enjoy the journey because that is all part of the deal. It really annoys me then when I hear people say that the flight to Australia for example was so long they had to stop off in Hong Kong. Wow. How hard is that. A stopover staying in a luxury hotel right in the heart of one of the most exciting cities in the world. Doing a few boring manual jobs for a while is no hardship either. I looked on it as a terrific way to diet after I got my get up and go back of course. Now I thank god for it because I would have been dead now if I had carried on in the lifestyle associated with a successful finance broker.

Finally. Expanding on a point that Murdoch made. My mother never saw me as a successful businessman even at 50. To her I was still her boy - the one with big ideas. Parents then are not always helpful when the crash does come especially if they have always had what most of us would regard as boring jobs.

Moping about at home be it at parents or in a grot bedsit without any regime doesn't help either. I was fortunate to find a far better solution which I'll pass on and that is see if you can get a room and board at the YMCA. It's not all students these days. They get holidaymakers and visitors of all ages from overseas . The rooms are bigger than a bedsit with all the basics built in W/Robe - sink - bed - chair and desk. If you are a 'resident' they will also give you all the everyday comforts such as a tv - toaster - kettle etc. Microwaves also go cheap as residents move on.

Not bad for starters. Talking of which the food would do justice to a 5star restaurant. Breakfast with free fresh juices tea/ coffee and toast cereal etc. A choice of at least 5 main courses and of course at selection of sweets.

All this is included in the rent which is around £23 quid a night these days or some £80 quid a week and that includes electric an heating etc. The best thing of all about the YMCA however is that it gets you up and about.

The housekeepers see to that when they come to change the sheets every morning. Then it's a shower which are shared with others on the same floor but there was always at least one room empty while I was there.

After breakfast you are obviously free to do what you want and go anywhere. There is however usually a job club on site and a free telephone in the lobby to the main job centre. There will be a computer room open till 11pm and to round all this off - how about this to get the old heart a pumping again.

The YMCA orgainise free days out. In the 3 months I ws there I went on a barge trip and quite a few others to some interesting places. I declined an offer to go Abesling down the side of the building which is another regular event.

Whatever. The activities as is breakfast and the evening meal in the is a great way to make new friends which help boost the moral.

Most YMCA's also have a private gym with all the latest equipment and will enjoy considerable support from the outside community even at £500 quid a year. Membership to residents however is free.

Tough life at the bottom isn't it.

 

[secondtimelucky]

Hey it’s the OP again, I got up early today and read most of your posts then went for a run to clear out the cobwebs and have just finished reading the last post. I don’t know where to start but firstly I want to thank ‘The Panda’ and ‘Oldeagleeye’ for sharing your stories and experiences and offering some great advice on how to move on from all this. It makes me realise my position is not as bad as it has felt. I have my health, no mortgage, no kids and I’m single so I just need to get out there again and do whatever it takes to get back on track. I even bought a sponge in the town, found some turtle wax and cloths and am going to have a crack at cleaning some cars in my local area whilst I’m applying for jobs.

Thanks to everyone else who has responded so far with tips and ideas and putting things in perspective. I have been lucky for a long time that I had a great business to put all my effort into. For years I used to work pretty much every day including weekends from early hours into the evenings speaking to customers, meeting them, drumming up business and tinkering on my website. I’ve had various ups and downs, lost contracts at the last minute and been undercut on sales, but it’s always been part of a larger picture of increasing success. This is the first big knock I’ve had in my life thinking about it now, I guess this is why it comes as such a massive blow.

Anyway, to answer some of the questions posed I am supposed to pay £95 a week to my folks (they are not well-off and with 2 kids they can’t afford to let me stay here to free. I’m actually glad I have to pay something though so I’m not sponging off them to look after me) and I’ve had the JSA money for a couple of weeks but that’s only £65 so I’m already short £35 plus I need bus money to get to each interview which I can only claim back later.

I’d love to go back to working for myself, wouldn’t we all, but my brother who is a successful barrister told me I had to think of that as pie-in-the-sky for now until I have a dependable income again from any job. Getting some sort of drop-shipping agreement is a nice idea though, thanks for this, I’ll look into it more. Incidentally, I shared the house with my bro and he was none to pleased about the problems I had and caused which meant we had to sell the house so asking him for any more help is out of the question. I am very much on my own on this one.

