About to have a diciplinary/first written warning

Discussion in 'Employment & HR' started by yeahyeahyeah, Feb 26, 2015.

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  1. STDFR33

    STDFR33 UKBF Legend

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    This thread reminded me a lot about my brother a few years ago.

    He’s never been academically gifted, but very good with his hands.

    When I left school, he was offered a job with my uncle doing building.

    He was happy with a rubbish wage, but after 6 months, working 12 hour shifts away from home was taking its toll. My uncles would praise him highly in front of family and friends on how fast he was picking things up, and how they could leave him to just crack on with jobs, and even gave the impression he was well paid (my dad bit his tongue because my brother was learning a trade).

    My brother later asked for a wage rise to the minimum wage, something that seemed a reasonable request! It was met by how he doesn’t deserve it, how lazy he is, etc.

    My brother stuck it out for another 6 months before another opportunity arose.

    It caused a huge family rift. What my dad was most annoyed at was that when my uncle’s left school, he gave them work in his removal business to help them out. He job with them 50/50 after taking money out for diesel. Now, my dad didn’t expect that for my brother, but thought at least the national minimum wage for a physically demanding job was not an excessive request.

    It wasn’t that they couldn’t afford to pay him more because their business was very profitable.

    My brother now works for the local council, good money and a decent pension and his job is very safe.

    Things have a way of working out.
     
    Posted: Aug 25, 2017 By: STDFR33 Member since: Aug 7, 2016
  2. yeahyeahyeah

    yeahyeahyeah UKBF Contributor

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    I guess the moral of the story is to never work for family.

    In my case, irritates me since I have basically a 5 year hole on my CV (can't get a reference without them disclosing 'disciplinary problems'). How did your brother deal with this?
     
    Posted: Aug 25, 2017 By: yeahyeahyeah Member since: Feb 26, 2015
  3. STDFR33

    STDFR33 UKBF Legend

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    The gap doesn't seem to be hindering you much now. The 5 year gap will slowly disappear as your career progresses.

    Obtaining a reference was never an issue for him, fortunately.
     
    Posted: Aug 25, 2017 By: STDFR33 Member since: Aug 7, 2016
  4. The Byre

    The Byre Full Member

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    If it is such a problem, I would write 'self-employed' and if queried, state that you were part of a family business that failed as a direct result of actions by other family members.
     
    Posted: Aug 25, 2017 By: The Byre Member since: Aug 13, 2013
  5. yeahyeahyeah

    yeahyeahyeah UKBF Contributor

    122 14
    Accepted offer, it's conditional. Company is doing background checks at the moment, but yes don't think it should hinder me. Still a bloody pain!
     
    Posted: Aug 25, 2017 By: yeahyeahyeah Member since: Feb 26, 2015
  6. yeahyeahyeah

    yeahyeahyeah UKBF Contributor

    122 14
    I will yeah have to tell people that, real shame that family not strangers is disrupting my career.
     
    Posted: Aug 25, 2017 By: yeahyeahyeah Member since: Feb 26, 2015
  7. yeahyeahyeah

    yeahyeahyeah UKBF Contributor

    122 14
    Update:

    Nearly 6 months at new corporate company in a management role.

    I have made an instant impact from improving how the company runs, and well respected by my colleagues for the work I have done. It has even got to a point where in private people are approaching me to manage their projects.

    My Uncle's business is not doing well from the last I've heard (from ex colleague), apparently he has failed to retain his clients. I do not feel angry anymore, just realised how pathetic he is.
     
    Posted: Feb 20, 2018 By: yeahyeahyeah Member since: Feb 26, 2015
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  8. MY OFFICE IN CHINA

    MY OFFICE IN CHINA Full Member

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    Good for you!

    Shame on your uncle.

    Karma
     
    Posted: Feb 20, 2018 By: MY OFFICE IN CHINA Member since: Nov 16, 2011
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  9. Newchodge

    Newchodge UKBF Legend

    16,065 4,535
    That's wonderful. Thanks for keeping us up to date.
     
    Posted: Feb 20, 2018 By: Newchodge Member since: Nov 8, 2012
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  10. The Byre

    The Byre Full Member

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    I believe I have said it before, but I'll say it again - success is the best revenge!
     
    Posted: Feb 20, 2018 By: The Byre Member since: Aug 13, 2013
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  11. yeahyeahyeah

    yeahyeahyeah UKBF Contributor

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    Pretty amazing turn around to be fair. When I started this thread I didn't think that in a million years I would be in the situation I am in right now. I remember feeling at the time that my career was over from having no references.
     
