Comic Relief: Are entrepreneurs funnier than accountants?
With Red Nose Day 2009 just around the corner, our friends over at AccountingWEB.co.uk are encouraging accountants to share their best jokes. But I know you entrepreneurs can do better!
So come on business owners, post your jokes below and let's show those accountants what a real sense of humour is!
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I'm also the editor of www.businesszone.co.uk - Helping you start and grow your business
[FONT='Verdana','sans-serif']One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that ***** knows I'm smarter than her.[/font]
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Cheers
Robert Terry
KES (South) LTD
The Following User Says Thank You to bobterry For This Useful Post:
I know I'm supposed to be impartial, but since Dan's on your side, I'm afraid I have to go with the accountants. Poor show so far you guys!
You've got to do better than this if you want to keep up with us!
Now get on here and make us laugh!!
Here's a gem from our side:
Did you hear about the constipated accountant? Apparently he couldn't budget, so he had to work it out with a pencil. (Budge it...get it?!)
Dan Martin and Darren Falkingham go on a camping trip. After hiking for several miles, they set up their tent in a field and fall asleep. In the middle of the night, Darren is suddenly awoken by Dan, who is shaking him. "Darren?" Dan inquires in an agitated tone, "Look up at the sky and and tell me what you see." Tired and irritated, Darren replies: "I see millions and millions of stars." Dan, obviously an aspiring Sherlock Holmes, continues: "Right - and what do you deduce from that?" Darren rubs his eyes and sits up: "Well, if there are millions of stars, I suppose there are millions of planets and maybe other forms of life out there." "No, you idiot," complains Dan. "It means someone has stolen our tent."
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Steve
Last edited by Cornish Steve; 11th March 2009 at 14:57.
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