How not to take complaints personally?

[Morgan]

I rarely get any complaints and this week I've had two. Both complaints were customers not reading the website - one complained the delivery was too long (she got in half the time stated delivery would be - delivery time is very clearly stated on this item as it's personalised) and the other item was along similar lines. Of course I apologise, and in the case of the second item, have apologised to refund her (she has thrown said item away apparently).

How can I get a thicker skin. I really take these comments to heart when I get a not nice email. It just brings me down for the whole day as I take it so personally.

 

[roydmoorian]

The customer is ALWAYS RIGHT (to their face )

 

[Morgan]

The customer is ALWAYS RIGHT (to their face )

Yes I understand that hence why I apologise and in the second case have offered to refund. It still gets to me though, I will still spend the rest of the day thinking about it. I need to be more assertive or something.

 

[arcon5]

The fact you care so much is not a bad thing! Its the reason you will deliver in half the stated time and continue to do so, the reason you will probably bend over backwards to accomodate for a customers needs - probably one of the single most important reasons why in 5-10 years you will probably still be in business!

 

[Kernowman]

Only apologise when you are in the wrong, otherwise you will have it gnawing away at you for ages.

There seems to be a proliferation of petty complaints, obstreperous customers and silly squabbles since the recession started and I forecast it's going to get worse before it gets better.

Crack a bottle open, put on a comedy fillum and have a good belly laugh to take your mind off such trivialities

 

[crossdaz]

How can I get a thicker skin. I really take these comments to heart when I get a not nice email. It just brings me down for the whole day as I take it so personally.

It just means you are human - anyone who says they don't take things personally is either lying or is a psychopath.

 

[Scott-Copywriter]

I rarely get any complaints and this week I've had two. Both complaints were customers not reading the website - one complained the delivery was too long (she got in half the time stated delivery would be - delivery time is very clearly stated on this item as it's personalised) and the other item was along similar lines. Of course I apologise, and in the case of the second item, have apologised to refund her (she has thrown said item away apparently).

How can I get a thicker skin. I really take these comments to heart when I get a not nice email. It just brings me down for the whole day as I take it so personally.

There's a difference between taking complaints personally and being a push over.

The client/customer isn't always right. If one of them complains about delivery because they didn't bother reading your website properly, then there's absolutely no reason why you should give them a refund for nothing.

If the recipient of the second item wanted a refund, then you should have requested the item back as a return. If she no longer had it, then that's her problem and you should really stand your ground.

95% of people really are great, but there's the odd few who try it on or are otherwise mind bogglingly frustrating to deal with. You just need to stand your ground with these people (unless of course they have a genuine reason to request a refund).

That's one of the most important lessons in business I've learned over the past few years.

 

[Morgan]

Thanks guys. I have a glass of wine and am watching a comedy funnily enough. Great minds....

Yes it is because I do care, I take a lot of pride in getting things right so when I get a curt email complaining it bothers me. That's life I guess....

 

[Morgan]

There's a difference between taking complaints personally and being a push over.

The client/customer isn't always right. If one of them complains about delivery because they didn't bother reading your website properly, then there's absolutely no reason why you should give them a refund for nothing.

If the recipient of the second item wanted a refund, then you should have requested the item back as a return. If she no longer had it, then that's her problem and you should really stand your ground.

95% of people really are great, but there's the odd few who try it on or are otherwise mind bogglingly frustrating to deal with. You just need to stand your ground with these people (unless of course they have a genuine reason to request a refund).

That's one of the most important lessons in business I've learned over the past few years.

Thanks for that. I didn't offer refund for the "late" delivery, I explained delivery times and she got the product the next day.

Offered a refund on second item, it's under a fiver so thought it wasn't worth arguing over. Due to the nature of it, it was useless to me getting it back, I couldn't do anything else other than bin it as it had been personalised.

 

[Scott-Copywriter]

Thanks for that. I didn't offer refund for the "late" delivery, I explained delivery times and she got the product the next day.

