- Original Poster
- #1
A foolproof way to ensure you never achieve your goals
It is that time of year again when I get bombarded with people giving me their advice on New Years resolutions and how to really go for it, smash those barriers and all that other crap. I work with people everyday helping them to achieve their goals in a practical and methodical manor. It may not be as exciting as the super pumped up you get from NLPers and motivational speakers, however what I do works in the real world.
From working with hundreds of people I have noticed what really works and what does not. By keeping in contact with clients it has allowed me to track their progress and see the differences between those who make progress and those who stay stuck.
I have put together my top tips for making sure your goals are never reached and that you stay as you are, or even end up in a worse place. Follow these rules and be frustrated forever!
Make totally unrealistic and unattainable goals
Firstly you have to make completely unrealistic and unattainable goals. If you are 15 stone overweight then aim to be skinny, if you are broke then aim to be a millionaire, if you are single and never had a partner then make sure you want to be able to approach and seduce anyone you choose.
Remember at the first sign that everything is not going to plan, jack it all in and blame everyone and everything apart from yourself.
Ensure that you believe when you reach your goal, life will be pain free and super happy
OK everyone, time to think positively. Once you are skinny life will be amazing, once you are rich you wont have any problems and once you have a girlfriend/boyfriend life will be just peachy. As soon as you reach this massive goal, everything is going to be fine. No more pain, no more suffering, no more living like you do now. All your problems just magically disappear.
Make it one giant leap, never make milestones
Never take small steps! As this time you are going to really do it, you just know it. On Monday morning everything will just happen and you will start to live your new life. If you are currently overweight and eat far too much, dont worry as on Monday you will eat small portions of healthy food and be skinny by Friday. Hey, in fact as you are going to start your diet on Monday, you should eat as much bad food as you can before then!
Breaking super massive goals down into milestones is boring and silly, always make sure you make massive goals so you can really get the adrenalin going just thinking about it. So what if you currently eat 5 take-a-ways a week and never exercise, that Monday morning run and porridge breakfast is defiantly going to happen. You are going to really stick at your new lifestyle this time and not fall at the first hurdle. Make massive changes that completely contradict your way of life, it is the only way to make changes that stick!
Never get professional help
Professionals, bah what do they know. Just because they have spent years studying and working with people getting proven results, you should never go near them. Professionals cost a lot of money, just because they know their subject inside out and know how to get the results you desire, it doesnt mean you should ever go near them. Instead why not do a bit of research on the internet, or better still buy a self help book. Now you are your own expert. Simple eh!
Never plan what you are going to do and when
It is dangerous to plan ahead, especially with all the fun you will be having with your super new life. Sitting down and working out a methodical and practical step by plan and gathering the resources you will need is a complete waste of time. Instead just think of the goal e.g. I want a million pounds, and just get started. You will just learn as you go along and soon you will have a million pounds and a great pain free life you have already dreamt about.
Just think it and you will achieve it. The universe loves you!
Fans of the film The Secret already know this proven and completely true universal law, just think it and it will happen. Are you broke? Then simply think about cheques and money being delivered to you and it will happen. Single and lonely, well just cut out pictures of people you are attracted to, put them on your dream board and soon they will be walking through your door and throwing themselves at you. Massively overweight? Simply stand in front of the mirror and picture yourself as being slim, there is no need to make any changes or exercise. Not when you know The Secret.
The universe loves you and it is there to serve you. Everything happens for a reason and all your wishes will come true. Remember to just think about what it is you want and it will be delivered every time. Know this amazing information how could you ever fail to achieve all your dreams?
Sadly I put this on a message board a couple of weeks ago and people emailed me to thank me for the great information and they are now following my advice. They actually thought they were serious steps to goal setting. Reading the above article you may think I am just a mean person, this is not true. I have worked in the field of change work for several years and I get frustrated when I see people profiting from other peoples pain.
Every year we fall for the same old tricks. Just turn on the TV or read the newspaper and look at all the adverts offering you an amazing new life. People who are desperate will buy and do anything to achieve their goals yet they have little direction, plans or even an understanding to why they want to achieve them.
If you are serious about making changes in your life then I can offer just a few simple tips;
Make a direction instead of a destination.
Instead of wanting to be skinny, aim to live a more healthy lifestyle. Instead of wanting to seduce everyone, aim to improve your social skills and talk to one or two people a day. By making a destination people are often lost when they arrive there and do not know which direction to then take, often they go back to the start as this is what they already know. A common form of this is yo yo dieting, once the weight is lost you do not know what to do so you simply go back to how you were before and the weight starts to gain again.
