Where to start! Here I am, in the early hours of Christmas Eve, trying to yet again make some sense of what I am going to do. My story dates back to 2009/2010, & it's a long story. Almost immediately after becoming employed in my current job role, the bullying, seclusion, silent treatment, false accusations started. Which was when my line manager at the time changed towards me - I have logged Day/date/time, everything from this starting. My probation period was extended - after numerous "anonymous" complaints were made about me - my word against there's! But if your telling the truth, you stand your ground, which I did. I went to hell and back to get my full contract in place, my line manager stalled as much as possible, she blamed the matter entirely on HR. And generally speaking I was the elephant in the room at any team breifing, which I tolerated, silently for some years. I am one of 7 members of staff employed under this line manager/department. The other 6 members of staff, disliked me for whatever reason, 3 of which being considerably worse then others. Until I went on maternity leave in April 2011 things were like this from date of employment. Thankfully during my MAT leave, the mechanics of the team didn't improve, which proved in my absence, the team still behaved in the same manner. When I returned to work, things were great to say the least, it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. In March 2014 I got married, for personal reasons the marriage unfortunately ended 4 months afterwards. At which point my entire life was in turmoil, to mask my personal life at work, I continued to wear my wedding rings, acted like all was ok & tried my best to hold things together. Once all came to light. I was judged, talked about, & generally made to feel completely secluded. The marriage breakdown was entirely my own fault, which I lock stock paid the price for, in my personal life & my work life. I lost my family and some friends, thankfully bridges have been built with family and I have them back in my life, however things only worsened at work - in Oct 2014 I saw my GP, where I told him only about my marriage breakdown, nothing to do with work was mentioned. The marriage separation was enough at the time to be in the god awful place I was in. My GP was fantastic, he signed me off work & said things to me I will never forget - he saved me initially. Work were on the surface understanding, followed correct procedure, I saw Ocupational Heath, and was referred for counselling, the councillor was the second person to save me - she was outstanding, & I remain grateful that my employer granted me 6 sessions with her. I started back at work in Jan 2015, which was when this second episode of bullying, seclusion, silent treatment, slander, victimisation etc started. We are 2 years on from my 12 weeks off sick, and things remain the same. I have had several opportunities to meet with management regarding the structure of the team, & how I am treated. One manager said to me "it's a good job it's you and not someone more timid" I was made to feel I couldn't escalate the matter - when I asked how I make a formal complaint the same manager said to me "you don't want to do that" My colleagues told me they would speak to me about work and nothing more. I'd sit in the staff room/communal room where no one, not one person would acknowledge me, if I spoke I'd be ignored. And that's exactly how it is today! I was told no one would swap shifts with me, or ever cover a night shift should I need them to. I've spent 5 hours a day sharing a car with another member of staff & they haven't spoken once unless work related. All the more recent bullying was due to our shift pattern around the time I went off sick - I was rotered for Christmas 2014, meaning the rest of the team had to cover my shifts. My timing was awful, never would I intentionally go off sick at Christmas time - I was fighting for my life, I didn't recognise my own reflection, my world was in absolute pieces and I was nothing other then sorry that I'd put on my colleagues - however, they were and still are determined that I'll never be treated like a human being should be at work - I've received text messages from members of staff saying "I'm taking the piss" which apparently is tolerated as no disaplinary action was taken. Things unfortunately remain the same here and now - I am at breaking point, my hands are tied, I have two children both under the age of ten who need me to go to work - moaning does not pay the bills, so here I am, 2 years on, still suffering. I'm a single parent, I have a friend in my life, but no second wage coming into the household. It's easier for me to suffer in silence. On Monday 19th Dec this year I returned to work after my rotered week off, to find out they went on their works Christmas do the previous Friday, pre arranged with management & I was the only member of staff who didn't get an invite. Due to the nature of the job we do get chocolate gifts from our clients at Christmas time - which are then shared between the team. On the same Monday, (19th) again I was told the chocolates had been decided & mine were in the office, (may I add, my point is actualky nothing to do with the chocplates) when I went to collect them, I had to laugh, out of Quality Street, Roses etc, id been allocated a co-op own brand box of assorted choc's. This in itself shows my worth within the team - to so blatantly leave the least desired item for the least desired member of staff says it all. I said nothing. During that week I allocated my remainding annual leave over the Christmas period, communicated it over to my boss, and broke up for Christmas on the Thursday. Friday morning (my first day of A/L) head of department rang me to say I could have any annual leave that week (baring in mind I'd put 1 day in). As it left us understaffed, which I wouldn't know as they don't talk to me. However, 2 other members of staff who had that week scheduled as A/L had both got 5 full days off each, have no night shifts to work over the Christmas & NY period, & neither have small children. The third member of staff who would have covered my shift, as it's his rotered week off, has been sanctioned 5 weeks unpaid leave & is currently in Barbados. I go on call on Friday 30th December, for 7 nights in total, 3 of which are 24 hour standby full days including NYE, New Years Day and the extra day due NYD falling on a Sunday. And I'm told I can't have one days leave prior to my on call, while I have 2 children off school. Today has been absolutely rock bottom for me, the entire team have paraded their Christmas cards in front of me, exchanged gifts and even had a buffet at one of our communal complexes - which again I wasn't invited to! I can't take anymore - my working life is horrible. I'm humiliated, treated differently, and generally made to feel undervalued and unappreciated. It's common knowledge, some of our clients even know. There is no confidentiality, whistle blowing is a waste of time - for an organisation who have an "on paper" shiny bullying policy - I am forever unheard. What on earth do I do? They win again, I have spent the entire morning of my half days leave saucing childcare for next Wednesday as I can't now be off. Not one member of staff has offered me any support around the kids and my on call shifts. Its a waste of time mentioning childcare at work - as I have previously & not a single person cares.... yet we have a policy in place for that also. I rely on friends, family and child care to take my youngest to school at 08.45am, the same time I start work - in the event that one of the three options I have for getting my youngest to school, can't take him on any particular day, I requested an "as and when" flexibility to start work at 09.00am. Was asked to put it in writing, and received a resounding no. In writing. So should my family be on holiday, my friends unavailable &a my childminder sick, I have no alternative solution to get my child to school. What should I do - I feel ready to escalate things, mentally throughout the last two years I have improved & finally got over the marriage separation, but I'm worried that if I take such an organisation on, they will without a doubt get me out! And that's a risk for the kids sake & our livelihood - I can't take! Leaving and finding abother is an option, but I don't want to, I love my job and I'm damn good at it as well. If anyone has any pointers - I'd be very grateful.