Offered a refund on second item, it's under a fiver so thought it wasn't worth arguing over. Due to the nature of it, it was useless to me getting it back, I couldn't do anything else other than bin it as it had been personalised.

Maybe so, but in my opinion this sort of thing is all about principle. Look at printing companies for example. If a customer received 5000 flyers and then wanted a refund, should the business just say "well the flyers are useless to us, so just keep them and we'll give you your refund"?

There are a lot of people out there who will try it on even more once they know they can, and it's a reputation you don't want to have placed on your business. If a person has this kind of attitude, then there's nothing stopping them approaching their friends and saying "If you want this product for free, just buy it off this website, complain, demand a refund, and then pretend you've thrown the product away. It worked for me".

My view is that if I have so many really brilliant clients, then why on earth should I reward the unfairly negative clients by letting them have their way when they don't deserve it? If I'm going to give away anything nice, then it will be to those who have been brilliant to work for!

I'd like to just add here that I do take care of any genuine client concerns and do my best to make every client happy - just like every credible service provider should do. However, there are a rare few people who are just the polar opposite of everyone else. Almost every business owner has experienced such people at least once I'd imagine.

 

It just means you are human - anyone who says they don't take things personally is either lying or is a psychopath.

Oh great so I am a psychopath.:|

Why on earth would you take it personaly.

The customer feels aggrieved whether they are justified or not is irelevant.

Want to sell em more stuff.?

Then say sorry you feel so bad.( don't matter if they are a totall arse,you ain't gotta sleep with em )

Having said that in cases where I may have to have some face to face contact with obnoxious people one is likely to be told to p1ss off.

Earl

 

[Matt1959]

I'm crystal clear about this - if the complaining customer is in the right, I'm mortified, if they are in the wrong, I couldnt give a sh*t

 

[silvermusic]

Both complaints were customers not reading the website

To me that screams one thing. The fact that these items take longer than normal needs to be made clearer, and that doesn't mean size 48 point font in flashing red on you web page either.

As for developing a thicker skin, When I worked as an employee I'd got the thick skin down to a fine art, very little truly bothered me, I'd go outside have a ciggie, kick the wall a few times and forget it. When it's your own business it's damn near impossible not to take it personally. But you have to decide one of two things. Is it a justifiable complaint, is it something I could have done better, made clearer, did I make a mistake, if so correct it and learn from it. Or is the customer being unreasonable, stupid, is it the one in a thousand customer who's just a pain in the backside to everyone, if so forget it.

 

[Partnership Telecom]

Easy answer, spend a week doing cold call sales. After that you will realise that it isn't personal just a numbers game. Hope this helps.

 

[Matt1959]

I'm crystal clear about this - if the complaining customer is in the right, I'm mortified, if they are in the wrong, I couldnt give a sh*t

if they kick off as a result of a difficult to understand website, they are in the right IMO

 

[Morgan]

Believe me the website isn't the hard to understand, it is so clearly stated I can't tell you. In fact the second issue (not delivery related) the point the customer complained about is stated FIVE times in the short product description. I can't say it anymore. They are the one in a thousand, well two in a thousand but I still don't like to disappoint. Good points Scott Copy & Design, I'd never thought of it like that.

 

[Unicora]

I really haven’t had any since I started unicora which I am very happy about but as I used to be a restaurant manager in a 5* London hotel I am used to customers complaining about anything and everything, most of the time because they want something for free or discounted.

My way of dealing with complaints has always been simply be pleasant and make sure they feel like you care about their issue and will do all that’s in your power to remedy it in goodwill as they are a valued customer but unless you really have done something major don't admit a mistake just remedy it and move on.
You save face and the customer sees you value their custom. If you go apologetic when it’s not your fault customers will milk it.

 

[Chris34]

Yes I agree with Scott and just to add to his points I think you do need to be very business like in the way you deal with every customer. You need to have a very formal approach and your response to questions, queries and complaints should be the same to all customers. I find it makes the customer feel that they are dealing with a serious business and not somebody who is a bit weak and that approach alone seems to stop most of them trying it on.