Work with professionals. If you want the best results then work with people who can really help you. Put the self help books down, stop going on the internet trying to find that little tip, secret or product that will transform everything. Personal trainers, hypnotherapists, dieticians, doctors, financial advisors etc are all available. Yes it may cost you money, but how much is achieve your goals actually worth to you? Working with professionals also makes you accountable to someone and they can save you so much time, pain and wasted effort.
Make plans.
When making a goal, remember to put plans into place and prepare. I specialise in helping people with social anxiety and weight loss and I am always amazed at how people never prepare. If you want to become more sociable then you need to actually plan things to do, start to fill up your calendar and stick to it. If you want to eat more healthily then you need to go and buy and prepare the food to take to work etc. Without proper planning we tend to fall back into old habits.
Calm down!
Everyone wants to change overnight. Unfortunately that is not going to happen, and if it does then it is build on very weak foundations. I have worked with people who have been for weight loss surgery and they are surprised that they are gaining the weight back almost straight away. The fact is that their mind and habits are that of an overweight person, they simply do not know how to act as a thin person.
Aim to make small changes that you can stick to and make part of your daily and weekly life. Sometimes you need to take larger steps, especially to get going, but then introduce small and manageable changes that are not going to revert. When you make massive changes they are hard to stick to, once you fail on one it tends to bring everything crashing down.
Change your strategy, not the amount of effort
Human behaviour is often a strange thing. One major part of our behaviour that keeps is stuck is our desire to be right. We hate to be wrong and we tend to stick to what we know, even though it does not deliver results. Instead of changing our strategy, we put more effort into what we are already doing in an attempt to be right.
People get stuck in their own patterns and this leads to frustration and depression. A classic example is people trying to lose weight. They read every new diet book and try them all, yes they might lose a few pounds but it always come back. Others will tell them that diets do not work, but they dont listen. Instead they keep buying the books and the products hoping that one day they will find the right one and the weight will fall off.
This is another reason why working with professionals is priceless, they can look at what you are doing and make simple yet highly effective changes. It often takes someone with an objective viewpoint to see the mistakes you are making.
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Albert Einstein
Have fun
Matt Kendall
It is that time of year again when I get bombarded with people giving me their advice on New Years resolutions and how to really go for it, smash those barriers and all that other crap. I work with people everyday helping them to achieve their goals in a practical and methodical manor. It may not be as exciting as the super pumped up you get from NLPers and motivational speakers, however what I do works in the real world.
From working with hundreds of people I have noticed what really works and what does not. By keeping in contact with clients it has allowed me to track their progress and see the differences between those who make progress and those who stay stuck.
I have put together my top tips for making sure your goals are never reached and that you stay as you are, or even end up in a worse place. Follow these rules and be frustrated forever!
Make totally unrealistic and unattainable goals
Firstly you have to make completely unrealistic and unattainable goals. If you are 15 stone overweight then aim to be skinny, if you are broke then aim to be a millionaire, if you are single and never had a partner then make sure you want to be able to approach and seduce anyone you choose.
Remember at the first sign that everything is not going to plan, jack it all in and blame everyone and everything apart from yourself.
Ensure that you believe when you reach your goal, life will be pain free and super happy
OK everyone, time to think positively. Once you are skinny life will be amazing, once you are rich you wont have any problems and once you have a girlfriend/boyfriend life will be just peachy. As soon as you reach this massive goal, everything is going to be fine. No more pain, no more suffering, no more living like you do now. All your problems just magically disappear.
Make it one giant leap, never make milestones
Never take small steps! As this time you are going to really do it, you just know it. On Monday morning everything will just happen and you will start to live your new life. If you are currently overweight and eat far too much, dont worry as on Monday you will eat small portions of healthy food and be skinny by Friday. Hey, in fact as you are going to start your diet on Monday, you should eat as much bad food as you can before then!
Breaking super massive goals down into milestones is boring and silly, always make sure you make massive goals so you can really get the adrenalin going just thinking about it. So what if you currently eat 5 take-a-ways a week and never exercise, that Monday morning run and porridge breakfast is defiantly going to happen. You are going to really stick at your new lifestyle this time and not fall at the first hurdle. Make massive changes that completely contradict your way of life, it is the only way to make changes that stick!
