Whether VAT is chargeable depends upon the point of supply and for services the supply is taken as being 'where you belong' (usually the place from where you conduct your business which in the case of a limited company is where it was legally constituted).
This is the basic rule however there are special rules which can be applied particularly with services realting to land and property, physical performance(eg performing arts), passenger transport and telecommunications.
I believe in your case as in my own that if you supply your services to a customer in the EU the 'place of supply' is deemed to be in the country of the customer therefore providing you have a valid VAT registration number you do not account for VAT but your customer must account for it in his own country.
If no valid VAT registration is obtained then you must charge VAT.
(Note if the customers VAT registration is a UK one you would have to charge VAT).
If the customer is outside the EU then no VAT is charged.
For BMS
I can confirm that the EC Sales list is for recording supplies of goods and related services eg freight, shipping etc only not services