To give you an example here is an example complaint followed by two different answers to the complaint, which one to you sounds more professional? And which one do you think will put an end to the complaint and which one do you think is the most likely to result in further ranting?

Customer - Hi, I ordered this product from you on the 4th October and I still haven't received it. This is not good enough, I bought the product as a present and I needed it for this weekend. If it's not here by tomorrow morning then you will have ruined the whole weekend for me and my little daughter who will be without her present on her birthday, what have you got to say for yourself?

Answer 1 - Hi, I'm really sorry that the present hasn't arrived yet, most of the time the parcels arrive within 3 days of sending them but it seems that you have been unlucky as its now been 4 days.

I feel awful that you haven't got the present yet, I can assure you that we work very very hard here to give the best possible service and we send out all of the parcels as quickly as possible. I'm really sorry about this, this is not how the service usually is, it normally takes about 3 days. Hopefully the parcel will turn up in the morning if it doesn't then please let us know.

Regards,


Chris.


Answer 2 - Hi, sorry to hear that your parcel hasn't arrived as quickly as you hoped. Our records show that you ordered the product on Monday 4th October via our standard 3-5 working day service. The product was despatched on Tuesday 5th October via Royal Mails 3-5 working day service. The expected arrival date of your parcel is anytime up to Tuesday 12th October.

We kindly suggest on future orders you order your products with sufficient time to allow for delivery as to avoid future disappointment.

Thank you for your custom it is much appreciated.

Regards,


Chris - Shop Manager - www.website name . co . uk

 

[Unicora]

Yes I agree with Scott and just to add to his points I think you do need to be very business like in the way you deal with every customer. You need to have a very formal approach and your response to questions, queries and complaints should be the same to all customers. I find it makes the customer feel that they are dealing with a serious business and not somebody who is a bit weak and that approach alone seems to stop most of them trying it on.

To give you an example here is an example complaint followed by two different answers to the complaint, which one to you sounds more professional? And which one do you think will put an end to the complaint and which one do you think is the most likely to result in further ranting?

Customer - Hi, I ordered this product from you on the 4th October and I still haven't received it. This is not good enough, I bought the product as a present and I needed it for this weekend. If it's not here by tomorrow morning then you will have ruined the whole weekend for me and my little daughter who will be without her present on her birthday, what have you got to say for yourself?

Answer 1 - Hi, I'm really sorry that the present hasn't arrived yet, most of the time the parcels arrive within 3 days of sending them but it seems that you have been unlucky as its now been 4 days.

I feel awful that you haven't got the present yet, I can assure you that we work very very hard here to give the best possible service and we send out all of the parcels as quickly as possible. I'm really sorry about this, this is not how the service usually is, it normally takes about 3 days. Hopefully the parcel will turn up in the morning if it doesn't then please let us know.

Regards,


Chris.


Answer 2 - Hi, sorry to hear that your parcel hasn't arrived as quickly as you hoped. Our records show that you ordered the product on Monday 4th October via our standard 3-5 working day service. The product was despatched on Tuesday 5th October via Royal Mails 3-5 working day service. The expected arrival date of your parcel is anytime up to Tuesday 12th October.

We kindly suggest on future orders you order your products with sufficient time to allow for delivery as to avoid future disappointment.

Thank you for your custom it is much appreciated.

Regards,


Chris - Shop Manager - www.website name . co . uk

Absolutly the best way, at the end of the day you are running a business, if you are a push over you will struggle in the business world.

 

[Matt1959]

To give you an example here is an example complaint followed by two different answers to the complaint, which one to you sounds more professional? And which one do you think will put an end to the complaint and which one do you think is the most likely to result in further ranting?

Customer - Hi, I ordered this product from you on the 4th October and I still haven't received it. This is not good enough, I bought the product as a present and I needed it for this weekend. If it's not here by tomorrow morning then you will have ruined the whole weekend for me and my little daughter who will be without her present on her birthday, what have you got to say for yourself?