I’ve thought about going abroad to work for a change of scenery and perspective but I have to clear a small amount of debt first before I could save for something like this. My main focus right now is getting back into any job and getting a small place to rent as living in a family home as a grown man is driving me crazy. It’s not a conducive environment to work in either as I’m sure some of you can attest to J

I probably should have waited and wrote my original post during the day rather than later at night but I’m glad I told my story and I hope others can benefit in some way from it or from the responses.

I wonder what would you do if you were in the same situation and had lost everything and had to start from scratch. Would you do anything differently? I’d love to hear anyone else’s stories or any more advice and thanks again for helping me to get some perspective.

[FONT=&quot]Toby[/FONT]

 

[movietub]

My life was over 2 years ago! I was running a rapidly expanding business as a sole trader, it folded (various reasons - some avaoidable) and I was personally bankrupt.

2 years later, new company doing well, just bought a gorgeous town house in Stamford with my girlfriend. I'm not on the mortgage myself but will be in 12 months time. I had around 20k to use as a deposit, another £10k would satisfy the banks natural concerns and negate their risk.

You are now a member of an extremely exclusive club. Everyone from dragons den milionaires to Simon Cowell are in there! Not to mention Alan Sugar who has qualified for membership sooo many times now. And Branson.

If I were you I would not seek employment, oher than something casual/part time to keep a little beer and rent money coming in.

You sound like the sort of person that would royally screw up any serious form of employment, you were proud to be your own boss - believe me, you cannot go back. I tried and upset myself and thoroughly pi**ed off the guy who gave me a well paid managment job...

Start a very small but expandable business from you parents house and use your experience of failure to make sure the format of the new business is much stronger. Once the formula is porven and perfect you can scale it up.

You know from experience how quickly a good business can expand, you could be back on cloud 9 withing 2 years. And this time bolstered by experience - potentially worth many times the value of all you have lost.

Good luck!

 

[oldeagleeye]

The only other bit of advice Toby is always carry a pack on condoms with you from now on - you never know when you might end up cleaning some bored housewives car. Second thoughts. Don't go there.

 

[spigwell]

Hey it’s the OP again, I got up early today and read most of your posts then went for a run to clear out the cobwebs and have just finished reading the last post. I don’t know where to start but firstly I want to thank ‘The Panda’ and ‘Oldeagleeye’ for sharing your stories and experiences and offering some great advice on how to move on from all this. It makes me realise my position is not as bad as it has felt. I have my health, no mortgage, no kids and I’m single so I just need to get out there again and do whatever it takes to get back on track. I even bought a sponge in the town, found some turtle wax and cloths and am going to have a crack at cleaning some cars in my local area whilst I’m applying for jobs.

Thanks to everyone else who has responded so far with tips and ideas and putting things in perspective. I have been lucky for a long time that I had a great business to put all my effort into. For years I used to work pretty much every day including weekends from early hours into the evenings speaking to customers, meeting them, drumming up business and tinkering on my website. I’ve had various ups and downs, lost contracts at the last minute and been undercut on sales, but it’s always been part of a larger picture of increasing success. This is the first big knock I’ve had in my life thinking about it now, I guess this is why it comes as such a massive blow.

Anyway, to answer some of the questions posed I am supposed to pay £95 a week to my folks (they are not well-off and with 2 kids they can’t afford to let me stay here to free. I’m actually glad I have to pay something though so I’m not sponging off them to look after me) and I’ve had the JSA money for a couple of weeks but that’s only £65 so I’m already short £35 plus I need bus money to get to each interview which I can only claim back later.

I’d love to go back to working for myself, wouldn’t we all, but my brother who is a successful barrister told me I had to think of that as pie-in-the-sky for now until I have a dependable income again from any job. Getting some sort of drop-shipping agreement is a nice idea though, thanks for this, I’ll look into it more. Incidentally, I shared the house with my bro and he was none to pleased about the problems I had and caused which meant we had to sell the house so asking him for any more help is out of the question. I am very much on my own on this one.

I’ve thought about going abroad to work for a change of scenery and perspective but I have to clear a small amount of debt first before I could save for something like this. My main focus right now is getting back into any job and getting a small place to rent as living in a family home as a grown man is driving me crazy. It’s not a conducive environment to work in either as I’m sure some of you can attest to J

I probably should have waited and wrote my original post during the day rather than later at night but I’m glad I told my story and I hope others can benefit in some way from it or from the responses.

I wonder what would you do if you were in the same situation and had lost everything and had to start from scratch. Would you do anything differently? I’d love to hear anyone else’s stories or any more advice and thanks again for helping me to get some perspective.