Never get professional help
Professionals, bah what do they know. Just because they have spent years studying and working with people getting proven results, you should never go near them. Professionals cost a lot of money, just because they know their subject inside out and know how to get the results you desire, it doesnt mean you should ever go near them. Instead why not do a bit of research on the internet, or better still buy a self help book. Now you are your own expert. Simple eh!
Never plan what you are going to do and when
It is dangerous to plan ahead, especially with all the fun you will be having with your super new life. Sitting down and working out a methodical and practical step by plan and gathering the resources you will need is a complete waste of time. Instead just think of the goal e.g. I want a million pounds, and just get started. You will just learn as you go along and soon you will have a million pounds and a great pain free life you have already dreamt about.
Just think it and you will achieve it. The universe loves you!
Fans of the film The Secret already know this proven and completely true universal law, just think it and it will happen. Are you broke? Then simply think about cheques and money being delivered to you and it will happen. Single and lonely, well just cut out pictures of people you are attracted to, put them on your dream board and soon they will be walking through your door and throwing themselves at you. Massively overweight? Simply stand in front of the mirror and picture yourself as being slim, there is no need to make any changes or exercise. Not when you know The Secret.
The universe loves you and it is there to serve you. Everything happens for a reason and all your wishes will come true. Remember to just think about what it is you want and it will be delivered every time. Know this amazing information how could you ever fail to achieve all your dreams?
Sadly I put this on a message board a couple of weeks ago and people emailed me to thank me for the great information and they are now following my advice. They actually thought they were serious steps to goal setting. Reading the above article you may think I am just a mean person, this is not true. I have worked in the field of change work for several years and I get frustrated when I see people profiting from other peoples pain.
Every year we fall for the same old tricks. Just turn on the TV or read the newspaper and look at all the adverts offering you an amazing new life. People who are desperate will buy and do anything to achieve their goals yet they have little direction, plans or even an understanding to why they want to achieve them.
If you are serious about making changes in your life then I can offer just a few simple tips;
Make a direction instead of a destination.
Instead of wanting to be skinny, aim to live a more healthy lifestyle. Instead of wanting to seduce everyone, aim to improve your social skills and talk to one or two people a day. By making a destination people are often lost when they arrive there and do not know which direction to then take, often they go back to the start as this is what they already know. A common form of this is yo yo dieting, once the weight is lost you do not know what to do so you simply go back to how you were before and the weight starts to gain again.
Work with professionals. If you want the best results then work with people who can really help you. Put the self help books down, stop going on the internet trying to find that little tip, secret or product that will transform everything. Personal trainers, hypnotherapists, dieticians, doctors, financial advisors etc are all available. Yes it may cost you money, but how much is achieve your goals actually worth to you? Working with professionals also makes you accountable to someone and they can save you so much time, pain and wasted effort.
Make plans.
When making a goal, remember to put plans into place and prepare. I specialise in helping people with social anxiety and weight loss and I am always amazed at how people never prepare. If you want to become more sociable then you need to actually plan things to do, start to fill up your calendar and stick to it. If you want to eat more healthily then you need to go and buy and prepare the food to take to work etc. Without proper planning we tend to fall back into old habits.
Calm down!
Everyone wants to change overnight. Unfortunately that is not going to happen, and if it does then it is build on very weak foundations. I have worked with people who have been for weight loss surgery and they are surprised that they are gaining the weight back almost straight away. The fact is that their mind and habits are that of an overweight person, they simply do not know how to act as a thin person.
Aim to make small changes that you can stick to and make part of your daily and weekly life. Sometimes you need to take larger steps, especially to get going, but then introduce small and manageable changes that are not going to revert. When you make massive changes they are hard to stick to, once you fail on one it tends to bring everything crashing down.
Change your strategy, not the amount of effort
Human behaviour is often a strange thing. One major part of our behaviour that keeps is stuck is our desire to be right. We hate to be wrong and we tend to stick to what we know, even though it does not deliver results. Instead of changing our strategy, we put more effort into what we are already doing in an attempt to be right.
People get stuck in their own patterns and this leads to frustration and depression. A classic example is people trying to lose weight. They read every new diet book and try them all, yes they might lose a few pounds but it always come back. Others will tell them that diets do not work, but they dont listen. Instead they keep buying the books and the products hoping that one day they will find the right one and the weight will fall off.
This is another reason why working with professionals is priceless, they can look at what you are doing and make simple yet highly effective changes. It often takes someone with an objective viewpoint to see the mistakes you are making.
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Albert Einstein
Have fun
Matt Kendall