Answer 1 - Hi, I'm really sorry that the present hasn't arrived yet, most of the time the parcels arrive within 3 days of sending them but it seems that you have been unlucky as its now been 4 days.

I feel awful that you haven't got the present yet, I can assure you that we work very very hard here to give the best possible service and we send out all of the parcels as quickly as possible. I'm really sorry about this, this is not how the service usually is, it normally takes about 3 days. Hopefully the parcel will turn up in the morning if it doesn't then please let us know.

Regards,


Chris.


Answer 2 - Hi, sorry to hear that your parcel hasn't arrived as quickly as you hoped. Our records show that you ordered the product on Monday 4th October via our standard 3-5 working day service. The product was despatched on Tuesday 5th October via Royal Mails 3-5 working day service. The expected arrival date of your parcel is anytime up to Tuesday 12th October.

We kindly suggest on future orders you order your products with sufficient time to allow for delivery as to avoid future disappointment.

Thank you for your custom it is much appreciated.

Regards,


Chris - Shop Manager - www.website name . co . uk

well I can tell you now, whereas I might be less inclined to rant at number 2 response, on recieving number 2 response I'd be unlikely to order from you again.....

Whats with the " we kindly suggest etc"

 

Yes I agree with Scott and just to add to his points I think you do need to be very business like in the way you deal with every customer. You need to have a very formal approach and your response to questions, queries and complaints should be the same to all customers. I find it makes the customer feel that they are dealing with a serious business and not somebody who is a bit weak and that approach alone seems to stop most of them trying it on.

To give you an example here is an example complaint followed by two different answers to the complaint, which one to you sounds more professional? And which one do you think will put an end to the complaint and which one do you think is the most likely to result in further ranting?

Customer - Hi, I ordered this product from you on the 4th October and I still haven't received it. This is not good enough, I bought the product as a present and I needed it for this weekend. If it's not here by tomorrow morning then you will have ruined the whole weekend for me and my little daughter who will be without her present on her birthday, what have you got to say for yourself?

Answer 1 - Hi, I'm really sorry that the present hasn't arrived yet, most of the time the parcels arrive within 3 days of sending them but it seems that you have been unlucky as its now been 4 days.

I feel awful that you haven't got the present yet, I can assure you that we work very very hard here to give the best possible service and we send out all of the parcels as quickly as possible. I'm really sorry about this, this is not how the service usually is, it normally takes about 3 days. Hopefully the parcel will turn up in the morning if it doesn't then please let us know.

Regards,


Chris.


Answer 2 - Hi, sorry to hear that your parcel hasn't arrived as quickly as you hoped. Our records show that you ordered the product on Monday 4th October via our standard 3-5 working day service. The product was despatched on Tuesday 5th October via Royal Mails 3-5 working day service. The expected arrival date of your parcel is anytime up to Tuesday 12th October.

We kindly suggest on future orders you order your products with sufficient time to allow for delivery as to avoid future disappointment.

Thank you for your custom it is much appreciated.

Regards,


Chris - Shop Manager - www.website name . co . uk

No2 just lost you a customer.

Telling customers off is not good PR.

Earl

 

[SusanP]

Don't worry about feeling bad and having a thin skin. If you got complaints all day and every day you would have a very thick skin indeed, so your response shows that few of your customers are dissatisfied.

You think delivery times are very clear on your website, but if two people found them difficult to understand, then maybe other people will in the future. Could you have a reminder at the payment stage about likely (or latest) date of delivery, either a last-minute sentence on your website or, if an order over the phone, one of your staff actually telling the customer? At least if the purchase is for a birthday in a day or so, the customer can choose whether to risk it or not, or pay for Special Delivery.

 

[Morgan]

Susan -they were different issues, they weren't both about delivery. I've been going about 3 years now and in that time I could count on one hand the number of problems. It's sods law I get 2 in one week lol.