[FONT=&quot]Toby[/FONT]

Toby,
I was actually feeling for you for a while there in your thread starter post, With this post however, for some reason or other, it has lost it's credibility. I dont know why but when i read it I just started feeling that there are inconsistancies and some amazing coincidences as to why you cant do things or raise the £43 yourself. It is either that or there is something you are not telling us regarding the circumstances behind your downfall.

On a positive note though it is good to see that you managed to raise enough funds to buy yourself a sponge to start a car cleaning round. Already your luck is on the change as you have managed to find some turtlewax and some cloths, good on ya!. One very important thing to remember before you head out there into the car wash industry and that is to start looking for a bucket.

Gary

 

[secondtimelucky]

Toby,
I was actually feeling for you for a while there in your thread starter post, With this post however, for some reason or other, it has lost it's credibility. I dont know why but when i read it I just started feeling that there are inconsistancies and some amazing coincidences as to why you cant do things or raise the £43 yourself. It is either that or there is something you are not telling us regarding the circumstances behind your downfall.

On a positive note though it is good to see that you managed to raise enough funds to buy yourself a sponge to start a car cleaning round. Already your luck is on the change as you have managed to find some turtlewax and some cloths, good on ya!. One very important thing to remember before you head out there into the car wash industry and that is to start looking for a bucket.

Gary

Gary,

There is a saying that goes something like this "If you have nothing good to say, don't say anything" which I think applies here. I am amazed you could come away from my posts and be seeing 'inconsistencies and amazing coincidences'. Do you need to know the details of a train wreck to believe that it happened? What can I possibly gain from posting my story - to boast about my life being ruined, being broke and having to start again? Sure I am not going into detail, I don't want to relive the whole thing on a public forum. All I hoped for was some good advice about turning things round and thankfully there are many people that have been very positive in their responses. As for the sarcastic comment about the bucket, I already have one, what kind of childish jibe is that to make, really? God forbid anyone would ask you for empathy in difficult times.

[FONT=&quot]Toby[/FONT]

 

[movietub]

What can I possibly gain from posting my story - to boast about my life being ruined, being broke and having to start again? Sure I am not going into detail, I don’t want to relive the whole thing on a public forum. All I hoped for was some good advice about turning things round and thankfully there are many people that have been very positive in their responses. As for the sarcastic comment about the bucket, I already have one, what kind of childish jibe is that to make, really? God forbid anyone would ask you for empathy in difficult times.

[FONT=&quot]Toby[/FONT]

Technically you could gain the sponsorship you asked for in the initial post.

You can't blame people for being a tad suspicious when a sob story switches to a request for sponsorship part way through.

We do get that a lot on these forums you know!

 

[spigwell]

Gary,

There is a saying that goes something like this "If you have nothing good to say, don't say anything" which I think applies here. I am amazed you could come away from my posts and be seeing 'inconsistencies and amazing coincidences'. Do you need to know the details of a train wreck to believe that it happened? What can I possibly gain from posting my story - to boast about my life being ruined, being broke and having to start again? Sure I am not going into detail, I don't want to relive the whole thing on a public forum. All I hoped for was some good advice about turning things round and thankfully there are many people that have been very positive in their responses. As for the sarcastic comment about the bucket, I already have one, what kind of childish jibe is that to make, really? God forbid anyone would ask you for empathy in difficult times.

[FONT=&quot]Toby[/FONT]

My exact point about inconsistencies, someone in this very thread says they think it is a scam, what do you do/say? absolutely nothing
Someone else says this is possibly a spam once again you do/say nothing. I say your inconsistant and the preverbial appears to of hit the fan.

Because of this reaction i am even more convinced that your "story" just does not add up. There is plenty I could add at this stage but will refrain from doing so, If I am wrong about you then I will be happy to appologise.

Can I just ask you one final question, Why didnt your successful barrister brother give you any legal advice on how to collect the monies owed to you from these big companies?, afterall living together you must of discussed with him what was happening.

Regards
Gary

 

[secondtimelucky]

Technically you could gain the sponsorship you asked for in the initial post.

You can't blame people for being a tad suspicious when a sob story switches to a request for sponsorship part way through.

We do get that a lot on these forums you know!

Point taken but I did make the clarifying statement that I would be grateful for some work which someone doesn't necessarily need anyone else for but would be willing to offer.

 

[movietub]

Point taken but I did make the clarifying statement that I would be grateful for some work which someone doesn't necessarily need anyone else for but would be willing to offer.