    Posted: Feb 20, 2018 By: yeahyeahyeah Member since: Feb 26, 2015
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  12. yeahyeahyeah

    yeahyeahyeah UKBF Contributor

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    Hello all,

    Update:

    Settled into my new corporate job now.

    I have since won an industry award for a project I've managed.

    Very happy. Leaving my Uncle's business was a blessing in disguise.

    Just re-read my first post on this thread, jesus - I was in a horrific situation.
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2018
    Posted: Dec 19, 2018 By: yeahyeahyeah Member since: Feb 26, 2015
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  13. yeahyeahyeah

    yeahyeahyeah UKBF Contributor

    122 14
    For anybody reading this thread that has health problems.

    Current company I work for (FTSE100) supports their employees when off sick. A few members of my team have on-going illness and are by no means treated as badly as my Uncle did with me e.g. being put under pressure to leave the company.

    Strongly advise looking at web sites such as Glassdoor (as I did with my current firm) before joining a company to get an insight into how well employees are treated. Also, stay away from start ups, they seem to be a lot more aggressive due to lack of cover.
     
    Posted: Dec 19, 2018 By: yeahyeahyeah Member since: Feb 26, 2015
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  14. MY OFFICE IN CHINA

    MY OFFICE IN CHINA Full Member

    5,800 1,372
    Keep up the good work!
     
    Posted: Dec 19, 2018 By: MY OFFICE IN CHINA Member since: Nov 16, 2011
  15. yeahyeahyeah

    yeahyeahyeah UKBF Contributor

    122 14
    Wise words - since you have wrote that, and after leaving:

    - He has lost all of his clients
    - Is approx a million pounds in debt

    Apparently he is telling other family members that I am the reason why he failed, despite not being there for 4 years now. Incredible.
     
    Posted: Dec 19, 2018 By: yeahyeahyeah Member since: Feb 26, 2015
  16. MY OFFICE IN CHINA

    MY OFFICE IN CHINA Full Member

    5,800 1,372
    I'm sure your other family members can see it for what it is . . . . .

    He seems a very bitter, twisted and sad man and got what he deserved after treating you as he did.

    Just continue with your career, without looking back.

    Well done again!
     
    Posted: Dec 19, 2018 By: MY OFFICE IN CHINA Member since: Nov 16, 2011
  17. yeahyeahyeah

    yeahyeahyeah UKBF Contributor

    122 14
    They can now, but only after proving myself working for strangers.

    Yes he is - he is extremely vindictive if you get onto the wrong side of him to the point it becomes unprofessional. Most places I have worked in, if they want to get rid of somebody, they often do it amicably, with the view to not re-hire that person.

    Although he never intended, in a messed up way what he did to me, gave me that extra drive in my career, and be smarter with how I build it. Thank him for that.
     
    Posted: Dec 19, 2018 By: yeahyeahyeah Member since: Feb 26, 2015
  18. The Byre

    The Byre Full Member

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    I have learnt to totally ignore references and make my own mind up about people. Too often the reference is either deliberately wrong (to help out a buddy, to get rid of someone useless, or just bad or using qualified praise out of spite) or made by someone who is in no real position to judge another person's ability or character.

    Four years - my, but don't time fly!
     
    Posted: Dec 19, 2018 By: The Byre Member since: Aug 13, 2013
  19. yeahyeahyeah

    yeahyeahyeah UKBF Contributor

    122 14
    Agree. Management are often detached from what goes on anyway.

    My old boss had exactly the same approach. It paid dividends after hiring me and others, where otherwise, in my case, I would never have been hired from Uncle sabotaging it.

    He did make bad hires, but they were found out after a month.
     
    Posted: Dec 19, 2018 By: yeahyeahyeah Member since: Feb 26, 2015
  20. yeahyeahyeah

    yeahyeahyeah UKBF Contributor

    122 14
    Update:

    Moved jobs again, now into the big leagues - a global tech company doing a management role.

    Re-read my earlier posts in this thread, never in a million years back then thought I would be in the position that I am in right now.

    Last I've heard - Uncle's business is still failing miserably, and my old line manager from his business is setting up side businesses whilst working for him *roll eyes*.
     
    Posted: Oct 11, 2019 By: yeahyeahyeah Member since: Feb 26, 2015
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