Chris34 that's about spot on to the email I got from the customer regards the delivery complaint. Regards response I was somewhere in the middle of your 2 example responses. Actually this is what I said;

Dear X
Many thanks for your email, I understand your frustration in waiting for such a special item to arrive. There is no problem with the necklace but as stated on our website, all the jewellery is made to order so it all takes around 14 working days for delivery. Your necklace is actually going out today so will be with you in the next couple of days.
Best wishes.....



The second complaint was that the greetings card she had ordered had the message hand written in the card and not printed (as per the likes of Moonpig would). It is stated 5 times in the product description and again on checkout that the message will be hand written for that personal touch. Believe me I can't say it anymore times! Anyhow, this is my email to that customer

Dear X
I’m sorry to hear you are disappointed with your recent purchase from our shop. It does state that the message will be “hand written in the card”, I’m sorry you felt this wasn’t clear. I’d be happy to resend you another card that you can write in yourself, or I can refund you the cost of the card. Please let me know which you'd prefer........
Kind Regards


So I don't think I've been a pushover? It still gets to me though but I don't want that to be misconstrue as being 'weak' or letting customers walk all over me. I think both responses were business like?

Thanks all, very interesting hearing differing views on this.

 

[Chris34]

No2 just lost you a customer.

Telling customers off is not good PR.

Earl

The point is I couldn't really give a damn that, that particular customer comes back or not, all I am trying to do is shut the customer up and not get into an argument about it and something along the lines of answer 2 does the trick.

The way I see it if I bend over backwards the problem customers can take up around two hours of my time trying to deal with each one, that's time wasted that can be put to good use in getting new customers. Obviously it depends on the market you are in but for a product worth £5 then I don't see it worth the time and effort.

My strategy is to provide a product for a good price with a clear picture and clear description, as long as 99% of my customers are happy I couldn't care less about the 1% that are out to ruin somebodies day. I'd much rather spend my time opening another website selling another range of products making me more money.

I just see the internet as a numbers game. All my customers are just digits on a sheet. I certainly don't worry about anything and don't lose any sleep.

Maybe I'd be a good candidate for the new horlicks advert

Morgan - I think your responses were pretty much spot on however I wouldn't offer a refund for customer 2 at the first stage of communication as most people are going to take the refund so you could lose a customer and your money. Better to lose a customer and keep the money if you can

Just remember that there are lots of idiots in society and just let them be idiots but don't let them ruin your day. I just brush them aside as quickly as possible and move onto the next customer which is hopefully not another idiot .



Chris.

 

Just remember that there are lots of idiots in society and just let them be idiots but don't let them ruin your day.



Chris.

Don't think of them as idiots.

Think of them as quality prospects.

Agree with your point of view if the return and the percentage is to small. For a fiver I possible would also tell em to take a hike,but for a couple of grand I may be a tad more diplomatic.

Its all a balancing act.IMHO

Earl

 

[Chris34]

Its all a balancing act.IMHO

Earl

Quite agree, if your selling something that is £500 - £10,000 then you would need a different approach to the service than to somebody who has just spent £5. It really does depend on the market.


Chris.

 

[filtuh.com]

"I'm sorry you felt you had to complain and that your experience was less than perfect. Our delivery time is clearly stated, but in retrospect we feel that we could make it more prominent on the site and shall make this change soon. As a thank you for helping us to improve our site, please find enclosed a voucher for [original item amount + postage + a little bit extra]."

I think I'd be happy with that as a customer, and I'd be ok with doing that as a supplier.

 

[deniser]

In answer to your question, you get used to it over time.

I have one from last week though which still rankles - item was returned by someone's mother (immediately making me suspicious) who wrote a complaining letter on behalf of her daughter saying that an embellishment had fallen off a christening dress (they do, that's why they are sent with extras sometimes, you just sew or glue them back on), how awful it was and that they demanded an immediate refund. Got the item back and instead of being repairable by sewing the missing bit back on, it was completely trashed, ripped, muddy, looked stamped on, absolutely disgusting. I can only imagine they did that intentionally so I couldn't repair it. Or, if that's how they treated it I'm not surprised something fell off it. Item bought 4 months ago and obviously only needed the once and now they want a refund. Grrrrrrr.