The problem is that despite being genuine, you failed to predict the natural reaction people would have to the format of your post.

Remeber your post is being read by other people with businesses - all of whom can imagine what it would be like to lose it all, its quite an emotinal story from that point of view.

The problem comes when you mention sponsorship/employment. It basically appears that you have prepped someone emtionally in order to make them more receptive to your pleas further down the line!

I'm not saying that was your intent, I do not know. But it doesn't take a genius to predict that some people would read it that way!

 

[ScottB]

Hi Toby,

I run a careers advice website and looking for a variety of articles on aspects of job hunting and so on. If you are up for it, I'd be happy pay you to write a few for the site.

A few 500-800 word articles on your experience, good or bad, lessons learned and so on. They don't need to be ground breaking careers articles - I think there's a lot of benefit for other people just to talk about real experiences and perhaps what you might do differently.

If you're interested, PM some ideas for article topics and we'll take it from there. I'll offer £20 per article and possibly look at doing a handful of them.

Chin up though - I went through a stint of living with the parents about 5 years ago and totally understand what you're going through. Dealing with the job centre can be demoralising at best, but what I always tell people on my forums is that literally tomorrow can bring something better. I was unemployed for a year before I got a job with a SEO agency, and a year later I was self employed and haven't looked back since.

All the best,
Scott

 

[secondtimelucky]

My exact point about inconsistencies, someone in this very thread says they think it is a scam, what do you do/say? absolutely nothing
Someone else says this is possibly a spam once again you do/say nothing. I say your inconsistant and the preverbial appears to of hit the fan.

Because of this reaction i am even more convinced that your "story" just does not add up. There is plenty I could add at this stage but will refrain from doing so, If I am wrong about you then I will be happy to appologise.

Can I just ask you one final question, Why didnt your successful barrister brother give you any legal advice on how to collect the monies owed to you from these big companies?, afterall living together you must of discussed with him what was happening.

Regards
Gary

It looks like you are intent on derailing my thread so I’ll add a few more details, more for anyone else reading than anything. First of all, you mention people suggesting a scam and my lack of reply. Well first off I don’t spend the whole day waiting for each reply and then posting *proof* to make people believe something. To me, someone saying this to me when I know I’m speaking the truth is like the people that used to say to me when I was starting my business things like ‘it’ll never work’, or giving that cynical look as if to say “you’ll never do it”. My answer to them? I ignore them and don’t even bother telling them my hopes and dreams since they either don’t believe or don’t want to believe someone can achieve what they say they will. Think about the people that receive those trophies you sell, do you think they needed validation and other people to say they could do it? Sure we all want encouragement, but those who believe in themselves don’t really care if you think they can do it or not, they are going to do it under their own steam. Similarly, I don’t have to prove my story to you, you read it and either do believe or don’t believe, that is not for me to decide. If you would rather believe it’s some sort of scam then that’s fine. It doesn’t affect me as I am only looking for advice to get me back on track. Something like this doesn’t happen often in peoples lives and maybe I shouldn’t have posted it here. I consider my peers other business people though and reaching out for support to other people who have built their own futures is common sense.

Running a business on your own is an amazing but sometimes lonely endeavour. There is a limited number of people who are going through the same experiences and so I am more inclined to keep an open ear to people such as on this forum. That is all I would hope for.

My brother did offer me advice at the time but unfortunately the business ran out of cash whilst trying to sort things out. This is the main reason for the problems. As I mentioned, I made mistakes during all this, not being able to reach alternative solutions, maybe not seeing potential problems quickly enough. This was all a new experience for me at the time. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and perhaps I could have made changes or anticipated what would happen far enough in advance to prevent it. Unfortunately that was not the case so here I am.

Toby

 

[oldeagleeye]

Simon. Your REALLY ought to get your numbers right istead of trying to find some way to discredit me. You also seem to have forgot that I already had a great deal of business experience so I didn't have to waste time trying to get one customer in one road then spend and hour trying to find another street..

I set out from day one with the intention of targeting doctors and small busineess where image counts - ie doctors surgeries and estate agents can't be seen to be driving around in dirty scruffy cars. I would on average then get 4 -6 customers in one location and on a weekly basis.

Fair enough it took me a few days to get into the swing of things but after a few days I could do 4 cars an hour and the £5 was for a quick wash over. Once a month they got a polish too for an extra fiver. That was incidentally over 20 years ago.

Now you do the bloody numbers again buddy.

An average of £20 an hour. Not 8 hours a day but just 4 hrs and not 7 days but just 5 and I was pulling in £500 quid at week in cash - without working Saturdays which I did. That took me way over £2,000 a month.

Oh and by the way I have cleaned cars in the rain. The benefit of cleaning is not to get them wet. It is to get the mud and grime off to protect the paintwork.

Enough said I think unless you want me to look at your producivity and make some suggestions.

 

[secondtimelucky]

The problem is that despite being genuine, you failed to predict the natural reaction people would have to the format of your post.

Remeber your post is being read by other people with businesses - all of whom can imagine what it would be like to lose it all, its quite an emotinal story from that point of view.

The problem comes when you mention sponsorship/employment. It basically appears that you have prepped someone emtionally in order to make them more receptive to your pleas further down the line!

I'm not saying that was your intent, I do not know. But it doesn't take a genius to predict that some people would read it that way!

You're right, my post was worded badly. No more posting at 1 in the morning for me! I can assure everyone that I wasn't trying to write a suspense thriller with twists and turns to keep everyone second guessing the hero/villain or trying to solve a mystery. It's just me telling how I ruined my life in spectacular style!

 

[oldeagleeye]

Gary. Whether Toby's original post was a cry for help or just what he saw as a bleeding heart letter hoping to make money out of is now irrelevant. Most members gave him the benefit of the doubt which will encourage others to come forward and ask for advice. Lets not forget. Even when successful running your own business can be the loneliest job in the world. When things go wrong it can be completely soul destroying especially crying to friends. A strangers advice based on similar experience then can be a god send.

Lets not forget either. This thread has brought many of us together who have been through the mill and moved on and the advice that we have provided in our posts should provide hope and inspiration to others going through bad times.

Robert

Toby. forgot to say. Buy a £1 quid toilet brush for whizzing around the wheel trims.
There you go guys. Although having spent most of my business career in financial services and the electronics industry what I don't know about car cleaning ain't worth knowing.

 

[Matt1959]

good to see some positive stuff on this type of thread for a change
Just picking up on a point made by OEE, and thats the staying at the YMCA thing. When feeling down and negative, its people that lift you up (the right kind that is!) conversations usually stimulate whereas staring at 4 walls seriously don't! And, famillies, bless em can be not much better than those walls at times so I would concur - get out and meet with people rather than stick inside vegetating....

 

[Simon-M]

Enough said I think unless you want me to look at your producivity and make some suggestions.

Whose a grumpy old EagleEar then.

Sorry mate but your numbers really don't add up. £2000 20 years ago is still £2000 today and a fiver is a fiver. So not sure where the "It was 20 years ago came from". Like there never used to be 7 days in a week then

I like the idea about getting a bucket and cleaning cars. I recommended someone on here to do exactly that about a year ago. Cars or Windows you know. I'd do the same if I needed to so not discrediting you at all. I just don't think you can pull in £2000 a month cleaning cars at those prices. It was 20 years ago so perhaps the figures have been massaged over the years

Nice story though.

Simon

 

[MrsPWN]

Must admit I haven't read the whole thread and this may have been mentioned but have you thought about writing down your experiences, maybe an ebook? I am sure many people would be interested in a cautionary tale of hoe NOT to do it, call it "Don't do it my way" or some such thing

 

[oldeagleeye]

Bulll**** Simon. The numbers stack up and you haven't got a clue either about starting even a basic businness. Setting up a car cleaning round is one thing . Try to set up a window cleaning round and you would end up in hospital. It is a very tight comminity thet protect there own incomes. Now I would give this having a pop at me up if I were you because you are just making yourself look silly.

 

[MrsPWN]

Another idea stolen from a lad where I live Now our bins are being collected only once a fortnight he has a round cleaning them for a fiver a time. He does a deal with one person in the cul de sac to use their hose connection and gives them a free wash, and does everyones while they are all gathered together at the end of the road. I recon he clears £40 for less than an hours work, he just follows the binmen all week Maybe not glam but better money that cars!

 

[Simon-M]

Bulll**** Simon. The numbers stack up and you haven't got a clue either about starting even a basic businness.

Now you really are looking silly

Companies house, Number 05660431. Lat years turnover. Well in excess of £1,000,000. This years turnover on target to be well over £2,000,000. Not in your league I know but surely counts as a basic business

Don't be such an old grouch. I'm not taking a pop at you. Just your numbers

Simon